“You can’t hit the brakes”, my husband, explained. He was referring to things like aging. People age, kids grow up, move out and move on, you reap what you sow, etc.
A person likes to think they can hit the brakes at any time. If you don’t like what is growing in your garden, you can rip the the stuff out and start over, at least until you reach an age that makes this impossible.
There is a point where a line is crossed. You blew out your liver, drinking for example. You lost the respect of your children, your parents, your friends, your partner or your neighbors. You spent all that money / time / energy and it’s gone.
There are circumstances where the water has actually passed under the bridge and considering this, it makes me feel grateful for the things I can still affect.
This is a Saturn phenomena. No one wants to dig up their garden and start over. No one wants to be halfway up a mountain or heavily invested in something be it a relationship or an ideology or a stock of some kind and have to ditch it and start over. What do you mean, I have to rewrite this book?
People resist changing tack because it’s hard. Later it becomes impossible and at that point, you’ve got to live with the result.
Is there something in your life that you really ought to scrap? Why do you resist?
yeah: self-loathing and it’s many manifestations. I’m working very hard to scrap that. Sun-Saturn and Moon-Pluto–both by square.
On the other hand, this post cheered me up because there is virtually nothing else in my life I need to scrap and that’s a great feeling!
one of the most salient characteristics of life is its coersiveness, its always urgent, here and now, we cant postpone living untill were ready, life is fired at us point blank. on the other hand we can keep having facelifts untill our pubic hair becomes a goatee.
I dunno. I seem to have had to do this since the moment I popped out of the womb and if I don’t do it, the universe does it for me. It’s a sun/pluto/uranus thing coupled with Scorpio rising I think. Destruction and regeneration patterns. I don’t see it stopping until the day I die.
Evidently, my spiritual practices. 🙂
I think I must have communicated my idea poorly because I didn’t get it across. jamie, right again!
I’ve no idea how to fix it, so I’m going to sleep.
I’ve always had problems with letting go with what is necessary,and starting over.
What I mean by that is, I tend to run to the extremes; I’ll start everything all over, retaining none of the useful bits, or resist any change whatsoever at tremendous cost.
Life for me has been about trying to recall the perfect balance we all had at childhood, but instead running from one extreme to the next and using the resulting scars as feedback to determine where that middle ground is.
-Rob
Leo/Virgo cusp rising
Sag : sun,mercury,jupiter,uranus neptune
Scorpio : pluto, saturn
Libra : moon, venus, mars
Thank you, Elsa.
I’ve been reading your blog off and on for about 2 years now.
I’ve also been enjoying it. 🙂
-Rob
To answer your question Elsa…
“Is there something in your life that you really ought to scrap? Why do you resist?”
Yes.
I resist because in the moment it is always easier fall back on a grudge than to recognize my role in shaping my circumstance. It is also the embarrassment for having been so wrong in my life hypotheses, and confronting the remorse associated with wasted time. It is guilt for having caused pain for loved ones, and frustration at my blundering ways. Perhaps there is a bitterness reserved for those that have misled gullible me, but that is not a feeling I let myself acknowledge.
It is all these emotions that prevent me from making the logical choices necessary to turn a sticky matter toward an outcome that is more favorable.
The gist of it is.. The thing that keeps me from consistently choosing the best choices, the harder choices, and the right choices is the addiction to the easy way out born from the philosophy of “if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist” applied to reality in general.
-Rob
Rob, yes, your thinking along the same lines I am. You don’t do it because it’s hard and eventually the hard becomes impossible and then… arrgh.
Elsa, would this also relate to Saturn Return though in a person’s life? Or how may this be different from a Saturn Return?
How funny, I’m watching one of the Hoarders series right now.
The guy [of course] is really resisting, eventually saying something along the lines of, “…either youre pregnant or your not, either youre this or youre not, either youre a hoarder or youre not!”
I’m sitting here thinking, ‘yes, thats the point, that what this whole thing is about, scrap that shit sir!…BE free!’
Saturn is in my 7th right now. I’ve come to realize that all of my decisions, as far as partnerships go, have been for crap – business and personal. I need to scrap the career path I’ve been on for the past 5 years – the universe is definitely telling me this, in bold living color. The question is, what do I do next? That’s always the question, dammit.
thinking i can do everything i want to.
i want too much nowadays. have to prioritize. and have waaay less energy.
I appreciate your approach to Saturn, Elsa. I know saturn is considered a ‘malefic’ in traditional astrology, and in general Saturn related work is not exactly the kind of work most people would opt for. However, I have to appreciate the wisdom of Saturn as it kind of transcends just day to day human expectations of what is called for, and even what we as individuals are capable of. I’ve made it a point to accept and put in the work when it feels Saturnian in nature; have luckily had the energy and resources to do so, and feel it results in the kind of unshakable foundation that is built slowly, over time, and can’t easily be broken. I’m currently leaving a job where everyone I know is unhappy; but they don’t want to “work harder” or give up the do nothing but ultimately toxic environment that is this workplace. And these are young, able-bodied, well educated people at the beginning chapters of their careers! Anyway, I feel there is a special discipline and indomitability and non-braggadocius but solid confidence that comes w heeding Saturn over the course of a lifetime. It’s my goal to accept the Saturnian influences in my life when they demand more of me, because I’m always surprised to find, at the end of all that hard work, I was so capable of rising to the challenge. Wish more could enjoy this hard won fruit, too.
Tr Saturn is currently in my 11H. I moved to a new city last year. I am in the process of making new friends, finding new groups/church to join, and set new goals and dreams – all 11H domain.
How do you stop a huge, running, train?
I don’t think you can. I’d step out of the way and if that can’t be done, pray to God to help you deal.
When the person has tied themselves on the train tracks…..
Oh yes, this terrifies me all the time. I’m very mutable (and young) so the idea that what’s done is done both comforts and enrages me. I have Saturn/Mars on the IC, opposing Chiron. I’ve had times in my life where I can very clearly discern the moment where the water passed under the bridge and I know I built the bridge and redirected that river. The realization there is potent. Time is linear. You can’t get yesterday back ever, which is why I never understood the sentiment of “tomorrow is a new day”/ i.e. a fresh start. Yes but yesterday happened and all the things done then can’t be undone and the repercussions, however faint, still echo.
“Is there something in your life that you really ought to scrap?”
Yes, my view of how the world (people) should be (behave).
“Why do you resist?”
Because scrapping that view annihilates the very core of me. Which is a kind of suicide. It IS suicide. Except I DON’T (physically) die (alas).
At the same time, I know that my view does not SERVE me. So I have been killing it off piece by piece over the years, decades. Death by a thousand cuts. And so it is that I (physically) live on in a (physical) body whose soul has been (largely) excoriated. The walking dead.
It’s been a lose-lose proposition.
I am now seeking a third way. Because neither of the above “ways” has been successful. Success being determined by the QUALITY of my life.
Fortunately, Pluto is going through my 12th house (as is Saturn). My beliefs (12H) are being transformed (Pluto). I am doing my part by working hard (Saturn) at it. I hope I end up with a new, successful, risen from the ashes, worldview.
I root’n for yah, Tango. Pluto is on my Ascendent now, and so appreciate your sentiments/your description. I wondered how that stream of consciousness exercise with SHARP KNIVES worked for you?
I’m withya Sista. Over the long haul we cycle through (Saturn) and Gaia.:::I raise my hands to you, Tango:::
Mokihana! I finally did do the stream-of-c writing…. I did a first phase, which yielded a valuable insight. I was pleased, but felt it was just a plateau… that there was more to come. I set it aside. Until just now. Some stuff happened over the last couple of days, including a blog that came into my life. I now have “the full picture”. The full insight. So thank you for the story of scrapping your dull knives and replacing them with new ones! Here’s hoping your new knives are holding their edge well!
I luvs ya, Moki! ((((sistahug))))
I have not done that stream-of-c yet. Have been under a veritable deluge of stuff streamed into me from Outer Sources. So much to process.
Thanks for reminding me about the knives. Now noted at the top of a sheet of paper, at the ready!
Oops, that didn’t get posted where intended, but good enough!
Toxic relationships, emotional vampires.
This was such a fortuitous post for me. I got up and did some CODING!
I realise I will only have so long to learn it in.
Great painting!
I need to give up trying to comfort myself with food. It started years ago when I worked 12 hours nightshift and I felt like I had the flu all of the time so I would treat myself hoping to feel better/have more energy.
Is there something in your life that you really ought to scrap?
Material things: objets of sentimental value
Why do you resist?
To me this is like killing the emotions & conncections that go with these objects.
I noticed this after getting married and having kids. My “youth” was over. You can’t just scrap the spouse and children and say “do-over!” All the fantasies you may have had for your life are replaced by the reality you chose. Some things turn out, others don’t, it’s the way of things. There is no escaping it, even if you decide to leave – the people you chose will still exist, consequences too. And it won’t be like a fresh start in any way.
Saturn transits guide me. I learned to put effort into the areas activated. The needs of the people we are related to shape us and may help or hinder us. Sometimes people are lucky in their relatives and I am grateful for the ones who loved me. The best feeling in looking through things accumulated and musing upon one’s past is realizing you made an effort, you worked a plan, or that you were generous, or a source of comfort to your sphere of influence. With astrology giving me hints as to how to live my life I did better than I otherwise would have. But yes, I have had losses.
I like what dolce said: …”even if you decide to leave–the people you chose will still exist, consequences too. And it won’t be a fresh start in any way.” People who are discerning can read your character and sometimes a bit of your past just looking at you. So you can let go of things or people but you may need prayer, therapy, kindness from others, faith, etc to keep going.
What do I need to discard? Books. Plan: Work through boxes to donate paper-bound books to groups who send books to prisoners. (No hardbound books allowed, especially not any with concealed weapons tucked into the binding. Haha.)
Giving good quality items to someone you know who needs them makes it easier to let go. I usually do this intentionally. However, my car was recently broken into and only the gas money in the glove box and a coat and pair of thick socks for winter emergency use were taken. No malicious slashing of upholstery or scratching of paint occurred. It was a thrift store coat. I actually felt a bit happy that someone who needed a pair of good winter socks had solved their problem. I shall get a new pair when a sale happens.
Certain sports are off limits as you age, and when friends die, they are unavailable except in your dreams. A friend who was in his seventies when I first met him had a humorous postcard that read, “It’s beginning to look as if I will never become president.”
Big change is hard because the unknown can is scary. When faced with the unknown, we can imagine things becoming even harder than they already are. So we trick ourselves into believing we are better off sticking with the same.
Sometimes it takes me years to understand what you say and respond to these questions, a lot of time I’m not ready. I feel like Pluto also causes you to scrap patterns. Over and over again I meet people who tell me that I have to do more and also describe my social problems, demand to ask why I can’t relax in their presence, among other things. I think I have to do stuff. How can someone with social and emotional problems be in a relationship or anything? I crave connection but really I have to save myself.