“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.” –Leo Buscaglia
Saturn going into Libra marks the beginning of a time when our larger focus is on the integrity of our relationships. I know I tend to be most interested in my romantic relationships, but it is the capacity for relationship itself that will determine the success or failure of any relationship. One’s basic relationship signature, one’s ability to relate, becomes the foundation on which all interaction is built.
Attachment theory, as originated by Dr. John Bowlby was later expanded by psychologist Mary Ainsworth. I believe this widely accepted theory of human behavior is the most basic element in the success or failure of human relationship.
Attachment styles originate from earliest childhood, from our interactions with our caregiver, for most, our parent or parents. If our caregiver has a mostly healthy attachment style we get our emotional needs met and learn to forge healthy relationships ourselves. If our caregiver is unresponsive, hostile, or mixed, our approach to relationships is less straightforward, less healthy. We make basic decisions which form our ability to trust and decisions about our worth, decisions that are reflected eventually in our behavior and the success of our relationships.
Studies with foster children who displayed unhealthy attachment patterns have shown that these patterns are not static. When these children were placed in situations where a foster parent displayed consistent, healthy attachment patterns in their caregiving, a majority of the children achieved healthy attachment patterns themselves.
With Saturn in Libra we’re going to face the ramifications of how we relate. Is it good enough? What do we need to improve? We all have different personalities, different drives and levels of want and need which can be seen so clearly in the natal chart. A basic ability or inability to relate, enhanced or debilitated by learned attachment patterns, will grease the wheels or throw on the brakes when we interact with others.
Therapy is the conventional way to “improve” yourself. Whether or not people find it actually helpful varies GREATLY. I have a theory as to why this is. I think a therapeutic relationship at its best is re-parenting, reforming the subject’s attachment style. The therapist is a Saturn figure (ideally) focusing on the subject’s needs and providing focused feedback and attention. That is why a good fit is essential to the therapeutic relationship. The method is not as important as the relationship (again, just my theory).
Some people don’t believe in therapy, and I think they are also right. An older friend, a clergyperson, heck even a really good boss can play this role every bit as well. It’s about learning to re-balance through relation to a Saturn figure.
Did you have a “satisfactory” upbringing? Do you play well with others? Is this reflected in the success of your relationships?