Scared To Spend Another Loner Year In High School: Sagittarius Sun, Capricorn Rising

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Dear Elsa,

I am nervous about the upcoming school year. I had a hard time making friends last year. I pretty much became a loner. I don’t like school very much anymore and I am getting signs of depression. What do you suggest?

High Schooler

Dear High Schooler,

I have to offer some kind of blanket disclaimer… you might consider having your level of depression evaluated by a professional. But what I really think will help your Sagittarius Sun is an expanded perspective and a ray of hope, which I can provide.

This is how life works. Seriously. These are facts:

One year does not predict the next. You are on a journey and things are constantly changing. So the idea that this year will be like next year is a fear, as opposed to reality.

Number two, I guarantee you every fourteen year-old on the planet has feelings similar to yours. You know those girls with all the friends? The ones who are snotty and put other girls down? Underneath that bravado is pure desperation.

See, you have no or low friends, so you’re scared. The girls with tons of friends are scared too. Scared they are going to lose their position!

Basically, what I am saying is it is very hard to be 14!! This is universal! And what I suggest is you go out there and look for your own kind. You want to find a “tribe”.

See, you have a lot of Capricorn, so lots of fear. And what will help is having a plan. So when I was a kid… well obviously I am a little odd. So guess what I did? I hung with the other odd kids. The out-of-the-closet gay boy with lots of angst. The girl with the brother dying of cancer at sixteen years old. And I had significant friendships with them. So never mind the cheerleading squad, you know? The girls worried about an inch of fat on them! Are you getting this? That’s not your tribe, anyway!

There is a way to navigate. There is a way to survive high school!! Just quit feeding the fear and start making a smart plan, instead. Believe you have a “tribe” out there and further, that you will find them, and them you. Because you do and you will.

Much love and good luck.


4 thoughts on “Scared To Spend Another Loner Year In High School: Sagittarius Sun, Capricorn Rising”

  1. Good advice. And always remember to keep telling yourself: High school ends. It really does. Trust me.


  2. Friendships take time to build. No one ever tells you when you are young that often you have to ‘weed’ through people who are potential! That’s normal.

    Most importantly, Be Yourself. As Elsa mentioned, look for potential friends who are similar to you. In your classes, after-school activities etc…be involved with those around you. This means: TALK, share stories, help others, and simply TRY. BE the kind of person you would want to be friends with and you will attract new people! Decide to ‘brighten up’ your overall approach to Life and watch what happens!!

    Life will always put us in places where we do not know anyone. Whether it is a new school, a new city to live in, a new job….it is part of Life. And while it may seem daunting, you simply take baby steps each day and try your BEST!

    Keep you Head UP!! Smile and R-E-L-A-X. New people move into town each year giving you potential to meet a new friend! Even if you meet ONE friend, that may be all you need for now!!

    Brighten up-This may be YOUR YEAR!!
    And you can make it your year if you choose!

  3. High Schooler – I’m a Capricorn who had a lot of trouble making friends in school too so I sympathize. I strongly encourage you to pursue yoru personal interests in school ~ clubs, classes ~ and I bet you’ll find someone you click with. I skipped a lot of that stuff because I was afraid to try on my own…I know now that I could have gone in alone and come out as part of a group, so this is my hindsight speaking to you!

  4. I don’t know if this will help, but here’s my experience:

    I was ostracized in school, because I’m one weird cookie. For years and years I tried to ingratiate myself into some group, some clique, that would have me. I’d try to play nice and conform so that maybe, *maybe*, someone would like me.
    Eventually, I got tired of this. I felt hollow, and I was sick of pretending to be who I wasn’t. So you know what? The summer before school started, I said “Fuck ’em.” Forget ’em if they didn’t like who I was! Why should I make myself miserable trying to please people that, for one, cannot be pleased, and for another, don’t matter in the first place?
    That year was the first year I made lasting friendships.

    It’s all in your outlook. And those people commenting up there (^)? They know what they’re talking about to.
    The sooner you can find something that will work for you, the luckier and happier you will be. Some adults don’t have this down yet!

    We’re rooting for you!

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