Dear Elsa,
Two months ago, I began dating a Scorpio man who has been a very close friend for the past 3 years. During this time, he had made it very obvious that he wanted to take our friendship to the next level. However, when we met, I had recently come out of an abusive relationship and was not ready to open myself up emotionally. My friend was very aware of what I had gone through as I’d always felt comfortable telling him what is on my mind. Anyway, being the ever changing Gemini that I am, I quite suddenly changed my mind about how I feel towards him and so we began dating.
The problem is that he has become very erratic in his behavior towards me. More erratic than me (imagine that)! We recently had a conversation were he said that he thought we needed to slow things down a bit. Of course I wanted to know why and so he told me he was scared. He said that it bothered him that I could have such a complete turnaround in the way I felt about him after spending 3 years insisting we are just friends and that I needed to give him some time to figure this out. I said it sounded like he was trying to end it already but he said he wasn’t ending it but more like putting it on hold for awhile.
Now here is the part that threw me for a loop: his very next sentence was, and I quote “You know that when we get married, it will be forever.” Okay, here we are having a conversation where he is basically telling me to back off because he is having issues with the relationship but then throws the M word out there. For the first time in my life, I am completely speechless. In the meantime he’s just standing there looking at me like I supposed to completely get where he is coming from. Talk about making 180 degree turns.
What I want to know is if this is normal behavior for a Scorpio? And if so, am I supposed to try to read between the lines or just go with the flow? It’s making me crazy and I think he’s doing it on purpose even though he says he’s not. I thank you for any help you can give me on this. I truly want to make this work between us because I do have strong feelings for him and he has told me that he also has very strong feelings for me. I just don’t know how to make any sense of his behavior.
Gemini Girlfriend
United States
Dear Girlfriend,
It does sound like typical Scorpio behavior, in that it is manipulative. But it is so poorly executed… well let me confide.
Sometimes I read these posts and wonder if one or the other person is drunk. Because no one ever writes me and says, ‘yeah, he or she did this and by the way they drank ten beers that night!” Because if they did, that would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?
But since I don’t know, I am going to assume sobriety and tell you that I don’t think you are going to be able to “make this work” – mainly because it sounds to me as if he is trying to make it “not work”. And will he win? Of course.
When there are two people – one of them hell bent on destruction, the other trying to be constructive – the negative person will always win. And if you wonder about this, just ask yourself how long it takes to build something… as compared to how long it takes to knock it down.
I am sorry, but if I were you, with a history of being in abusive relationships, I would be on high alert with this one. Because Scorpio is not likely to take their energy off you when they are (relatively) healthy and authentically interested and committed you.
Good luck.
Sad to say, I agree with Elsa 100% on this one, Gemini Girlfriend. The only advice I offer in situations like this is to ask yourself the hypothetical question: If you could have a perfect relationship, what would it be? The Perfect Relationship, mind you . . .
I think she needs to check herself too. If she is a self-proclaimed mixed-signal giver than she got a taste of her own medicine, and needs to be more understanding of the guys behaviour. If someone I wanted for 3 years was reticent and then suddenly changed their mind and wanted to go full speed, I’d freak out too. I think its her turn to be the steady one, show her dedication and pay her dues, but as Elsa said be careful of the abusive pattern, since you seem to be drawn to guys like that.
Spot on! I’m a Gemini lady involved in a tug-of-war with a Venus in Scorp guy. One minute he is “in my face” like I’m the greatest thing–next he’s acting like I don’t even exist. I realize I need much more from a man so I refuse to let him manipulate me with his head games. I deserve better and will let him play his Scorpio games all by himself.
It’s hard as heck but ignoring him seems to be the only option for me.
I know folks say Scorpio always wins in these situations… But maybe winning and getting his way are mixed up in the Scorp’s head. If you push love away in order to keep control–what is it you have actually won?
Hey common darling, you cant win back a scorpions heart. Its just waste of time. If he is ignoring you , its certain that you gave him a reason for that and you are completely responsible for that. May be he loves you but he will never come back to you. You really are unlucky. Just forget him. Scorpions are as sweet as sugar and as sensitive as a leaf. Even i lost my sweatheart (he is a scorpion) i understood that i can never get him back. But i miss him a lot. I cant forget him. The days i was with him are the happiest days in my life
As geminis our erratic behavior in relationships makes scorpio insecure and play mind games, which make them appear erratic as well (rise above this). Try to be stable in your love for him. Ive fallen for a friend that is a scorpio. He sends major mixed signals, contradicting messages with what his intentions are with me.Maybe he is mirroring me.Maybe he is not.
If your boyfriend knows how you feel about him, and you show consistancy; then It is unfair that he keeps you waiting, and confused. As geminis our curiousity will keep us interested in analyzing scopio’s mind games. With manipulation comes hurt. be cautious and take things slow,
best of luck from a gemini girlfriend to
Gemini Girlfriend
What does it mean when a Taurus woman tells her Virgo boyfriend of 3 years, that she can never be as emotionally close to a man as to a woman?
You must be a Scorpio, too. LOL
This guy is being a petty little drama queen. He doesn’t really love her. When they met, he wanted booty and she had REAL and trajic issues to deal with. He only pretended to be a friend so he could stick around and get that precious revenge and pay her back for the initial failure to be all about his selfish Scorpio USER ass.
He’s abusive, AND PETTY! RUN! Run, run, run!!!
Scorpios wouldn’t be so bad if they actually picked REAL things to punish. For the most part, they could be angry with infants, Jesus, or Mr Rogers and feel justified for dismembering their body and sprinkling the parts around the Egyptian Desert. Just saying…
Oh My Gosh!!! I don’t know why I came across these posts. It must be for a reason. I am a Gemini girl. I have met a Scorpio male. We have talked for a year via text message. We met online. Hmm not sure if I want to go into detail on here, but if someone wants to chat or give me insight.. please 🙂
I have read tons of online stuff to about us. I just don’t know what to think about him anymore. Do all Scorpios play games too.. Also what is the point in acting like a smitten schoolboy and poking fun all the time at me?! About my looks or height… It is a game, but why, what is underneath?