What Is This Scorpio Man’s Motivation?

This question is from a 45 year old woman:

Why would a Scorpio male start a new relationship with a woman and plan to move in with her, if he was still having great sex with a former girlfriend?

Why would he cheat with his former girlfriend after making a commitment, but before actually moving in with the new girlfriend?

And when caught cheating, why would he put a great deal of effort into saving the new relationship? Is it out of plain guilt or because he actually wants the relationship but just thought he would get a bit of the side before officially moving in with the new

Curious Cancer


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15 thoughts on “What Is This Scorpio Man’s Motivation?”

  1. The last time I cheated on a boyfriend was 10 yrs ago….and though I cared for him, I still cared for my old boyfriend too. In the end, I obviously didn’t respect any of us. I stayed with the new beau because it just was never going to work out with the ex and there was more potential in the new relationship. I was 24 and wanting to settle down…obviously, I was a horrible person for cheating and was being selfish. I wanted this new person because I thought he was what I needed. It was about me, not him. Horrible? Yes, absolutely. People that do what I did are thinking of themselves only. I was.

    Sorry. I hope your current issue has a good resolution.


  2. I don’t remember where I read it (maybe in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’) but if somebody doesn’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing it’s a bad sign. It means he’s operating somewhat unconsciously. Does he now want you to make his decision for him? Just curious.

    1. I have to admit the above said is more than likely true ,given the maturity of the Scorpio dealt with . If there was misunderstood confrontation mentally/or astrologically could have also been a mistaken slight of cheek or intentional again due to do his maturity level of subconscious uncontrollable emotional flair they seem to have at times.Either way. Could have done it in better judgement of self,you,or both as they do see things at difference levels than most,usually way more intensely and in depth with the emotional variables firing like a calculator. Highly stressed = Highly sexed.

  3. What a very interesting thing it is, wondering about another human’s motives. Interesting and exhausting…especially if the human in question is behaving like a complete nut-job.

  4. Scorpio has a need to merge that is very strong and at the same time, in my own experience, there’s the whole issue of control and, by implication, freedom. He wants the new relationship and is making a commitment and at the same time, that commitment confines him, so he cheats with his ex as a way to maintain some semblance of freedom from his own commitment… kind of a whacked out way for him from flying too close to the flame.

    That’s how I’d wrap my head around it.

  5. Charlotte – great cartoon. :)) It totally describes my Scorpio mother. She’s done that trick to so many, it’s a wonder ppl haven’t created a posse to get her. I think it’s because she still seems pathetic while she screws ppl over. Getting their little point in costs them alot in what can never be recovered after: trust and equal relationships.

    So wyrdling I disagree – a person can’t have it all *in a particular relationship* once they’ve set that relationship on shaky ground by cheating, lying, or whatever. The dude we’re talking about must not want it all, he must want to be limited….

  6. Hi there everyone,

    Thanks for the responses.

    T-carat, I think he’d already made his decision, but after making his decision, he then fled back to the safe and familiar ex girlfriend until I was a 100% certainty and we were under the same roof.

    Perhaps I’m wrong.

    He was also using the drug ice recreationally with his ex girlfriend – which he has stopped completely now. Not sure if that contributed or not. It’s always so easy to blame anything but your own nature.

  7. Peek at yourself first before moving on with a new partner.
    There are many voices within you pulling in different directions.

    One voice focuses on relationships with your Sun in the 7th, North node in Leo in the 8th (mostly sexual-romantic) (merge our stuff lessons, but through the Leo first phase of relationship, which is the romantic stage)add to that the drive for playful (5th) sensuality (Taurus) with your Mars in the 5th (first stage of relationship in Taurus physicality). I won’t even touch the projected Neptune in the 11th. (Friends (11th) with illegal (in Scorpio) drugs (Nep))

    It’s only the “voice” of your Mercury in Gemini in the 6th (6th is the Nesting part of a relationship), that gets the VERBAL commitment, not necessary more, “like, let’s live together” without really thinking it through, Gemini, tends to be perceptive but doesn’t think things through to the end. So the deal looks good on paper or in words, but that is well, just talk.

    And another driving force is your Sun in Cancer, and we all know how much Cancer wants the security (keyword) of a partner, but most Cancer’s have partners that are the equivalent of furniture (they haven’t really looked into if this person is a really compatible partner as long as he goes with the rest of the furniture in the house.

    So you have to see these drives, and not let all these voices make decisions for you.

    The first thing in your chart though that made an impression on me was your Aquarian Moon and how it wants to really be free and independent. and usually unconsciously atttracts potentially unavailable partners.

    The key is to have to own your identity and “own” your need for independence instead of attracting it unconsciously through a disappearing erratic behaviour partner.

    This same moon projects your own Venus in Leo in the 8th (or sex/merge/controlling assests of others/sharing etc) The Other, may become either your Moon for you or that Don Juan, romantic, flirtatious Venus in Leo, and in the 8th it just adds more sexy spice to the mix. Either you are this femme fatale or the cool “just move on,there are others, I don’t give a @#$” Aquarius moon or someone elses plays this out for you.

    These are parts of you.

    And with so much see-saw (oppositions though wide) in your chart…projection is part of your “story”.

    Saturn now on your Pluto in the 9th, may make you aware of your need to “share your space “Virgo-nest-like” with someone who shares more of your True (9th) Moral (Virgo) values. More of a partner who can “walk the path” (9th)with you, and less of the gamey, usey, flirty, Venus in the 8th, and less of the “I could just cut out in a sec.. ice cold” Aquarian Moon…

  8. Julia – It could be a temporary aberration – it sounds like he’s playing out transiting Neptune squaring his Sun sign in a way that involves lack of boundaries (uh, and drugs). Like .. him telling you he has great sex with his ex! That reveals some kind of boundary issue on his part .. is he looking at you as a buddy? a mommy? a bandage (feeling like a wounded puppy -that could also be the affect of a Neptune square)?

    Anyhow .. be careful where you step .. could be slippery doody .. if you trust yourself to get out when you need to, that’s key.

  9. Sigh! This will be a bit brutal but I have to point something out. I apologize ahead of time…Think of the tone as a tough but very loving Leo mom…
    I’d say just refuse to focus on figuring him out. He definitely has ego and boundary issues.
    But so do you, love.
    If he cheats, then own your part in it, learn the love lesson, then walk away. Its not a Scorpio thing or a Libra thing or a Gemini thing or any zodiac thing.
    Oh…you guys had great sex…Oh yes, While its important I never thought that that is what keeps people together for 60 years.)

    You cant help it? You love him? I don’t see you saying anything about love. You are flustered that hes with someone else despite the great sex. The….sex….are you listening to yourself.

    How can you love a man that obviously didn’t care he violated your trust. A man who uses your addiction to the oxytocin rush(eh-em…ORGASM) he gives you to keep you there…you know…just in case it doesn’t work out. Oh sorry…I forgot about the great sex….

    This is not a love issue at this point, or an “energy” “bonding” of whatever issue, now this is a sex issue for both of you. Don’t paint it for anything else than what it is. Its not romantic. Its incredibly sad for you. Great for him….you know… the guy that just violated your trust and broke your heart. He still get your ….nether regions as a back up…
    If you didnt take his zodiac sign into consideration would you make the same effort…wasting time trying to figure his reasons out. Oh that right…the great sex…
    No need…its simple because he can because you allow it hon’.
    Do you think he respects you for allowing this to continue…not allowing and loving yourself by moving on to someone better? He will eventually despise you and pity you for it and paint himself the great compassionate one…the one that has to out….of…loyalty, stay connected so you dont lose him…a spiritual love for you after all you were together…
    In the meantime, you will have wasted precious ME time tying up your emotions and preventing yourself to be open with someone else.. If that’s what Cancers want from a partner I guess its OK then.
    And if don’t believe me. Go without f***ing or seeing him for 6 months. Go on a trip. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him.
    Oxytocin is like any chemical drug sweets. Initial withdrawal is hard but the longer you are away from it the easier it gets. After being out in the world with no contact with him, I think you will find you wont give a crap trying to figure him out.
    You have great loving work in the world to do. Its his job to figure himself out…not you to justify having sex with him. Stop excusing him into your bed and stop relying on the “scorpio” thing as a cop out for doing the real work on yourself.
    Now pick up what’s left of your ass and move on. You dont want to be 60 and looking back at this moment as a time where you let yourself down
    But rather the time you walked away with your head held high and by doing so, raising your vibration to attract someone who will still be holding your hand at 60.

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