Dear Elsa,
I am a gay male Libra approaching my two and a half year mark with my Libra boyfriend. I understand that I am sensitive, empathetic person who despises vulgarity and cruelty. The only thing I don’t understand is why my boyfriend does not stand for the same things as I do. He is the complete opposite of me: stubborn, rude, vain, shallow, and narcissistic.
Sometimes I honestly believe that he is evil because he is an October Libra and I am a September Libra. I just don’t understand why we clash so much when our sign says we are the ultimate couple. I feel invincible with him, but when it is bad his comments shatter my self worth. I love public affection but he doesn’t seem too big on it. I like to relax with a movie or an article while he likes to party and get drunk with friends. I am a college graduate and he is a high school drop out.
Honestly Elsa, what am I missing here? I can only put up with my significant other’s failures for so long, then I may give up altogether.
September Libra
United States
Dear Libra,
I can’t resolve this for you but I can offer my perspective which may allow you to see things in a different way. First, you are more than just your Sun sign. You have a Moon sign, a Venus sign, a Mars sign… aspects between planets, etc. And this means that people are individuals. One Libra is not like another Libra and if they were, it would mean there were only 12 kinds (signs) of people in this world which is obviously not the case.
Considering this, it’s not reasonable for you to expect your boyfriend to think and feel and act as you do and I am not sure it’s preferable either. Because the relationship you describe is quintessentially Libra, in that the two you balance each other. You are educated, he is not. You are refined, he is not. You want to kiss in public, he does not.
Now I am not telling you that you should not go find someone you have more in common with, because you may want to do that. But if you’re going to take this path, then understand why you’re doing it and make sure it’s what you want.
Because Libra does need balance. And Libra needs something to balance as well. So take the time to imagine what it would be like if in fact your boyfriend was a clone of you. Would it really please you, or no?
Then if you want to get this moving, then stop looking at how you’re different – you’ve done this to death anyway. And stop looking at how you might make him more like yourself too, because this is also fruitless.
Instead focus on the fact that he’s not like you. Focus on the fact he is opposite you in many ways and ask yourself if this serves you and helps you to grow in anyway. Take this tack and I think you’ll find your way and make a decision you can be comfortable with.
Good luck.
You pry hold resentments more than he. Higher in ‘status’ you pry care more. It would be well to open a discussion, but maybe you need to follow his lead. Both of you would tend to be wide open so this is tricky. The power of Libra is compassion something we all need strive for and i’d look at your joint(synastry) marses for what you unconsciously seek.
You mentioned he is an October Libra. Wonder if he is close to being a Libra/Scorpio cusp, or if he has many planets, or at least one or two important ones in Scorpio. That could explain the abrasiveness and cruelty.
Also, keep in mind that while most of us Libras (I am late Virgo, but I have Libra rising and three planets in Libra in the first house, so I consider myself a Libra), like you, do not like vulgarity or contrariness, there are Libras out there that are the complete opposite.
My childhood sweetheart is a Libra. He is EXTRTEMELY argumentative and somewhat crude. I just chalk it up to him sort of going in the complete opposite direction on the Libra scale. All about balance.
Hope that helps.
Lucy