The Horror Of Falling In Love

Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of working with a funny, eccentric, highly intelligent, young man in depths of despair. Why? The poor bastard is in love.  That’s right. He got hit by the Thunderbolt. He’s 22 years old and trying to figure out what this means.

“What is means?” I said to his moon in Sagittarius, “What it means is that you’re screwed, blued and tattooed. What it means is you can’t leave this girl without becoming very miserable. You’re gonna suffer every day you’re not with her, and if you leave, you’re going to loop back, because she is the one for you and you are the one for her and you know it.”

He does know it. He’s plenty smart, but it’s horrifying in a way. It’s heavy.

He’s got Saturn in Scorpio transiting the bottom of his chart. He’s got to form (Saturn) his family (4th). People struggle with this when they’re 30 and 40 and 50 years old. How would you like to grapple with this at his age…and at her age?

“Look,” I said. ‘If you didn’t want to fall in love, maybe you should have stayed home that day. But you didn’t stay home, so now you’ve got this problem and it’s not going anywhere. I know you’re bitching, but keep in mind thta most people in this world are out looking for real, true love. You have it so you’re just going to have to deal with it and so is she…”

I told denamaria about these two and she laughed her head off. We’re happy there are young people out there who are still doin’ it. They’re falling in love, for real.

Have you ever been in love like this? Where you just know you’re toast?

40 thoughts on “The Horror Of Falling In Love”

  1. Yes, I have. I’m as glad as you to find out there are people still falling in Love for real out there! Somehow I think the joys and the pros of it outweigh the cons by far. But then again I’m a Libra. Anyway, the least I can say is that being in Love makes people more open, more sensitive, more empathic. I think being in Love makes the world a better place not just for you, but for everybody. (Does this sound too much Libra?)

  2. Yes. And it was tremendously scary for both of us. He ran away and married someone else just last year. I’m still confused about it, but accepting.

  3. Love the way that you embrace everyone and whatever their situation. You see the warmth, the calling, the need for help; the humanity.

  4. Fire Crab, I don’t know if this is the case for everyone, but for some of us, I know it is the case

    Like the gal I met in the hospital the last time I was there. Her husband of 64 years died in February. She said she was full of cancer, and had 3 months to live. Could not wait to be with her husband…his picture was sitting on her hospital tray.

    As for this kid – I am sure, and so is he and so is she, for that matter.

  5. Thanks Elsa, I wonder if they realise how lucky they are..but with a Saggy Moon at 22 yes thats a huge deal.

    I’m sure there must be strong Saturn connections in there for “A One”

    I wonder that even if there is “A One” is it fated they meet, stay together etc, and if you lost your One, then what…

  6. I got struck at 22 as well. natal moon 23 deg, neptune 24 deg in Saggitarius, both squaring saturn and jupiter in libra. not sure if this is relevant but everytime I read about Sagg moons and relationships, it peaks my interest. My experience was draining, and just like you described. It was a recipe for co-dependency. expectations were too high, flash pan dreams just unrealistic. all the way I’m 32 now. Don’t think it was the one, but awfully close. We don’t speak since it would just lead to the same cycle again…. thanks for posting this!

  7. I was just thinking about this today! I
    married my husband for love..knew thhe minute I met him…but he is cancer ,stellium in 12th house and me pisces,stellium in 9th house..he said , not long after i met him that I was not who he thought i was( veil lifted?).but still interested..for me the veil didnt lift until 10 years and 4 kids later…but we both have venus in taurus and we have responsibility to each other and family..but today I cried because we dont have a lot and were poor when we married whereas my brothers and sisters and friends have money and not the problems we endure daily..i was thinking should I have married for money since love doesnt always last?

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    Most certainly!!!!!!!!!!!
    I have been with my man now since i were just 18 years of age, & he was just 22!!! We knew each other through out high school. I will be 28 in june, my sweetheart just turned 31, & we will be finally getting married at the end of this year..maybe even earlier if we can help it!!!!!!!

    Tell that young man i said hang in there, its seriously worth it!! from one Saturn in Scorpio to another 😉

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    Yes. The sheer intensity of our feelings freaked him out, he bailed.

    I had transiting Pluto conjunct my Moon at the time as well as Saturn crossing my DC, perhaps the loss was inevitable. For the past while he has Saturn going over his stellium, perhaps he’s maturing. Never heard from him after he ran.

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    Is it really ‘horror’ ..or just fear of real trust, true intimacy, deep feelings, opening up to someone, devoting yourself to another..etc etc etc..

    Once these questions within yourself have been adressed..true self responsibility can be any matter what type of relationship it is, familial, friendship, partnership, & the like..

    I am currently doing my ba in this is just my opinion based on my education & personal beliefs.

    but like the saying goes..”opinions are like assholes..everyone has got one”

    Lol.. 🙂

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    @Renee, Spot on !!!! 🙂

    which brings me to a very famous qoute…becouse life is full of uncertanties..

    ” The ony thing we have to fear…is FEAR itself”
    – Franklin D Roosevelt

  12. Sadly it feels comforting to read some of the comments above. I met someone, my One. I guess he didn’t think I was his wine because he left me. To read the comments and know that it happens to lots of people – to lose the person.

  13. Oh, yes indeed.

    I have known The Horror and the bittersweetness of the Thunderbolt… the stark Horror that you are both committed to others and the feelings can not bloom or see light, the sweet mutual rareness & recognition of the Thunderbolt and bitter that the timing was so wrong.
    But still there is no denying that Thunderbolt is there.

  14. Soavissima & SaturnRxScorpio1985 ~ well said. I had a reading from Elsa a couple of weeks ago and in plain stark reality I have lived that Saturn sq. Venus and Sun. I know how fearful I have always been of intimacy. However~ right before I met this man I decided I would take chances. He was THE LightningBolt. My first foray out into the world of true heart. There was no question, I had no choice, I had to acknowledge the call and I was TERRIFIED and so was he. It was awful. He had a girlfriend and ended up marrying her. I thought how? how could he end up marrying her when this just happened no matter how scared we are? It fucked me up, HARD! Now I have some perspective; it only took me 2 years. 🙂 Vulnerability, true vulnerability is hard especially when you both know from first eye contact that you’re toast. It’s fucking terrifying. But worse is NOT taking that chance, that’s even more terrifying. What if it doesn’t come again? He’s Saturn sq. venus and moon. Oh and even though it gutted me, I’m going back in the arena because I know if God/Universe wanted me to be with him…I would/will be. It’s been torture to get to this understanding.

  15. An idea that I’ve been toying with is that there are sometimes more than one “Ones” in a person’s lifetime. When I was in high school I met a guy and fell so head over heels hard for him he was the only thing I could talk about. We had a friendship and connection like no other, it was just something I felt in every ounce of my body. I begged him to go out with me but he always turned me down. We lost contact for a year but continuously searched for one another until randomly bumping into each other. We got into a relationship after that and it was the most magical and wonderful relationship ever BUT it ended four and a half years later. We, more so I, was to young and immature (19 when we got together) for such a serious, long term relationship and screwed it up. We’ve been apart for a little over a year now but have managed to salvage somewhat of a friendship. There’s something there in me that I can feel that says he’s the one still but he probably doesn’t think that about me anymore. He may have just been the “One” that had to teach me some important lessons for the next “One” that’s out there somewhere… hopefully.

  16. As a Sun Moon Merc in Scorpio person with a Leo rising….I need that Thunderbolt Zapping DRAMA!
    I feel alive and vibrant & have tried to remain friends with those few Zappees!

    Falling in Love is wonderful but living with the Lover can be hard. So many elements have to be in place for a Thunderbolt love to endure but I know it can be done…if U grow up at the same pace.

  17. See, but,’s not a Zappee. It’s just like Elsa said…yer fuckin’ toast! Bam! It’s not falling… it’s you’re standing there minding your own business and you’re struck, you are crispity, crunchy toast.

  18. Am I the only person who fell in love with the wrong people, attributed all sorts of heroic qualities to them, and later wondered if I should have my head examined? It sure felt like the real thing at the time and in retrospect — oy. I’m beginning to think I’m the only person here who experienced ‘falling in love’, especially when I was young, as a neurotic delusion.

  19. @Oakmoss..Sweetpea this is my assessment…(Virgo in the house)love is love. It is messy and incorigable. No matter how it comes about there is no rhyme or reason. Personally, it has taken me to the brink of insanity but I will engage because it’s worth it. I’ve done the “attribute” thing… it’s tough when you experience the non-attribute thing, the lightning bolt and it still doesnt work out. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that love, real love is a living breathing entity,it flows and morphs, and there is no controlling it. It always exists.

  20. @Elizabethe, That was such a kind response, thank you! I try not to feel like a jerk, ’tis better to have loved and wondered what the hell happened, than never to have loved at all.

  21. Good analogy Elsa; I wouldn’t have believed that supernaturally intense love existed until a megaton lightning strike went through me when I held her. It’s the greatest thing that ever happened to you, and it can completely wreck your life if you don’t get some control.

  22. @Oakmoss…yeh, you cant do love and worry about feeling like a jerk. Pretty much its all the same territory. Vulnerability. Ohh..vulnernability rocks my world.

  23. Yes, I’ve been in love like that, and it happened when I was 22 as well. We first met when I was 19, although that night my attention was on a different man, and the only thing I remember about him that night was a very brief conversation and a bit of dancing together.

    When we met the second time, it was due to my friend’s date wanting to be alone with her, and he decided to tell Mr. Aries that I’d expressed interest in him (I hadn’t, and he was at the bar with a group of his friends, none of which I knew). He told the same thing to me about Mr. Aries. Mr. Aries and I compared stories, and realized what had happened, and spent the whole night sitting together and talking over coffee.

    We never dated, but this was due to my own screwup early on, and all that ever happened between us was that he would drive me home occasionally after a night of talking and some making out. I don’t think either one of us was at all ready for a serious relationship and he was pursuing other girls almost the entire time I knew him.

    The best way I can put it is that I felt my best self with him, it just felt incredibly right to me, and while he expressed the same feelings verbally, it wasn’t backed up by his actions.

    We haven’t spoken in 30 years, but recently I found his picture on a dating site I belong to; he was widowed three years ago and is now searching for another relationship. He and I both have Venus-Saturn squares in cardinal signs, and although it’s tempting to reach out, I won’t (but would be open if he decided to contact me).

  24. @sharonlynn~ are you feeling it? what i mean is…are you only feeling the fear of rejection again? I ask myself this all the time…if he circles back round again, what would I do? 10 years? 20? 30? I know how this man feels about me…if you know the same, don’t be chicken. You already had your heart broken once. And if it was really broken, it can’t ever happen again. It’s then pride and fear your dealing with.

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