Venus Inconjunct Pluto – Corpses In Denial

corpseVenus Pluto relates to what I call “corpses”. These are people and things, dead in your life, that come back to haunt. (Search “step away from the corpse” on this blog).

Under the inconjunct, I’ve noticed people showing up with a story; their view of what transpired between the two of you. Hard to say if the person believes it, deeply, but when you live with the story for years and  even decades in some cases, it tends to harden off as “real”.  Then the person shows up, thinking you have the same view they have. This is ridiculous.

Not only are people going to make their own judgements and form their own opinions, it’s possible they’ve not thought of you at all.  But what kills me is the people who mistreat a person, often in ways that are egregious. Then they show up, ready to go again and you’re like, whaaaaaaaaat?

I guess all our memories are selective.  But I just don’t understand burning a bridge, then trying to walk across it ten years later.

Here’s another thing to consider…

When you’ve been gone from a person’s life for five or ten or twenty years, it’s obvious they can live without you. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you might have meant to them at one time. It doesn’t matter how devastated they might have been, way back when. The person survived and perhaps went on the thrive, so who are you to them now?

I realized this when my husband and I (who met as teens) got back together after being separated for more than 20 years. The only reason we were able to do this, is we did each other no harm when we were kids.

Well, we broke each other’s hearts, but it was due to stupidity and immaturity. We didn’t act with malice, to try to destroy the other person.  So maybe this is a cautionary tale.

If you’re going to get you’re knife, stick someone with it, twist it, viciously, then don’t be stupid enough to think they’re going to forget who you are and what you’re capable of and be glad to see you, down the road.

Familiar story anyone?

25 thoughts on “Venus Inconjunct Pluto – Corpses In Denial”

  1. Not a single corpse yet, which is highly unusual. Especially given that Venus/Mars are angular and in aspect to everything in my chart right now. ? Buuuut, I’ve spent a lot of time really burning and reburning and even burning of the ashes of those bridges so maybe they’ve all drowned in the water instead. ?

    1. The person that raped me two years ago, came back during this transit and tried to come back into my life using manipulative means and blaming it on other factors of what had supposedly happened between us. I know this is wrong but after he raped me I became attached and we did begin a relationship but through the course of the relationship he cheated on me with several women, gave me a long term STI, humiliated me, lied to me and used me then disappeared, untill one night this transit happened and he came back. My advice is… let the corpse go.

      Your life saver.

  2. I went white reading this. Because I guess I’m the corpse. I never did anything BAD to the other but I disappeared. It was just too painful to find myself growing more and more attached to someone in an obsessive way. I was afraid. Plus, I thought I was doing it for the both of our sakes as well.

    Funny thing is; I’m still consumed but now I’ve been cast out.

    This is extremely painful.

    Wow–I think I just got the astrology of it–the inconjunct means the other person doesn’t see/recognize the other any more. Holy crap. I think as a Venus/Pluto native this is the worst possible end-result.

    Thanks for the straight up truth Elsa.

  3. Wow, this article made me realize that I’m that corpse!!! I found out that after I left my parents house, my at the time lover went to my parents to ask my hand in matrimony. I was gone, gone to marry someone else. I broke his heart. My father told me about this after I married that someone else. Now a decade later I feel the need to apologize, I didn’t know he was going to ask my parents for my hand. He remembers a lot of details of us and that’s sweet. But I can’t help but to feel horrible.

    1. I am prone to think it is the intent. Intentional harm. Sometimes it’s just circumstance, not intentional harm to someone else. The trick for me was learning not to take it personally. People will do what they do. I don’t want to hold them up or stop them from manifesting. So give yourself a break.

  4. Yes, familiar..the great thing about it is: when these fools show back up, you get all the power back. I had someone almost ruin me once, and 5 years later came back and told me I was the greatest thing that ever happened to him and how it would be a miracle from God if I gave him another chance. Not on your life, sucka! Eat your heart out, I am everything you wished you had.

      1. Since reading this blog piece, I think that is the good thing about venus retro, when the crap comes back or up or whatever, I can just say no. It’s a chance to get it right. Put it bed so to speak.

  5. On the flip side, the other person can live without the other one as well. It goes both ways.

    The one thing that pisses me off to no end is that I had outrageous transits for a relationship at the time of the crime, if you will. Progressions that will never happen again. And I feel they were wasted through no fault of my own. Then Saturn got into the picture in my 4th house and so forget about meeting anybody then.

    Where the fuck is MY freewill?

    I haven’t met anybody meaningful since then, even though I’ve tried.

    You have no idea how much that pisses me off.

    1. You’re thinking about it too hard. Step back and feel it instead. Plus, a funny thing too. Amazing, incredible things can happen without a hint of it in the charts and sometimes during the very worst of transits. How’s that for free will? Plus, if you have Aquarius on the descendant (like me!), your relationships will never adhere to any rhyme or reason, even if it’s outlined in the stars. It will be a surprise par excellence, thanks to Uranus. ?

      1. Thank you for your kind words. I also have an Aqua descendant. haha I look forward to some surprises then.
        Thanks again.

  6. I don’t have much experience with this on either end. I’ve reconciled with people before, but it certainly wasn’t with the assumption that everything was automatically peachy-keen, quite the opposite in fact, and it becomes a pleasant surprise when they want to reconnect too.

    Though, I can think of one person who hurt me and then showed up years later seemingly with the assumption that everything was fine, and I sorta played along but wasn’t really invested in it since I’d moved on at that point. However, he eventually brought up his past behavior and asked for my forgiveness. I gave it to him. I’m always happy to forgive people who actually apologize to me about something from long ago…it’s an incredibly rare thing in my life. We’re not in touch today but I was impressed that he owned up.

  7. I do think this transit has transformative potential for both, that you are ‘brought’ together gives you a chance to assess whether there’s something to be learned from the opportunity to be together. The point is not to repeat the transformation in the same way – especially if there was nuclear fallout on both sides. If time has elasped then you may well have developed more inner strength and appropriate defences. If so then the transformative process has a chance to be taken to a higher and deeper level. I’m at this place right now, I have the chance to transform myself (higher and deeper)but I’m not playing to the old tricks or same plots as in the past, I’ve got a new set of rules, defences and back up support, so for both of us involved there’s a chance of overcoming previous shortfalls and transforming ourselves into doing something useful.I think (despite the history) that it’s worth giving it a try.

  8. Avatar
    Just Speculating

    Sure, some people are the same after ten years but others really do change…it’s possible to learn from our mistakes. Doesn’t have to be bad news. Maybe they come back into your life because whatever it was hadn’t been resolved? I dunno. Isn’t that the nature of karma?

  9. I saw a former friend – who chopped me out of her life as she has done many times before (me, & others) passing at the next street. She’s angry – doesn’t understand how frquently, nor the range of triggers – at me. I remind her of her mother, but, I’m a pale, inadequate copy of that lady : i.e. I am *not*, actually, her mom.

  10. When a person walks away there is a hole that the universe fills with someone or something else. There is no longer the same space available when they decide to revisit. Still forgiveness is good all the way around. I have had a few walk in and out. I appreciate an apology but have moved on and filled the space with something/someone else.

    One traveled miles to visit. I did appreciate the thought and the heartfelt apology. There was nothing else I could do with it but I did acknowledge the effort and also realize that it takes two…. it very rare that one person is just running around stabbing people out of the blue.

    My ex (kids dad)(different person than above)is civil and so am I. I don’t want to throw love at him but I am not going to stomp him either. It was what it was. Time passes, you move on. Learn the lesson. Doesn’t mean I wont speak to him at a wedding or happily share family as there are other people to consider than just myself and how I feel.

    Staying angry, denying forgiveness just hurts you, they usually don’t know or care.

    I read something about hate one time…. it went something like…. don’t bother to hate, half of the people don’t care if you hate them and the other half haven’t noticed. So, I guess you could apply this to any ex/old relationship or corpse. They either don’t care, or don’t know. ???

    You also have to consider how one person will feel pain/hurt compared to another. What deeply hurts one person may just momentarily piss another off. One will carry the pain like a torch while the other quickly forgets and moves on not realizing they hurt so someone deeply. That old saying …..the axe forgets the tree remembers ….

    I hadn’t seen nor heard from this person (first ex) in 30 years. He looked the same but after 30 years I give him the benefit of the doubt …. he has matured and grown in ways I have not been around to see. Doesn’t mean I want this person in any way but I applaud the notion that he has matured and become a better person than he was in his 20’s. I can see proof of this in the way he is with his children. He remembers so many details of what was happening back then…all the way down to food choices that I have no memory of. So, if he remembers so many tiny details that I didn’t even think of back then, he must have thought about it over the years.

    I’ve learned to consider ego, communication and understanding. (mine, theirs) looking back now I am not sure anyone was trying to viciously twist a knife in me…there was a lesson I needed to learn and there was a person that needed to come along and stay in my life long enough so that I learned it. When I line it up like that there is no reason to be angry or think I should avoid them for eternity. Usually a disconnect between two people is painful for both parties if there was any love or intimacy involved.

    I am certain I have caused pain and as much as has been caused me. If you can find the lesson in it and it changes you then its worth it in the end. And I also believe people learn from their mistakes. That’s what mistakes are for. How many people do we know that are still pining for the one that got away? When you are young you are sometimes reckless with love. You think that there are endless opportunities to meet or find another ‘right person’. Maturity helps us tell the difference between infatuation and love. For me, I have come to the conclusion that love is a decision. You decide you are going to do it with conviction and commitment which is not what the younger me was able to do….nor were the men I met back then. I was no better at it than they were.

    It took a long time for me to be able to forgive my children’s father. I didn’t know how I was going to stand in a room with him at a function. Getting past it has been so freeing. I try to remember when he did the things he did he was in his 20’s and early 30’s. He is 57 today and is nothing like his former self.

  11. Avatar
    10,000 daydreams

    Elsa, may I ask you to clarify your post please? In paragraph 9 you wrote “we did act with malice…” did you mean “we DIDN’T act with malice” or does the sentence stand as it is written?

    Oh and I must disagree with you slightly 🙂 In my opinion, just because someone has gone on without you, does not mean they have gone on ‘well’. People can improve in life, but they can also worsen. And they can also suffer.

    Like a limb that’s been lost. You may walk again, but its will never the same.

    1. Sorry, that was a typo. We didn’t act with malice. We just failed to marry each other…stubbornly, I guess you could say. Though that’s a bit simplistic. 🙂

  12. ‘But I just don’t understand burning a bridge, then trying to walk across it ten years later.’ I have been chuckling about this since I read it. Only because it is so ridiculous to me. I’ve come to understand that that is just the way some people conduct themselves, how they do business. Clueless. They live in a different world.

    This whole venus retro or venus pluto or whatever this energy is has been like a backed up toilet. I am really surprised at the crap that has come up. I am not inclined to make up any stories about it because I don’t feel anything about it. It’s just stench that I am letting go.

    I don’t seem to be able to focus on the past. You know like somebody who wants to know about the past, where I’ve been what I’ve done. It gets to be a heck of a long story at my age. Who knows. What they see is what they get. I am wondering if that’s me or if it is the energy at play at this time. Very present and future oriented. The past doesn’t seem to matter to me. Boring. Been there, done that. It wasn’t boring at the time, but it is boring and irrelevant to me now. Today is much more fun.

  13. Sometimes it’s alright to see a rotten corpse pop back up, just so things can be laid to rest for good. Myself, I’m laying low. Love the picture!!

  14. When a corpse reappears, you need to put it to rest. Dig a new hole and burry the remains. Be left with the understanding, the memory, do a clean slate. You can also forgive= leave a flower or a note, just don’t let that bastard in the sun, that’s not a nice view nor a nice smell. Venus in taurus opposite pluto in scorpio.

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