Venus Opposite Saturn – It’s Not Just About Loneliness & Lack Of Love

venus and mars and cupid Giovanni Francesco BarbieriIt pains me that people with Venus opposite Saturn think this aspect is all about loneliness and lack of love. If this is what you think, you’re missing the boat.

I’m pulling this post up after talking to a client with Venus in Capricorn this morning. She feels unworthy – I’d like to see her flip that script. This is from 2015.

I was fighting with my husband yesterday. We do this from time to time. We’re hot tempered. We’re under stress that’s been sustained. But even setting that aside, if you decide to poke or provoke either one of us, when we’re not in the mood to be provoked, you might get a bad reaction.

So we had this big fight and something remarkable came out of it. I had the solid realization that only way – the only way – that we could pull off what we’re trying to do it together.

That doesn’t sound like much, but let me explain. My husband is a retired Green Beret.  He hates to work with women. I don’t care what you think about that. He is the way he is and I’m telling you, he would rather not work with women.

“You can’t do this without me,” I said, “You will fail. You will absolutely fail on your mission without the feminine qualities that I possess and you do not.  You don’t have them. You can’t get them and you can’t succeed without them – you have absolutely no chance at all…”

Specifically I was talking about my feminine intuition, my consideration and care for the emotional comfort of others.

So what he have here is a master of tactics and goal setting…but only a woman can get through the minefield and secure the key that opens the box that holds the prize. This is VENUS SATURN. It’s real love, a real, supportive partnership, love that humbles a person (both of us) so they can learn.  Work together, yes?

I don’t think there is an astrologer on this planet that knows more about Venus Saturn than I do.  If you want to learn more, check out my workshop – How To Find Your True Love And Soulmate.

What do you know about real love?

39 thoughts on “Venus Opposite Saturn – It’s Not Just About Loneliness & Lack Of Love”

  1. So, it’s more about the depth of the partnership? The need to come together, as the whole is more powerful & capable than the two separate entities & recognizing that fact? Makes sense…

  2. It was striking. Because in my husband’s world, failing is to be avoided and any and all costs. And I was able to tell him *exactly* what his limit would be…how and why he would fail, if he did not access my specific skills.

  3. I appreciate the post. I have this opposition natally. Venus Gemini/Saturn Sagittarius. I’ve heard that this aspect can also mean lasting love isn’t found until later in life, among other things.

    I’m not lonely. I don’t consider there to be a lack of love in my life. I haven’t found a lifelong partner, but I’m a commitment phobe. I’m saying I take responsibility for this.

    I’ve been married twice. 1st ended in divorce. 2nd husband had a massive heart attack at 39. There were 15 years between #1 and #2. When I married, it was fairly spontaneous, go to the judge and get it done, so our lives can settle. I’m not a planned out, long engagement kind of woman. I’ll wind up balking like a wild horse with a noose around my neck. I’ll think of every bad scenario and freeze out. But, when I make a commitment to one person, I make the commitment. Though my Moon/Venus sit in Gemini I believe in only being bound to one man at a time. It’s just if you want me long term, you’ve got to grab me. Don’t ask me for a long lead-up/fancy shmancy parade of fashion, or a bunch of games as prelude to a lifetime –

    I’m headed for my 2nd Saturn return. I don’t have time to go around looking for men. I live in a sparsely populated area where I know everybody, their parents and children. Let’s suffice it to say internet dating didn’t go well for me. Overall I’m happy and pleased with my life. God has been good to me. I’m very thankful and grateful.

    Anyway, this was a refreshing take on Venus/Saturn. Thank you!

  4. Sorry, that was an all about me post 🙁 I think I needed to get that off my mind for some reason. Thank you again for writing about Venus/Saturn 🙂

  5. I have a client friend, ( due to the personal nature of my work I sometimes feel friendly toward them especially if I have known them a few years) and he has this aspect in his chart. I almost have it.

    I was looking at his chart and trying to explain this aspect to him. He is like me, older never married and single but interested in the opposite sex. He stated he was not struggling with loneliness. I realize now what you mean, Elsa. In our work relationship, we have argued when I wasn’t in the mood for dealing with him and he stormed off in a fit. I figured I wouldn’t see him again, but after a few months he came back around. Then I gave him more of the mothering type of attention he seemed to enjoy, and I happily got his business back and felt grateful about it. We discovered our yin and yang and that we both made a good team for working together!

  6. I have this aspect natally, plus Saturn in 7 smack dab on the DC. What I know about real love is that I haven’t had it (not with the romantic component, anyway). I also have learned you can’t get it by hedging your bets. You have to be all in. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make a wise choice. I’ve never found the middle ground between getting hit by the thunderbolt and settling. I hope I have another shot. I’m 46.

  7. “What do you know about real love?”
    I thought I knew EVERYTHING (Libra, right?), only to end up realizing I absolutely had no idea about Love, real Love, questioning myself and starting to learn from scratch, again. And yes… real Love takes work, cooperation, commitment, strong will, sometimes (a lot of times) selflessness. The Neptunian pining alone, doesn’t take you far if you have two humans with their good sides and their flaws, who try to build something together, day by day… I wish I knew this earlier.

  8. Im still not 100% over the last person I was involved with that had Moon Saturn opposite Venus .. it was painful.. So hopefully one day Ill appreciate Venus Saturn. I understand the good in it but my burn still is healing

  9. I have this aspect in natal chart, too. There’s definite lack of romantic love. 15 years of lack. I had real love for few years, but nothing since then. I’m 39, and I’m worried now.

  10. Hi Ema, I’m on 10 years and no end in sight. I’m 46. It does worry me. Everybody says live in the moment, don’t lose faith, blah blah blah, but it’s easier said than done…

    1. i’m also venus capricorn and i dont have this feeling of being unloved, ever. but people have been cruel to me and toxic and put me down. And venus capricorn isn’t in detriment like moon capricorn is, or venus scorpio or aries, and it’s not in the ” fall” like venus virgo; so i dont get it. thus the confusion. However i always feel unworthy in other areas, but i think thats due to being born a poor household.

      1. oh sorry my venus is not opposite saturn. great analogy about feminine/masculine melding qualites though. it is a wonderful fit, where pieces are missing and need to complement eachother ^^

  11. I really appreciate this post. Good to hear people spearheading (and defending) the importance of combining those different dynamics. Sea change in progress.

  12. I’ll tell you what I know
    It’s the rain that makes the grass grow
    It’s the season that makes the clouds snow
    Its the cycle, it’s the earth, it’s the sound, it’s the firsts
    It’s what you see, and what you don’t
    It’s who you love, and why you miss
    It’s everything, and for nihilists it’s nothing
    For philosophers, it’s a subject
    For scientists, it’s a neurotransmitter
    For the poor, it’s wealth
    For the rich, it’s health
    For the kind, it’s transcendence
    For the mean, it’s nonexistence
    To the satanist it’s good
    To the christian it’s good
    To the christian it’s God
    To the conman, it’s to be robbed
    It’s the knowing straight away, I want to know you forever
    It’s the light, the energy, the strength, the momentum
    It’s the hope, the wish, the fight, the intent
    It’s the joining of two, commitment
    It’s the compromise of a few, democracy
    It’s the middle ground and polar opposites
    It’s words to the english scholar
    It’s numbers to the mathematician
    It’s code to the PC
    It’s air to the lungs that breathe
    She’s the apple of my eye
    Love is the bouquet of my feast
    Only the loveliest life is the feast

    A wise man told me, there could never be peace
    Maybe he wasn’t wise at all

  13. Kali, you’re right, it’s hard to keep the faith. so many times I got my hopes up, and it turns out to be nothing . so now I’m trying not to hope much, and that’s not good either.

  14. We are on the same wavelength Ema…and as time goes by, so much time, it becomes “normal”. And seems less likely to change. The other thing that starts happening is that men who are my age generally are looking for women ten years younger than me, which is discouraging to say the least. I’m 46, I’ve been through a lot, and no matter how hard I try to keep myself up, it shows. So it doesn’t seem that pessimistic to think that nobody will ever love me again. In fact it seems realistic. Sad.

    I’ll hold out hope for you, if you hold out hope for me 🙂

  15. Venus in Libra here. Was rather into my freedom and journey (Sag), & in part I had to (Virgo duty to needy family). Along the way. I found wonderful amazing love twice. Unexpectedly both times, never looking, the lightning bolt that you hear about. Absorbed by other things, I even found love a third time, also the eerie chimes-in-head boom connection, and t’s different as it morphs as a new experience. Looking at all men’s charts, I am dumbfounded by the clear connections and stunning synastry.

    So, I think love is real thing, a strange fortunate magical thing. Shared goals, love of dark chocolate & music, & that spooky amazing something more. Being spooky and magic, it arrives when it arrives.

    I have friends who found the loves of their lives at 17, 25, at 47, 60. Age? Pfffft. It happens when it happens, in its time. Don’t be limp. Grab it. In fact::

    An elegant powerful Dutch-born VP in her sixties told us the story of her love w her fascinating and strong man, while we all worked late one night. Two women with us sighed: “You are so lucky…..”

    She said sharply, “No, I just chose to pay as much attention to my heart and senses and the sky and the sea as others may pay to paint chips, choice of shellfish, new shoes or car loan. You’re here to live, take your chances and fall and stand up and love, even if the ads imply you we are simply born to purchase insurance policies and better freezers. Pick the apples, don’t analyze them or place them third. Don’t make excuses. Don’t tell me there’s no hope. You’d be fired for that attitude at any company, and you should be fired for that attitude in your Life. I am telling you — just get out there, push yourself off the chair. Life may send you the man with your goals. Or the man for the most important three hours of your life. Be happy and enjoy it! Don’t assume what it should be or look like. Most people don’t even know what I’m saying until it’s too late. So I am telling you now.”

  16. Thats a great explanation of a positive way to deal with that aspect, Elsa. I don’t have that aspect natally, but judging from everyone’s posts, it seems like a difficult aspect to come to terms with if you have it natally. I’ve always looked at the aspect as having a more practical approach to love, rather than a lack of love. Also, maybe there are a lot of responsibilities connected with your relationships.

    Here’s what I know about love. I’ve been with my husband for almost 40 years now. Time has changed our relationship from the young love we had in our 20’s to an enduring love in our 60’s. We’ve had our share of trials over the years, but found a way to work them out. I think that is the key to long-lasting love. No matter who you choose to spend your life with, you’ll be faced with trials that test your relationship. If you hang in there and work through them, it strengthens your relationship. I’m not saying its easy and sometimes it isn’t pretty, but if you’re willing to be flexible and stay at it instead of throwing in the towel, you can develop a very strong bond that is unbreakable.

    Real love is hard earned, but worth the effort, looking back over my life. We’ve both changed over the years, but we’re still in love and have learned to tolerate, and even appreciate, our differences. Sometimes its a source of real humor and we laugh about it. Its funny that years ago so many problems seemed BIG and today, we both laugh at those times.

    On all of our big decisions, we debate, negotiate, fight, you name it and then we come to a decision and each of us will handle some aspect of it. One thing you can’t ever expect is getting 100% of what you want in the outcome. Win some, lose some.

  17. Your positive outlook on venus/saturn aspects makes me feel so much better. In June Saturn is going to Square my Venus for a few months while my boyfriend studies abroad and I can’t tell you how worried that makes me. I just always assumed the worst, but this helps me think that yes it’ll be hard, but maybe the distance will humble us and make us grow stronger as a couple.

    1. When my husband and I were dating, he decided to move to FL and start a business with his friend. He was there for a year or so and I visited a couple of times, but the long distance was a strain on our relationship. The business ended up going bust and he moved back home and after that we got an apartment and moved in together.

  18. If you ask me your going to think I’m crazy and quite unloved. I haven’t had a relationship in all my youth and that’s mainly because I suffer from mental illness and had my fair share of troubled youth. But luckily I suffice thanks to my asexuality. And I feel an out of the ordinary attraction that is mutual to someone that has passed. That’s the crazy part. I don’t check people out like normal people do , I just observe what they are doing. Its odd. But when I think of this special person whose done little miracles for me after her death its totally different. I feel real love. It feels transcendent at times. I don’t need anyone I tell myself. And I have my family so that smothers things out. I don’t know how long this will last, but I know my kind could use help. I just don’t think I am a sexual, attractive, free-spirited, romantic person even though my 5th house stellium would sell you otherwise.

  19. Venus conjunct Mars in the 8th house is my natal placement. I have been married only once and have been with my husband for thirty years. When I think about my life and all that I have tried to be and accomplish, I see a great many failures. I feel that my marriage is my one true success in life. I take care of him, he takes care of me and we both put each other first. There is no room for selfish behavior in a lasting partnership. We make each other better, together. I liked your story Elsa.What you are saying makes a great deal of sense.Men and women have distinctly skillsets. They are both valuable alone but together towards an objective, the result is much more likely to result in a successful outcome. That is no accident, it is the way it should be. You are seeing the whole picture not just the parts.That takes vision.

  20. Avatar
    Southern Cross

    Ha! Ha! Your explanation was both tactical and brilliant, Elsa, which I’m sure the Soldier will appreciate.

    I have Venus conjunct Saturn in the 7th house, and I’m very happily in love. My OH and me work as a team; he has Libra rising.

  21. Sure, the responsibility is shared and the love bond is deepened if BOTH individuals WANT to make it work, but if the Venus squ Saturn person is doing ALL the burdensome emotional relationship work and the other person just doesn’t want to work hard and would rather be with someone where it isn’t such hard work because the circumstances are just overwhelming & difficult, then the Venus squ Saturn person either feels alone in a one-sided love relationship or gets dumped and ends up being alone regardless. It is a shifty placement esp when Saturn is in Aries in the 7H. No two ways of going about it. It sucks.

  22. “What do you know about real love?”
    Much more than I did several years ago, that’s for certain! The integrity of both individuals involved is paramount. And “integrity” can’t be a word that’s just thrown around; you have to understand what it looks like in real life!

    The Venus-Saturn workshop is, seriously, fantastic. I urge anyone struggling with this energy to get the transcript if they can.

  23. Been crying for the past two days. Pluto nadir, Uranus DESC and this Venus Saturn thing will do that. It feels like a huge dose of reality and it’s all too much.

    1. Hang in there, Desert Jewel. I’ve been having a horrible time, as well. The onset of spring (equinox) and Aries season Sun sign is ALWAYS hell for me (Saturn in Aries). All I can say is there are ONLY 5 more days till the Sun is in Taurus and 5 more years till Uranus is in Taurus. I don’t know HOW I will survive these next five years being in the T-square crosshairs with Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Capricorn (my Sun is in Cancer, Libra asc). But Pluto won’t be as bad of a lashing since it’ll eventually trine my natal Pluto in Virgo and Uranus in Virgo, but the real nightmare culprit behind the absolute chaos and mayhem (in my personal life) is Uranus in Aries. I absolutely loathe this transit!

  24. Thanks Eva. Well I was wondering when the harsh reality of Uranus/DESC and Pluto/Nadir was going to hit. It has. Until now, I’ve had a pretty easy time of it. The worst part is knowing that not only will Pluto Rx back over my natal Nadir but reside in my natal 4th house for pretty much the remainder of my life. It will oppose Uranus in Cancer and will go on to square all my Libra and Aries planets too. Sh–!

    And speaking of sh–, I’ve had elimination and digestion issues, ugly old memories coming back to haunt, plumbing issues in the house (A/C and the bathroom). I could go on but you get the picture. 🙂

    1. I know the feeling, Desert Jewel. You must be a Libra rising, too. I have the same long transits in the same houses. I have been homeless these last couple years, crippling unemployed/underemployed (with 2 degrees & 2 certificates), single (lost the love of my life during this awful transit in 2012/2013) and I feel like these Pluto/Uranus transits will remain till I die. I have never had the luxury to have a husband, own a home nor have children of my own. Life is pretty grim. I didn’t sign up to lead a monastery destitute existence. I’m a burden to friends and family including my old retired parents. And I’m not old yet; nearly 47. What gives? Why do I feel like my life is over having been brutally destroyed by everything that I loved and held so dear including having basic shelter like a roof over my head.

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    I don’t know what real love is, but I know what it isn’t: something that takes pleasure in your destruction.

  26. Anyone able to comment on Venus in Capricorn square Saturn? I am thinking that this is different than Venus in Capricorn opposition Saturn that is the point of this article?

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