This is a difficult topic for me to write about. I don’t really understand it so I’m going to try to put this out here in the hopes someone can shed some light on this.
The other challenge is that this type behavior is easy to project and hard (for me) to define. I’m talking about a narrow band of people here, but depending on a person’s perception, you can accuse almost anyone of this. I guess it’s up the the reader to be discerning.
This kind of person acts against another in a way that is egregious. I am not talking about perceived insensitivity between two people or miscommunication. I’m talking about a person who truly launches a vicious attack against another and then pretends (to themselves or others) that they’ve done nothing wrong. They may actually be convinced of this, I don’t know.
I was talking to satori about this yesterday and she ties it to narcissism. satori knows a lot more about narcissism than I do. She’s studied it in depth. I tend to give credence to whatever she says on this topic, but I did not leave the conversation with the understanding I’m looking for so I’m posting this.
It’s worth noting that satori herself, once launched a vicious attack against someone; her Scorpio Mars was unleashed. She may or may not have been justified but what she did not do is pretend to be innocent or inert, innocent, impotent, after the fact and I respect her for that.
In an attempt to be clear here, let me give you a hypothetical example. Let’s say a man beats his wife. He clearly beats her and when she finally manages to leave him, he presents himself as confused as to why this happened.
What is it? What do you know about it? Can you add the astrology?
i think its a pathology. i lived with it for almost 20 years. since i left, his behavior has gotten worse and he actually thinks its everyone else that is in the wrong(and not just worse with me, but with his children and work mates too). he believes his garbage. there is no finding a middle ground or reason with that type of person. they are so delusional in their world that everyone and everything that doesnt agree, is the horrible/wrong/sick/rude/awful person. i am now in the process of a restraining order from this person. he actually believes his behavior is ok because i ‘deserve’ it because i left him. its simply sick.
I’ll give an example of what I think this means.
I’m texting my sister Scorp rising/Sag sun/ Scorp moon.
Me: Wanna chat with me in five minutes?
–three hours later–
Sister: I’m about to leave for that baby shower I told you about.
This to me would be an example of what you mentioned, Elsa. It’s narcissism, in my opinion.
I read it as, “ugh, I don’t want to talk right now. Let me send her a text just before I leave, that way I’m not lying. I’ll answer her, so she can’t say I ignored the text. She can deal with her own feelings, I’ve said my piece.”
If I get mad, she can always claim she “told me” even if it was three hours later.
I’ll look crazy if I react. So I don’t react.
I know one person like that and yeah…narcissistic is definitely an apt word to describe her. In her case, I think she was completely aware of what she was doing. She’s simply mean-spirited while putting up front the motherly-caring-loving-gentle Cancer AC. So when people called on her behavior that image was threatened and she successfully played the victim/innocent card.
She once lied to me that a colleague was acting inappropriately with her and went off to complain to a higher authority, just because the colleague didn’t agree with her on a minor thing.If someone called BS on her I bet she would’ve convinced everyone she was telling the truth with her eloquent and dramatic act.
Two different scenarios in my life touch on this unleashing, ‘cruel to be kind’ thing. One was a long term effect, the other short term. Both men had Mars in Scorpio. Elsa, I am also going with narcissistic personality disorder. Please, I am not saying that all Mars in Scorpio are bad. I understand the energy now and now how to effectively deal with it. The long term individual still believes the abuse that was inflicted never happened.
The alternate universe.
I would think this kind of person is irresponsible in general in that sense that nothing is ever their fault. At the same time, there’s a victim mentality/sense of entitlement/denial when confronted about their act. “It’s not my fault, she did something so I had to beat her. Since it’s not my fault, wonder why she left?”
I agree there’s narcissism linked to it.
Going back to the absolute beginning and electricmind’s reference to Mars in the 12th — spot on.
I know an active alcoholic with a Scorpio moon and Mars in Pisces retrograde in the 12th. He is very intelligent (Mercury in Virgo) and charming (sun in Libra) but had a dysfunctional childhood and is afflicted with a mentality that combines “woe is me” and “who are you going to believe — me or your lying eyes?”.
He applies his considerable mental energy to justifying his screw-ups (either “It didn’t actually happen” or “OK, it happened, but it totally wasn’t my fault”) rather than to not screwing up in the first place. Sad.
this article gives alot of clarity! so awesomely described and insightful.
quote:
“Let’s say a man beats his wife. He clearly beats her and when she finally manages to leave him, he presents himself as confused as to why this happened.”
— so it’s a person who is so blind to their major faults.
i know we all have faults and failings, but this is so extreme. It’s as if his “violent act” is justified, with no empathy, it’s all about him.
I know a Leo with an unaspected sun who is like this
I should add mercury conjunct pluto opp neptune also.
I feel Oscar Pistorious can be placed into this category.. It has been astonishing to see his denials during the murder trial.. He doesn’t seem to realize the way he has destroyed Reeva and her family.. This is just one example.. I’m sure there are countless examples of domestic violence where people pretend to be innocent..
That’s a great example.
I’m reading this w Trump in the news for two years. What a lesson in narcissism, self-aggrandizement, aggression. The potential for his behavior is clearly in his chart. Hmmm…mars & Pluto in 12th and Leo, proud Leo rising, Saturn squashing Venus in Cancer, born on a lunar eclipse, ie moon hidden so he has no idea of his personal unconscious, or security need and it’s in overblown jupiter’s Sign of Sadge, & speaking of Jupiter & Neptune in Libra in 2nd. Perfect set up to be a film-flam man & see relationships as way to make money for himself. Throw in explosive Sun Uranus conjunction in the house of the boss, in his head w no empathy Gemini. He grew up w brutal father & rejecting mother. So nurture didn’t help. But, all of the above could be used to take a stand & say I’m never going to treat people like that, I’m going to work to heal my wounds and stand for children, women & elderly (11h) but no…he doesn’t do that. It’s too easy not to & calling him out makes you a target not just for tweets but all the poisonous rage he carries. Ick. But what a lesson for us all & yet about 1/3 of the people like him. Sad. Very sad.
I think it’s Neptune, 12th house or in 8 or 6 th or aspecting these houses adding to paranoia or health delusions and sense of self protection.