I have been with my partner for about 9 months. When we are together, we are very happy. We feel very much in love and enjoy each other’s company very much. The problem is his baby’s mother. He has two daughters with his ex. They were together for 9 years – the same length as my last relationship, the relationship I left to be with him.
My man has gone back to his ex one time and a week later called me crying and begging me to work things out. Begging me to forgive him. Now it seems as though it may happen again. We have been through a lot in the past 9 months, including him being arrested and losing his job and me having to have an abortion.
We were doing great until a few days ago when he finally got to see his girls and she happened to stick around and start her sobbing and complaining. I understand that he will always care for her because she gave him his two beautiful girls, but should I leave him and disconnect myself from the heartache or should I stick around and hope he doesn’t hurt me again?
He tells me he loves us both, but in very different ways. He says he wants to be with me and that he loves me, but he wants his family to be together. He’s confused and doesn’t know what to do. Part of me wants to make the decision for him and just leave and never talk to him again, but I am afraid I can’t do it. I believe we were meant to be together, but should I let him go and see what happens?
Lost And Confused
Dear Lost And Confused,
This may seem harsh but it is meant to help. First, your man is most likely going to keep doing what he’s doing. That is, he is going to continue to go between you and her and his children… and probably continue to drink as well?
What you’ve done here is a classic Virgo-in-relationship move; that is, you have picked someone to save. And that’s fine as long as they are interested in saving you back but this does not seem to be the situation in this case.
Further, I think you would do well to quit focusing on what he (or she) is doing wrong and ask yourself if it was a good idea to hop from one relationship into another without taking any time to reflect. 9 years is a long time to spend with someone and it seems that the minute you spent between relationships was probably insufficient.
I am sorry but I think you’ve made a mistake here and if I were you, I would think about cutting my losses. Saturn is in your sign, Virgo and insists you clutch it up.