What Rules “Meanness” In Astrology?

lucy yelling charlie brown peanuts cartoon“Your voice is like thunder booming across the land,” I told my husband. “You are so loud.”

“P, it is you who is scary and we both know it’s true.”

“Why do you want a woman who is scary, anyway? Why would that be?”

“Because she’s pretty and she’s nice most of the time.”

I nodded. “So what am I? Like 90% nice and 10% evil?”

“No, more than that. You’re about 97% nice and 3% evil.”

“Wow! I am embarrassed by that. I don’t want to be that nice. I think I better yell a lot more than I do.”

“No, P, no.”

“Well what about you? What is your evil percentage?”

“Me? None. Zip. I am zero percent mean; I am as nice as they come.”

What percent mean are you? What rules “mean” in astrology?

43 thoughts on “What Rules “Meanness” In Astrology?”

  1. What percent mean are you?

    I am sure certain people would tell you I am really really mean. In a certain kind of fight (straight-up alpha dog dominance fight, typically on the intertubes) I am nasty. (And no, I’ve backed it up in person on occasion.)

    The rest of the time I am a complete pussycat mellow lion (‘Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go make a sandwich, lemme know when you get over it.’). I’d point out the astrology, but I’m pretty sure that’s pure Texan (note: unlike blueblood ivy-leaguer El Jefe Busho).

    What rules “mean” in astrology?

    Define mean. For pure authoritarian meaness, only Saturn will do, for pure crazy meanness that arrives out of nowhere, Uranus. I’m not talking about violence.

    [‘Mars has too short an attention span to be mean.’]

  2. Well, I asked my husband and he laughed nervously. (Good move on his part.) He said, “That’s not a fair question because you are sick!” (Good move on his part. :D)

    I’m going to go where he won’t and say 70% “nice” and 30% “mean”. I just don’t have anymore patience for this thing called “life”.

  3. Aries: mean for about 2 minutes until they learn it’s not all about them

    Taurus: mean until they learn they get to finish the ice cream

    Gemini: mean until they learn you aren’t ASKING for a commitment

    Cancer: mean until they learn it is all about them. Then they cry.

    Leo: mean until you tell them they have a cute bum.

    Virgo: mean until you explain, in full grovel/analytical mode, why you did what you did and said what you said and felt what you felt…and by the way it was never about them.

    Libra: mean until they learn you’re in this shit TOGETHER.

    Scorpio: mean until they poke your eyeballs out. There, all better.

    Sagittarius: mean until you run away from them.

    Capricorn: mean until you cry. The world’s best hug will follow.

    Aquarius: never mean, ever. Except if they are your lover.

    Pisces: mean until they go to sleep, then it’s off to Dreamland, once again.

  4. I do yell like a motherfucker. Not that often but when I do get going I can stay that way awhile. can definitely yell at the soldier all day long, though I don’t do that to anyone but him. Maybe because not one pisses me off so much, eh?

  5. Oh…I’m only mean/bitchy to my SO. It’s not a very good idea, he has a Scorpio Moon (which means he is quiet but emits much). And he has manners. That makes me look bad, too, as I was raised by people who lick their plates.
    But I’m too embarrassed to let anyone else see my crazy-streak.

    I think I’m about %5 mean. As soon as I say something mean to my SO I immediately feel bad, like I am HORRIBLE (Sun square. Saturn).

    As for what rules mean, I think it is your Sun sign that rules this. An obvious expression of ego, which is (IMO) the essence of mean.

  6. I am rarely (if ever?) mean…

    Even if I want to hurt someone 🙂
    Even then, I am not mean.

    I can speak firmly or speak my mind or be impatient, or complain, but still wouldn’t consider that “meanness”….

    People might find me cold at times (I do have Venus square Saturn) but those folks are usually women who are used to the kind of women who have no boundaries and give and give until they make themselves sick…

    As for what rules “mean” in Astrology, Mercury in Scorpio people can be pretty mean.

    Is this my Virgo Moon and Rising showing? That I keep wanting to define it? Being mean is when you know what someone is sensitive about and you use it… to hurt them. Use that thing that is their most vulnerable point.

    1. Well said. I am the same. I have a Pluto conj. Moon 6th hse ( wide but it counts) l have Venus opps Saturn too.
      I am only mean to mean people. I put up with it–try not to react. Then l turn…and give back what was given to me. Often it means l am done with that person for good.

  7. Mostly when a attacked. Sometimes when I have exhausted all diplomatic ways of getting a message across and feel like smacking someone right between the eyes with a two by four verbally. Cancer Moon, Mercury and Venus in Libra sometimes needs to fire up the Mars in Gemini. I will go with 5% mean.

    What would this percentage look like if I polled forty people who know me really well?

  8. People think I can be pretty mean, but all the Saturn in me thinks I’m just telling it like it is. I’m not trying to be mean, but I don’t want to contribute to someone’s self-delusion. I totally identify with that Cappy description. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made people cry (usually inadvertently) and then given them a big hug to try to make them feel better. People learn either to keep their distance or learn to accept it. My close friends actually really appreciate my honesty.

  9. I am incredibly rude and blunt at times (maybe due to my Pluto and Mars in Virgo square Venus, Moon and Mercury in Gemini?) but have learned to control it or mask it (Libra rising) and in recent years, deal with it, by recognizing what triggers my meanness (ignorant comments and people who try to suffocate or “supervise” me). People who don’t know me well think I’m “pleasant and charming” but a little aloof. People who have been on the receiving end of my verbal blasts are freaking afraid of confronting me a second time. I don’t yell or throw pots–it’s my words that are like knives. With Saturn in Virgo transiting my Pluto and Mars, I’ve been so much more diplomatic in recent months but it’s not easy. Not sure if I’m mean. I don’t like being approached by strangers (and people are always coming up to me!) so I often pretend I don’t speak English. Is that mean? And when I’m angry or annoyed with friends or family I shut off and disappear, cutting off communication without feeling the slightest bit concerned about how my behaviour might be affecting them. Is that mean? I think I’m 5% mean, 25% cold-hearted. And to some people, cold-heartedness is meaner than a hot-tempered person throwing a pan at you.

  10. I’m a typical bull – I loll in the field eating flowers. If you upset me I paw the ground a few times in warning. If you don’t back off – I charge!! Then I’m so sorry I upset everything that I bend over backwards to make things right again – even if I was the one who was wronged in the first place – sigh….

    If I want to make a point, my words can cut like a knife. My anger never gets physical – but I can spout off pretty good if you push me enough.

    Usually when I’m mad, I clean my house. It vents the energy, it had to be done anyhow and there’s something good as a result instead of bad.

  11. I’ll guess that I’m 10% mean. I haven’t heard anyone say that I’m mean in years. I know for a fact that I can give a mean look that will stop people in their tracks.

    The only time that I am verbally mean to anyone is if I think they are being hurtful to someone or if they talk down to me like I’m stupid. Those two things will draw my wrath and get you on my “shit list” LOL

  12. Squares involving the Moon, Mars, Saturn or Mercury, are good indicators of sporadic (by transit) meanness. Pluto can be ruthless but that’s a story for another day.

    And just because a person is “mean” doesn’t mean they see themselves that way. Self-defense (even when a pre-emptive strike), honesty, “I was just joking, they should lighten up” – all popular rationalizations for meanness.

    If they are Sagittarius though, they probably just stuck their foot (hoof?) in their mouth, and really didn’t mean to be mean.

  13. My Aries Sun can be thoughtless and say something harsh in the heat of the moment without meaning to be mean. To intentionally cause pain would come from a retro Mars in Scorpio in the 8th.

    Used to be 20% real, intentionally mean. Now, about 4%, if I feel justified. I’m seriously working on that 4%, because it’s never truly justified.

  14. I’d say I’m not mean at all. 0%. Maybe more like -200%. I normally let people get away with shit because I rationalize that they’ll get what they deserve.

    That said, I have mars conjunct my ascendant, saturn in first, pluto in first, moon in scorpio, and my chart ruler in the 8th house. I’m certainly a “dark” person, and tend to be more interested in the truth than the way people feel. Certain types of people think I’m all sorts of rude, mean, evil, cruel, etc because of this… but, I wholeheartedly disagree. If I know someone’s going to get hurt, I won’t do it.

  15. why a fixed percentage? 100% when I wholeheartedly embrace my mean side, but that is a rare occasion. and I may not act upon it. somehow in the end it makes me a better person, and nicer then when I was at most nice.

    80% nice would be the average otherwise.
    cuz I’d rather be real then nice. which in the end is the nice thing to do and be.
    So 100% nice, there you have it.

  16. the prize goes to saturn/mars aspect. The conjunction can be especially ruthless. Next, complicated plutonics/or scorpio stelliums.

  17. I’m realizing I could tone down my ego and mars/merc conjunction if I just address what upsets me instead of stewing. I wait until I cannot take it anymore…and don’t yell..but definately traverse the path of funky rationalization and that is not right. I am working on handling myself to address things right away instead of taking small stabbings that don’t jibe with me (jup in sag)

  18. Well, I’ve had the “bitch” moniker for, um, 22 years now (I’m 29), so I think it’s safe that as far as other people are concerned I’m at least 50% mean. Maybe more. And I’m okay with that.

    I OWN my anger! Whether it’s the making someone cry by pointing out their shortcomings when they didn’t heed the “back off” warning type or the smashing dishes to get my point across (“It’s your turn to clean the kitchen, so do it right. NOW. Or so-help-me-God I will smash every dirty dish in this motherfucker!”) type, or the ranting loudly about some trivial thing because it’s annoying and holding it in makes me ill type. I express it aaaalllll, it’s all mine.
    One of my employers (a therapist) said I had an anger problem, but with Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunct I have serious repercussions from not expressing my anger. If I let it off whenever I feel it, I don’t murder people in their sleep. Seems like a fair trade to me. 😉

    But, conversely, I’m quite happy to let anyone go his or her own way as long as they don’t try to impede me, I’m generous and loyal, I won’t talk about you behind your back, I don’t cheat and very rarely lie, don’t abuse children or animals, and in general try not to fuck other people over. One might say it all balances out – or as my fiance says, “You have to be somewhat evil to make up for squealing when you see furry animals.”

  19. Oh, god, I don’t know. I don’t like to think of myself as a mean person, and I’m very, very forgiving.

    I am, however, “efficient”: I make snap judgments about people and decide things about them based on their actions or appearance (though it can hardly be said that this is an unusual trait). These impressions can always be changed later (and they are, sometimes) but I’m amazed how often the person tends to satisfy the decisions I made about them. Does this sound mean? If so then I suppose I am mean.

    But Mercury in Virgo is picky about words. What do we mean by “mean”? Do we mean offensive? Aggressive? Ornery? Malicious? Selfish? Or do we mean — we stand up for ourselves when someone else is trodding on our toes? Because in that case you can hardly be called mean (although you will be called “shrill”, “aggressive”, “not cool”, “rocking the boat”). Heaven help a self-respecting woman.

  20. SaDiablo! I have Mars/Venus conjunct, opposed Pluto. I know exactly what you mean by ‘serious repercussions for not expressing anger.’ Ooooh yes.
    I did a little dancing cheer when reading about smashing dishes, ha.
    I was bulimic for years and years until I started expressing my anger. It was so weird, countless therapists etc. until I just started telling people to get lost, that shit hurts and bothers me, that kind of thing. Honesty.
    It felt like it disappeared overnight (having nice gal friends who supported me helped too, of course). I can’t tell you how many times I wished I was a man when I was younger so I was “allowed” to be as mad as I wanted to be.

  21. Strangely enough, Kashmiri, it was the smashing dishes which led to the “You have an anger problem” talk. 😉
    I know what you mean about wanting to be a boy, it seems like society is okay with them being as ruthless as they want to be. *eyeroll* Although I didn’t have an ED (congrats on kicking yours, that’s hard work!), I was severly depressed when I didn’t express my anger — I felt like an automaton and wondered why I just didn’t react like others. Um, duh? And as soon as I commited to expressing my anger, the problem cleared, just like yours. I think that’s a Pluto thing?

    So, hey, if I’m mean. . . so what? At least I’m not miserable and I’m being authentic. 😛 Yay, Pluto!

  22. I think moonpluto really hit it dead on with her definition of mean:

    “Being mean is when you know what someone is sensitive about and you use it… to hurt them. Use that thing that is their most vulnerable point.”

    Obviously, intentionally hurting or demeaning an innocent party such as a child or pet or fragile old person, is extremely mean.

    Bluntness, rudeness, and throwing dishes is not mean without accompanying cruel intentions. These actions might stir things up and upset people, but they’re still not necessarily mean, I don’t think.

    Maybe if you know you’re with a really sensitive, shy person, and you’re throwing dishes and screaming, “Oh, yeah?? You like that?? What are you gonna do??” and the person is crying and huddling in a corner, that could be considered mean.

    But if you’re brawling with your hubby who is hurling accusations, and the fight is “fair and even”, I don’t think dish-throwing is mean. It’s silly (breaking shit that you paid good money for??) but not mean.

    I’m not mean unless I perceive that someone is mean to me, or worse, mean to someone I love or someone/something innocent.

    In that case, I’m 90 percent mean “in my head” (thinking about being mean) and 10% mean in person (I may say something mean or cutting if the opp presents itself).

    The thing is, though, shitty (mean) people REALLY bother me – like a dick boss at a job, or a friend’s mom who humiliates him in public.

    I will spend all day fueling up negative energy toward said people, creating scenarios in my head where I shame them and make them pay for their mean and cruel actions (!).

    I need to redirect that energy, either through exercise or pure, hard work. It’s not an option for me – I MUST let the bad energy out that I build up from watching people be cruel to each other on a regular basis. Otherwise, it affects my health – can’t sleep and stuff.

  23. Moonpluto….I am the same way…in that I also dream up scenarios of what I will say or do about getting back at someone that hurt me, but they don’t happen. Meanness is exactly how you described it ….to me, that is…is it when you intentionally hurt someone in the underbelly…that is cruel. I can’t do this and want no part of people that do…animals and children…ohhhh, I can’t get certain images out of my head that I hear in court…..it is incomprehensible to me what some people will do.

    But, I do yell….alot….maybe it is my latin blood, but even when I am talking some people will say that I am yelling….and I can throw some things or have been known to in the way past…..used to spin tires in my car when I was fuming mad and when I start yelling …….or ranting, or carrying on…..I have to get it all out. In fact, all of us in my family are pretty passionate, but, mean….to just be mean to get back at someone….no, not in me. I have tried and that has backfired on me and I end up feeling horrible, mostly about myself…..

  24. Can’t you be scary without being mean? I know that people find me scary, but contrary to what Kashmiri think, I am not mean until I go to sleep. I seldom hold a grudge. I would not knowingly hurt a person. I simply have a strong personality. I do have a temper but it doesn’t last long. Even when I am very angry and arguing with a person, I do not try to hurt them.

  25. I’ve stopped screaming… it embarrasses me … I have a really insane need to be more girly… whatever that is … but I think people are attracted to what I call ‘my insanity’ .. maybe i should start ranting and throwing emotionally fits and getting really worked up more.. lol

  26. I’m often told by well meaning girlfriends to stop being sickly sweet and nice… and sometimes to stop acting so innocent – what me innocent??… it sort of gets embarrassing when I’m told to get tougher and meaner!?! .. blame it on taurus mars

  27. Is kashmiri right about gems having commit-a-phobia? That would explain alot. So I suppose asking for a straight answer from a gem is too committal?

    Man, I used to be able to scream and bring the house down. A great release. I just can’t get it up any more.

  28. Notch, that was very tongue in cheek:) I know a Gemini ASC/Gemini Sun couple who are married for 10 years and have a family…I know many happily committed Geminis:)

  29. I think anger and mean are a bit different and a person who can really own their anger probably doesn’t need to resort to being mean. But now I’ve thought about definitions too much and it’s all gone slippy. ‘Mean’ often just means the person on the receiving end didn’t want to handle the complication.
    But I work around mean, I see a lot of mean and I’m kind of surprised now at how much others expect nice all the time. I’m maybe 30% mean and I bet we’re all underestimating our own %’s.
    Except maybe SaDiablo 😀
    Pluto & Saturn. Esp in combo.

  30. For some reason my smiley’s don’t post. But there was one next to SaDiablo’s name. Go you with the plates! I’m a little jealous…

  31. Oh easy. That’s Capricorn for sure. Most potent combo…Capricorn Sun/Fire Moon/ Venus in Scorpio. Prominent Pluto aspects don’t help either..lol

  32. Sun and Mars conjunct in Taurus, along with Moon in Taurus. Add in the stellium of Saturn, Chiron and Venus I have in Pisces… I often think of being mean to someone but then realize there is really no point. Revenge fantasies aside, the universe will take care of it the long run. If I am mean to someone because I am having a bad day I will apologize and try to not behave that way again.. but am admittedly moody and can be a little too stuck in my own head. Ahh, that sounds bad.. I apparently have other endearing qualities!

  33. I’m with moonpluto & dina2:

    “Being mean is when you know what someone is sensitive about and you use it… to hurt them. Use that thing that is their most vulnerable point.”

    I think angry & scary are different to meanness (although, they can be mixed up with one another)

    When I get angry I rant. I can be pretty mean about things when I am venting (hypocrisy, arrogance etc. etc.) I get pretty sarcastic and cutting — but rarely about individuals (even if it is an individual that sparks the initial anger). I universalize my frustration with people and I rant. If I can’t rant, I cry & rant to myself in my head.

    I have only said really cutting things/hit below the belt to someones face (or e-mails) a handful of times and that’s always in retaliation to ‘meanness’ from them. The injustice/unfairness of meanness makes me crazy angry. I can’t stand low blows & by that I don’t mean ‘harsh truths’ I mean the intention behind harsh truths.

    If you’re intention isn’t to hurt, I can understand, take and even appreciate it.

    I just don’t understand meanness—how can you just be ‘mean’? Where does that smallness in you come from? Yanno?

    How does one become someone that just wants to ‘hurt’ another person, or thinks that their own hurt or anger is equal to or important enough to be ‘mean’ (as it is defined above)…where do you get off thinking your good enough to cut someone down…screw you! I don’t care how offended you are, twisting a knife into someones underbelly for your own satisfaction, emotions or spite is small & I hate smallness.

    See…I’m getting all angry about this now…lol…need to take a chill pill today.)

    As for ‘scary’ — that, I dunno. I’ve been called that a lot & I don’t know what they mean by that—my temper?

    Maybe it’s the quickness of temper that sets the lines of the ‘scary’ factor?

    Percentage wise I agree with Isabelle—whatever I am, I am 100% what I am at that moment.

    (wait a minute—maybe THAT is what people mean by scary???)

  34. I’m very rarely mean, only if the other person is consistently mean and abusive to me, and I have to be mean to get them to back off enough to escape. Only a few times in my life. And even then, just enough to do the job. 1%.

    pluto – just doesn’t care about what people’s feelings are if it’s not aligned with what the person perceives as the truth or real, and makes no qualms about it. I have a hard aspect with this to my venus, and when I was younger I could walk down the street or walk into a store and have people swear at me for no reason or worse. They just come out of the woodwork to yell and tear me apart with their junk.

  35. 90% nice and 10% mean , it might not look like it from the outside,but no one else is in my head and knows what’s up like I do lol

  36. I can be really really mean. I have those ugly questions you will really hate!I can point on what you would hide. I think its 20 % meanness. 🙂

  37. anonymoushermit

    I feel like I can be mean. Although I would bet you that most people who are mean aren’t conscious of it.

    I did reveal, once, that I was/am Autistic. Us Autistics (I’m sure not all, all the time) when we are young can sometimes be unintentionally mean, because of our bluntness.

    Add in that I’m a Sagittarius. The bluntness, especially when we are young, is infamous! I first read your blog when I was about 19 years old, now I’m a man in his mid-30’s!

    I’d say that my Mars square Saturn can be unintentionally mean! I want justice (Saturn) and can get angry (Mars) when there’s none!

    Also, hi Elsa! Just commented to say hi! I’ll always read your site, I feel like my Venus in Scorpio always gets fed!

  38. Great question! Being mean for the sake of it isn’t in my wheelhouse. I don’t find pleasure in picking on others.

    I’m generally very considerate and extremely patient and endlessly forgiving with people until the final straw lands. By final straw…I mean, it takes a LONG friggin time to get there with me. Years, decades even.

    So, if you provoke that, my Mars in Taurus is going full meltdown. Or, if you’re not worth the fight (Aqua on DC), you will be erased from my life without warning.

    Sorry, not sorry.

    Meanness factor? 0% until it’s 100%

  39. CONTEXTisEVERYthing

    i can be mean.. but i have this greater thing that controls it – probs saturn 1H o_0 ?

    i get sooooo sick of having to do the right thing…. and shutup my intellect that could rip people to shreds…
    i have told my husband many a time, [whom we are opposites of mean/niceness its one of those interesting opposites attract thing…. makes sense venus in my 3H mars in his !] he is lucky i use my abilities for good… because the damage i could do if there wasnt some higher calling kicking my ass with expectations ALL THE TIME …

    i usually save my meanness for those who deserve it – channel it into humanitarian or greater good sh1t…subjects… mostly… it doesnt mean i dont lose my sh1t though – but i mostly have internalised it to the point of crazy inner rage & punched windows out and teegraph poles when i was young so i wouldnt hurt someone [on aging i realise it was through protection of myself to so i didnt give the world even more reasons to reject me – tell me i wasnt good enough]…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top