What To Do When Horrible Things Happen In Your Life

Pluto planetI was talking to a friend the other night – she’s taken a bad hit in her life. I was surprised when I heard her story. The trauma was completely unexpected (Uranus sq Pluto).

I was immediately aware of both the depth and breadth of what had happened.   You know how a person can get hit hard and fast, and then the effects reverberate out?  For years? This is that kind of situation. You kind of have to say, “Well that’s it.”  And it is shocking.

I talked to my friend, at length. At first I had to let everything register, but I eventually started calling it like it was, and you know me. I’m candid!

I caught myself a few times. I wondered if I should shut up. I finally asked her.

“Is it okay to say this? Is this bothering you?”  Because I was telling her what she could expect after being hit like this. I clearly thought there was more to come.

She said she wanted me to talk. She said it was good for her, so I continued to share what I could discern.

The conversation ended well. A couple days later, we spoke again.

She said that whenever something bad happens to her – real bad – I always say something that makes her feel better.  She described this a bit more and it hit me.

“Do you know where that comes from?” I asked. “I know where it comes from.”


“It comes from playing cards.  When I played cards, I always wanted to win. I wanted to win so bad! So I’d sit at the table and as the cards were dealt, I’d think, please, please, please give me some good cards. I want some gooooooooood cards for me!”

She laughed.

“Yeah, I was always wanting to be dealt the best cards of my life. Everyone wants great cards in their hand and sometimes you get them.  I have had some marvelous hands dealt to me but sometimes you’re dealt terrible cards.  You think, oh man! Look at these crappy cards! These cards are crap!”

She snorted.

“But you still play them. What else can you do? You wanted good cards, you didn’t get them and it’s just too bad, isn’t it. You’ve still go to play them. So that’s what I am thinking, when I talk to you. She’s got crappy cards, what should she do?”

If you want to learn about card playing (and life), it’s in my book: Heaven, I Mean Circle K.

I think you’ll be surprised.

What do you do when you’re blind-sided by trauma?

19 thoughts on “What To Do When Horrible Things Happen In Your Life”

  1. dear elsa mam,
    I had died so many times by uranus(unexpected shocks).the uranus square pluto is a peak place if you(not you) are in front door,you(not you) can expect a danger at back side of the door in this aspect.this will comes like a sweet show but hard crazy ( so many aspectes are occured by uranus in my life through suiside).i am entered and learning astrology ,because of uranus only.

  2. Drop to my knees and pray. I found that I was humbled by the experience. I also found that the grace, wisdom and hope that I needed was always within. Only when I put a lid on my EGO (Easing God Out) where the doors flung open to release the pain and trauma. Most importantly I took responsibility for my part in the matter. We always have a choice.

  3. Give myself a little time to process/absorb. Stand up, assess the damage, make a new plan, and jump back into life. 🙂

    The only thing that really helps me is action.

  4. Message in a Bottle
    When Horrible Things Happen (I)
    Fact check the horrible thing (what, who, how–“why” is interesting but not often as urgent).
    Stabilize and Secure self and perimeter as best possible against further horribleness.
    Take stock of immediate resources and desired outcomes (best case/worst case)
    Ask for help. Accept help. Review the plan including milestones and risk contingencies.
    Execute the f*ck out of that plan…”All your power.”, “The only way out is through.”
    Steel and brace for fallout, collateral damage and (oddly enough) even some “friendly fire”.
    Remain vigilant. Recognize if a battle has become a war has become a campaign and adjust as necessary.
    Self-care is important as weakness of mind or body will impact effectiveness.
    Ditto for allotting time and attention to allies–their cares and concerns.
    Ditto for being aware of and assisting others in need as able.
    Pray (or meditate or journal or…)
    Recognize that the horrible thing may be a game changer or a life changer but it cannot erase the right and responsibility for self-determination. As out of control and terrifying as things may seem, our authentic selves are our sole provenance–Stand on the courage of conviction and right action. Adjust all means to that end.
    Repeat the above as necessary.
    And?…Refrain from the temptation to ask, “Could this be any more horrible!?”…the answer is an unfailing, “Yes”.

    1. I agree with all here, CP Griffin. Your comment is so full of wisdom! You hit it out of the ball park and I’ve read it three times and will probably read it again. Thank you.

  5. I was one of the people who in this last month took some very hurtful hits and betrayals. I really had to go dark for a while to nurse my wounds but what really surprised me next was that through some quirk of the cosmos I was pushed out into the public eye in a major way and became the face of opposition to a completely non-related local community issue. I have Uranus in my 3rd house, Mercury as the final depositor of my chart so when I want to make a point I can really make a point verbally.and at the time both the Sun and Moon hit midheaven and my 10th house during the course of these events. I’m normally a very private person so this has all be wow, just wow! Wish me luck. It’s still going on.

  6. Went through something so horrible that it is unspeakable, really. It took me years to begin to process it and emerge from a sort of trance state of grief and unbearable pain.
    I could still function during that time, but my functionality was markedly reduced.
    Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

    I guess I’d say that prayer and solitude and being very conservative with outgoing energy got me through…

  7. I’ve had so many horrible things happen to me I’ve lost count; particularly since 1998. Probably doesn’t help to have North node in the 12th house Taurus and South node in 6th house Scorpio. I’ve been told for years that ‘the second half of your life with be better’ but nothing is getting better and there is no hope in sight.

  8. I use my spirituality. I ask for help. I do what I can to move forward. I realize that the pain and trauma I feel connects me to far more people than having an easy, breezy life ever could. I once read that a person with a Pisces MC like me knows “the true meaning of suffering”. Damn right, and I am better for it.

  9. I’ve never commented on line anywhere ever but cp griffin made me laugh out loud and compelled me to say: Excellent advice! This person is keepin it real.

  10. If it happened to a friend, I tell them, ‘Call me if you feel like breaking down or crying. I’ll be here no matter how many years it takes you to glue yourself back together.’

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