11 thoughts on “What’s The Deal With People Who Disrespect Their Partners?”

  1. Avatar
    ComfortableDarkness

    I think self-hatred is often the driving force behind people who disrespect their partners, or even a first date.

  2. Then that would explain all the crappy partners I’ve had.
    It doesn’t help that I don’t think I’ve chosen well… I’m always with an addict… Or stupid person. In theirs day and age at my age, there’s not a lot of maturity

  3. Avatar
    circle.dot.oceans

    Yes… Sometimes I also think they have forgotten what it feels like to be treated well without some sort of tortured, angry state, or strings always attached. Or they don’t trust or believe in the inherent goodness or in the love of others. So, they don’t believe anyone would treat anyone else well without strings attached or threats. It’s sad state to watch. It may be less conscious than what you’re describing, Elsa. Still, it is true that this would happen. It happened to me, and still would if I didn’t keep it in check. Mostly comes in the form of “I’m in a terrible vulnerable shitty state… Only a shitty person who wants to take advantage of me would want me as I am”. I know now how false this can be and keep it in mind that it’s only one perspective, and not the one I want for love to flourish.

  4. I am much better than before, but I do have a tendency to not valorize my choices… boyfriends, therapist, friends, school, everything. It’s just a reflection of the relationship with myself. For sure.

  5. Absolutely. I remember discussing this with my step-mother when I was in my 20s. She called it the “Why would I want to be with anyone who would want to be with me?” syndrome. It’s something that both of us struggled with.

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