When Tragedy Strikes Your Spouse

I went to the doctor with my husband a few days ago. The doctor put him WAY up high in a chair.

My husband does not like to see the doctor for any reason. He sure as hell does not want to be raised up on a platform, so of course I laughed and taunted him once the doctor left the room.

We have so much fun. We’re old, right? But we have a lot of fun, because we met as teens. It’s as if he’s still 19 and I’m 17 and it’s funny to see him up on a platform against his will, looking so uncomfortable as I laugh like a banshee.  We did not envision this when we we kids, see? We’re far beyond our wildest dreams.

Later, we watched a program about people who keep chimpanzees as pets. There was a couple who had been together (and had a chimp) for more than 30 years.  They were happy.

But then the husband got his face eaten off by a chimp. He was mauled to within an inch of his life and when it was all said and done, many surgeries later, he looked really horrific. He had no nose, he could not really see, his face was rearranged and he just didn’t look good, okay? But his wife was unfazed.

She outlined what happened post the attack, describing each surgery he’d undergone,touching his face as she talked.  He looked BAD, okay? But this was her husband.

He said that he looked bad and his face looked sad, but this was because it wasn’t his face. His face did not reflect what he felt inside. He said he was okay. He was happy.

“I’d be amazed if someone woman stayed with me, if something happened and I looked like that bastard,” my husband said.

“Do you think I’d leave you?” I asked.

“I think you’d stay.”

“I would stay. We’d still have the same fun. I don’t care what you look like. You and I always have a good time and I don’t think anything will ever change that. I wouldn’t consider leaving. I know I would not have as much fun with anyone who wasn’t you.”

What would you do if  your spouse was struck with tragedy of this magnitude?  What’s the astrology?

15 thoughts on “When Tragedy Strikes Your Spouse”

  1. Whew. I was afraid this post might have a different story when I saw the title. Hope all is well with your husband!

    People shouldn’t keep chimps as pets. Plain and simple. I guess I’m glad that the couple is still in love, but whenever a wild yet captive animal mauls someone, I see it as karma more than tragedy.

    All of my scorpio would stick with my loved one through most tragedy though. I’m pretty sure about this.

  2. Most definitely chimps should not be pets!

    It was not their chimp that mauled the man though, just for the record. Not that their chimp would not have done so the next day or the next week…

    My husband is okay. He has a lot of things wrong with him, but nothing that is threatening him this minute. 🙂

  3. Jupiter in Pisces and Venus in Scorpio – I’d stay for sure. Not so sure about my sweetie. *sigh* She’s kinda “different”.

  4. My former partner almost died in a horrific accident, and though it didn’t kill him he was disabled. His recovery was long and grueling. He missed a year of work and has never (and will never) regain the health he once had.

    I stayed. It was so hard. It has been almost 10 years since that accident and it still chokes me up when I think of it because of how deeply I loved him and to see someone you love on the brink of death and fight like HELL to get back, there is nothing like it. Pain doesn’t quite begin to describe it. I felt so bad for him. So so so so so so bad.

    Anyway, it changed his life and it changed him and the relationship didn’t last. You think you go through that, you can get through anything. But trauma alters people on a cellular level, and there is no telling where you end up.

    As for the astrology, I have a lot of Taurus. Loyal. Empty Cancer 7th House, but when that accident occurred, Saturn was transiting it. I knew by staying, I was making a commitment that would impact the rest of my life. It has.

    I remember too, thinking ‘wow I’m so young [26] and I’m glad I got this out of the way.’ My reasoning was, I knew one day as an old lady I’d be dealing with an ailing or dying partner, and the experience was training ground. I mean, I just KNEW it. So even though things sucked for a very, very, very long time I knew it would serve both of us in the end. And it has.

  5. I can finally say that I’m in a relationship where we both would stay if something terrible happened to the other. It is the first time I’ve felt the truth of this statement “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own” (by Robert Heinlein.. great fellow).

    As far as the astrology goes, I’m not 100% sure. I think it definitely helps that my mars is conjunct his venus in scorpio. Serious attraction that is anything but superficial.

    I also have moon/rising in libra and he has a libra sun. I enjoy giving him emotional support and I think I’m pretty good at it. I think it would make me happy if I had to care for him during tragedy.. also because I know he’d do the same for me. I can’t say the same for anyone else I’ve been with. And I’ve been with a lot of needy people. They only made me feel resentful and trapped.

  6. I think I’d stay. I’m incredibly devoted. Mars in Cancer, 4th house Venus, Saturn conjunct Venus, Capricorn Descendant…love and marriage is SUCH serious business to me.

  7. Scorpioandproud

    I tell my Pisces baby all the time I would push him up hill in a wheel chair in waist deep snow if he had no legs….and I mean every word of it. I mean, if I didn’t I would be without him.

    When he was taking blood pressure meds he had problems in the downtown manhood department….so what. I don’t care. I didn’t marry that, I married him.

    He has the best sense of humor. In fact he is so funny that I can be in the middle of a nightmare and he will say something and I fall out. He is certainly my better half. I hope I die first. I will take him armless, legless…any old way he ends up.

    I have no doubt he will do the same. When I got sick and a large percentage of my hair fell out I was crying in the bathroom one evening. He stood behind me with the clippers and said, shave it off…do not let it control you. I will shave my head first so you wont be alone in this. We will walk around with hairless heads….and we will be happy. I didn’t marry your hair. My hair grew back and my love for him even deeper than it was before.

    God I love my MrPiscesman!!!!!!!!!

  8. I lost a lover to cancer and I was with him throughout his dying. Like Kashmiri said, I knew this would be training for life experiences to come.

    Five years later I met my current partner. We had been together for 4 years when I got a phone call that he had been hit by a car while riding his motorcycle.

    After numerous surgeries, he had a leg amputated above the knee. But he’s the same person and I love him. He’s totally trustworthy and integrity is a big issue for me with Scorpio rising.

    Also, we have moon & Sun connections, Venus & sun connections, Jupiter & moon connections. This just feels like my best friend & lover.

    We’re still happy and in love after 19 yearrs.

  9. I have Venus in Virgo trine Neptune! I’m sort of “programmed” for sticking with my significant other through thick and thin. : )

  10. One of my closest friends was 21, and had an eight-month-old child, when her husband got into a horrific car accident while moving their belongings to their new place. He ended up quadriplegic, and spent a long time in rehab. They stayed married for quite a few years after that, but he became a different person, and my friend had to do most of the work at home, with him supervising and apparently not being very nice about it.

    She and I had lost touch during that time, so I didn’t know they’d gotten divorced until she got in touch with me following my father’s death in 2009, 25 years since we’d last spoken.

    Now she’s been married for over ten years to a man who adores her, and her ex-husband is also married again. I would say they’re both happy, but it took a long time for each of them to get there.

    I can’t judge my friend for ultimately leaving, not being privy to everything that happened during their marriage, but do know they were having trouble before the accident.

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