Selkie writes, regarding the stereotypes of the various signs…
“…lots of Scorpios are harsh people who actually greatly enjoy judging others (even people they’ve never even met or talked to); insist on playing seemingly inexplicable games with people for years on end; take pleasure in seeing “certain” (or “certain sorts of”) people punished, and in freezing out the “unworthy,” and who are stubborn to the point of harming both themselves and others – even the people closest to them.”
The comment is out of context so check yourself if it offends you. I wanted to address the phenomena of Scorpio freezing people out. It definitely happens and it’s never been addressed on this blog.
I have been frozen out by a Scorpio. Though I’m not a Scorpio, I have enough in the eighth house I can do a pretty mean impression of one. I’ve learned to freeze people out myself. The act is an act but I would argue the motivation.
Though games are played and Scorpio withholds to manipulate and so forth, most times when Scorpio freezes someone out… amputates I would say, it is almost always an act of self-preservation. I learned this the hard way, which is probably the best way. Here’s the story:
Some years ago I had a Scorpio pal; we were friends, not lovers. He was educated and generous with me. He shared his knowledge, told me jokes, listened to me, kept me cheered and just in general supported me in many ways. He was an outstanding friend and while I always appreciated him, I taxed him greatly. I was immature at the time. I was high maintenance and I just didn’t seem to be able to understand his agony although it was expressed.
He was Jupiter rising like I am and people think we’re buoyant to the core when this is simply not the case. But anyway, he told me and told me and told me that he was suffering, but I just kept coming. I cringe when I write this but whatever. This is what I did and eventually he pulled the plug.
And he didn’t just pull the plug, either. He wrote me a passionate letter to let me know he had thought long and hard about what he was going to do. He said he had been up nights tossing but felt he had no choice but to let me pass… he just could not deal with me.
He apologized though there was not one reason why he should have, other than he knew I would feel feel pain due the separation. And he said nothing at all derogatory. He simply stated his truth. He was in pain and he felt he needed to isolate himself so he could work things through.
This was a number of years ago. I came to understand his position. You can be a kind, generous person and he was. He was mentor type and I know he liked me and valued the interaction as much as I did at one time but I was killing him. I was pretty much his entire inner circle, and while it was not my intention, I was sucking the life right out of the guy. In hindsight I would say I was freakishly greedy and insensitive and in short, this was a friend I deserved to lose.
I have since learned to consciously amputate myself and when I do I always recall the example this guy set. I make sure there is no other option because while I know the other person is going to bleed, I think it comes back on you twice as hard. In other words, though I don’t know, I’m pretty sure his pain was beyond my own.
It’s so painful when this happens in my life I don’t ever want to reattach to anyone who has pushed me to the edge where I had to detach. I just don’t trust them which is the same thing that happened with my friend. I know because I rattled his cage now and then for a number of years. He never responded and I know why. But here’s the point I want to make:
I could go on and on and about how cold this guy was shutting down the way he did. Pooooor Elsa. But fact is I did something that provoked his actions. Matter of fact I did one hundred things that provoked his actions. I’d just say if you find yourself amputated by Scorpio, you might want to check your own stuff. This is especially true if you know them to be an above board type.
Because Scorpio doesn’t (generally) explain, it’s easy to call and consider yourself their victim when you’re anything but. People are human and they have their limits and so many people ask to be cut. They beg and beg for it. They won’t stop until they’ve completely done you in and when you finally make a defensive strike, this is their cue to cry injury. Whatever. I have little sympathy. I have seen the movie only about a million times.
Have you ever been frozen out by Scorpio? Or if you are Scorpio (or a reasonable facsimile) have you ever felt yourself forced to amputate? How’s this feel on your end?
as scorpio moon, i know when i am ‘done’ with someone, i’m ‘done’. usually after being stretched beyond limits. struggling with a friend right now who is juggling multiple life issues and cannot see anything beyond her own pain. our friendship has disintegrating into her unloading and my commenting. not sure she even sees me as anything more than a free therapist. when i try to distance myself in a gentle way, she reaches out saying that she never lets her friends ‘go’. *eeek* nice for her, but it’s getting more and more difficult for me to continue. at this point, i could easily just cut ties and walk away without a second glance, leaving her wondering, i’m sure, what happened to her nice friend. in other words, in this rambling post, i think my scorpio moon nature allows me to absorb a lot more than usual,emotionally, until like an overfilled balloon i pop. then it’s too late.
I am Scorpio moon to I can be very sweet and moody at times I give people chances on top of chances and after awhile I can’t take it
I have Venus in Scorpio and a lot of Virgo, so I like to serve and I have can handle a lot of dark stuff. But, it does get draining and I have had to let a few people go because I would hold all of their crap and they would leave me hanging with it. Most of the time that’s fine, but every once in a while, my life takes a noise dive and you are right, in self-preservation mode, I have to reserve some energy for me and they get cut off.
Another thing I’ve noticed recently, if I can’t make the cut, sometimes the universe will step in and make the cut for me. I have one particularly draining friend that after 30 years of friendship and 10 or so years of talking to her daily, got mad at some advice I gave that she asked me to give and quit talking to me. Cold turkey for 3 months. It was at the exact time that I thought I needed her most, but now I think it was for the best. She’s recently started calling again, but I am reluctant to answer. I feel a lot better about life without her daily dumping on me.
“… if you find yourself amputated by Scorpio, you might want to check your own stuff. This is especially true if you know them to be an above board type.”
I have a friend of years and admire her ethics and ability to just Know people (she’s a scorpio with pisces moon).
She’s amputating me since the last time I was with her. I was being way to friendly with her boyfriend, but not on purpose! (Sag moon – I smiled to much). Her boyfriend completly monopolized the conversation and kept calling my attention when what I really wanted to do was – Just be with her alone and talk to her only. I never liked him but always lied and said yeh, he’s ok. I think my friend ended up with him for fear of ending up alone. I never told her this – maybe she knew and did not like being judged – I don’t know what else could I possible done wrong. She wasn’t treating me with the same respect since, maybe, a year or so.
To tell you the truth I don’t think in this situation I’m the one to blame, the one who did something wrong: I think that what is at stake here are her insecurities, deep ones, a jealous nature – and her venus is at the early degrees of capricorn. I don’t wanna say “it’s her fault!” – I think she’s dealing with, maybe, paranoia, jealousy… and maybe I’m being blamed. I don’t know. Anyway, my friend is really amputating me. Everytime I try to contact her she doesn’t even try to be nice. It’s ok, it hurts, but what can I do? Nothing and just accept 🙁
Maybe this is a sign of Saturn aproaching my venus… I don’t kown.
I am an Aries and interested in a Scorpio he is so sweet we have being friends for quite some time and lovemaking is so beautiful I love gazing in his eyes I will do whatever this man want me to do he isn’t the typical Scorpio everybody say they are not in love yet but not to far from falling in love
Wow Kashmiri, that truly sucks. Sounds like you were dealing w/one of the unevolved Scorps.
I am a Scorpio w/Scorpio Rising & Jupiter in Scorpio as well. I have done the amputation thing – it has been with 2 long time friends who began to just take me for granted, it was always about them, and my thoughts and feelings were always either ignored or negated. I got tired of being the third wheel in my own friendships, ya know?
I just walked away with never a word or confrontation. Just DONE.
Horribly difficult to do and not conceived lightly, but the time was right.
There are certain Scorps (just like other signs) who give and give and give and are very generous, and it takes a considerable amount of energy and thought to feel comfortable enough to make friends to begin with (I’m talking a HUGE EFFORT here to open up), so when one of those treasured ones that you’ve poured so much of yourself into begin to go south, it is horrifically painful to detach, but I think most of us Scorps are of the ‘rip the bandage off’ mode of thinking and try to get away in one clean tug. I think Elsa has it right in it being an act of self-preservation.
I recently got rid of a co-worker who I thought was a friend. I have Moon conjunct Pluto with Saturn in Scorpio.
My co-worker thought she could play me and use me.
I gave her a taste of her own medicine and she’s still feeling the burn. I cut people off when they least expect it.
I am a scorp and I amputate all the time. I never do it maliciously nor do I judge. Too many people have judged me and done so so wrongly that I just don’t. But I amputate and if it feels like I am freezing someone else out…why? am I not allowed to keep close to me those that I like and those that I don’t like keep them away?
I’ve frozen out many people in my life. I’ve just got rid of a recent batch of so called friends whose constantly increasing needs for attention and energy from me was literally making me ill. I couldn’t take any more. Scorpio freezing is SELF PRESERVATION folks! We give more than others, that’s why people take more and if the taking becomes excessive and unbalanced, your health and sanity could be on the line.
It never ceases to amaze me how oblivious others are to the mechanism of their relationships with scorpio types. If you always feel like a massive weight has been taken off your shoulders after a heart to heart with a scorp, that’s because you’ve simply downloaded your burdens onto their shoulders and they are now doing the intense and painful job of processing your crap for you.
And you scorps out there, stop the free therapy sessions for all your thankless so called friends. Let people take full responsibility for their problems and learn to work them out on their own or with the help of a fully qualified psychotherapist who is PAID to do that job.
Scorps, you think you’re doing people a favour but you’re sooo not. You’re simply supporting them in their refusal to take their emotional issues seriously enough to seek expert professional help. Why should they when they have you on tap.
And the karmic repercussions on scorpios as they misguidedly take on problems that other people refuse to shoulder themselves are substantial, often leaving them weak, exhausted and depleted, often without a word of thanks or appreciation from their beneficiaries. It’s funny how they all remember how incredibly important you are to them when you’ve finally cut them off for good.
Wow, this is the greatest explanation… I do the therapy sessions for my so-called friends constantly… I am Sun Pluto in Scorpio and Scorpio Venus…But enough is enough…And Im about to cut a so-called friend that was draining me and have done a lot of s**t… and its always: Oh you are so cool, you are so great…. Well, wait until you see how uncool I can be… (Thanks Pluto transiting my first house for making me realise how much I degraded myself for unworthy people)
“we give more than others.”
That doesn’t fly at all when compared to the martyr of the zodiac. I’m attracted to aspects of Scorpio women, but they definitely take a LOT more out of me than I do them. Everybody does.
The Martyr of the zodiac? You are Pisces I suppose. I am married to one. I think we give and take equally.
Don’t clump all sun signs together. Its just bad astrology.
Can I get an AMENNNNNNNNNNNNNN
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Totally agree. It IS self preservation, literally a survival instinct. Sometimes I feel like there are people out there who are psychic vampires and just take and take and take…devoid of love, and can’t give anything back. I REMOVE MYSELF from their influence in my life.
This!!! Perfectly stated, 100 percent accurate.
My scorpio rising bowling league friend foze me out of her life last spring. Stopped sending me emails, stopped calling, quit bowling,everything. I still have no idea why and I will probably never try to find out because I hate confrontations (Pisces asc). She was a bossy Leo sun who thought she knew how everyone else should live their life (even though her life was fucked up on the verge of divorce, overwieght and miserable unless high or drunk) I say Who needs that bullshit!! (Capricorn sun)
Regardless of the rights and wrongs of Scorpio ‘freezing’, I just want to say, it’s still scary as hell!
I’ve been on the end of one and yes, it was partly brought on by my own behaviour, and it may be self-preservation on the Scorpio’s part, but it doesn’t negate the fact that the reluctance to talk things through before freezing gives the other person no option. Self-preservation it may be, but it’s also a power thing, a way of having the last (non-)word, if you like. I’ve loads of Sag and Gemini and Scorpio freezing is scary, frustrating and debilitating sometimes.
I’ve since re-established contact with the Scorp (partly cos he has has Libra rising and is a bit more conciliatory), but the old issues are never raised, and consequently never resolved. I’ve learnt to accept it and to accept my own need for resolution without projecting it on the other person.
This is a dilemma I’ve never been able to resolve – when is talking too much, and when is not-talking too little? Ah well, we fumble through the best we can.
I had to amputate my Scorpio mother to keep my sanity. She was giving me asilent calls, made me paranoid and I lost many friends because of it. The worst part is that I confided in her and she said nothing. Until one day I confronted her when I knew it couldn’t be anyone else but her. There were other things like, she wasn’t interested in what’s m what’s been happening into my life but dump her stuff while we are on the telephone. When I was having a lot of problems but she had no sympathies for me. There was no point in talking to result these issues as she would not change. So there you have it. You might like to have talked it through but there are times there is no point.
I’m not a Sun Scorpio, but I have Venus/Pluto conjunct (in Virgo). I’m the same way with overly needy people. I amputated one a few years ago. Frightening because the woman was, unfortunately for me, dense, and I had to plunge the knife in without any painkiller to finally get rid of her.
She craves drama and having people around her, and, well, I don’t. I’ve also amputated a lot of strongly Cancerian types right out of my life for the same reason. All that ickiness makes my skin crawl. I’d rather not deal with it, so I freeze those kinds of people out.
jj — you are so right about scorpios stepping back and suggesting to people that they seek professional help. i’ve mentioned it to my friend, time and again and she has a gazillion excuses from ‘not wanting to do the work’ (YOU don’t want to do the work, you just want ME to do it for you…) to ‘i can’t afford it’ (this from someone who is set for life *sigh*), it’s too bad, we’ve been very close over the years, and of course, there’s that scorpio loyalty, but i just can’t take it any more (and ironically, one of her biggest issues is that she’s alienating family and friends and can’t/won’t understand why)
I’ve been frozen by a scorpio friend – she was an internet friend and I also had visited her once for a weekend. Online I cut her bad, inadvertantly hitting her most sensitive spot. So she wrote to me about how it hurt her and never talked to me again.
I have a really good scorpio friend now. And she had to cut out all of her friends at one point. Then years later she met me. And the things she worried about bothering me due to her past, didn’t bother me a bit. Apparently her old friends would put her down and drain her energy.
My husband has a stellium in Scorpio including the sun. What I have noticed is that he doesn’t suffer fools easily, unless they’re his friends! Then he suffers them for way too long! (some of the stellium is opposite Saturn in Taurus, maybe that’s why)
I’m thinking of one guy in particular who was a total loser. Treated his wife like crap. Treated my hubby like crap too. He stuck with him until one night it got so bad he just said “you are RUDE!” and dropped him off at his house and never ever spoke to him again. That guy deserved it.
i don’t know if it’s my 8th house (i don’t have personal scorpio planets… just uranus.)
but if someone is wounding me and i don’t have any expectation of them stopping, i will cut them out.
sometimes only until i can feel i can bear it again. depending on whether it’s something malicious or just crosswired needs (i can’t always hold those sorts of pain against someone.)
i usually don’t say why. unless i actually see a hope that they’d actually want to resolve the situation. or if it’s a final close and i want to make it extremely clear that they’re unwelcome in my life (which i try to be nice about but there’s not many gentle ways of saying that.)
my scorpio stellium friend likes to understand people. it’s an obsession, i guess, to dissect how people tick. she’ll focus on someone for awhile, and then, when she’s reached a certain point she might realize that they’re… toxic, or dangerous, or projecting all over her, or whatever, and tries to pull back, and people get upset, feel they’re getting cut off (since they’re used to that scorpio focus and can feel the bounceback when it lifts) overreact, and make her feel like she has no other choice but to cut them off completely. (and she can get harsh. likely too harsh.)
anyway, that’s how she describes it.
Scorpio ASC….I’ve done this to a handful of friends. I’ve said in another post I get these friends who end up being clingy/needy/jealous, it just drives me nuts. I try to stick it out with them, and I’m even honest about how they make me feel (like I have a super-jealous boyfriend on my hands), but if they don’t get the point then I have to let it go. I never related it to my Scorpio ASC but wow, it’s true, each one drained the hell out of me. When I reached a point of maturity, I realized that as much as I hate to hurt anybody, these relationships were very toxic and flat out unecessary. I never have intended to freeze people off completely, but instead wait until they mature themselves. Oh yeah, and my Saturn is in the 11th.
Kashmiri–No, it makes me look like an insensitive clod. 😉 Now I know why I never attracted Cancer or Pisces men. (Scorpios, that’s another story. Hubby is Scorp rising.) Not only am I blunt, I’m not a cling-on.
I honestly don’t think male Cancer or Pisces types would go for a Leo Sun, Sun conjunct Mars, and Aries rising. 😉 Just generalizing, of course, but it’s telling that I never dated any.
I couldn’t have put this anymore eloquently than you have, Elsa. Thanks for the post.
Xin
(Scorpio/Scorpio)
“…most times when Scorpio freezes someone out… amputates I would say, it is almost always an act of self-preservation.”
Maybe so, but I have to question the validity of Scorpios’ every perception that they NEED to preserve themselves. Sometimes they’re just afraid – yes, even a Scorpio!(I mean, I know one who, after hearing about the film, “I Am Curious [Yellow]” way back in 1967 has flatly shunned all things, ideas and people Swedish – because they’re “sexually immoral”! And I’m NOT exaggerating.) Sometimes it’s flat-out selfish – an attempt to control someone else. I have a choice example; I apologize for its length, but I’m hoping that Elsa and/or any of you out there can tell me if, or where, I’m wrong!
If you’ve ever seen or read Edith Wharton’s “The Age of Innocence,” my mother-in-law is the same type of person as the character of “May,” who was surely modeled on a Scorpio woman. (In fact, if you want an example of what the Scorpionic freeze-out can do to the lives of everyone around them, without the Scorpio ever once being anything short of gracious and polite, read “The Age of Innocence.”)
When I was first introduced to my boyfriend’s mother (now my husband since 1992) she came into the room, barely shook my hand, was very polite – then disappeared into the back of the house for the rest of the evening. My husband mentioned (-only then! He hadn’t thought it important..)that she didn’t approve of people who were overweight, which I was. OK; everybody’s entitled to their own opinion. Between that and the fact that she clearly sensed that her son was serious about me (first woman he’d brought home who fit that description), from that night on, I DID… NOT… EXIST. No, seriously – even when we went on to live together, my existence was never even referred to, period. For more than a decade! (BTW, I got along great with his father, who was as nice as could be.)
I knew I certainly hadn’t done anything wrong – in fact, this lady had never even talked to me beyond polite intros, so I went along with it. Whenever she asked my husband to come for holidays & birthdays (always with no mention of me, & very pointedly, so both he & I would “get it”) I encouraged him to go; I think family’s important.
Eventually, we moved about 120 miles away; in the first couple of years, it was still the same deal with her. Just before one Thanksgiving, out of the blue, my husband’s FATHER called up to apologize for “their” awful behavior toward me and to invite me for Thanksgiving dinner that year.
I went; my “acknowlegement” by my husband’s mom consisted of her acting as if nothing had ever happened,as though I’d always been warmly welcomed by her, and certainly with no hint that her husband had called and actually apologized. And so it’s been ever since! My husband and I never acknowleged to her that she had frozen me out from first meeting through the ensuing twelve years, and neither did she. I wish I could say I was always perfectly gracious, but I did have a bit of a reservoir of anger built up about being judged & frozen out like that for so long, and in the first couple of years it came out every so often in stupid little indirect ways I now regret. But I’m long over it. My in-laws have been wonderful to me in so many ways for years now. Everything’s been fine for a long time… well, as far I my husband and I can really tell with a Scorpio. (Just a JOKE.)
My mother-in-law lost years of what could have been a close relationship with her son and his wife – for what? Unlike some Scorpios, I don’t think you can or should try & control who your kids decide to love, what they decide to work at, etc. (and that’s a whole ‘nother story about this lady and her family). I mean, offer parental opinions, talk with them, etc, but when you have to let go of it, let go – right? (Wrong?)
But she still runs constant Scorpionic “scams” on her own family, though apparently I’m now exempt. Example: She’s extremely afraid of anything new but won’t admit that, even to herself, so when her husband got a cell phone & wanted to get one for her (for safety’s sake), she sweetly pronounced that NO ONE needed a cell phone – and just as sweetly refused to take the phone # of her own husband’s cell! She still refuses – on some “priciple” is all my husband & I can figure -and recently had a plan to force a family member into a completely arbitrary event of her creation, that he’d SAID he did not want to (and what’s more, couldn’t) attend – and ended up screwing it up HERSELF all because she couldn’t call her husband on the road when she needed to!
Scorpios (& those who are heavily influenced by the 8th house and/or Pluto) are often incredibly wise, loyal people, and have traits that I admire greatly (and wish I had!). But, like May Welland Archer, they often have a self-induced, hard blindness and resistence to admitting the very existence of anything – or anyone – not to their liking! Other signs all have their failings, too. But Scorpio can really make sure it HURTS, if so inclined, though when done out of selfishness, it often ends up hurting them just as badly. I just wished it could be mentioned among all the praise, that’s all.
Am I wrong?
Edith Wharton’s “The Age of Innocence” is my all time favorite movie.
May is certainly not a Scorpio. She cannot fulfill Newland’s desires for an emotional life or intellectual stimulation, but she does symbolize the perfect wife and marriage partner for his social class and time.
There isn’t a Scorpio alive that would live an emotionless life with a man that truly loves another woman. A Scorpio woman would leave him and live alone. The Scorpio in the movie is Ellen. Not May. Ellen, the Countess Olenska, fulfills Newland’s longing for an emotional fantasy life. And, is in love with him but cant have him so, she would rather be alone. That is a Scorpio.
May was a Capricorn. Her husband the cheater, A Sag.
You asked someone to tell you if you were wrong. Based on this movie, you are wrong. And, its common for in laws to dislike each other. That’s where all the mother in law jokes came from.
May loved her husband. What her husband and her cousin were doing was shitty. He proposed to May. He married her. Ellen (who was also married) had no business going near her cousin’s fiancé and then husband. And, she did the right thing by leaving when she learned May was pregnant. May told her cousin she was pregnant because that Capricorn was not going to lose her husband or her place in society. Standing in society means much more to a cap than it ever would to a Scorpio. Typical Sag husband….out fooling around….
I’m quite certain I have this right 🙂 (favorite movie) (and I have 5 planets in Scorpio)
Ah now I feel like a bastard.
I do think Scorpio’s are, when above board and solid, generally right when they cut. But I also want to stick by my projection thing, because I’ve seen scorpio’s even above board do that too.
I mentioned being cut twice by the one scorpio in the other post and its true, the first time I was told (years later) it hadn’t actually happened (although that leaves me rather confused about the unanswered calls and emails), and the second time I was told I was right about what I’d thought/felt/the situation and it was the closest to an apology I got.
In the end in that particular case I still get so much richness out of the relationship that I opt to continue even at risk of being taken down again, in fairness I don’t think going down either time did me long term harm because I was right (whereas if I had been wrong I think it might have done me good) but its definitely made me super cautious about how I communicate with this person. I have an even higher degree of paranoia and fear of judgement and unless I can communicate face to face and see and feel her reaction I pretty much toe my way like its eggshells.
LMFAO.. ?? Yeah, we do this! To be honest, this is how we process an offense or slight! We need to remove you out of the equation and then go within to dissect your actions.. If you were right then we’ll let you back in… But, if you approach us in the same manner again you’re back on the outs..and the process repeats itself!! Lol???
Yes…this is true…I have Scorpio in the Sun and a Scorpio Rising and I am excellent at “the cut off!”…I have had family that claimed they “loved” me and fake ass friends that I demoted to “non factors” (Evelyn from Basketball Wives) after I gained serious amounts of weight and once I cut their asses off…I lost about 200 lbs over a period of time. Then these dumbasses tried to have me hospitalized, by claiming me crazy for cutting them out of my life. They talked so much shit…and kept doing more shit to the point of even having my children taken from me through Child Protective Services here in the State of Michigan…Yet these are the same weirdos that said I needed therapy and “help” from a professionally trained and certified Psychologist and now even a Psychiatrist because I cut them off and lost weight without any diets or surgeries..I am a natural athlete and professionally and street trained dancer…so the weight comes off quickly for ME..especially when I implement “the cut off”…I think these people are sick and in much need of serious mental help being all up in my business! They talked shit when I gained weight and they still talk shit now even after I lost weight and are insisting that I be around them even to the point of pulling a fake ass eviction and “superimposing”(Hayes-Bey, Maurice A.) Community Living Arrangements through various scenarios living with the same talking shit family members and homeless shelters!…However, being the “Queen of The Cut Off”…I have learned from my own grandmothers and aunties how to cut people off in their faces when I am being forced to assimilate with the same violators of my human rights to not be bothered with them…and forced assimilation is illegal by they way…These weirdos need to “get a clue”(Graham, Leigh) and realize once a Scorpio is done with you..that is pretty much it! I really appreciate this forum..so we continue to discuss different scenarios of “the cut off”…whether you guys have been victims of “the cut off” or you are the one doing “the cut off” yourselves…us Scorpio are ruthless like that..with explanation.. especially after we have been good friends or family to the “victims”…I have been there and extremely loyal to these people to my own detriment to the point of homelessness and still homelessness and assisting with social responsibility without hardly any thank yous from these same ingrates…smh
My Scorpio freeze-out story goes like this….I am having breakfast at the company cafeteria with a table of women,one is a stunning Swedish Scorpio,just having given birth to her first child several months before.She is tall,dark,looks VERY much like Ingred Bergman.She is nursing so her curves are extra curvy,she is at the height of her feminine powers.The guy who trains the bomb sniffing dogs walks in and says a happy hello to her-now comes the freeze-she straightens up in her cafeteria chair,shoots a look at him out of the corner of her eye,kinda sideways,with this kind of seething vibe and turns her back to him,without a word being spoken.Full-on,turning away,freezing out,and as she repositions herself,she kind of sways hers hips in this kinda seductive exclamation point at the end of the sentence.No one else at the table is noticing this little beheading going on except me and the dog trainer.She has the tiniest little smile on one side of her lips.I look back at the dog trainer and he is devastated.I know this guy and he is a pushy Leo type,now completely wilted.If I had a Geiger counter it would be going off.She has just fried him.He is speechless.No one else is seeing this but me.I know her husband was friends with the trainer,but I never did ask what it was all about.I was in awe of the whole energy of the exchange.It stays in my memory as an example of the Scorpio freeze out.This happened 15 years ago and I still remember this vividly.One other thing,so many Scorpios out there!Who knew you were all watching so quietly until your question was asked.
Thank you, Elsa! I wasn’t tryin to villify Scorpios, just balance out what I’d been reading for several months! My MIL really isn’t crazy; she’s just a very extreme version of the negative Scorpio’s tendency to judge too quickly then stubbornly stick to it because, well, she sees it as a sign of weakness to back down & admit she was wrong (or even that she MIGHT have been wrong)! She’s actually turned out to be a very good-hearted person who just has a rather extreme & overly fearful reaction to anything (or anyone) she considers a threat, for whatever reason.
Having had a negative Scorpio mom who ended up cutting herself off from everyone in her life (except me) via that same stubbornness, I’ll admit I’m a bit oversensitized to the overly quick judgement and almost gleeful freezing out that can be found in a negative Scorpio/8th house/Pluto-influenced person.
BTW, just for the heck of it, yesterday I asked one of the other Scorpios I mentioned in my post (… who’s been despising/rejecting all things & persons Swedish for decades now due to what she HEARD about the film “I Am Curious[Yellow]”) whether she’d consider ever buying anything from IKEA – she said she absolutely wouldn’t; it’s a SWEDISH company! 😀
Umm – this may be surprising – both my Scorpio mother and step-mother have done the same, shunning / making a scene over houseguests. It’s kind of funny from my perspective because I could see how they acted (including those times they were civil to houseguests) and what they said / really felt after they left. Reality: they don’t want dreaded outsiders who haven’t passed a security check in their homes. It added a special spice (read: distrust) knowing my step-mother was doing the same thing (racking me and my sister over the coals) when we weren’t in front of her.
Well, come to think of it, she did it when we *were* there too, when she couldn’t contain her venom…
Venus, Moon, Neptune conjunct in Scorpio for me. I think that most (not all) Scorpio’s have this ability to see straight through a person’s facade thereby eliminating the need to build relationships based on superficial needs. They just don’t have the ability to live on the surface so when it comes time to end a relationship there is no other recourse but amputation. I mean, really, what is the purpose of hanging on to an arm that has gangrene? I can see that is is rotten beyond reform. The person next to me can smell it and the next door neighbor has already alerted the neighborhood to my condition. What’s left to do?
Ahhh, Scorpio’s are realistic and not afraid of the truth I’d dare to say. I don’t see it as “freezing” one out or even being mean. It is just not a healthy habit to hang on to parts that are causing the rest of the body harm….and a Scorpio understands the effects of festering decay like no one else.
I like amputation. It is clean, quick and healthy for all involved…whether they know it or not at the time.
While I feel for those on the receiving end of the scalpel I can only wonder what compels them to put themselves “under the knife”?
What do you think, Elsa?
Nobody asked me but I decided this topic isn’t dead. 🙂
Part of the issue with this amputating phenomenon is there’s other people involved besides the two in a relationship .. like, children. I remember the quiet tow-headed boy of one of my friend’s married to a Scorpio looking out the window waiting for his dad to come home .. and his dad wasn’t going to come home, he had wandered off and impregnated another woman. (Or was it two? I don’t remember all the florid details of the relationship unraveling – but eventually it dispersed with a bang.) First he put them into debt via his purchasing ‘services’ at s&m sex parlors.
Still .. that friend wanted to keep the Scorpio. I don’t understand it either. They leave a void and I think it’s natural, human, to take the step into it and towards them.
Who has tips / techniques for not stepping into the void (I suspect they’re getting energy when you do that you know)? Think I’ll need them for Pluto transiting the 7th.
i have a scorpio ascendant, sun in scorpio conjunct pluto in the 12th house. i had to cut off people from my life from time to time, most of them i was able to heal, although things were never the same as they started.
jesus helped me to open my heart to possibility of almost complete forgiveness. when i found my life was lacking direction, it was by calling jesus into my heart that things started to lighten up. i bagan to think and pray for those who dont eat, those who are ill, etc. yes, i do find this corny when i’m back to my normal state. but in these brief moments, i seem to no longer think about those who have done me wrong or i dont like, etc. it is like i’m temporarily released from all my hatred and all i want is peace.
Just curious: Why does scorpio tolerate so much crap that they eventually need to amputate in such a dramatic way? Why not just ask for the offensive behavior to stop when it occurs, and save themselves a lot of abuse (and the other person the pain of amputation)? It seems that scorpio tends to create the ideal conditions for amputation to be an appropriate response. Cause and effect?
As a Virgo Sun with Pluto conjunct my Sun in my 8th house, with Mercury, Mars, and Pluto in my 8th, Gemini Moon squared to Pluto. And Venus, Jupiter, and Neptune in Scorpio……
I guess we think people should intuit when we need our space. I froze a friend out because she was trying to man handle me and she acted like a werebeast! I could not take anymore and that was that! Over…done….!
Plutonians don’t truly do the confrontational thing like fire signs. We slink off to rage in private and act like the offender does not exist anymore. We rant and rage and possible smash things in private, but put on a straight face for the public eye. And we do want the people around us to read our minds, body language, etc. Because we can definitely read others.
Goodness this is so true, your statements and how Scorpio will eventually cut off the ties to those who have caused them enough grief. And in answer to the last comment from Ana, as to why we tolerate so much that we eventually need to amputate in such a dramatic and final way?
Because we must. Sensitive water signs can absorb so much shock, so much upheaval, so many intrusions and acquiesce seemingly forever without end, like the rivers which unceasingly flow into the ocean, or the lake where you can throw rocks and more rocks and still the lake stands unhindered after the ripples subside.
Yet there is a limit to everything. At times it is necessary to dam the river to keep from drying up. And the dam once erected will not give way so easily as much thought was given to putting it in place.
It is wise to not push your luck with a Scorpion since they keep tabs on the factors weighing against your favour and once a bridge is burned, there is no turning back.
I am in the process of freezing someone out at this time, and yes, it is difficult on my part.
A new-found cousin, about four years ago,from Sweden who has visited already twice, announced a few days ago, via internet, that she was planning a “one week or so” trip to us in May. We didn’t mind meeting the first or second time, but it is really an inconvenience on our family. She didn’t even consider that we didn’t want her to visit and put us out again, and now for a whole week.
Besides the inconvenience, she (She’s a November Sagittarius) is totally obnoxious. She brags, isn’t interested in a two-way conversation, and is quite insulting to me.
I think part of her problem is that “European Snobbery” so prevalent over there. While here, she made a plain ordinary chicken dinner, held it up on a platter, and acted as though we had never seen real food. When she stopped at my house, she asked me to turn my computer on, then proceeded to teach me how to use it; I had had a computer for over 12 years at that time. I politely let her teach me. In fact, I have been politely letting her be who she is. She emailed me to have me clean up an English version of her bio. It took me 12 hours. Then she informs me that she writes English very good. Grrrr! Could have fooled me. She bakes bread, sends a pic, and the recipe–of course assuming I had never baked bread, which having been a house wife for 30 years, I have and do bake quite well thank you.
Anyway, my father was really upset at the thought of her visiting again. He would have felt obligated to pick up her hotel costs and commented, “I feel like this just fell out of the blue and the worse part, I’m the one who will have to entertain her for a week.”
What did I do? After a day or so of fretting about this, I just decided to be honest (well not entirely honest–that would have been really cruel). I e-mailed her and told her that this trip to the US is not possible at this time and gave her a variety of honest reasons. Told her that if our situation here changes at some point in the future, we could maybe plan a trip for her.
Afterwards I deleted her from my e-addresses. I will no longer answer her e-mails. She cut off!
Just found this topic (I need to spend more time exploring this site)….
I have the ability (as I think most Scorpios do) to compartmentalize aspects of my life: things get stuffed into a compartment and left there until I have the time (or desire) to open it back up and deal with it. Some compartments stay sealed up for a very long time. It is a coping mechanism I learned (discovered?) while very young.
I have placed several people/relationships, including family members, into sealed compartments. It was never something done impulsively. As Victoria stated, there was no other alternative: I felt my survival — emotional and mental — was at stake.
As far as it being done abruptly… well it may appear so to the other people involved but there’s always significant history behind the decisions. And yeah, we’d drag all the crap out and re-hash it over and over and never get anywhere. When people are irrational and can’t hear what you’re saying, what’s the point in continuing?
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. –Albert Einstein
Wow!! I had no idea Freezing was such a universal Scorpio technique. I guess I have seen my mother(scorp sun, pluto in the 8th) freeze people out of her life for years, but I never connected it with what I do. I have Sun, moon, mercury, venus, and mars in Scorpio, so it’s hard for me to define were the Scorpio energy is coming from sometimes.
Freezing is most defiantly a tool of survival and self preservation. I use to feel guilty about doing it, but I have grown to realize it’s best for everyone involved if I do what I need to do.
For me, Freezing gives me the time and space I need to cool down, and sort out the feelings that lead to the freeze.. The time and space help me to refrain from descending into petty power trips, or doing something I might regret, etc… when the wounds are still raw. It also allows the Scorpio time to re-define themselves…..
I like to think of it as putting myself in cold storage. Most people I have frozen over the years were only blocked out of my life wile I healed and came to terms with my feelings. In recent years I have warned romantic partners and very close business associates at the beginning of the relationship that complete isolation and cutting off all communication is how I operate when I am extremely wounded…. But I also add that I am usually open to re-defining the relationship down the road, when I am ready…… I am close friends or on speaking terms with most of my ex-lovers. Good friends are hard to find and life is too short to hold a grudge forever(is that Jupiter in the 1st speaking??)…..
So I read many of the comments here and although there certainly are some valid points being made, I really don’t think this general “rule of thumb” applies to all Scorpions. As they say, it all depends on the specific chart and personal transits.
“Freezing out” is a final tactic reserved for when totally finished with someone because you consider them a wasted investment of your precious time and energy as in a total write-off. So you cut your losses, and carry on with your life as if they never existed in the first place.
I don’t think that “freezing out” is a temporary measure at all. Leave this feeble cop-out manoeuver to the unevolved Scorpion who is not yet aware of how to deal with a hurtful situation in true Scorpionic fashion.
As a triple Scorp with Moon, Pluto and Scorpio rising I haven’t too much experience with people wasting my time but admittedly have been hurt a couple times very badly.
I didn’t “freeze” those ladies out. That would have been too easy. Plus it would have been the easy way out for them. Do you really think a Scorpion would let someone who has hurt them badly off so easily? Hardly.
When people hurt you, betray your sacred trust or abuse your love and friendship, the thing to do is hang around the sidelines in the shadows for awhile. Let them think that you froze them out by making yourself somewhat scarce, yes, but remain everpresent and in control behind the scenes. Your spirit lingers. Your invisible presence and ominous energy remains unscathed. Your ghost succumbs to wreaking continual havoc veiled in at times subtle, at times outrageous, activity executed at inopportune occasions.
For it follows that when these offending parties expect you to freeze them out, you are doing them a favor by doing so. This is not revenge, this is foolishly fulfilling their expectation!
The evolved Scorpion never plays to another trumpeter’s tune. A true lone wolf, the Scorpion marches to the beast (beat) of his own drummer. They devise their own strategy and avoid the obvious. They lurk in the shadows of subtility and seductive selective madness.
The whole idea is that your traitors and abusers feel false security in thinking you will not bother with revenge and that you will forget the matter by simply “freezing them out.”
No, as a bonafide certified triple Scorpion (quadruple if you include my ascendant) I believe the best way to deal with such horrible people is to torment them. Aim below the belt. Knife behind the back. Get them where they deserve it, when they least expect it.
Get these mortal offenders so paranoid, they are constantly expecting you to pop out of the shadows and out of the murky water like a gator lurking in the slime of their subconscious ready to devour.
This is the time to disappear and do more important things and carry on with your life with more worthy individuals. You can always return to check up on the abhorrent offenders at a later date and more convenient time. At which point you can monitor their stress and anxiety-o-meter and devise an even more poisonous and deadly arrow to hit the mark, again, waiting for the moment they least expect it.
This cycle can continue for however long you wish. Remember, the true Scorpio is a master of manipulation and control. I will never date or ask a Scorpio woman out for this reason. No matter how attractive or sensual or sexual she may be it is simply not worth the headache.
And because she is a woman, she will beat the Scorpio man at his own game as she is master of it. Women do not play fair. To the male mind, the female response is entirely emotional and frequently irrational. Simply put, she will catch you off guard and manipulate you to fulfill her own pleasure in beating you at your own game.
(Re: Jupiter in the 1st house, well that just means you are big on yourself or have an exaggerated overinflated self-image)
“Remember, the true Scorpio is a master of manipulation and control.”
First Degree Burn,
I don’t disagree with your statement I quoted above, but I think the expression of manipulation and control can take many forms in expressing Scorpio energy.
I love to manipulate material objects and transform them into art or functional objects. I prefer to bend people to my will using genuine kindness and honesty.
As for control, I prefer to exert control over my self, and my reactions to hurtful situations.
I have preformed a few perminant amputations over the years. I have no regrets because the people I froze out of my life were holding me back or damaging to me.
When I freeze someone at the end of a relationship it’s for the purpose of coming back to myself and giving me space so I don’t act out in a way I might regret. I have great respect and love for most of the women I have had romantic relationships with. In most cases my love for my ex’s has never gone away. It just transformed from romantic intimate love, to universal/friend love. For me, holding a grudge, and seeking retribution or revenge is a waste of my energy. It does not feed my soul to punish people for hurting me. The way I see it, it takes two to tango and when two people choose to be in a relationship they are choosing to open themselves up to each other. If you end up getting hurt, or betrayed, those are consequences of choosing to open up to that person. Betrayal sucks, but we have a choice in how we react to it. I do have instincts to punish/sting people when they hurt me, but my experience has taught me it’s an inefficient use of my energy, and does more damage than good…
I also believe “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” -Mahatma Gandhi
“(Re: Jupiter in the 1st house, well that just means you are big on yourself or have an exaggerated overinflated self-image)” quoting First Degree Burn
No doubt! I do think highly of myself!! 🙂
I’m a Scorpio rising with Pisces Sun and Jupiter in the first house. I used to freeze people out when i was younger all the time. Im known for it but I feel not without good reason and always at the end of my tether about dealing with something that doesn’t change despite trying many different ways. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learnt more mature creative ways of dealing with people but at the time that was all I knew. In one easy step my problem was solved. Good bye. It was definitely a self preserving mechanism. I probably still do it but in much more subtle ways, just ignoring someone when they speak is freezing them out in my opinion. I think highly of myself but I also think as highly of other people so feel its ok.
Yep I freeze people out simply by giving them the stink eye and then ignoring them. They can FEEL they are not wanted in my presence, and so they amputate themselves. But I don’t let people walk on me anymore nor do I tolerate their BS. If I have a issue I speak my mind about it. That’s why people think Scorpio’s are mean, because we speak our minds and it comes off as rude. A scorp does NOT care if you think they are rude. We gave you or opinion, take it or leave it.
“complete isolation and cutting off all communication is how I operate when I am extremely wounded…. But I also add that I am usually open to re-defining the relationship down the road, when I am ready……”
Does this occur when someone intentionally hurts you or when their presence triggers pain in you for some unrelated reason, past issues, etc.? Just curious, as this happened to me twice last year. As much as I have thought it over I cannot find anything I could have done to either of them. Both wanted to be close to me for a long time and I was slow/cautious to let them in and once I did things were great…then they both got scared or something, shut down and left with no explanation. Perplexed me (and hurt me) to no end. But I guess it is to be expected as I currently have Pluto transiting my moon in the 7th.
Re: Jupiter in the 1st – it’s good to think highly of oneself 😉
Ana,
I have amputated people out of my life without communicating anything, but when I do this it is someone who seriously wronged me.
When I freeze someone out at the end of a romantic relationship I communicate my intentions and reasoning behind them.
When it comes down to it, we all handle things in different ways. I was raised by pacifists, and my dad encouraged me to study Buddhist and Sufi philosophy starting at age 12, so a lot of my coping mechanisms are rooted in a philosophy of non-violence and not harming others……
I really think this is a more complex issue than simply freezing someone out. Eventually that ice will melt(metaphorically), don’t forget Scorpio is a water sign. I think the hard task is figuring out when people should be forgiven. I have experienced having people really hurt me, unintentionally or no, and then try to come back in my life, no communication whatsoever for many years, once I was doing really really well, and I assume they wanted somthing from me… What more could I possibley have that you haven’t already taken?!! The funny thing is I usually let them back in, as long as there is no foul play… that is I errect firm boundaries and then don’t allow them any closer. I can admire your seek for answers on a spiritual level, as somtimes i feel that this is the only place answers will be found.
Des,
I learned how to forgive and let go and process my anger over a 15+ year period. I know what it’s like to sting people and take revenge when someone betrays me, but I never found these effective tools in getting my needs met. Hurting people that hurt me just made me hurt more… I have a lot of empathy, it’s a blessing and a curse… I feel pain I inflict on others, and it sucks… The empathy also facilitates forgiveness, because I can understand were the other person is coming from, or at least I try to. I also strongly believe in the golden rule, “treat others as you would like to be treated.”…..
I don’t allow every person I forgive back into my life. I won’t forget what the person did, But I won’t hold on to the anger associated with the incident…. we are all human and we all fuck up, so it goes….. unprocessed/repressed emotions are like thrones in my being, I will feel it until I deal with it…
Scorpio rising. I don’t freeze people out much, but once we’re done, we’re done. I think the only person I’ve consciously tried to freeze in the last five years is my last ex, because despite him being a Scorpio, he e-mails me yearly. And I just don’t want to know how badly he is doing any more. I e-mailed him back once when I was in a good mood and have regretted doing it ever since. I should have stonewalled better.
My most painful freeze out was by an Aquarian, but it was pretty similar to Elsa’s in that I was clearly smothering and clingy and crazy and well, deserved to get the freezeout. I can’t blame him, really, though I certainly hated him for years on end.
jj you say it:
“Scorpio freezing is SELF PRESERVATION folks! We give more than others, that’s why people take more and if the taking becomes excessive and unbalanced, your health and sanity could be on the line.”
That’s exacly the scorpio point.
I’m a scorpio mars and I did amputate.
I amputated my own father because his issues were mirroring mine. I’ts terrible.
When the energy between me and the other goes downward, I see the end is coming, and I do it myself.
I was amputated as well, and even tough I can assume there was a reason, I do wish it didn’t happen.
truth is : being amputated by a scorpio hurts ( more than getting the same treatment from other) because it always means something.
other sign might just lose theyr interest on you or they might be too much in to themself.
The scorpio stays with you because and as long as he understands YOU.
And it hurts to be taken away such a gift.
I have Scorpio rising conjunct Neptune and will amputate if I feel it is my only possible escape route, but I don’t generally let things devolve to that point if I can help it. Funny, right now I am going thru a forced amputation from my mother-in-law who’s got Scorpio moon as part of a grand cross in her chart. But amputating people from her life seems to be a recurrent theme for her.
I am a scorpio rising. Question: Why do you stop eating at a meal at a certain point? Because you’re done. You usually have no feelings about being done, you just know you don’t want anymore. Thus, how it is with me. It’s usually a pretty emotionless process, though I feel bad that I don’t feel worse. I’ve hurt people this way, and they’ve done the whole victim thing. Maybe justifiably. But if I’m done, I’m done and I really don’t feel like trying to care anymore.
How’s that for cold?
I’m only speaking for myself and as a Plutonian (though I do have Juno and Uranus in Scorpio), but if any so-called friend decides to make me a target of drama (even just implying nasty things about me but not said out loud), I amputate, end of story. Some times this has to do with a number of previous issues I’ve had with them though, but my tolerance of asshatery is very low, especially after my Saturn Return.
I don’t think Plutonians or Scorpios always do at last resort, and I think a lot of the times has to do with a mixture of difficulty of verbalizing all the issues they had with the other person (fo r me it sometimes takes years), and a desire to avoid future conflicts, which would be very nasty if they held on to those relationships.
(Pluto aspecting Sun, Moon, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Ascendant, Midheaven, Eros, Eris, Ixion, and etc; Saturn, Vesta, Orcus, Amor in the 8th house)
Scorpio rising – I ampute people who don’t understand. The last one was supposed to be my friend. Yet she thought I would arrange a meeting and not show up. she was the one who changed at the last moment the place and didn’t even bother check if I was where we agreed.So I was stand waiting in cold. Before that I amputed my mother – there’s not forgiveness here. You hurt me well right back at you. I rather be alone than with mean or stupid people!
I also “would rather be alone than with mean and stupid people”….and I do not see anything wrong with it.
I have not said anything before on this blog so I would love to do so now!
As an Aries I have a tendency of minding my own business. I have also been in the middle of a bad Pluto transit and several Saturn ones so that’s the only business I can and should mind. So when I lived with a Sagittarius + heavy, heavy Scorpio influence I was fast to cut myself off from that before the living situation was even over.
She wanted total control of the household and was a non-master at lying right out of her teeth when the lying would “preserve” her at that given moment. She definitely set up an veil of invisibility in the household. My Cancer boyfriend could not come in sometimes because the vibe was so nasty.
Anyway, throughout that whole situation I never understood what she had against me. It only started when we lived together. We were friends before. But later she let me know. It was just simple things to do with the way that I live, which have little to no effect on her, especially when we barely had the same schedules. I guess I am a no bullshit kind of gal. I had cut off any business in the household and used it for sleeping. Eventually I found that wasting anymore energy on her and the house was bad for me as I was struggling with college classes, my art (which suffered) and working as much as possible.
At the end it blew up because her lies came back at her. I ended up losing a few bucks out of it but overall I came out okay (but have been needing to take ample time to recover, to make sure I don’t attract someone else the same again.)
Sadly, the details of everything are too long! I am 22 and this is the last person I am living with for a long time. Just think of every “roommate” thing that may bother someone.
I guess the Scorpio cutting off or the unexplained unhappiness with someone as a form of self-preservation makes sense. My Scorpio influence is a Mars in the 8th and that’s it. I have done this with people before, oftentimes too late (Mars in Taurus). Her reasoning was pretty cheap and the direct influence of some serious fear of her past. She is a master at cutting people off. But I figure that maybe attempts at “getting me back” would have been better suited if she had something to say to me or think about me that was somehow new or really got at my insecurities.
I guess after dealing with Scorpio influenced people in the past, like my mother, I tend to find their attempts to be humorous and melodramatic. The situation ended with her literally finding any way to kick and scream out the door but was always one step behind. Even though she was not perfect in the house I never thought of mentioning it, I was not bothered. I tend to be a pretty no-bothered kind of person so these kind of things always make me laugh. So much energy wasted!
It was creepy, though. She was a nut-job and a repellent. None of my friends wanted to come to my house! And now that I have moved it’s still hard to get them to come by. Hahaha. I think the worse thing about it all was that I was so quick to check my own stuff throughout the whole thing. The situation taught me that I was not as much of a disaster as I thought I was. Funnily enough. I regret letting her unwarranted anger get the best of me at the beginning. I’d always rather mind my own business.
Afterward I started hanging out with a Scorpio who sticks around with people through the grit, no matter if they frustrate her. She’s the kind of Scorpio who inspires me. People are more apt to cut her off than she them. She is pretty fearless and intense. But then, she has an Aries moon. 🙂
I understand the Scorpio way of handling things and was mainly responding to the comment above from First Degree Burn. I understand that kind of anger mentioned above, my Mars is in the 8th, but I choose to try and curb it in other things such as art, sex, writing, etc. Anytime I have become vengeful I have learned how fruitless it is in the long run.
Scorpios can sure teach you quite a bit about life, though. And that’s always a good thing. 🙂
I have moon conjunct neptune in scorpio and am so sensitive to the processes of the people around me I can get really ill if they’re toxic. But I’m also very empathetic so tend to attract damaged people – you can imagine then the amount of freezing and amputation I’ve had to do in my life. Part of the reason it has to be done without explanation is that I have found these kinds of people become so dependent on your soaking up their crap for them, that if you try to explain why you won’t deal any more, they drag you into yet more scenes designed to drain your energy, they won’t be reasonable about it (because then they’d have to admit they’ve been unreasonable). This moon/neptune aspect also gives me pretty powerful clairvoyant abilities, and I’ve found that if I do explain to people what I won’t tolerate any more, their judgement and criticism and constant chewing over what I’ve said comes back to me clairvoyantly, and even though I’m physically away from them, I’m under attack psychically. So basically, sometimes I’ve just got to amputate, without explanation, to save my health and sanity. What I’m looking at now in myself is BOUNDARIES. Why do I attract these kinds of people and why do I let it get so far that amputation has to happen? Because at the end of the day it seems they don’t actually want help, they want someone to dump on so they can keep avoiding their issues. Maybe it goes both ways, maybe I want them to dump on me so I can keep myself so busy cleaning up other peoples crap I don’t have to look at my own. Hmmmm. After all, if I had any self respect I would not allow it. Anyone got any idea how to set boundaries while remaining empathetic? How to stop users taking advantage of your kind nature- without becoming unkind?
yes, to all. it’s cold and sad and sometimes necessary. and sometimes nobody did anything wrong, really, just one person is a reminder of a time in someone’s life they haven’t reconciled yet and they need to heal, and won’t if the person is around, reopening the wounded memories…
My sister would bring over either a friend or a boyfriend and right away I would know if they were NOT right for my sister. I would freeze out these people my sister associated with. I’d tell her they were no good for these reasons blah blah blah…then when they would come around I’d give them the dirtiest evil eye, tell them if they f*cked with my sister I’d break there knee caps slowly. Now though this may sound not so nice, I was NEVER wrong about these certain people. This bothered my sister incredibly, because deep down she knew I was right and didn’t want to deal with change. Now that I’m older I’m developing a higher vibration of Scorpio and deal with these things differently.
Scorpio rising and sun conjunct mars/pluto. I amputate and have been amputated. It works for me. I see life as energy and in certain situations the energy is just no longer there. Sometime one argument and there was no going back but other times when people have done it to me I see that there was a crisis looming over time – an irritation that was just building. I think some relationships last forever and others fit a period of time in your life and when these end they create a space for new energy to come in. I find it an honest way to operate although I appreciate that for some people it is hard.
I had a scorpio boyfriend last year and when it finished I knew there would be no contact – that I wouldn’t have to worry about that with him and I respected him for that. A year later he passed me on his bike and we had a quick text exchange – glad you looked well etc. It was honest, heart felt and again contained. Nothing since. I like that – its honourable and real.
Wow, what an incredible thread! Putting the proof to the reality of the longstanding “powerful Scorpio” myth.
I’ve had close Scorpio friends over the years, and for long long periods of years, 30 years and longer. I have a strong 8th house myself with Pluto and Mars there. Scorpio friends are only good friends. I have no casual scorpio friends.
Funny the timeliness of this topic/thread for me, though it seems to be recurring and long-lived itself (a scorpionic thread). I have for a long time been negotiating a freeze-out/amputation with a Scorpio friend of 35 years. Yes, I am often a needy type, but he recognizes that I am not always that way. There is so much I could say on this topic! It would fill a small book. My Scorpio friends chose me, for the most part, so I don’t feel the onus of having driven them off. In fact, it still hasn’t happened in any simple way. I lost one potential Scorpio (romantic) friend once, due to his jealousy over a third, Cancer friend. He never hung around to see who I actually preferred.
And in fact, it was a Cancer lady with a Sag rising who once very notably and stingingly froze me out of her life. For my own part, I’ve done the freezing out thing a few times or more. Most significantly with a long standing Aquarius friend, someone who I once or twice felt very needy towards. This Aquarian situation reminds me of the situation Elsa has described elsewhere with her son’s sometime Acquarius friend. The man in question is exceedingly good at making me feel frozen out. I can’t tell you how much. It’s radical though, let me assure you. Still, I’m the one who has amputated him. It feels like my only possible reaction to what they call the “detachment” of acquarius that I have too often found so unbearable.
And let me apologize that there is someone else here called JJ. It’s too confusing. I don’t know who was here first or more consistently, but anyway I’ll be changing my user name when I can think what to change it too.
I’m not a Scorp by Sun, Moon, or Asc, but I do have a strong Mars in 7th in Scorpio (an already strong placement with many, many aspects in my chart that make it much stronger). Scorpio friends are convinced that I’m just another Scorpio. I cut people out mostly out of self-preservation, but after much thought. I have probably already gone through grief/anger/etc of ‘death’ of the friendship/relationship before I even cut the person off. The cutting off actually occurs after I’ve mostly healed. I no longer need them around because I’ve healed – the damage has been done, I don’t need it done again, so goodbye. And cutting off feels bad on my end, but it feels justified and necessary, even though I’m deeply aware of the pain on BOTH ends. I will especially cut if I feel like the pain on my end was much larger. As soon as I realize the other person as toxic, manipulative, etc, they are OUT.
But I do also cut off as a sort of punch in the face, since punching for real would tend to have oneself tossed into jail. I will also cut off in a way that SEEMS like revenge, but I actually do it because I feel the other person is being REALLY stupid and is totally wasting my time, like someone having a bitchfit and is no longer being remotely rational. I have no energy or time for childish tantrums from adults. It’s actually me stopping myself from seriously injuring the other person. If I just pretend they don’t even exist, maybe the desire to kill them because they’re acting like a subhuman will become subdued.
I know right…for ME….the cutting off is best for the person on the other end….why do jail time for the irrelevant?…when I simply prefer to do other things in my life that makes ME Happy and not be bothered with a bunch of crappy people that I know I was great friends and family with…that “switched on me”….that would be a waste of my time and life..
This an addendum to my comment from April of last year which was not intended to spark humour but rather fear and torment. As I read my own words a year later, I am cut to the quick. Amused, amazed and keenly aware that such inexcusable behaviour is bereft of conventional expectations, I continue to “lurk in the shadows of subtility and seductive selective madness” . . . but have fine-tuned my attitude to fit the frame of political correctness.
Little do my coworkers, colleagues and comrades know. After all, they judge the man by his cover.
And we all know Scorpio is the master of veiled intention, a tender, sensitive and passionate soul who hides big teeth behind a blank stare.
What does it mean if a scorpio says they love you. and then you say f*ck you! because you think they are lying and then they say no, they are done denying it and says that the reason they haven’t “lock you off” for good (slang in my country for a freeze out or when you never speak or deal with someone again.) is because they love you. me and this scorpio (romantic, well sexual) relationship. We’ve both betrayed an it is a seemingly toxic relationship