Selkie writes, regarding the stereotypes of the various signs…
“…lots of Scorpios are harsh people who actually greatly enjoy judging others (even people they’ve never even met or talked to); insist on playing seemingly inexplicable games with people for years on end; take pleasure in seeing “certain” (or “certain sorts of”) people punished, and in freezing out the “unworthy,” and who are stubborn to the point of harming both themselves and others – even the people closest to them.”
The comment is out of context so check yourself if it offends you. I wanted to address the phenomena of Scorpio freezing people out. It definitely happens and it’s never been addressed on this blog.
I have been frozen out by a Scorpio. Though I’m not a Scorpio, I have enough in the eighth house I can do a pretty mean impression of one. I’ve learned to freeze people out myself. The act is an act but I would argue the motivation.
Though games are played and Scorpio withholds to manipulate and so forth, most times when Scorpio freezes someone out… amputates I would say, it is almost always an act of self-preservation. I learned this the hard way, which is probably the best way. Here’s the story:
Some years ago I had a Scorpio pal; we were friends, not lovers. He was educated and generous with me. He shared his knowledge, told me jokes, listened to me, kept me cheered and just in general supported me in many ways. He was an outstanding friend and while I always appreciated him, I taxed him greatly. I was immature at the time. I was high maintenance and I just didn’t seem to be able to understand his agony although it was expressed.
He was Jupiter rising like I am and people think we’re buoyant to the core when this is simply not the case. But anyway, he told me and told me and told me that he was suffering, but I just kept coming. I cringe when I write this but whatever. This is what I did and eventually he pulled the plug.
And he didn’t just pull the plug, either. He wrote me a passionate letter to let me know he had thought long and hard about what he was going to do. He said he had been up nights tossing but felt he had no choice but to let me pass… he just could not deal with me.
He apologized though there was not one reason why he should have, other than he knew I would feel feel pain due the separation. And he said nothing at all derogatory. He simply stated his truth. He was in pain and he felt he needed to isolate himself so he could work things through.
This was a number of years ago. I came to understand his position. You can be a kind, generous person and he was. He was mentor type and I know he liked me and valued the interaction as much as I did at one time but I was killing him. I was pretty much his entire inner circle, and while it was not my intention, I was sucking the life right out of the guy. In hindsight I would say I was freakishly greedy and insensitive and in short, this was a friend I deserved to lose.
I have since learned to consciously amputate myself and when I do I always recall the example this guy set. I make sure there is no other option because while I know the other person is going to bleed, I think it comes back on you twice as hard. In other words, though I don’t know, I’m pretty sure his pain was beyond my own.
It’s so painful when this happens in my life I don’t ever want to reattach to anyone who has pushed me to the edge where I had to detach. I just don’t trust them which is the same thing that happened with my friend. I know because I rattled his cage now and then for a number of years. He never responded and I know why. But here’s the point I want to make:
I could go on and on and about how cold this guy was shutting down the way he did. Pooooor Elsa. But fact is I did something that provoked his actions. Matter of fact I did one hundred things that provoked his actions. I’d just say if you find yourself amputated by Scorpio, you might want to check your own stuff. This is especially true if you know them to be an above board type.
Because Scorpio doesn’t (generally) explain, it’s easy to call and consider yourself their victim when you’re anything but. People are human and they have their limits and so many people ask to be cut. They beg and beg for it. They won’t stop until they’ve completely done you in and when you finally make a defensive strike, this is their cue to cry injury. Whatever. I have little sympathy. I have seen the movie only about a million times.
Have you ever been frozen out by Scorpio? Or if you are Scorpio (or a reasonable facsimile) have you ever felt yourself forced to amputate? How’s this feel on your end?
I have an 8th house Sun and Moon and Venus/Pluto. I do this. I have completely shut out every ex I’ve ever had plus a couple of so called friends- they are literally dead to me: obviously they are still alive and walking around in this earth, but my feelings are completely shut off to the point that they might as well be dead, not breathing. I could give not one shit about them. I would not give them one ounce of my energy again for anything unless they gave me 10 times what they ask from me, and then immediately after, it would go right back to them not existing. I agree it is an act of self preservation: these people have bludgeoned all traces of trust I had in them. They have burned me, repeatedly hurt me (i give people multiple chances), they have disrespected me. I have this current issue with an ex and it gets quite complicated when a child is involved, because there are people like current SO’s who for whatever God forsaken reason think you should want to know all about their life for the sake of the children as if I give a rat’s ass what they do together. No. All I care is that my child is safe. I don’t wish to be involved in whatever shenanigans they do together. …she thinks I should be more involved with them as co parents..it bothers her that I don’t ask her about their “adventures” with my child. She says that I should ask HER about their adventures they do while I’m not present so we can “co parent”. As if I don’t know already what kind of life she has. I have already lived it. I do take great interest in whatever my child tells me about his life outside of me. I do ask him and I never had mouth any of them but I could not give a shit less what they say they do. And ah…this bugs her greatly. Do I care? Nope; Dead. To. Me.
“Heather on November 24, 2007 at 9:29 am said:
I have Venus in Scorpio and a lot of Virgo, so I like to serve and I have can handle a lot of dark stuff. But, it does get draining and I have had to let a few people go because I would hold all of their crap and they would leave me hanging with it. … in self-preservation mode, I have to reserve some energy for me and they get cut off.”
I’m a lot like Heather. I have an 8th House Libra Sun with Virgo Ceres sextiling Cancer Vesta. I am a classic fixer-upper/doormat in relationships! After a while, I wonder why I feel so used and unappreciated after all my unsolicited hard rescue work! Don’t these people see the letter “S” emblazoned on my chest? lol I terminated my marriage and several friendships long past their expiration dates as it began to impact my health. I’ve learned to set up guilt-free, appropriate relational boundaries. And, most importantly, offer my assistance ONLY when asked!
This one made me think of my Grandmother (Cancer Sun, Moon Virgo)and her Scorpio Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Son. There was so much hurt and pain between the two of them for years. He would distance himself and his family for a year or so and then come back. (Probably his Sagittarius Moon). Eventually they hurt each other enough that my Grandmother wrote him out of the will. After that he wrote the entire extended family off for good. How sad that my Cancer Grandmother couldn’t see how much she hurt her Scorpio Son, when she treated his children different than the rest of her grandchildren. So now we all carry their pain years after they both have died. So sad.
I like Scorpio’s. I don’t have a lot of 8th H, but I do have planets in Scorpio , so I usually know when to stop provoking the Scorpion/ Eagle.
“Joly63 on April 8, 2016 at 1:20 pm said:
I’m not a Scorpio but I am an eighth house sun so I understand it. I’ve frozen a few people out of my life that I was once very close to. The reason was exactly that … they sucked the life out of me. I didn’t go into explanations with them because they weren’t willing to look at themselves so it would have been a wasted effort on my part. How do I feel? Mostly sad about it, but sad that the relationship between them and me was so unbalanced in the first place.”
AMEN! You are preaching to the choir, Joly63! I have an 8th House Libra Sun and I was the only who petitioned for a divorce which came as a complete “shock” to my ex. I had to take the same steps with abruptly ending a few energy-sucking friendships – my Pisces Moon was drowning in their pain!
Hi Elsa…great article and a fine explanation which clears up an action I, as a Scorpio music teacher/mentor, have performed and always felt bad about. The ones who need spoon feeding always left me drained to the point I wouldn’t/couldn’t pick up my guitar sometimes all evening after one of their ‘lessons’. It’s a relief to know that it’s self preservation and even though I mo longer ‘teach’…I casually mentor; but only seekers who tend to be motivated and in turn motivate me. Thanks again.. …
pax et lux
Bobby Stahr
I’ve dated a Scorpio (another one) who currently has Uranus transiting opposite his Venus. Since this transit has begun he has taken to amputating me and then coming back. Dumping me and then coming back. Over and over and over again. And he’s not doing it for self preservation. I made the mistake of trusting him when I told him I have a serious fear of abandonment and he has continually used it to manipulate and own me. It’s gotten so bad that I made very clear to him the last time he did this to me that if he ever pulled this crap on me again, I would do something so incredibly damaging to his life and his reputation to all who know him that he better be serious and stick this time. And as predicted, off he ran. All silence. For weeks and just before my birthday (he likes to do it right before my birthday) but I don’t make idle threats. I have contacted him and he now knows that I fully intend to follow through with my threat. He’s mulling it over. Either way, I could give two shi** that he’s a Scorpio. I’m an 8th house Leo Sun and Mercury and Virgo Venus. No one f***s with me any more and gets off Scott free. He’s terrified and has told me as much. He should be. Because my birthday is a week away, and his destruction is the gift I give to myself. …I don’t take kindly to manipulation.
I also have Pluto transiting my first house and Pluto in Libra, right on top of his Venus. Scorpios don’t scare me and they shouldn’t constantly be spoken of in such a way as to give their sign more power or severity than any other. His Scorpio games worked on me for awhile, but only because I chose to see the best in yet another Scorpio POS (sorry to those of you that are not that way). It’s his loss, not mine. I learned what Scorpio stuff he was made of and I’m all the better for it… So that I can knowingly escape him and his manipulations and he can be all alone in his little Scorpio cavern, quivering, too afraid to come out into the light. He’ll be the one who suffers in the end. He can amputate all he wants, but no one can be as destructive as a lion ready to rip you apart. I don’t accept amputation. It’s cruel and emotionally abusive. There’s another word for amputation and it’s “abandonment”. There is no power in abandonment. Only cowardice. And unlike the scorpio, the lion doesn’t hide. I’m in plain view and make no secret about my intention to go for the jugular. Which, as he himself said, “makes him sick with worry and terrifies him beyond belief”. …as it should. The thought of it brings me nothing but pleasure.
It sounds like a classic clash Leo/Scorpio clash.. Leo are all heart and Scorpio are all soul… there are no winners here… certainly a Scorpio will always haunt the heart of the Leo ex.. heartache ahead..
Yet here you sounding like a wounded cat with its tail between its legs …still phased and whimpering after the Scorpio sting. We only amoutate when it’s well deserved. Scorpios love being alone in our dark cavern so don’t for a second think it is punishment . Once we amputate, you no longer exist but the cut will always remain for you.
Wow…never seen so much open admittance of vengeful petty motives. If I recall, scorpio is the sign of transformation. The totem animal changes based on how evolved the scorpio is on their path. The mighty phoenix does not hold grudges or freeze people out. They transcend the situation n learn where the problem behavior needs adjustment…hence the deep thinking sharp mind. Problem solvers with penetrating solution. These blog answers are an archive of all the ways scorpio fail their karmic tests. The ego needs to die before the phoenix can take fought into the ether
Well said!!! I’m reading the comments like, ‘where’s the accountability and self reflection for such behavior?’
It’s deeply hurtful and a bit sadistic to ice someone out and then say it was well deserved. Unless it is communicated in ax way much Lille Elsa’s friend did, that shits abuse!!! Periodt!
My youngest son has a lot of Scorpio. He has Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter in Scorpio. When he cares about someone or loves them he does it to the depth of his soul. It is 100%. He feels more deeply than any other person I’ve ever met. The thing I’ve noticed about him is if someone comes to him honestly and “with their heart in their hands” he will treat that person as if they were the most precious thing in the world. When he connects he connects with his mind, heart, and soul.
However, I have seen him walk away from people and break off all communication when they hurt him deeply. I have known many Scorpios in my life and I think my son pretty much sums up my experiences with other Scorpios. They are some of the most emotionally honest people I’ve ever met. When you are loved by a Scorpio you are loved completely and deeply.
Wow, this was so long ago. I am in the same boat with a Sun Gemini/Moon Pisces. I am a Sun Pisces/Moon Scorpio. I have completely cut her out of my life because she was extremely selfish and would only call or hang out when she was depressed. It sucked the life out of me, but I understood. The last straw was when she kept telling me to “try this guy” or “try this other one” all guys she had slept with. I am not like that. She introduced me to this gentleman whom I fell in love with. Fast forward 10 months and he tells me that they had sex years before he met me. Friends don’t do that to friends and I completely cut her right out, yet she still doesn’t know why, but she is dead to me.
i have this scorpio friend. we were very close. spoke daily on the phone and texts. we got along extremely well. then one day she started distancing herself slowly..more and more. fast forward a few months later:if I don’t reach out, I don’t hear from her. she never calls. hasn’t for months. it’s not like we got in an argument, or I upset her. it’s like one day her love (friendship love) for me was gone
Complicated story, am a pisces man, was in a relationship with a scorpio woman, we were both young..almost certainly the most intense relationship of my life, we both thought of each other as ‘soulmates’ after 3 years I was forced to live some distance away, we say each other every weekend, the connection didn’t fade. She started a new job, had some guy hitting on her, I didn’t know..guess it was new, exciting. Went with it, kissed him, full of remorse, upset, apologies…loved me. Was so confused, thought she was young, maybe had to just let her go, make up her mind. Told me we would be back together when we could be, that she would love me forever. I went away..dealt with the knowledge she was with someone else as best I could, tried to hold back my emotions, told myself not to throw blame around, create pain. Met up months later for our ‘anniversary’ so painful, same thing, we’d be together when it ‘was right’…last thing I saw was her crying and saying she loved me through a train window…never saw her again. Got a phone call, couple of months later, the ‘I love you’s’ continued throughout this time, cold as ice, its over…no emotion, no care, finished. Wouldn’t even see me when I went to see her in person. Felt so unbelievably cruel. Got the impression I was viewed as ‘needy’ by this stage, when I’d taken all the pain of thinking of her with someone else on my own back.
Got on with life for a few years, and no-one entered my world who moved me like that again. Had a few relationships, but couldn’t invest or commit. Went to another country, ten years, travelled coast to coast, met a lot of people, found friends along the way, one person who I loved, but very differently, wanted to lookafter them because they were hurting, never forgot the scorpio girl…always told me she would ‘die for me’…so hard to forget. Now I’m back. Part of me wants to write and say, this is the way its always been for me, I always hoped I would see you again. Part of me still hurts from the freeze…I don’t think I could ever have done that myself..but I understand that everyone reacts differently, she froze me because otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to go on. Part of me doesn’t write for ‘fear’ of saying the wrong thing, and taking the double hurt of another freeze. Part of me wants to say, this is what you did..thinking I’ll probably engage her anger/annoyance – but maybe its closure and I can hit the road again, knowing its destroyed beyond repair. I’ve never felt such horrible conflicting emotions my whole life, I hate conflict, I try and care for everyone, I never looked back at anyone I left behind ever before..impossibly hard. Suggestions ?
yes this exactly my story. i’m telling you close enough. We were made for each other. You know exactly what i’m talking about. I’m a scorpio female and he was a pisces. Together for over a year. He moved to a different state bc he had to and i also started a very new job. We talked from time to time. We weren’t sure what we wanted but we always had this crazy deep bond. i am in the middle of the break up still, it’s only been a month. I actually seemed to freeze him out, out of no where. He plays a lot of games and i fall for him all the time. I finally accepted the break up and noticed i can’t control what has changed. He lives far away. He won’t be back for a while or ever. It was hard to let go but i couldn’t string on the pain and keep hoping. i do love him but i think we need to figure out selfs out. We were so head over heels for the relationship we lost ourself. I believe our bond is always ganna be there and i do hope one day we are better for one another.
Sad story but you are so so right Elsa. Amputation is always an act of self-preservation for Scorps. It’s a ‘defensive strike’. Thanks for putting it in the right prospective.
lol instead of complaining and analyzing your Scorpio Moon, maybe you should analyze yourself and look at what you’ve done to hurt your friend so much…as a Scorpio Moon myself, I can say that we are extremely loyal and great friends and would not cut someone out of our lives unless they’re severely hurt and taken advantage of us over and over and over again…
to say that you have no sympathy, clearly states that your friend made the right decision
You didnt have a friendship at that point. That was a long series of stings. Think back to when your friendship first started. It was completely different right? What happened between then and the first sting.
I know Scorpio/8th house can amputate to get even, but ever thought that sometimes, Scorpio amputation may have to do with transformation?
When a Scorpio is in the process of transforming or after it has transformed, they shun the energy that used to be incorporated into their former being. (Scorpios/8th housers literally merge energy with others) To allow themselves to experience the energy again, would be like killing the person they are becoming or have become…. it hurts too much to go back, so they person becomes dead to them, unable to ever get back in. Impossible because Scorpio a new person. Just a thought.
So I then bumped into your blog, coz I recently got a subtle tension with an Aunt who happens to be Scorpio-Libra Cusp. I hate to say this, but she’s pretty much a devolved scorpio type. Grumpy, greedy and secretive. I have always believed that when people get old, they become wiser and evolved, but not this Scorpio aunt. She has been worse than ever. Even if she won’t speak, you would feel her vibe, and to be honest I get really irritated by it. I couldn’t really blame her. Basically the family she came from was dysfunctional to begin with. She and that Pisces Aunt are just toxic. One day, I am hoping I could get rid of them. Just nasty draining toxicity. Manipulative and bully.
And another one, two years ago, I froze out a scorpio woman coz she dysfunctional as well. She was a very jealous and self-important. She just wants to compete with friends and wAnts to ace out on them. She wanted everyone to focus on her. If she doesn’t get what she wants from a certain person, she decimates the person through manipulation and falsities such as baseless rumors. And its weird coz she’s just the most ruthless and unsympathetic scorpio I’ve ever met. I got fed up with her shit and so I cur her off. She still lurks around me and even attempted to lace around my circle. But just no. Lol I killed her in my life just like that.
Then there’s this very special Scorpio friend I had. He was really nice to me. He’s been there with me throughout, but I’ve been doing things that kind of really tore his trust and couldnt blame him, I mean was too playful and didnt realize my mischievousness already hurt him. It was already too late but I understand him and so I let him go.
By the way I am a plutonian in scorpio.
Funny article. You said you were taxing on him? Wow! Someone beat the Scorpio at their own game? Good job Elsa! If you didn’t have the upper hand… and come in with that uppercut. That Scorpio would of sized you up in no time… I never met a Scorpio that didn’t try and manipulate their prey in some sort of manner.
Elsa, I’m a pisces and have been frozen out by a Scorpio man. He is my soulmate. When we kissed for the first time it rocked my.world and I cried that someone could make me feel to secure. We remained friends and then he came to see me in April and after that it went horribly wrong. He said he was busy and I got mad and then eventually he cut me off. I miss him everyday. I truly believe we are meant to be. Will he wake up and realise that I was the one that would have loved him the way he needs?
I wish you the best of luck. Ive been frozen out by my ex scorpio for nothing. It was his own lies. that burnt him. His revenge for what ever good it did for him hurt my badly. Im a Leo woman that doesn’t play games. He was my best friend at least i thought he was until i found out his truth. Drugs, alcohol, pimping, communication seller it all was what he is. Im still trying to figure out wtf happened. I let go. I had to. The best kisser and liar I’ve ever meant in my life. Just remember your own worth.
I’m sorry this happened to both of you! Shelly, coming from a Scorpio woman here, who’s been with a man who was a drug addict, PLEASE try to forget the good memories and stay away from this man. It isn’t worth it. I’ve had my ex drug addict completely take me down with him because of good memories. One almost lead to my arrest just because I was living with him while we was doing these illegal things and I had no idea of this. Mourn the loss – but I hope you let this one go!
Finally, someone gets it!I am so happy to see I am not the only one.
Unfortuately, I have had to cut others from my life. I didn’t really want to because it was a drama. To me, it was a survival instinct, they were killing me with their unspoken abusive feelings towards me. They would say one thing on the surface and feel another thing subconsciously and I was experiencing their negativity. You can’t make people be self aware or compassionate, so I had to remove myself from their orbit…or cut them off, whatever…for my own mental, physical and emotional health.
My ex cut me off Fiona but it should’ve been the other way around, to hide yourselves from being vulnerable is such a exhausting process putting up with the deflections , lies to control the situation but you are all walking contradictions exempting yourselves from this behaviour but shit scared your partners potentially will be..
It’s just exhausting
I understand all people do that to a certain degree but some people don’t even make an effort and are really lacking self awareness.
i guess the only scorpios i know have fire energy in them mostly,
so they dont like negativity and when they come across too much of that, they will cut off. Pisces usually is their trine and pisces gives good illusion and love/exalted in venus and hates negativity too. If ever their sextile earth signs get together with water,they gotta have water too, or too much negativity is painful. and to be too controlling. controlling is a no-no. from what i have noticed. I have seen them cut off family if too much negativity and controlling behaviour.
back to this, and re-reading topic, yes high maintenance is a no-no. My husband even said i’m very low maintenance and once we were at his colleague’s party to celebrate housewarming and i bought gifts and they were curious about me, the lady and her hubby both balked at what i said that i was super low maintenance!! she said that’s awful thing to say about yourself. lol she felt that high maintenance is good. i get what she meant as she is high maintenance herself and her husband doesnt mind. Super cool people, but we aren’t close to them. My husband doesn’t want to be close to them much either; we have our super close friends and family.
I’m too am a Scorpio. I can say that Scorpios usually doesn’t cheat and that’s big to us in relationships. We rather cut ties then to cheat and if we do cheat you’ll know why whether you say or not but rarely. Even slight thought we catch in ya behavior that may lead to you cheating tho is enough for us to go cold on you. You can call it jealous or controlling but it is what is. We aren’t cruel, shut off, jealous or anything they say in a negative manner. We in fact have positive feedback for the negative traits they deem us to have. If we are jealous — relationship wise then when we display it though some may take it as insecure it’s just our way of saying “Hey I don’t want to lose you”. Even tho some may never view it that way. I believe we are hopeless romantics, so when we are wronged in a relationship of any sort it makes us cold towards you or the doer.
There were two times where I was cut out by a Scorpio (both were Scorpios) and I deserved it! Just being blunt (1st house stellium). I don’t know anyone who is that clean and hasn’t been a little dirty, if you want to find someone with armpits as clean as Clorox, go ahead! Some people are sociopaths and deserve to be cut out, but there are times where the Scorpio is just being overly proud. It happens, but I do see that the other half of the time Scorpios are right in their assessment of others! 🙂
I’m a Capricorn female, Aquarius Moon, Taurus Rising. I generally keeps people at arm’s length and it takes a very long time for me to open up to others. My circle is very tiny.
My heart had been hurt by a Libra man and I didn’t date anyone else for nearly a year. I poured myself into my work, family, and friends, and stayed away from men.
Then this handsome Scorpio man pursued me – HARD – despite my walls. He was kind, sweet, patient, well-traveled, and romantic. Our connection was really strong from the beginning. He listened to everything I had to say for hours. He was such a gentleman and never let me lift a finger. His kisses were the best I ever had. He swept me off my feet on our first date.
As soon as I began to fall for him, after about three weeks of texting all day, calling every day, and seeing each other twice weekly, he began to distance himself and pull away. I asked him if he needed space and before I could finish my sentence, he immediately told me he did not need any space. Yet he seemed emotionally unavailable.
He had a million questions for me – and wanted to know about all about my life, but hardly responded to my questions about him and his life. He either had one word answers or would change the subject. The worst part is when he would be silent in response.
Before the three week mark, he would text me everyday to say good morning and good night. He would text me first and respond to my texts immediately throughout the day. He seemed so invested in finding out whatever problem I had and helping me come up with a solution. But after the three weeks passed it became hours before he would respond to my texts. And I started to notice that I was often the one texting him first.
At first I had to plan when we would see each other because he would not set up any dates after the first one, but he always readily agreed to what I planned. As he began to pull away, I would ask him if he still wanted to keep seeing me and was interested and he would always say yes. But in my heart, I felt differently due to his distancing. He would always deny that he’s being distant. He would say he was tired or he was busy or that he fell asleep before he could text me back.
I felt like I was doing all the work and he wasn’t trying to see me.
I could feel that his interest had completely diminished. We had not seen each other for 10 days and he was not doing anything to try to see me…no matter how I tried, he never had time or he wouldn’t respond to whether a date or time worked for him. When we finally met up after 10 days, he did not try to do be physically affectionate and seemed like his mind was elsewhere.
I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no. I asked him if he could be gentle with my heart and he said that that would make him responsible. This really unsettled me.
It felt like he did not want me anymore, but he also didn’t want to let me go. I asked if we should take a break and he could come back when he was more interested. He said no, and that no one knows the future. That was so vague and cryptic and he wouldn’t explain further, so I just wanted to go home.
I had a sneaking suspicion that he had been seeing someone else. On the last day I saw him, he was texting a woman back and forth right in front of me and when I asked, he told me she was a client. I didn’t believe it because she sent him a pretty picture of her face. It made no sense that a business client would do that. I thought about all the other things that made no sense.
He did not want me to see his place. He did not introduce me to any of his friends. Whenever I would discuss where the relationship was going, he would change the subject and tell me to look at his actions. Well at that point, he was only texting me to say good morning and good night. He wasn’t sharing anything about his day or his life like I was. But he texted me faithfully every morning and every night.
I called and told him that I wanted to spend more time with him… going hiking, or to the beach, or hanging out. Something to bring our bond back to where we were. He told me he understood, but he didn’t do anything differently… just texting me to say good morning and good night. But this time, I was only the one texting him first and he would take hours to respond.
After another week of this, I sent him a text message indicating that I thought he was seeing someone else…specifically that “client,” and I wished he could be honest with me.
I never heard from him again.
I called and texted him a couple of times and he never responded.
It’s been 8 weeks and I’m angry with myself for falling for someone and being so open with someone who refused to be open with me in the same way. Even though we never slept together, I feel so stupid and used. All the signs were there and I should have broken up with him.
I didn’t want to lose such a handsome man without giving him a chance to explain himself.
I usually keep walls around my heart and I can’t believe this has happened. I can’t believe someone could be so cruel to pursue someone so relentlessly and then drop them without a second thought. I don’t understand why he couldn’t just tell me he didn’t want to be with me or break up with me in a normal way. I feel like I gave him plenty of opportunities to open up.
I’m still not even sure what happened here. Normally, I would walk away without a second thought. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my entire life. I’m so angry with him at times that I could scratch his eyes out. At other times I try to see things from his point of view with compassion but I’m really struggling to understand his point of view. He didn’t even care enough to tell me oh, so I shouldn’t care either, right? And yet I do.
In my last text to him, about 2 weeks after he ghosted me, I told him that if he saw me at any point to keep on walking…
Any insight from a Scorpio male would be greatly appreciated.
Im an aquarius with moon in scorpio in the 8th house and I have major pluto aspect as well,I don’t know if its just me but I tend to be intimidating,I’m usually hated by my family because I cant keep my emotions in check most of the time,I’m the least favorite,I feel no one cares about me except my gf,I’ve never experienced that kind of special friendship that I would love to have and maybe I never will but this year taught me major things and I’ve cut someone who I considered my bff because shes not giving the same effort as I have,I’ve learned to let go a lot easier now,I’ve learned to respect myself a little more so people wont take advantage of me anymore and best of all I have learn to love myself a little more
When it comes to love I don’t like to be chased and be charged like a bull it turns me off and will make me run faster than the flash,i tend to like the quiet ones,when i love i lose myself to the other person,i love deeply that’s why i guard my heart earnestly.
Oh yes indeed! Moon/Pluto conjunction in Virgo, Sun/Neptune conjunction (plus Mars) in Scorpio – I have had to let friends go when I (finally!) realise it is all about them. My sun Virgo daughter had to help me see the light on one occasion – however it helped me to understand that I need to tap into how that person makes me feel – consistently not good then it is time to move on, however sad that may be.
Welcome, Caroline!
I have Scorpio on the cusp of the 11th house. I definitely amputate relationships with friends. I’ve done it several times.
I’ve never thought of it as a Scorpio thing. I’m a Leo and you don’t offend or embarrass me and get away with it. I always think of it this way: I’m depriving you of me and I can’t think of a better way to hurt you than that. Yeah, yeah, I know, typical Leo!
I would never amputate family though. Never.
The worst amputation ever: waking up and discovering that she has committed suicide. She did leave a note, “sorry for all the grief I caused you.” The real grief was only beginning. I doubt if you will either read or respond, so I will just leave it there.
I am so sorry, Ron. Words fail.
My deepest condolences…I know the pain of burying a child. My heartfelt prayers are with you.
Was married many years to an Aries with Scorpio rising been involved with half a dozen Scorpio family members I have found them all to be rather crass and self-centered and that’s not all Scorpios just the ones I know I have amputated what I saw was scorps obsessed with hurting someone else and when the efforts boomerang and they got hurt , more angry ,again I’m sure this is all Scorpios just the ones I seem to run into
My bad “ sure this is not all scorps”
Reading through these posts it made me understand how important relationships are to Scorpios. In fact they are essential! A Scorpio is not happy alone although they can do self sufficiency well, but at a cost. I think the amputation, freezing out of the other is part of the Scorpios journey to master healthy boundaries or how to be close with the other without feeling overwhelmed, at worst annihilated. It is possible to be intimate with an other (merge) and then move away to seperateness and then move closer again, but it takes ego strength/development. By this I mean an ego that can experience dissolving through merger then reconstituting itself again as an individual self, over and over without this process feeling dangerous or a threat. This takes time, experience and practice. With evolution, this amputation – a primitive defense of a vulnerable ego can be overcome.
I only have my POF, Vertex, Uranus and North node in Scorpio … but I *do* have my moon in the 8th house, and it’s also conjunct my Pluto in the 7th.
Double whammy of cute and cuddly Plutonic goodness.
I’ve had absolutely no problems cutting people off emotionally (even for decades) – and within the last year or so, I’ve been learning to forgive. Scorpio energy might be quite fearsome, but it doesn’t always help the native. You don’t need to have your Sun in Scorpio to have it, either.
Scorpio sun Jupiter rising and yes, this past year has had me cut off a few. As painful as it has been, I know that I’ll eventually heal. I hope that they will too.
oh! and yes, I wrote letters as well.
I am a double Scorpio+, Moon conjunct MH. (For key placements see bottom.) I am so exhausted by dealing with a Scorpio duplex neighbor (yes, gods, I get it). He far out-Scorps me, with a twist. His Moon is in AQ in his first house. Very interesting as it is very sensitive and angelic, yet his intuition is off, which is odd for a Scorpio stellium and due to the incompatibility of his SCO stellium with his detached humanitarian AQ ASC and Moon, he is a vindictive dogmatic angel, both very touchy and out of touch. The way he is like a dog with a bone–also researcher in overdrive to the point of feeding an already obsessive and overthinking ruminative nature–yes, mirrors me, only slightly in cartoon version. His rationality is hyper-rational, which means it tips right over into irrationality–the confident wrong lord. I leave out the narrative around a conflict because it is too absurd to be believed. But mostly because I am exhausted! LOL. Finally, I can laugh: after months of misery he has caused (he has no clue) together with our no boundaries Scorpio landlady! They both have Venus SCO! In fact FOUR people in this people-weird but gorgeous rural area I moved to 11 1/2 months ago mirror a part of me back to me in a cartoon version. Edifying!
Welcome, SM!
Greetings!
Oops. Forgot my placements details if interested: I AM LOW AIR 1) Cap Rising. 2) 10H SCO MH/Moon Sun/Neptune, 11H SCO Mercury. 3) 2H Saturn in AQ 5 degrees conjunct neighbor’s Moon 4) Venus/Mars Sag trine Jupiter retro in Aries. 5) 8H Pluto/Uranus.
Neighbor IS LOW FIRE and has these SCO placements: 9H Sun, Venus/Uranus straddling MH, 10H Mercury. His only fire is LEO in 7th. His Jupiter and Saturn are both in Virgo but 20 deg apart in 7h and 8h respectively. 8H Pluto in Libra