Women Who Verbally Abuse Men

knife throwingI just has a consultation with a gal who is risking her marriage with her mouth.  I have natal Mars conjunct Mercury and I terrific problem with this myself.  If I don’t check myself, I can open my mouth and have knives fly out!

I wrote:

“…Again, I am not trying to hurt you. This is PRACTICAL. You can’t call a man a spineless loser and expect him to want to kiss you. What you are doing here is literally, “abuse”. So don’t feel bad, just STOP. That’s probably all he wants, anyway…”

Venus and Mercury are conjunct in Fire sign, Aries today. This will continue for the next three weeks so it’a a good time to think about this.  You want a verbal challenge, but as I explained to the client, while she’s saying things like this, other women who may be interested in her husband, are also talking to him. They’re wanting to “conquer” him in a entirely different way.

Are you a woman with this kind of mouth?  Do you have a handle on it? How do you manage?

28 thoughts on “Women Who Verbally Abuse Men”

  1. Lol….natal Mercury conjunct Mars too……in Virgo! Constantly guarding my tongue. Have long had the habit of the internal monologue now, versus speaking: don’t say it, and think it in a funny way, not in a mean way. Or walk away! Or think of kittens or something. Life is too short to harangue people. If I am asked for advice repeatedly then I might say a bit, but lightly, do it diplomatically at 50% power.

    Your advice is v good: just STOP when you feel it foaming up.

  2. Oh goodness yes! Aries Mercury tightly opposed to Libra Mars, both square Jupiter. I cringe at the thought of some of the horrible things I’ve said to people. A wise person minds their words.

  3. I am definitely not this type of woman. I like to build up mens souls (not ego). Thats our power as women. It makes me think that a woman who does this, doesnt know of her own power.

    Also, why would a woman pick a man that she didnt respect? Theres some self hatred there in her too.

  4. I have Jupiter (Aries) oppose Mars (Libra) square Mercury conjunct Chiron (Capricorn). Studying the astrology of those aspects hasn’t freed me but it has helped me understand why, when I’m in a tense situation, I find myself unable to speak at all and when I do, every word is spat out illogically.

    Sometimes people need to hear the harsh truth – it just probably won’t come from me.

  5. 3rd house in Aries. Same same but different. Virgo in 7th/8th house – so yeah, critical of my partners if they are not ‘perfect’.

    Mercury in Scorpio.

    When I blurt, it hurt!

    Chiron transits 3rd house is about healing. Perhaps a healing on my own mouth, through wholecoming….. I don’t know what it entails yet, but I have been guilty of the bad style many times. I have a mouth of power and sometimes, when my 12th house Mars is angry – I say words that ends up undoing my partnerships or myself.

    Aries is not very empathic in the mouth. I wish I were though.

    1. Anette – I hear you about being verbally critical of partners. It’s tough – especially when we know we’re right! 😉

  6. My natal 7H Virgo Venus and 8H Virgo Mercury widely trine my natal 4H Gemini Mars. To settle an argument in my house, I find myself saying, “My house, MY rules!” quite a bit. I reign in my words because I know how verbally damaging I could be. Walk away, Jayne.

    Regarding your story, Elsa, I found a throw pillow with an apt saying: “A wise man once said nothing.”

  7. I think a voice is a mighty thing
    A filter smart option
    But I am not every woman
    My very huge problem was taping my mouth shut , I lived with a narcissist and survival was paramount. These days I crave a whisper or the most flattering
    Words”what do you think”
    But for too long barefoot pregnant
    Tied by apron strings an acceptable
    Presence.Say it, do it, feel it
    And when needed , give it up
    Every cent, because it matters
    What we think want and need

    1. She is a winner, actually. I have known her for more than a decade. She was pissed.

      She took this to heart, immediately. She’s going to fix this situation, “easily”, because of her strong character.

  8. I knew a woman like that. She is a Leo with Moon in Virgo square Mars in Gemini.
    She was extremely abusive towards her Scorpio boyfriend, it was uncomfortable to watch
    Also, really bad temper, but has a lot of friends. Venus in Libra

  9. I am not, although I always feel like I could be. In my head. But I felt awful about yelling at the some guy to curb his dog because I am sick of picking up after dogs’ waste and them urinating on my mailbox. I don’t even own a dog. But my tongue was very sharp and then I felt like a worm. But seethe inside or let it out. ☹️

    First house Virgo Mars, Cap Mercury in the fifth. No aspects. I can lash out but I pick my battles, judiciously. I find it quite difficult.

    1. What makes sense to me is understanding that you can unleash a fire hose stream of speech, but why do that when a sprinkle will do the trick?

  10. Oh boy, I’ve got Mars Mercury conjunct in Scorpio…I see it all and struggle to stop my mouth from opening!! My darling hub is a wonderful guy, generous, supportive, loving AND IS CAPABLE OF DRIVING ME CRAZY! It’s an ongoing battle to remind myself I don’t always have to comment (even when I KNOW I’m right). Learning (in my 70’s) to choose my battles, sometimes wise NOT to say anything–keep those knives sheathed. It ain’t easy.

  11. My sister has this conjunction, natally, around the first degrees of Aries, conjunct my natal Mars and we CAN’T get along, as our values in the first place are different… It is certainly playing out in my life at the moment… A man at work was unnecessarily abusive towards me and with Uranus conjunct my sun and my Scorpio Moon, I am not backing down any time soon….! The torrent of abuse from my own mouth was legendary… And action is springing forth… From my side particularly…

  12. I have Merc in Sag in the first as well as Saturn, and end up saying harsh things or unnecessary things which may sound abusive but I sure don’t mean to be. If I mention something I only mean to reveal the truth and sometimes that hurts and most times it’s unnecessary because of that. I will remember the above quote, “a wise man once said nothing.” Wonderful and so true!

    1. Thanks, good quote! Well, probably… Too late now… I have resigned my job, which I should have done long ago, he just gave me a good reason.

  13. Interesting reading these as I do not personally relate. My Mercury is in Cancer and it sextiles Jupiter. I have had to work hard at saying what I think off the cuff, usually because I am aware it could hurt others feelings. My feelings have been hurt many times by people who blurt things out as mentioned and I have always been aware of the consequences of what you say to others. In rare instances when I have blurted things out (I can count on 1 hand, probably on the phone) it has never worked for me or gotten me anything positive. It has been and is getting easier with age to say with I think much more directly.

  14. Mars in Gemini 7H square Mercury 9H in Virgo.
    My tongue can be very sharp and sarcasm is my forte.
    I fought against hurting others most of my life. In the end, I managed to play to the crowd (Sun in Leo!) and launched my tirades with the aim of amusing and not being cruel. So far it’s working… but it took forever to reach this point.

  15. I have Venus in Aries and try really hard not to have a sharp tongue. Mainly due to my mother who has a 5 planet stellium in Leo that includes Mars conjunct Mercury. She threw verbal daggers at everyone in our home but my dad Aries sun and me Aries Venus got the worst of it. She also has an Aries moon. It was crazy growing up watching my mom be all nice outside the home (Cancer sun) and then when she came home we had to walk on egg shells. She calmed down after her 2nd Saturn return and my parents are still married but at one point everyone moved out of the house to get away from my mom and her temper tantrums.

    1. wow that is intersteing. everyone moved out, i guess she realized how horrible it is to live with that. Glad to hear you all still stuck it out with her. and u seeing that in ur mother u try hard to not be like her. I try too not to be too much like my mother too, because while i like many of her qualities,i dont like the controlling part. She has a stellium in scorpio, and Capricorn moon. and while it’s meant well, its hard to live with. she needs to “let go” alot of times. Probably why she has daughters that are mutable dominant. letting go alot ..

  16. Wow… Interesting story… Well done for surviving! I have an unaspected Mars at 1 degree Aries in the ninth, and my North Node in the first… It has been hard finding my “voice” and I have felt walked over many times… Hence the out of Proportion reaction when I have had enough!

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