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Random Thoughts & Conversation - Part 2

Elsa
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 Elsa
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My tablet is filling in the phrases I a, thinking,  as I tap. The phrases are not common. This has happened too many times.  It can't be denied. I can damned near feel it.

Next time I notice this, I'm going to push it further. It's limited to two words, so far.

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 nona
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Hi all.  Soup. Sorry you are suffering so. 

my chart this  full moon lis a grand square. 0 leo moon opposite. Pluto. Square. Transit moon square sun. It might suck. Momzilla and baby daughter coming to town for big daughters 40th birthday party 

which I am flailing at organizing last minute in mercury retro. 

I keep wanting to respond to the thread called

 " what to do when everyone is dying". 

 

as a hospice nurse. And people trying to die around me.... I know this. We are LIVING until we die. Or we are already the walking dead. 

Also. I have people around me full of fear , pretending to die. 

I save my energy for those dying /living. And withold from those pretending to live or die. Just an observation 

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soup
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@nona We are LIVING until we die. 

I needed to read that at this every moment. Right now. Talk about divine timing. Thank you, XO 

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Elsa
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@nona I appreciate this as well. That's a great distinction.

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Elsa
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I love this. You have to have your sound on.

https://twitter.com/wilplatypus/status/1780648825696469328

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Elsa
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Client in agony had a breakthrough today. Thank God!  My boundaries are weakened with Saturn in Pisces. I know her well and care for her a lot. I usually hold up but this is...diabolical. 

We talk about shots and what not possibly causing problems. Some say, people will not acknowledge it. Well, what do you think happens when they do?

I don't think "mental health" services is ready for this, I am getting my speed up now and honestly,  it's the worst thing I've ever encountered in this job. I want to also say, by far.

It's forcing me to take up something, I tried to introduce a couple years ago. I found a super interesting, smart source. I'm hoping he may be easier to uptake. Need a mansplainer, basically.  But he's the real deal. The man who cracked it, and also found the words that slap you upside the head.

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soup
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@elsa My daughter in law... the one that is still alive had a bunch of tests and got results today. She has to have an ultrasound of her liver; her blood work came back trash... the medication she has to take to keep her from having an off the reservation heart rate is hurting her other organs. Liver, kidneys. So today, just another fear unlocked for me.... lost one, trying to hang on to the other one. I feel sick with fear many days... nothing is more important to me than my family, and they are dropping like flies.

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Elsa
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@soup I am so sorry. Does your family think it is random, or no?

Does knowing or thinking you know, cause additional pain? 

I'll tell you what's blowing my doors off. People suffer horrible losses,  and in addition, see their families break apart...their marriages, because the losses are so overwhelming. It's a trauma response. 

Some may fare better, if they think it's organic? Others can't not know and have to grapple with this.

I don't think this is fathomable to some people, simply because they don't understand psychopathy. They think they do, but they don't. It's hard to fathom how this demon breached the family, see. The family a person was working so hard to protect.

It you have to swallow that down, it's like waves of evil hitting and rage, or it's buddy, depression show up. A person is engulfed and damn it, how is person supposed to prepare for this?

You know the movie scenes where a person realizes they've been poisoned and then immediately dies? What if they realize they've been poisoned and die over a period of years, suffering throughout? 

It's easy to see why people don't "wake up", but in some cases this is not an option for many different reasons.  These people have to process the whole enchilada. It's not an easy thing to do, and that's the understatement of the century.

 

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soup
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@elsa She does. She said it out loud. She said, I was fine until.... 

You know Elsa, I am a silly over the top in love Sun Conjunct Neptune... songs in my head, puppies and babies and in love with love... I have this hard line. I believe in science and facts. Things on paper. I was raised to love my country and believe in it. I was raised to get up every morning and say the pledge and then sing my country tis of thee before we opened a book at school. I have a long line of family who did their service to this country. My own children did their time and I believe boot camp was good for them, made them men in a way I could not. 

I want to be honest. When I hear conspiracies, I cringe. To think anything else goes against everything I was taught (programmed) to believe my whole life which is decades long now. 

BUT.... you hurt my fking kids... NOW we have a problem that I will dig to the bottom of the earth to find the cause and then go on a tirade of such magnitude they are going to have to put me down. 

At this point, the answer is yes. I don't want to say it out loud, because I know half of everyone on earth will think I am an idiot if I speak it, and 3 years ago I would too. But something has happened to us... my mother and father died instantly, my daughter in law too. My other one is sick, and I was just scanned from head to toe for blood clots. Blood clots. Never in my family has anyone had this happen... and for all of us to have it out of nowhere? 

I have never had CV. So, what is it? I know that CV is a vascular disease, and a lot of people are suffering from the long version so that virus is not innocent like people want to claim. And here is what I don't like... I don't want to read about how so many people were literal idiots to do what they were told to do because they were not allowed back at work unless they did. They were not allowed to see their sick and dying parents unless they did. I would have eaten a horse's ass to get to my family to help them so when I read it, I want to shake the person ... ask them what they are thinking to even type such stupidity. I love my family... need to remove one of my eyes or I can't get to my kid... TAKE THE EYE! I need my kid so take my eye. Let me though without it. I don't need it. 

There is a certain amount of suffering that comes with thinking that the ground you walk on, that you sent your own kids to protect would be run by some MF that would hurt your parents or your kids. My daughter in laws became my kids the moment they attached themselves to my children. Those girls are my kids. I have had them both since high school. Losing her ... I feel like someone reached inside my soul ripped half of it out, I cannot imagine what her mother is going through. My son will never be the same or love the same and my little granddaughter will have no one there when she goes through the milestone moments, marries, has a baby.  

SO YES.... I have been knocked off my square. Straight off it. I still believe in scientific research and good medicine that saves lives and good doctors and all of it... but it's tainted now. Because in the back of my mind, I do not trust like I did. I have too many dead people on my hands now. I already don't trust shit ... just because of who I am and the energy I live in every day... but this? 

I want to speak with respect to everyone, I really do. I don't want to believe that there are people that .... I know there are. I have read history and know about all the monsters. It's just when that monster knocks on your door....  the bottom line is I have been trying to operate with even more responsibility at my age with a BROKEN HEART. I mean, the insides of me are shredded. And no one can see it because I cannot show it. I have people to take care of, to encourage. 

It's hard to fathom how this demon breached the family, see.

I'll fight a demon.... look it straight in the eye and say let's do this MF!!! 

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soup
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I know, I have this fascination with Sagittarius, and I kept marrying them when I was younger knowing damn well it was going to explode the moment they had 50 of their best friends in the backyard for BBQ every Sunday..... ugh...   

This Sag represents WHY I LOVE THEM.... no matter how crap something they is just get up and make some damn lemonade. My grand who lost her mother is like this. She is a sunny Sag and I have so much admiration for her and how she is able to find a way to get back up and find a way to keep going when the rest of us are still so.... I can tell you this, my girl does not stop moving for a moment. I remain what she needs in front of her but when I am alone, I am sick inside for her and the future with no momma. I feel it in the deepest place, and she does too, but she keeps going. 

Biggest Sag right now.... singing my theme song!!!!!!!!!!! I just adore them! 

 

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Elsa
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This is what's happening/happened. I am not the only one, noticing. 

"...Only when these individual traits are combined with group processes like negative selection (the process by which ordinary people of talent are removed from existing social hierarchies and replaced by people with various personality disorders), and social processes like psychological induction (e.g., social contagion, mass hysteria, “spellbinding”), do we begin to approach that level of complexity..."

 

I can't believe I've found mansplainers that agree with me / see what I see, very clearly.

I don't care how off this sounds to you. Please mark it, because you will eventually see this is exactly what's happened. 

 

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