Lately I've been seeing more glimpses of the purpose of the transition we're in. It seems to be a simultaneous unwinding and passage of empowerment. Because human suffering is at the root of the paradigm we have been immersed in, which has given us a sense of safety at the expense of expressing ourselves fully at a soul level (fully being alive) we are having to go back into the suffering (stored individually in our bodies) and know it and survive it, and through this survival we step by step become self empowered as we can truly come to know ourselves and our capacities. Rather than being parts of ourselves, which are often just constructs, ideas of who we are, which we adopt, are influenced into being, or are reactions, all in order to adapt to the old paradigm. This fragmented way of being involves being dependent for too long on others to know ourselves and giving up a lot of ourselves in this process, easily being confused or duped or open to manipulation (like too much reliance on an authority figure rather than finding it in ourselves).

Meaningless suffering is truly terrible to experience, but if we have awareness that in these times we are "reacquainting" with suffering we already experienced (but couldn't integrate properly before) then it gives a powerful sense of purpose. Each one of us, in facing our individual suffering, seeing it truly, and bringing soul compassion to it, is steadily building a new paradigm. It's a paradigm that demands responsibility, because we can't hide things from our selves like before, it's eyes wide open to the best and worst of the human condition, our painful histories, and the tragedies we are continually supporting. Now we're trying all the time to face and survive things, especially the deepest gnarly feelings, and constantly expanding in loving acceptance, or not, because if not, if we f--k up we get to try again, or are beaten into submission. The real experience of love one can experience on surviving the shadow is not so well known to us. My sense is its worth digging deep these days, as it is there waiting for us. 

This is just a snapshot from my head recently, when I got some clarity. Previously I was in the s--t too deep to make meaning. Maybe it will resonate with some folks. 

This is the year that I am pouring my heart and soul into a community garden. I started volunteering there 5 years ago, and quickly became involved as a leader. I realize that the garden requires yearly maintenance, but I really hope that the infrastructure we are building/installing this year will pay dividends for at least the next 10, even 20 years. Many people have stepped up to help this year, but it's been mostly me and one other lady at the helm. I'm very proud of the momentum that she and I kept going over the winter to make all of these big improvements. It's too bad that we lost our friend in February, but it's clear that the loss catalyzed growth, and I think he's got to be happy looking down at it... It's been getting a little dry, and now a big thunderstorm is rolling through as I write this.

So far, being available for family members who are ill and need support.