My mother has NPD that never was treated. She has self medicated for over 50 years with Alcohol and drugs. I also believe she has some form of Munchausen.
Anyway,needless to say, my childhood was a nightmare. I barely survived the torturous physical and emotional abuse.

Even though she is now 75 and sickly, she still manages to be the most Narcissistic, Manipulative Evil person I have ever know.

I plan on having a big celebration when she's finally gone.

Hey, Kash. Glad of the good news update! Thanks for bumping this thread, as it's helping me to process the situation with my step-dad.

His mother was a narcissist. Evil. Manipulative. Horrid. It took my mother's death to bring my family back together, after all the damage she did on the way out. AWFUL creature. Very much enjoyed pitting family against each other. I still think of her evil, sardonic sneer as she said to me "I feel like being NASTY. Do you ever feel that way? Just want to be MEAN for no reason. Just to hurt someone..." when I think of "horror". That was horrifying.

I'm sure my family thought I was a monster, watching her slowly *not die*, no tears, arms crossed. She'd been "dying" for my entire life, and I was so unimpressed with her. Furious. To the point that I emotionally did not care and was rooting for her to just up and die...I felt awful about that, I felt so angry to be placed in that spot!!! (Hindsight says I had a choice, but at the time, I projected all of it.)

After Mom died, I tried to be there for my Dad, my step-dad. I did. But it was never enough, and I always seem to be his last priority, but the first one he calls when he NEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS something...basically, being a "putz".

It got worse, and although I am very hurt to be in this place, now, I just can't keep playing into his game. No, Dad. I'm not going to let you drive 2 hours, pick me up, and keep me at your house for 3 weekdays, then drive me back (on FRIDAY, not Wednesday, like you promised, and only then because you are ready to go to your girlfriend's for the weekend). Especially when you can't come to my house for dinner and meet the man I live with? The one who rescued me financially and emotionally, when you didn't give two shhhhts?

OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT. You deny B exists because YOU are the ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD.

Sigh. Thanks. I needed that. And now, perhaps, a stiff beverage.

Anyways, yes. I have learned, since losing my mom, that I can't put the real me or my life on hold for my family, or worry about whether they will still love me.

I mean, I'm either lovable me, or you lose out on a good deal.

I'm lucky to have B, who is supportive in all ways, and has it right, when it comes to this topic. He wants to play nice, and try to have everyone happy, but he's not going to put up with my Dad's shenannigans. And good lord do I need the help, since Mom isn't around to wrangle/strangle him!

Wow. I didn't even want to talk about it, and now I feel better.

<3

@Eix..."I'm either lovable me, or you lose out on a good deal"

Couldn't have said it better myself!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just need to vent. I feel suffocated right now because I live with my Narc. mom and codependant (possible narc) dad. I want to get out but I feel drained. I didn't really get it until today but everytime I tried to escape they found some other reason to guilt me or entrap me into staying. I can't speak my mind or having emotions here and just being in the same room with my mom made me feel exhausted because I was holding my breath just trying to keep myself calm in case she attacked. And that's all my life is right now! I 'm just trying to keep myself calm because when I get comfortable and let myself even try to enjoy my time in their company my mom finds something to scream about the very next day or even the next hour.

I can't take this anymore and I need to gtfo but its so hard with no money and honestly very little self-esteem. Outside of this place I can be very strong and I can figure most things out for myself but here I'm constantly berated to ensure that my parents will always have someone to feel superior to. Even if I know what they're doing, it gets to me. I'm ok without getting compliments or sincere positive recognition, but I can't take anymore sneak attacks yet I also can't keep holding my breath trying to brace myself for their next attack.

There's absolutely no room for me to live my life here because I'm so busy living my life either to please them or avoid them. I'm forbidden from having a life outside of this house and even if I could get around that my car currently needs repairs and I live in a town without public transportation.

I'll find someway out of this because I have to, but its so hard when I'm so emotionally and mentally exhausted from hitting dead ends and seeing no easy way out. Particularly one that will allow me to avoid their wrath while being able to financially support myself.

CanSagGo said
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just need to vent. I feel suffocated right now because I live with my Narc. mom and codependant (possible narc) dad. I want to get out but I feel drained. I didn't really get it until today but everytime I tried to escape they found some other reason to guilt me or entrap me into staying. I can't speak my mind or having emotions here and just being in the same room with my mom made me feel exhausted because I was holding my breath just trying to keep myself calm in case she attacked. And that's all my life is right now! I 'm just trying to keep myself calm because when I get comfortable and let myself even try to enjoy my time in their company my mom finds something to scream about the very next day or even the next hour.

I can't take this anymore and I need to gtfo but its so hard with no money and honestly very little self-esteem. Outside of this place I can be very strong and I can figure most things out for myself but here I'm constantly berated to ensure that my parents will always have someone to feel superior to. Even if I know what they're doing, it gets to me. I'm ok without getting compliments or sincere positive recognition, but I can't take anymore sneak attacks yet I also can't keep holding my breath trying to brace myself for their next attack.

There's absolutely no room for me to live my life here because I'm so busy living my life either to please them or avoid them. I'm forbidden from having a life outside of this house and even if I could get around that my car currently needs repairs and I live in a town without public transportation.

I'll find someway out of this because I have to, but its so hard when I'm so emotionally and mentally exhausted from hitting dead ends and seeing no easy way out. Particularly one that will allow me to avoid their wrath while being able to financially support myself.

Your life sounds like my life in my teenage years. Good luck, I hope you get out when you can!

Wow.. I lived with a Narc mother , and it seems that my sibling inherited the trait as well. Moved 400 km away, and looking back now I didn’t noticed that Saturn coming for my 4th probably instigated it. It will make its last horrible pass squaring my moon. And then it will be opposing my Venus.. heartbreak and freedom afterwards I hope. And healing huge healing! I hope you are all doing better now. You can get out, meet the change with change then. I feel for all of you going trough this