Some Juicy quotes on IDIOT COMPASSION

from Pema Chodron's site:

Idiot compassion is a great expression, which was actually coined by Trungpa Rinpoche. It refers to something we all do a lot of and call it compassion. In some ways, it's whats called enabling. It's the general tendency to give people what they want because you can't bear to see them suffering. Basically, you're not giving them what they need. You're trying to get away from your feeling of I can't bear to see them suffering. In other words, you're doing it for yourself. You're not really doing it for them.

Chogyam Trungpa:

Idiot compassion is the highly conceptualized idea that you want to do good to somebody. At this point, good is purely related with pleasure. Idiot compassion also stems from not having enough courage to say no.

iChögyam Trungpa again:

…idiot compassion, which is compassion with neurosis, a slimy way of trying to fulfill your desire secretly. This is your aim, but you give the appearance of being generous and impersonal.

I really agree with @fishvirgin

If its hurting you and its not helping much of anybody else, it's misguided.

I have a lot of Virgo and 12th house, and Neptune squares my Nodes...  I have gladly let myself be used and abused and put up with bad treatment, but it sucked the life out of me and was keeping me from my path. My life has improved since I starting changing my ways. I took my Mars out of the dungeon I had stuffed in it and cut out the toxic in my life and didn't look back.

I get that some people are difficult and as a sensitive person, you see past their bad behaviour, and you accept them where they are... you forgive and you forgive and you love them anyway. Yes, that is a strength. But there are ways to use that strength wisely and more effectively then letting yourself get sucked dry from every ounce of it by being the martyr and staying stuck in a sucky situation. Sometimes you just have to step aside and let other forces take over. Sure, I would love to be able to help everybody, but if I realize I cant do it, I'm not equipped, then I'm not the guy... I have to step aside and let them find the person/thing that can.

Idk. I have a lot of Pisces but also a lot a Virgo and I think the mutables have a different sense of "sane and rational". Whose bottom line are we talking about? Everyone's is different.

Such a general question luci (the second one)...I'm usually pretty good at reading between the lines however I can't with what you're asking. I'd like to ask the context of your question.

For me, depending on the context, my Pisces-ness is different.

Now, if the bottom line IS from another person, say in a relationship, thus the Pisces holding on to a dead-end...that isn't healthy.

I have been known to be quite patient (less as I age), kind, and nice with others. Beyond measure. If I'm 'stricken' enough by bad behavior/patterns from another, I will move on. (Leo/Aquarius bits)

If the respect vibe is not there, snip!

With Pisces Sun conjunct Jupiter, I freely sacrifice to rescue the defenseless...I want to save the world. I know I can put the vision of the ideal before the personal. I can sacrifice my needs and desires for those of the greater good. In fact, I feel like Pisces are here to inspire and demonstrate this ability to let go of selfish demands for the benefit of others.

However, there can be a serious lack of discrimination. Wrong people helped, deceptive causes supported. So while Pisces me wants to swoon and melt into something bigger and good and powerful, it seems the assignment is to develop the discrimination to determine the correctness of my actions (am I just high on myself and my cosmic goodness) or the 'deservedness' of my cause (is this a bogus cause I am using to hide in).  This may be just my issue - a result of my Saturn opposing my sun in Pisces- but I feel like it is a general Pisces challenge.

so I would say a weakness - sensitivity to the suffering of others - can be a strength.  Most would turn away before a Pisces ever would. But it can also be a weakness if there is no sense of  discrimination. That's what I was referring to with the 'idiot' compassion quotes.  

I would like to add.... my husband is a good soul, but if I ever cheated on him he would leave me and never speak another word to me. I mean he would exit and never utter a word. I would get papers in the mail and never hear from him again. he doesn't care about things... so he would walk out and leave all the shit here. He is not motivated by material things. He never has been. He works hard but what we have accumulated over the years would mean nothing to him if he were betrayed.

Now it has never occurred to me to cheat on him ever once in 17 years. I adore his heart and I would leave before I would ever break it. He has given me the kind of loyalty that I have never found in another. And, he feels the exact same way I do. That loyalty means as much to me as it does to him.

He is not a doormat. He is no angel. And, we don't get along all day every day. There are days I want to hit him in the head with a coffee mug and trust me... he has looked at me like I have lost my mind on more than one occasion. He has been so mad at me that he wouldn't speak to me for 4 days... not that I gave a shit...I was mad at him too. And, we have screamed at each other so loud the walls rattle.... this doesn't happen often. But it has. He will say that he will usually buckle because I fight too hard... (eeekkk) but he can give that shit right back. I say he has such self control it is frightening.  

I just don't want you to think that I live with a Pisces that allows himself to be a doormat. He does not. He is NOT the town crier. He is a big healthy manly man.  Where his strength lies is in his giving nature and his compassion for people who are in need. And he has this incredible gift of being able to forgive an idiot almost all the time. Not a deep cut like betrayal .... (such as cheating) He counts on my friendship. It's important.

He has some fight in him. God help the person that would do something to me.... I know he would go down to protect me....but he is very careful in his choice of battles. Hold em - fold em.... he knows when. I do not. I seethe.... (I work on this all the time) I have learned so much from him. (he has that cool aqua asc and that Cap moon)  

I suppose because its hard to get a rise out of him there are people that see him as weak. And that does make me laugh out loud. Because the joke is on them. He just understands what is worth what and he is able to let go of things .... its been so important for me to be able to watch him over the years.

It takes a lot of courage and strength to be able to forgive, continue on and communicate like an adult in a work environment or otherwise when you can hardly tolerate what someone has done. I know I cant do it. You know me.... they are dead to me (Scorpio) .... Tony Soprano dead to me.... but not him. He can just go on and do what he has to do. I admire it. He just has this old man maturity... he is younger than me. Guess which one of us acts the oldest?

Old grandpa (he is not old age wise at all lolol) He is a wise ol' bird. Who could have ever predicted that a man 11 years younger than me could teach me so much about how to treat people. He is good to people. And he expects nothing in return. He is always able to see the bigger picture....

He says he admires my tenacity and that I never give up ....

I admire his ability to overlook stupidity and forgive a person, and his compassion for people, kids and animals.... he is a better person than I am. In all ways. (he would argue that but I know better) He is not just my husband but my guide when there is a question of what the right thing to do is.... I always know, he will know. And that integrity means everything to me.