Do people change? We ask this a lot on this site. I always say they don’t change. Some people agree with me but most do not.
The other night I was talking to, Ben. He’s been a teacher for 35 years. He said he’ll meet a kid when they’re in 3rd grade and then meet them again when they’re in 8th grade. Invariably, it’s the same kid. The kid will have not changed one bit.
“If the kid was a wolf, they’re still a wolf. If the kid was a whiner, they’re still whining. Leopards don’t change their spots and I don’t know why people think they do,” Ben explained.
He said the kids do learn to better mask themselves. They’ll come up with ways to hide, but beneath the mask, it’s same kid.
Since I published my book, “Heaven, I Mean Circle K”, I’ve been prompted to go back to read parts of it. There is a kid in that book and sure enough, it’s the same kid who writes and runs this blog.
Astrology agrees of course. I was born with Mars conjunct Mercury. With that, the die was cast.
Who believes they’ve changed their spots?
I read this, had a think, read the next post, then agreed with Ben.
I haven’t changed at all. I’m probably still the same person I was when I was 1 and now at 26. I may have learned to cope better and have better reactions and to be more silent at times but I’m still the same. The only things that have changed are my principles, values and perspective. I suppose that comes with age and with learning about the world and people.
Leopards don’t change their spots at all.
Sure, they change. They grow up, mature, learn from mistakes, grow wiser. Not everyone. But at least some, hopefully. Every time you look back on your life and think “man, what an idiot I was back then,” it means you changed.
I do – I didn’t become a different person, I am still me but I am more me – you know.
8th house sun – yes of course people change – all the time
I was born with mars conjunct mercury too, conjunct my MC in Libra, and i feel the same way. People can slowly evolve, but they do not drasticly change, unless they love to change. Uranus conjuncts my ASC so this is the case with me. For instance, i had to sell my flat, finish my master’s theses, move to another apartment in the same time so i decided to work out after years of neglecting the body, change my diet and live without the Internet. It tourned out great since it was all different and new to me. If you want changes – nothing should stop you. It is all for the best so you might as well have it all at once.
I have met some people who were down in the shitter, depressed, overweight, introverted alone. Weighed down by a very difficult past and they transformed their lives and took themselves out of their comfort zone. I’m not sure if they changed or they had it in them. Usually they have aries. Dude healed his own diabetes.
As a kid I was a bit dark and intense and affected by the fancy Oscar movies and stuff my family introduced me to. I also cut up worms once. I was bright and verbal and spoiled. In my own world and had difficulty making friends and following directions. Stirring up trouble with my family. I don’t know if that kid relates to the worried self involved person I am now.
they don’t.
people who say people change see the -mask-, and that’s only what they are going to see.
I don’t think people at their core change but sometimes what appear to be spots may be a response to trauma that are covering the true, uh, spotting and obscuring the authentic self.
I have. Family members are mortified.
They follow me with screens.
I carry a window and a filter.
From the abyss, I throw a diamond’s light.
They throw back the mirror’s shade…
(Somehow missed this, before posting, below.)
I do,in fact, believe real change is possible. We are each captain of our own ship – whatever weather. Only, like the lightbulb who wants changing.. 😀 *sorry! old,corny joke*
People don’t change, but parts that are intrinsically theirs might lay dormant for long times. Still part of who they are, but invisible. Until some exchange, with someone or an event, that sparks that ability/trait.
True for me, too.
Agree extremely.
You’re right leopards don’t change there spots. Just don’t try to take advantage of people and you’ll find you won’t have to where a mask everyday;)
I don’t think people change, basically, but perhaps they are better able to “control” themselves (unless they get worse!).
Or maybe their ideas evolve, so their reactions are not the same.
Some problems drop by the wayside (by themselves) and the person doen’t have to behave the same way anymore. (Change by default)
Trying to think of an example, but can’t find one! So maybe yes, people don’t change.
Very old men still look at porn, very old ladies still try to hook up. (And the twain shall never meet)
It’s probably just as well!!!!!
I agree that leopards don’t change their spots. I imagine that I am older than most posters on this site.Although I usually give people the benefit of doubt; on more than one occasion my “spider senses” told me that someone was a bad egg. Nevertheless, I tried to shrug it off and accept the people at face value. In every case, I was eventually proven right about them and they did not improve over time at all regardless of how much caring or forgiveness was given.In each case I truly “hated” being right and was actually very hurt not only for myself, but most of all for members of my family.
The birth chart is the same on day one and still the same one when your seventy! No one can change their spots. They can learn to navagate the spots so people dont see them clearly but….. still the same spots! Have lived long enough to know I am right.
Down the street from me lives the Leopard. I see him from time to time. In some of those “times”, years go by. Recently, we spoke to “catch up on things.” He said to me, in a language quite queer, that he had been studying the language of Zebra. In fact, he had become fluent. The affluence shown by his big belly. But, as you can imagine, he was not readily accepted by those of the native tongue. He was quite depressed in that he felt like a “man” without a country. He said that even though he could not change his spot in life, he could change his mentality in how he perceived it; the spot.
And, that made all the difference in the world.
A brutal Saturn or Pluto transit in a natal or progressed chart is a definitive change agent. Otherwise, maturity and environmental experiences alter your life’s progress.
I agree,I used to work with a woman that was just miserable with life.She tried for years to have a child, finally she got pregnant.When she was 5 months pregnant she had a horrible accident with a train, but by some miracle she recovered and even gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Now I thought certainly there would be some kind of change when she came back to work. No she was the same miserable hateful person she was before.
I think people can and do change. I feel like some people are just afraid or unwilling to evolve and so their “spots” remain the same.
I believe ppl can learn to be different, like in 12 step programs, by making an effort to make healthier choices on a day to day basis. Ultimately the fundamental personality is always there, imho.
I think one can. But it takes A LOT of work and opennes. And I dont think anyone can get to them all in a lifetime. Its probably wise to work on the ones that make you miserable, first and go from there.
But still, theres only a certain range of potential from which to pull from. Im venturing to guess that that range is wider than we usually perceive it to be. Ive seen miraculous changes in myself from 12 step program. Its all about changing your spots. Or more accurately, letting God change my spots, by allowing Him to mold me. Hes pretty good at it, when I let Him.
I’m with Ben! I’ve been teaching for most of the last 30 years and I have run into a lot of kids as they grow up. Sometimes they mask better and sometimes the learn to use their basic personality better. For instance, I had an eighth grade girl that was bossy, she told everyone what they should do and she was usually right, but most 8th graders and 8th grade teachers don’t appreciate that quality, but she is now in college studying stage management and has won national awards for her ability to tell people what to do and see the big picture.
That’s a great example. Thank you!