A No Frills Look At Falling In Love With A Psychopath

Psychopaths are a pet topic on this blog. This can be attributed to the extreme nature of the diagnosis correlating with the extreme nature of my natal chart. (tag – psychopath)

I was talking to a pal about a sociopath we know…

“Women were always around. I mean they chased him?”  I asked.

“Yes, they chased him. Women chased him his whole life and they still do.”

“It doesn’t sound like he was a predator,” I said.  “He didn’t prey on women?”

“No, he wasn’t a predator. He never targeted anyone, the women would came to him. Yeah, they’d come and throw themselves all over him.  He’d be drunk so of course he’s going to screw them. Some woman wants to screw? He’s drinking? Of course he’ll screw her but it was not what he was out looking for.”

“I understand.  So then what happens? The woman screws and him and then what? She falls in love?”

“Yeah, they go all ga ga over him.”

‘What does he do?”


“So he must have wound up with all these women hanging around, stalking him and trying to be his woman?”

“He did.  Yeah, that happened all the time.”

“What did he do about it?”

“Told them to get the hell away from him? Get the hell out of here.”

“He’s lucky he didn’t end up with some drama over that. Some gal kill herself or something.”

“I don’t think he’d have cared.”

“I see. Well yeah I’m sure you’re right.”

“Yep. No skin off his nose. He could care less.”

(Just in case you think you’re going to cure a sociopath.)

15 thoughts on “A No Frills Look At Falling In Love With A Psychopath”

  1. i’m curious about people who act like sociopaths because they’re broken in some way.
    stunted in empathy, but not entirely lacking it.
    i think maybe it’s easy for me to confuse one for the other.
    although sociopaths tend to be pretty smooth. facile socially… whereas the “stunted” people (for lack of a better word) i know aren’t…

    i think i had one as a student last year. extremely disturbing, to recognize that i likely had no power whatsoever to “help” the kid… that there’s a possibility that some are just made that way. it’s scary.

    i think maybe i’m a bit clueless because i’m not as good at picking up on emotional cues as most people. or so i’ve been told. i think people assume a lot of weird stuff that i’m supposed to know without them telling me, anyway. (“i said x, i did y, so obviously z, how can you be so rude as to ignore z and assume i meant what i said???”)
    used to think it was something wrong with me. now i’m not so sure.

  2. It is very very very hard for normal people (however you define that) to truly comprehend the fact that sociopaths really and truly could not care less about the havoc they leave in their wakes. Not only do normal people tend to project their own capacity for empathy, a reasonable assumption, but beyond that, it’s really hard to imagine that there are people who do not have so much as a grain of it. To a sociopath other people are just toys, pawns on their chess board. What complicates it even more is that most of them do a pretty good job of feigning emotions and empathy, so we get fooled, often because we want to be. It isn’t until they’ve discarded someone like yesterday’s trash that the truth is out, and then it’s hard to reconcile it with the fake persona.

  3. do you think a sociopath would cry for 3 days after being “betrayed” (his interpretation, not necessarily an actual betrayal) in love?

  4. So what is the difference between this and the average selfish jerk? I’ve seen some people who really don’t care about anyone, unless its their circle (specific family members or a few friends) – and then only because they need them. Do these people have a very constricted circle or none at all?

  5. “So what is the difference between this and the average selfish jerk?”

    Ana, it is night and day from my perspective.

  6. Ana, some guy loves me, I don’t love them. They keep coming, I tell them to leave me alone, now I am a “selfish jerk” which then morphs to sociopath.

    Uh uh, that dog don’t hunt in my world.

  7. Oh I see what you mean. I was thinking of “selfish jerk” as those who deliberately use others with no thought to consequences. No shame, empathy, in fact see it as evidence of their own superiority. It’s not uncommon.

  8. yeah, i’m trying to parse the difference between what i want to believe and what’s happening. trying to compare… er… my long list of repeated close interactions with people on this spectrum… and trying to compare them… how do i know who’s a narcissist? or a full blown sociopath? how can i tell if someone has actual remorse? there’s several i’m sure of, on the extreme end of the spectrum, the ones i pegged pretty fast and cleaned out of my life, those are easy. the closer ones, that i actually developed attachments to, it’s so much harder to sort out.

    and then i start wondering what problem i have 🙁
    not to be self pitying, i’ve just been covering myself in the muck for so long i wonder if any of it’s a part of me.

    in he meanwhile, i’ve been enjoying this site, too (http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com). some useful strategies and perspectives i haven’t encountered previously.

  9. I would agree 100% to Doreen, they have the ability to sense the weaknesses of their prey if i may call so and they know when to do what and yes we want to get fooled by them for what reason cant say.

  10. Wyrdling thanks for the link, is there some way to get out of low self esteem and self doubt, loss of sense of direction and fear and trust issues?

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