Yesterday, my husband presented me with a proposed mission statement for our relationship. Do you think that’s funny? I’d think it was funny too, had I not already experienced the benefits of laying these things out, defining goals in clear terms and agreeing to them.
Our mission at this point,is to save for our retirement so as not to be a burden to our children and to raise, Vid, to the age of emancipation. It’s not exactly romantic but hey. At least we know what we’re doing here and we agree to it.
You’d be amazed how solidifying it is to do something like this, especially in the current climate where no one agrees with anyone on anything. It’s also free. It costs nothing to do this… we can still kiss, cut up and tell jokes, right? We can still swear our heads off, fight and call each other ten times a day but even if we do any of that, or all of that, at the core we know what our goals are and because of this, we’re likely to achieve them.
What is your opinion on this? Do you have goals for your relationship, that are agreed upon?
I love this. My husband and I were just doing this last night. We have made changes, and settled on new goals too. Looking at it as a Mission Statement is solidifying.
We have shifted responsibilities and commited to do them for as long it takes. We have commited to settled in here, where we are, and that is a big thing.
So many other things are out of our control, it does feel good to tether to something and agree to it.
Well, hell. Congress can’t so it so we better!! The little people.
As another example, the people who work on this site are also, all in agreement. There is a common goal here.
I can’t function being at cross-purposes with people, myself. I like to advance and this is how that is done.
Agreed it certainly makes moving forward a whole lot easier.
My ex-husband and I got together primarily because we shared a goal, in terms of where we wanted to live and what kind of life we wanted to lead (self-sufficiency in southern Europe). We met in the south of France and came back to London to put a plan into action. It took us 3/4 years of hard graft, but we always had that end in sight and we achieved our goals, albeit a year later than planned (and thereby hang some tales;)
Sadly, when we got there (three houses later) it became apparent he didn’t want to share what we had – Aquarius Sun – and things finally fell apart just when we should have been enjoying the fruits of all that hard work and sacrifice.
But that doesn’t invalidate the fact we would never have made it without setting goals and sticking to them. And that in itself created shared experience, which is what underpins a marriage after all
@Elsa:) That is really a wonderful thing and someday I hope I will partner up with someone who shares goals with me (and doesn’t expect me to make it happen by myself) which has been my experience in the past.
My Libra really, really, would love it.
Elsa, this is just a kind of a conversation I can imagine my SO (8th house person) and me (2nd house person) having 15-20 years from now ! Right now it’s the Wedding. And what comes after. Should we start considering becoming home owners (with Pluto still transiting in both of our 4th, we’re renting) ? And the baby (I’m hitting 35 in October) ? I mean, we both came into this relationship thinking we’d eventually be a family, but now it’s really about going for these things rather than just thinking.
you telling me this presented the missing piece in my relationship. it was like someone asking me, “well did you plug it IN??” in relation to an electronics problem. which you have also done to solve one of my problems. ::blush::
Ha ha ha, satori. ::snorts::
PS, many people have no idea how to be together because it’s just not taught anymore, is it?
I am trying to fill in here because I know there is a demand.
I do see a romantic side to it, but maybe that’s just me? I’m not sure if I can properly explain why. Maybe it;s my Taurus descendant, that makes me go all mushy over a man showing his commitment in that way? I tune out when a certain guy talks about living out of a suitcase, but when he wrote something out to someone else, about foundations, and building on them, to make sure that something is really secure? That, I like.
we have agreed to grow old together and look after one another.
uhm, that was part of the whole Marriage Plan. wouldn’t have gone through all those hoops without a clear defined reason to.
though i hadn’t realized i was also probably buying into supporting my in-laws through their dotage, as well. but that’s family for you. anyway… i admire people who plan for their future self sufficience. so few seem to.
That sounds like an excellent idea. Think I’ll run it by the hubby later today.
l think it’s important to have a goal or two together it strengthens the bond. l couldn’t live without that with someone l would find our being together pointless in a way. l like setting my mind on something and work towards it and with someone even better.
I think this is brilliant!
Your husband is the smartest man I know at this point.
This is a good plan. Interestingly my bf and I have a date this week to go over the following things we’d like to reach a consensus on: living together, maintaining, habits, financial future, future plans and goals. I live and I learn.
My partner and I have been doing what we call shared intentions for years. We do them each new year, print a copy for the wall, and print small ones for our wallet. When we go off our agreed upon intentional course, it is easy to see and correct our behaviors to get back on track. Btw, it is amazing that most of our intentions manifest when we look back on the year. Simply agreeing to do this shows our commitment to our relationship and situations we want to see happen. Good Luck!