Accepting The Loss Of Family & Friends

Old man by Buz TafoyaI know someone who has pretty much lost all of their family and most of their friends. I don’t think this is deserved but know this doesn’t matter. The fact is, this is what has occurred.

A person like me would deny such a thing.  Doors are left open, at least 90% of the time. But this doesn’t matter when no one is trying to come back through anyway.  I don’t think about that.  Jupiter overload, I suppose.

As it turns out, the person is not liked or cared for, no matter what anyone says.

“They want me to be someone I’m not. It can’t be done.” It was a simple statement, I could not refute.

You figure these things out when you’re older. Blathering and false promises slip away. No more important than one of those bubbles you blew when you were a kid.

The Saturn Pluto conjunction in Capricorn is going to be one hardcore son-of-a-bitch.   I can’t be the only one who sees this.

21 thoughts on “Accepting The Loss Of Family & Friends”

  1. No, you are not the only one who sees it. It looks like a nightmare to me. God knows what or who will survive. Literally, or metaphorically.

  2. “Doors are left open, at least 90% of the time. But this doesn’t matter when no one is trying to come back through anyway.”


  3. I have clients who are in this position. Their spouses died or they divorced, the kids are busy or estranged from them, family can’t or won’t help with their care, etc.

    You’d be surprised how many elderly people are out there living alone with advanced cancer, dementia, COPD….and they live surrounded only by their memories. They are completely alone about 80-90% of the time. I might get a couple of hours a day or week with them—that’s IT! The rest of the time, who knows. I’ve seen elderly clients who were being cared for by a family member whose own health was poor. Watcha gonna do. It’s horrifying. I just look at these people and think, that’s gonna be me in 20 or 30 years. Broke, in poor health, and alone, everyone I love is dead or busy.

    1. So many baby boomers sick and dying with children that we spoiled {yes it really is our fault} who have this sense of entitlement.

      As in our case where we no longer have anything to give and have needs children just drop to the wayside.

      When I worked in a retirement community it was heart breaking to see these people desperate to have contact with their children. At least in the communities they did have each other.

      1. Yep, I see this in home care too. Children are too busy or whatever to visit much or help. I’ve also seen family members expecting their loved one who’s on a tiny income and sick to hand them money for this and that. Heaven help them if they can’t afford Christmas presents.

        1. And yes, it’s heartbreaking. What do I say to a baby boomer or older client whose children rarely if ever come around, and they’re in tears during the holidays??

  4. Jesus, it’s going to hit me in my 8th house o.o

    But this Saturn and Pluto are sextile my natal Jupiter in MC

    Then, transiting Jupiter will join them too

    Hoping it’s not as bad, or it’s softened

    1. The conjunction hits my 4th house, trining my mars and ascendant. Like you, my angle/planet conjunction will find themselves beneficially aspected; and the 4th and the 8th houses are similar as well. Both vulnerable houses, both of them edges of our emotional pool.

      I’m also hoping for something supportive rather than destructive, but I’m not holding my breath for anything painless. I figure that these two planets in combination, in that sign, hitting a water house.. it’ll make itself felt.

      Positive aspects might ensure that we’ll look back and see the constructiveness of it all, or maybe whatever upheaval we’ll find ourselves in might fit where we are in life or who we are. But I really don’t believe it’ll be easy, for anyone… it’s too powerful, to earth shattering. Maybe the best that people like you and I can hope for, is to find ourselves with exactly the right tools to survive? Even if those tools turns out to be nothing more than our wits and a rusty knife.

  5. Capricorn cluster around my tenth, Neptune in twelfth opposing sun…good time for a retreat. And my alone time is blissful often so perhaps this rejection could be blessing in disguise. Societal criticism is everywhere.

  6. I agree it’s heartbreaking for old people to end up alone. However, I’d like to add a slightly different story.

    My evil narcissistic mother has treated all family like rubbish all her life, and she also committed financial fraud against all three of her children. She spits poison every time we go near and is still trying to con us to this day. The result is that we’ve all gone abroad. She goes around our hometown complaining to everyone about how heartless her children are. It’s heartbreaking that she’s alone, but also heartbreaking what she has done and is still doing.

    1. There are times when I silently wonder if my client is somewhat responsible for ending up by themselves. Some of them have mental illness or dementia going on, or they were an alcoholic. Those things WILL drive family and friends away, often for good. Still, it is painful to watch.

  7. Very thought provoking once again – thank you.
    I have actually been through this very process you are describing since January 2010 – it obviously hits my chart a little earlier. That Saturn-Pluto conjunction in 2020 hits my H2. There’s nothing left to take in the monetary sense, so could not care less in that regard. All I worked for was taken from me – 25 yr relationship/23 yrs married & for what? Just so the weak bastard could benefit. On his way out when he took the luxury car I paid cash for from my redundancy, he bankrupted me 4 months after he walked out telling me, “I need to sort my head out”. My marriage ended with me having NO say in the matter whatsoever. You have to asked yourself, who does that to another? To someone you shared a life with for 1/4 century? What does astrology say, “you cannot hide your true self forever” or, “leopards cannot change their spots”! Very true.
    You bet it knocked me sideways, but today I drove past him (still driving my car that we walked out with with my customised number plates) & I laughed out loud – I had a smile on my face all day long – astrology just works! (Cap sun was opposite natal Sun exact this morning). So over him & whatever he stood for in my life. (Why that road? I was dropping my daughter off so she could go camping with her beau for a full week).
    My very ex-husband tried to destroy me & our family, but he has failed. His siblings, the inlaws & the outlaws, the extended family also tried & failed. My ex-sister-in-law (the one who liked the secret family gossipping) even tried to turn my kids against me at the grandfathers funeral & she too, failed. My own mother tried to turn my kids against me over some cocked-up drama about money & failed (they saw through it immediately whilst I got upset). My brother did her bidding & he too failed. When my mother passed recently at 93yrs, apparently I was not to know as he stated, but this brother of mine took great delight in telling me in 3 phone conversations (I no longer take his calls BTW) that right to the end, mother would not recognise me? I was hated from my cradle to her death, because I was responsible for bringing myself into this world?! Well over it & them. If all my brother cares about is how he is going to spend the entire inheritance on himself, then I do not need to know.
    What I am so ever grateful for, is that I have two terrific young adults for children who are my family, where we all stand by each other through thick & thin. I am proud of them. My daughter maybe deaf & had 3 cochlear implants, but she is an amazing young woman; so grounded & true. My son has just passed his MBA & his graduation is in Adelaide in June, has a terrific girlfriend & we’ll be there for that graduation.
    I have had the intensity already (Pluto). What I am looking forward to is that Sun shining a light on a career path (even at my age, I still have goals I want to kick).
    Positive thoughts, getting up in the morning & being thankful for being alive to see the sunrise each day makes me happy. Saturn-Pluto needs intense sunshine for me 0:)

  8. Can’t lose what you never had to begin with, ya know? Losing family and friends because they want you to be someone else is losing people you never had to begin with…which isn’t losing anything. The only people who matter are people who love you for who you are, as is, unconditionally.

    1. Maybe. But it may also be, if you live long enough, that there are cases when you really did have a friend or family member who is no longer there, for any number of reasons.

      The people who love you for who you are may only do for a finite time. In fact, I think this is probably the most common scenario.

  9. I’m also thinking of someone like my mother and mother-in-law. Now, yes, they have children and grandchildren but they have no siblings, parents, cousins, most of their longtime friends are gone…the people they grew up with. That’s pretty profound to me, too.

  10. I am already at the point in my life where I have no immediate family (58). I have wonderful friends, though they are scattered across the country. The only difficulty is finding someone to be your ICE.

  11. Pluto is now conjunct my Moon and when I look at Saturn careening toward her, I’m straight-up terrified. Saturn nearly did me in when it was in Leo (my ascendant, which has three good friends: Mars, Mercury and Venus).

    This feels worse, particularly since I just finished my Chiron return and Uranus has been sitting on my Aries MC for ages, thanks to the Rx cycle. It feels like things are crumbling bit by bit, and that these two are going to finish them off.

  12. I have the painting and I want to know the meaning of it. The artist is Tafoya. email or text me at 480 459 9630.Thank you

    1. Yes, I know, Tafoya. The man was sitting on a bench on Colfax Avenue in Denver. Bad part of town. Tafoya liked the way he looked so he took his picture and painted him.

      As I recall, he thought it was one hell of a way to end up, one one level. But he also thought the guy was okay. He was out and about. He wondered if he would end up in a similar circumstances.

  13. This post sums Saturn Pluto conjuction in Cap for me

    They are at the end of my 3rd house..and i dont remember whats it like having friends or anyone to just talk to

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