The Secret To Getting Along With Others

rug fringeNine months ago, I was feeling stressed and pulled in all directions. I realized I was part of the fabric of a group.

I also realized I’m was not made for this. I naturally belong on the fringe of society. You know that floppy edge of a rug?

That’s where I go – Life On The Margin.  I began to retreat a year ago.

It wasn’t that easy.  I had deal with this person:

Why Does This Woman Copy Everything I Do?

I also had people try to hold on to me. Just as frequently, I was the one struggling to let go.  But a couple weeks ago, I thought of the woman I wrote about in the copying post. I realized I’d truly separated.  She was no longer in my head. I did it!

Now I am quite social! I have Libra in my chart and a strong Jupitarian streak. I want to get out there!  So when I left this group, I found my way into another group.

I’m far more comfortable in the new group. This is not a saint/sinner thing. “I left my ex and my new boyfriend is fantabulous!”  It’s just a fact.  The new group is smaller and it has a different quality.

The main difference I saw right away, is people don’t get in your business.  They’re nice but not trying to be your new best friend. No one tried to recruit me into some kind of faction.

This is how I like things to be.  It’s like the forum on this blog. If you want to be there, be there. If not, then don’t. So many things are compulsory!  We need free time in our lives.

After being involved with the new group for about eight months; I am struck by the difference between the two. These communities are twenty miles apart – it may as well be world away. But I’m not the only one whose is aware of this divide.

There is a man watching the same thing I am. He asked one of the leaders in the group, how they managed to get along so well.

Jupiter“Well, we’re all we’ve got.  All we have is each other and we know it…”

I thought that was interesting but I’ll take it a bit further.

What I see is people forgiving each other.   Oh!  Elsa screwed up. We forgive her because we screw up all the time too!

The forgiveness is instant, by the way.  Oops! Dropped your fork! You’re instantly forgiven because anything else is insanity.

People are in the habit of holding onto their grudges as if they gain something from them.  These things are not actually precious.  But the willingness and the ability to forgive someone, to give them the benefit of the doubt, as I have said on this blog, over and over? This really does value that is out of this world.

Collectively speaking, we’re way too mean and we’re way too petty. If you’re in a group like this; I’d get out.  Get out because nothing truly good will ever come of it.

Jupiter in Sagittarius.

15 thoughts on “The Secret To Getting Along With Others”

  1. I left a “group” of sorts back in mid-December. I had tried to before, but failed. This time, I succeeded. It was actually easy this time.

    At the same time, I became active in another group. Wow! What a difference!

    Okay. I just used the word “time” three times! (Now 4!)

    Must be related to Saturn (time/timing) in my 12th house, with Pluto!

    We all need to be part of “something”, but it needs to be the right (healthy) something.

  2. Well, I work with group of about 30
    I’ve tried too hard to not overlook anyone but most importantly I need to remind myself
    I am pretty different and lucky to notice Me,not in concert with others
    Just me who stares at the trees
    And on those days I pick on myself
    “ should’ve could’ve would’ve of days “
    Gotta blame it on the stars
    I think I am going to be ok
    Thanks for sharing liking at your trip
    Good for me too

  3. I hope I can get to the place where you are. I’ve been slowly disconnecting from a group because I don’t like to just drop people, but it isn’t the right group. Additionally, I don’t have many people besides them. And they aren’t totally right for me. So I stay. Be brave and leave? That was me a decade ago. Now I am about commitment. I can’t just cut the last string for some reason. I guess I’m tired of feeling lonely even though I feel that way around them too. And I’ve known them a while. Things weren’t always bad. Maybe there is hope?

    Luckily I have met one new friend who is a real deal type, just wants to be friends, honest and there for me. It’s all I’ve got to go on so I’ll put the energy there and let the other group take its course. I’ve just been through a Saturn opp. Moon transit so it’s been really rough.

  4. This post really clears a lot of uncertainty from my muddle. We are definitely in the wrong for us group and are just starting our exit. “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society/group.”-Krishnamurti And Elsa: “Collectively speaking, we’re way too mean and we’re way too petty. If you’re in a group like this; I’d get out. Get out because nothing truly good will ever come of it.”
    I so needed to read your post today Elsa! Because a group of mean and petty is not a place to stay.Yes. Thank you for putting it so plain.

  5. Group fabric. Great phrase! I am forever a rent, a snag, a hole in the fabric. No group can ever represent 100% of who I am. Whoop whoop for individual identity.

    It doesn’t scream Jupiter to me either. Jupiter is a lot of beliefyisms that we hide behind. Group protection. It’s the animal part of us. Our wild friends in the animal kingdom do this too for survival reasons.

    Although I can say that the sags I know do go along well with whatever and whoever they are in contact at the moment. I don’t know that they buy on, but they seem to be good at blurring the boundaries in the moment.

  6. I took a chance on an invitation to join a group studying Non-Ciolent Communication. I love it! It’s small and held at a local church in my town. It is Spiritual but not religious. All the people enjoy each other’s company and due to the type of group it is, forgiveness is automatic but also authentic. No fake “you get a pass this time”. I love my group and am so glad I was invited to join!

  7. Brene Brown (?) I am going to buy her – wrote something about fitting in versus belonging, and the difference between the two. This has been a major sticking point for me – and it was just a relief to see it written down. I am glad you found a sense of belonging with a group of nice people.

  8. Might this be the difference between a cult and…not a cult? I would say cult vs religion but I don’t really mean that. I mean, with one you can give everything away and still never be absolved. With the other, there is forgiveness.

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