My poor kid. My son started school early (which is why he lies about his age there) and used to attend the magnet school for gifted and talented as well. It’s a public school, so free but you have to provide transportation. My daughter went there as well which is how I wound up driving a car pool for 6 years but anyway, 2 years ago I had to pull my son from this school due family hardship – my daughter’s illness.
On the surface he transitioned to his new school very well. His grades were great and his teacher loved him. In fact, she loved him so much she came and got him over the summer to take him to lunch and on a shopping spree at Borders! However he was completely sad and distraught leaving his original school and just suffering unbeknownst to anyone except me of course.
So now its two years later and I am in a position I can transport him to this other school again. I asked him if he wanted to go back and he was thrilled at the chance so last month I stopped at the school to get an application and when they saw me come in the staff in the office whooped for joy. They really like my kids.
“Vidroid? Let’s just rubber stamp that app,” someone said.
It made me feel really good because my son did not work all that hard in this school. Not the way he does now at least so I thought they are not going to believe how he has grown. I was also able to tell my son about their reaction which was very heartening to a kid who has been through so much.
So now it is a month later and we just got the official notice he has been accepted and guess what? Now he is not sure he wants to go! Why? Because he has made a bunch of friends.
Although my son has never had a problem making friends, this year his social life was devastated by his over-zealous teacher. So thrilled with him, she would hold his work up as an example to the rest of the class, over and over and over and you can imagine how devastating this would be when it comes to the playground. No one wanted anything to do with him!
This went on for months until eventually he really became depressed and he allowed me to speak to his teacher which solved the problem instantly. (My Son’s Teacher Got Hit Hard. I Know Because I Hit Her) And when she backed off… he was able to build a social circle which he will now have to abandon of he chooses to go back to the other school.
::sighs::
On top of this, he is Libra Moon, Rising so you know he can’t decide shit!
Not to mention that he is incredibly aware of the impact his leaving will have on his friends.
My son has a Libra Moon and is one of the most gentle humans I know. These people emanate a soft,soulful beauty.
Whatever he decides it will probably be the right thing at the right time for him.
Bless his sweet Libra side! Reading this reminded me I started first grade when I was 5 yrs old (I have Sun sq Saturn). It was not easy as I was very shy and terrified the teacher would call on me. So I spent my grade school years in the school library. Eventually I made friends – I do have Libra – and my mom decided to ship us off to the neighboring high school. It took me to the end of my senior year to find a group of like-minded friends . . . about the time I graduated! The moral here is the older I get, the happier I am! 🙂
my first five years of elementary school were in four different schools, and it was awful- i had a lot of difficulty making friends (extremely shy.)
but this school is someplace he’s already been. he knows kids there, too, right?
there’s something to learn about transitions and adaptability. which it seems he manages just fine 😉 but losing friends is hard.
(well, transitions involving sociability, i couldn’t say beyond that)
Well I don’t think he has to lose friends. These kids live in the neighborhood. He is more apt to gain friends – re hooking up with the kids from his old school who are still there.
That’s why kids have parents. We make the decisions. We make the best choice we can. They’ll hate us later if they want to regardless.
I had to really search way down deep to investigate my decision to take custody of my son rather than let his father’s big Dad Show sway me into letting him go. His father kept inviting my son to testify in court that he’d rather have a dad than a mom, and used big wads of cash and computers and new bikes as lures. I had gotten to the point that I had no idea if I was doing the right thing or not. Financiallly, with his father, my son would have had a better life. At least that was the argument.
I remember saying to my son: I think you should let me make this decision instead of making it for yourself. If there’s a mistake made and you’re unhappy later, I would rather it was my mistake.
I thought he was too young to take the responsibility for a choice like that. And too young to be forced to choose between his parents. So I went to court every week for a year or so and my son stayed with me.
Now I don’t think it was a mistake. But it could have been, as far as I knew then. What did I know? I was used to my ex-husband telling me what to do. One thing that’s true, though, is that my son never had to choose between his dad and his mom. I’m a Libra sun. That might be one of the hardest things I ever did in my life.
Sun conj Saturn in Aquarius here.
Might not be relevant but here’s something that I remembered while reading your son’s story.
A few years ago I went to India and took vedic astrology classes. And every time before class started, I made sure that all the chairs were in order, the whiteboard cleaned, incense burning, and it was normal behavior to me. Of course, the teacher loved it but I didn’t do it so that the teacher loves me (or so I think – but there may be some underlying energy here), it was out of natural respect to the teacher, which I think is a Sun/Saturn thing.
When I was a child, I was the teacher’s favorite for the same reason, and some children hated it, but I didn’t realize why until I got to India and saw what I was doing. I moved school so frequently (courtesy Uranus conj IC) but every time it was the same, I got great grades and worked so hard to make myself recognized (Sun/Sat in 9th).
Elsa I read this and thought of how I’m similar to Vid in some way (I have Taurus Sun square Saturn).
I was moved when I was 11, and at my new school was bullied badly and ended up without friends. But a few months later I moved again, and guess what?
I wanted to stay at the school with the bullies because I didn’t want to be moved…jeez whizz, don’t make me moved again.
Perhaps it’s better the devil you know?
The taurean fear of change.. I moved in with my dad rather than move cross country with my mum just so i didnt have to change schools. I’d just got me some buddies finally (i take ages making friends) and really didnt want to go thru the whole process again. Good job cos they moved about 3 more times after that (my sister, a double sag, went with..funny how it fits with our signs, she’s always moving and i tend to stay put).
I agree with those who say it shouldn’t be the child’s decision, it’s too darned hard to look past present gratification to future benefits. Even adults sometimes have problems with those type of decisions.
And I agree that he wouldn’t lose any friends. Opportunities to expand your “base” only increases the number of people who are potential friends.
So I would probably finish up the school year where he is, and begin the next school year at the new/old place. The dynamics change each year anyway.
He’ll do very well wherever he is. He has that inner quality that shines.
Ya know, Vidroid is an awesome kid and I’m sure that if there are friends in this school that he likes well enough, he’ll keep in touch with them when he moves back to the magnet school. It’s not like he has to abandon them, right? They all live in your neighborhood, so just make sure to invite ’em to the pool party (e.g.) and let the “magnet kids” mingle with the “regular joes” — I’m sure it’d be eye-opening for kids his age.
I remember what it was like being the young, smart kid, and it can be a lot to bear. But I’m sure he’ll pull through with aplomb! It’s what we Sun-Saturn types do best. (And if we’re Leos that means we get to brag about it, too! 😉 )