I have strong feelings about single parenthood and they are getting stronger every day. There has been an enormous influx of male energy since the soldier arrived and the arrived full time and the benefits to my son are absolutely stunning.
As a woman, I have little knowledge of the secret lives of boys. I am finding out that it does not matter how sophisticated I may (or may not) be… I am not a man means I am not a man means I am not a man.
So now when the soldier shuttles my son and his friend between the houses he is privy to the fact their art teacher has a tattoo on her chest and the boys wonder if it goes all the way to her “thingies”. Think my son would ever mention such a thing to me? ::smiles::
Just think how happy he must be to share this with the soldier. These boys are in heaven.
A few days ago the soldier told me that Vidroid, who likes to climb on him, stand on him, be bench pressed into the air by him, has no qualms climbing on his shoulders and then farting. The soldier was smirking when he told me – This is boy stuff and I was humbled. Best not fart on me.
So this morning the soldier was remarking he needed to shave. Vidroid was sitting next to him on the couch, he LOVVVVVES him.
“Yeah it’s bad,” the soldier said. “It’s like this.”
He leaned over and rubbed his whiskers against Vidroid’s arm and he shrieked. The look on his face was priceless.
“Payback for climbing on a man and farting,” I said. Both the Tauri laughed. But here’s my point:
Shoot me if you wish but single parenthood sucks. People (and this means children) need Venus AND Mars energy. I don’t have the RAW MALE ENERGY my son craves.
What I think what is going on here is an early heads up to Pluto in Capricorn which is concerned with the male/female and the mother/father situations.
I see this connection because what I feel is humbled (Capricorn) and empowered (Pluto). Because while you cannot do without a man, you cannot do with a woman either…
Comments anyone?
Yeah, single parenthood does suck.
Obviously people sometimes need to get out of relationships and situations that are detrimental to the health of the parents and the children. But after the fact, that doesn’t make the huge responsibility of single parenthood suck any less.
These male and female energies are essential in development. This is the stuff that will follow kids and shape their relationships for the rest of their lives.
No pressure for parents or anything. 😉
I have an abundance of single mums in my life and can attest that yes: children benefit hugely from the influence of both genders in their life.
It is the common idea that it is ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ that has people up in arms. This role can take many forms…in the case of my closest friends son, it is his chess mentor; for my niece it is her grandfather.
Then again I have Venus conjunct Mars in Aries, and so have always welcomed both sexes in my life.
I’m a female who grew up without a father, so I know what it’s like not to have that influence and context in your life; I think it really messed me up where being able to relate to men is concerned. I think my experience is one of the reasons I hung in there with my sons’ father so long: I thought they were really lucky to have a dad who loved them and cared about them, and yes, being the only female in a testosterone-packed house was quite the experience – I didn’t get their jokes, reacted way more strongly to juvenile male comments/behavior, always felt like the outsider I was, plus they were so LOUD. But we made it through all that and today I can see both of us in my sons, and I’m glad they have the male/female balance that is so important in life.
quite. some of the best advice i was given as a pregnant single mother- to- be came from a newspaper art director who’d been raised by his mother- which was to expose to my son to as many good men as i could find. friends were fine, as long as he had them around to interact with.
so i’ve done what i can. and the kid definitely needs that energy. he also does well to spend time around women who are more yin than i, too… (it helps that we share a house with his “uncle” and “aunt.”)
I have known this so strongly. I see the difference in my kids when we go to their dad’s house. I think it all depends on who the dad is.
The father of my older kid is not a manly man and the kids think of him less…they tell me more. Around The one they call dad (the younger boys dad) they are all macho!
My dad and I were/are not very close. We don’t show affection towards eachother, we don’t really talk much, it’s pretty sad. Because of this, I don’t really relate to men all that much. I’m actually very shy around men I don’t know. My husband is the only man I have ever felt close to. I have a brother but he’s 8 years younger than me, so we don’t really relate yet either (he’s 18). My husband and I have two children, they’re both girls….so my poor husband has all the pressure to be all the man I ever needed 🙂
P.S.
I think it is very important for a girl to have a male figure in her life. I lacked that growing up, so of course I played the “sex kitten” who obviously was in dire need of male attention. It was my sorry attempt at relating to the male species.
Commiseration. My son is very very small and while he gets Mars energy from his father, he doesn’t spend enough time with him, and let’s just say there’s too much Pluto and Saturn badly mixed with that Mars energy for me to believe it’s all good for him. I have so much Venus energy and since I’m young and newly single, I try not to appear too eager to acquire a male role model for my son. But oh, how I would love a Soldier for him.
yes i notice this alot with boys, little boys, children, toddlers, just little guys in general, they tend to gravitate to the men/male relatives, want to be around them, play with them, (rough play and they love that!!) there is unspoken, inner sense they know, that they need the companionship of men. This is a crucial part of growing up for young boys.At least that’s what i notice with all the male toddlers, little boys in our family circle.
What a sweet and funny memory to have documented here! Especially as Vid is now in college.
Single parenting is not fun at times but it is better than staying in an unhealthy / damaging relationship. While it is great for children to grow up with both parents / both sexes it is imho more important for them to be around good ppl. Sometimes that means to only have one parent. Food for thought: We are one of the few mammals that include the male on child rearing.