Saturn in Virgo is kicking up my natal Saturn (reality) Neptune problems, big time. On the way home from the gym today, talking to the soldier…
“Well I am going to try, try, try. I just have to do this stuff. I have got to get some of these things done, people have no idea.” I rattled off some details. “I look around and see this stuff and I just want to cry. I have got to put some of this stuff together so we can function around here. My kids. There is just no other option and I can’t believe no one can see the trouble I am in.”
“Well they’re judging your persona by those videos.”
I laughed. “That doesn’t matter. I can tell people what is going on in plain language and I can do it 100 times and they still can’t see it. They just cannot see it and you have the same problem you know. People can’t see you either. They have no idea how hard our lives are… what we go through.”
“No they don’t.”
“Yeah, we have that in common. I think this is why we get along. It’s because most people could stand to live even one day of either of our lives and they don’t know it but we know it about it each other. We have compassion for each other. But anyway, this is what I am going to do. I’m going to do same as you do when you have an impossible day. You focus and do not let up. I am going to do that today. I am going to just go non-stop and see how much of this I can knock out because if I do not manage… well things are just going to fail around here, that is all there is to it. It just can’t get any worse and I have no choice but to knock things back, or else.”
“Okay, P. Well you sound like you have some momentum…”
“Yep… see ya.”
We talked about this once before… it was one of the most commented blogs of all time:
Astrology and the Midheaven – How Do People See You When You’re Out In The World?
Do you think people see you or do you live as a hologram the way I do… and the soldier does? What’s your Neptune / Pisces situation?
My Neptune is in Scorpio in 12th house. Nothing in Pisces as far as I can tell ***shakes AstroKaledioscope*** (Sorry, can’t tell if this darn thing is working right or not! :)) It may be the operator who doesn’t know what she’s doing!
Was wondering yesterday how your daughter is feeling? Keep well yourself, and don’t forget to stop and take a small breather here or there today! I just love those days when I get on a good roll.
Watch out world, she’s got a head of steam on her!
Oh – people see me as intimidating, while actually I’m just observating with a more or less blank face.
dreams – my daughter is in trouble every day. My family is in trouble every day. This is true whether it is visible or not and I say it enough times you would think people would hear me.
I guess I would say if you know a parent with a sick child, either help them or don’t. But to target them, bother them, harm them… any of this kind of stuff is just unfathomable to me. But it shouldn’t be, because look what they do to Britney Spears!!!
And then people come on and say that people aren’t animals. Well yes. Yes they are animals! Perhaps you have to be in my position to see this??
I’m sorry to hear that it is an ongoing battle – I have yet to find time to read all your archives, but I’m getting thru them a bit at a time.
What they do to Britney is disgusting to my way of looking at it. You feel big tracking a scared rabbit? I say go to the zoo and watch the caged animals! Similarly Horrible BULLY behaviour. Just watch out if the animal ever breaks out of their cage it’ll be the papparrazi who’s trampled.
Seems we can all be animalistic at times, it feels a SAD part of the human condition. May be our task is to overcome it? I wonder if the picking on someone down is a hold-over from our tribal days, a method of disenfranchising the sick who might hold the group back in some way?
I have a really hard time with this – I’m the one who doesn’t want to leave people behind or out of the group, so just be aware that there are people who do care, even if sometimes it is hard to see them.
I don’t know the answer Elsa, but I am sorry that it’s happening to your family. Great it be for your little ones that they have you to Momma Bear anyone who tries to harm them.
No, I don’t think we have to be in your position to see it, maybe we humans just all need to slow down a bit and see that if we can’t support others in their times of need who do we think is going to be around when the shoe is on the other foot! There is much to be said for that old golden rule.
Chiron conjunct the Midheaven in Pisces. I’m the guy at work who knows where the first aid kit is. 🙂
Pisces rising, neptune on the mc conjunct sun/merc/mars/ square saturn and asc. Everyone sees something different, it’s amazing really. And a lot of the time I’ve noticed I’m invisible to others, even if I’m right in front of them physically.
But it doesn’t seem that unusual, since I don’t even know who I am. I do think some people sense my pain, because there’s been a lot of it lately. I can almost feel them cringe as they look at me or walk past without looking. It sucks, but I can’t blame them for not wanting to feel it too. Yet others are clueless.
Hang in there Elsa, I’m sorry it’s so hard for you guys.
i’ve tried for a long time to figure how people see me, but i really have no idea. it’s incomprehensible to me.
jupiter is in loose conjunction to the MC. my neptune’s in loose opposition to the midheaven (but not jupiter.) doing the gemini/sag square thing to the ascendant axis of virgo/pisces.
but they’re all loose aspects. and i’ve never been able to get a good picture of them. jupiter’s unaspected otherwise and neptune’s one of my more heavily aspected planets, so it’s usually busy dealing with all that stuff.
so, i don’t know. sometimes _I_ can’t see myself, let alone whatever other people see.
it’s obvious to me that your life is difficult, even if you don’t talk about it endlessly. and the grace you project in facing it i find inspiring. but everybody comes here looking for different things, and so may only notice one thing or another through their filters. i’m sure there are things i don’t pick up on, myself.
we all have different colored glasses 😉
It’s very intersting that you publish this. Yesterday I blogged about a conversation I had with my therapist:
” … often I think people think I’m stupid or just don’t understand me. How I feel like I walk around the Earth on some parallel plane, where it’s like I’m a ghost to most people – visible, but transparent. And how almost all strangers or people who I do not connect with well are like ghosts to me on my plane. She kept saying that she found that odd, because she had no trouble at all understanding what I was saying, and I said, “Yes, but that’s because you hear me. Some people do, but most don’t. They hear the words coming out of my mouth, but they really don’t get what they mean.”
I also have been going through the impossible pile of details. I feel like I’m shoveling a driveway, but it keeps snowing. I can’t shovel enough to ever get things in a cleaned up state. And I am nearly on the edge of a panic attack, and I’ve just said to someone how busy I am, and they ask me to do something else. As though, did they not just hear what I just said?
And everything that has come up is not something I can put off. It all feels like it has to be done now. And there’s just no hope for it.
I did exactly what you did – I decided to try to stop fretting about it and just face it for as long as I could, hoping that maybe I’d get through enough. But I had to drop some balls. It felt it would have been humanly impossible to juggle them all.
Natally I have Neptune – Sag in 3rd house. No Pisces, but moon on the Aquarius cusp in the 6th.
No, I don´t think people see who I am, but I´m happy with that. I guess I´m much too private, so actually, I prefer it that way. Some people think I got things served on a golden platter, don´t know where that came from, not true at all; some people have seen me as a kind of “mother Teresa”, that must be the Moon in Pisces part. Also, I don´t know what it is, but when I´m out on a walk, people, all kinds, will always come up to ME to ask to have their picture taken. That has been annoying at times, I learned to say no sometimes. Neptune 11th H conjunct SN, part of a grand trine.
People see more of me now that I am losing my sense of…I dunno…privacy? I’m way more fearless now that I’ve hit 30. Looking forward to being an old lady and being even more fearless.
I don’t care what people see, as long as they don’t see an asshole, because I value kindness above everything.
Hi Elsa,
Well – on the people not cutting you slack comment, I’ve found that people have the capacity to be either incredibly kind or too self-absorbed to see you. My analogy; we’re half-beast, half-angel. Some of us operate more out of our beast than our angel…..
On being seen – how do we know whether what other people are seeing is just stuff that’s in our blindspot? I think all of us are blind to certain aspects of our personalities….
I have Cap Rising, Scorpio Sun + Pisces Moon plus Virgo on the MC. I come across as completely together, professional and sometimes ‘hard'(I’ve been told)….back at the ranch…..I’m the one who feeds and loves the feral cats at work, volunteers and is the first person someone calls when they are in a crisis?? wff??
I’m amazed that people don’t see my big, warm, quivering heart but I do get why. My astrologist told me to ‘Show more of myself’….it’s really hard for me but i sure am trying.
Blessings
C
PS: Still praying for your daughter.