Beginning A Relationship With Someone You’re Obsessed With

white hot passionHave you ever wanted someone with a white-hot passion? I see this sometimes.  A person wants another person very badly. They plot! They plan!

I have seen situations like this fail but I’ve also seen people get what they want. Hand well-played?

Now do they want what the get, once it’s been procured? Sometimes.

What do you know about this? Have you ever pursued anyone like this? Have you been the object of desire?

What do you think the astrology is?  It is something in the obsessive person’s chart?  Is it a cross-aspect?

What about the person being desired.  Would this show in their chart? I say, yes.

What do you say?

32 thoughts on “Beginning A Relationship With Someone You’re Obsessed With”

  1. This is very interesting.

    My initial response was to simply say “Pluto in synastry”, and then I thought about it more…the specific aspects. I think it might depend if it’s a woman’s or a man’s chart (either one being applicable to those who are gender neutral). So perhaps:

    Man: Venus-Pluto aspects e.g., Venus in Aries or 1st house would be a pursuer and pursued by women with a strong Aries or Mars signature.

    Woman: Mars-Pluto aspects e.g., Mars in Libra or 7th house would pursue romantic relationships or be pursued by men in a romantic relationship.

    In both examples it clearly translates to Venus and Mars combined by Pluto, and in Aries/Libra axis or 1st/7th axis.

    Now if a Man and Woman get involved and both of them have the above aspects in their respective natal charts, it might seesaw … sometimes he pursues, and other times she pursues. I would expect such a relationship to have a strong Venus, Mars, Pluto signature in the Composite chart e.g. Venus and Mars exalted and Pluto in Aries/Libra and/or 1st/7th axis.

      1. obsessive (Pluto) thoughts (Mercury) comes to mind.

        Mercury-Pluto more likely speaks of the communication style e.g. Mercury in Aries aspecting Pluto in a natal chart might say it like it is and those words may cut really deep. Another possibility with Mercury-Pluto is getting caught up in “unrequited love” situations where thoughts (Mercury) become obsessive (Pluto) especially with Mercury in Aries/Libra and/or 1st/7th houses axes PLUS challenging Venus and/or Mars natal chart aspects e.g. Venus-Saturn in hard aspects causing problems with the ability to form relationships or Mars-Saturn in hard aspects causing problems with desires debilitating any drive to act.

        In the romantic sphere, particularly with synastry I think you would need aspects involving Venus and Mars to make something more out of Mercury-Pluto. Mars takes action, it’s the drive, desire to act. That’s why I think the Aries/Libra and/or 1st/7th axes in relation to what we want (Venus) and how we go about getting it (Mars) are key ingredients in the context of this article and these type of obsessive pursuit relationships.

        It’s also worth looking at Sun/Moon Midpoints that are very sensitive relationship points – hard aspects only within orbs 0-2 degrees with Pluto, naturally depending on the rest of the chart, may possibly manifest as obsessive relationships.

        1. Does my Venus/Mars (23 degrees) sextile Jupiter (21 degrees) on someone else’s Sun/Venus (19/21 degrees) cut it? Their Mars is at 17 degrees.

          1. Yes, that’s possible. Depends on the signs, houses and other aspects in both charts and through synastry.

            It sounds lovely. You reminded me that sextiles are top in my list of favorites – because while they are more subtle and not in your face like hard aspects, sextiles are effortlessly supportive energy in perfect synchronicity.

            1. No actually..

              I mean my Venus is opposition their Venus (and Mars is conjunct)

              I’m struggling because their moon is very different from mine (theirs is in Aquarius, mine is in water) and they always fucking yawn when I start talking and I think their pet causes are ridiculous 🙁 I don’t understand why if mercury Pluto is involved

              There are some other interaspects that are I would say a bit explosive and combative.. their Uranus is also square my Mars

              1. Hard to say without seeing the charts. So, you may want to post them (Chart of person A, then of person B and their Composite) in the Forum with your question. I’m sure someone will provide some light.

                Midara also offers an awesome in-depth relationship analysis … it’s worth it!

  2. I would consider the relationship asteroid placements of Eros (#433) and Psyche (#16). Asteroid Klytia (#73) is the “Fatal Attraction” asteroid of unrequited love.

  3. I never plotted and planned but My late husband did with me. He actually said after we met that I was going to be his project.
    He had an Aries sun..I have a Libra Mars so yes I think that fits. I have always been pursued.

  4. Very much so. Me and the old man have Pluto Venus signatures in our composite and synastry it’s been a hell of a ride.

  5. Yes. Planning and plotting and I won the man but soon after found out it was no good. Still held on. Big failure. But yes, i was obsessed. Astrologically i dont know.

  6. nope i dont think that i did. i basically just said i want you and let’s go. LOL xDD but if i know someone wants me and i can tell, and i dont want them back i will cut them off completely. i dont want them to plot for me at all and i will make sure they never do. or make myself be with someone or i will plot to make myself really awful so they dont want me. I’ve done that. I regret doing it because i dont know why i dont accept people’s adoration. i just can’t deal. lol i just want one person that i’m focused on to love me. it’s eye on the prize. whats the astrology? i have no clue.

  7. My Pluto conj. descendant went hard after someone with Pluto conj. ascendant. I’m sure there were other factors, but I got this “destiny” feeling about him, bided my time, and then drew him to me. It was a tumultuous relationship and lasted longer than it should have!

      1. Yep. I don’t know if things would have been different if we’d been older when we met, but I doubt it. He was a Libra with a Gemini moon, paired with me, that wasn’t too great. He was a serial cheater, in love with falling in love, and I was the “needy, clingy, moody” (his words) Cancer. I just wanted to be with him and be able to trust him, and you know, get married. That wasn’t an option with him.

        1. @dolce
          Both your comments sound like i wrote them?
          Highly resonant?
          But with mine, destiny went above&beyond and i could (still) almost believe TwinFlame if that werent crazy! lol

  8. My Mars & Saturn very tight to her Uranus & Neptune. We worked together & she was so talented. Suddenly I was lovestruck, obsessed, projecting Aphrodite uncontrollably. Addiction by any other name. Heartstopping. Never made any kind of move, never wanted to, the connection too important. Just longing and more longing, just to be with her, see her, meet her green eyes with mine. (Oh did I mention I’m Sun/Venus square Neptune?) In the end I outed myself after a year, told her I needed no contact, tried to detach from the obsession but every time she messaged me (innocently) I got triggered. That was a mistake, I now see, to put the ball in her court. But I desperately needed to smash the projection somehow, and long story short I think it has worked, but at a cost – I intuit her desire to punish me. There’s narcissism in it, there’s a lot in it that’s shadowy – I’m talking about me. But something so beautiful too, essential and life enhancing – she’s a wonderful person, so intelligent, much much younger. Midlife crisis. Undone. All innocent. Much synchronicity. Much intoxication. Much pain.

    1. p.s. When at the end I suddenly had the impulse to look at my progressed Venus, there it was in Taurus, exactly opposite her Libra Sun

    2. Wow!

      I can see the beauty … to me, the Pluto, Mars, Scorpio, Aries signatures jump out from your words. It is intoxicating! The shadow necessitates the light. I don’t think one can be without the other in these types of relationships. When what we want (Venus) is the need to merge (8th house), to hunt is primal (Mars) and it can get obsessive (Pluto), really fast. Therein, the pursuit to be filled entails.

      1. Avatar
        Matthew Burton

        Taurus rising, my ruling planet is Venus, Sun exactly conjunct Venus. I read this recently (Liz Greene), as i tried to process it all out: “Venus-Neptune does not seek a mortal partner in whose mirror its own values can be reflected; it seeks union with a deity. Only here can absolute beauty and perfection be found.”

  9. I pursued two of my exes successfully, who had their Suns square my Pluto, the desire had very obsessive quality to it, and yes, I wanted them till the end of the relationship and still feel love for them. There were objective reasons to break up so we did, amicably.

  10. Can relate to wanting,feeling curious ,but baiting would be word that worked in my thoughts, I have strong faith in nature;that leaves me in the audien not directors chair.I fall short to imagine the response of a plot,I probably haven’t used the word enough. I dream and hope for similar wants
    Plot , difficult thought to believe,guess I should have read more plays I would be able to build the thought

  11. I think there could be some fixed signs involved here. Take Scorpio or yes – Pluto, yes. But probably more like Mercury Scorpio or Venus/Moon in 8th house, also in a fixed sign or with an aspect to a fixed sign planet, Venus or Pluto.
    Perhaps Venus in Scorpio as she is THE obsessive moody lady. I have her myself – in Scorpio, with Mercury and the Sun. But I guess Mars in similar situations or aspects could be obsessed as well.

    I can only speak for myself but all of these planets and positions have made ME very obsessed before and will again. Especially after a breakup – can’t get over them, become obsessed with their life without me. (how dare they have a life after leaving me!) And also with topics – I can have a hard time letting myself off the hook when I pursue a topic 😉
    Practical when studying at least…

    1. Oh, and – depending on the aspects – the North Node can be a factor too I’d say.

      My BF’s sun is loosely conjunct my Cancer NN, and I am just so darn attracted to his essence. It’s like his very being both calms me as well as feels like a path I *must* go, if nothing else for all there is to learn, since he has qualities I need to develop.

      His Sun is conjunct his DC, so my NN here… Yeah, you do the math 😉

  12. Yay, I dreamed up my hubby and through a pink curtain he came. I was in need of a major shift,after a divorce, and let a spark of inspiration light my Pluto. I pursued. Plot? Yay, there was some of that, too. I have Venus conjunct Jupiter in the 11th I search out the ‘foreign’ and found that in him. Venus-Jupiter tries my Pluto Stellium in the 7th house Leo. I projected what I wanted. My husband has Venus Pluto in his 11th House in Leo. We’ve had, and continue to have an incredible, and often obsessive, love affair after more than 25 yrs. From far corners of the world, culturally and astrologically, we tell a whacky story together.

  13. I have had many males and a few females obsessed with me unfortunately. Even as a child men were inappropriate and sexual with me. The first stalker I had was before I was 8 years old. I learned at a very young age that wearing anything that showed skin would invite unwanted attention.

    I have Pluto on my ascendant, true Lilith a few degrees off of my ascendant plus Uranus at later degrees in the first house. My stellium in the opposite sign includes Chiron conjunct my Venus.

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