Nobody wants to be seen as “hateful”, especially in this era. You might say you have no hate in your heart. You may feel the people around you do?
You have no hate, you have no hate, you have no hate. Further, you have no hate.
But boy that person pisses you off, man do they piss you off, you are REALLY PISSED OFF now… at that bastard.
It’s at this point, you act. You pull all the plugs. You fire all your cannons and bash the person into mush if you can.
What is this? What sign(s) or aspects are prone to it?
It is a form of passive-aggressiveness?
How can a person break this pattern?
Is this a love/hate thing?
I know there is someone out there who can tell me.
It’s like those colgate smile people who are still smiling whilst their eyes are shooting daggers but they say the mushiest things. They freak me out. There is something disturbing going on. You either smile like you mean it, or you’re like me- with sad/bitchy resting face. What am I supposed to understand when your face is half and half? That’s similar with people who preach one thing and feel another.
Very interesting. Thank you!
No problem, Elsa!
Agreed. A smile is in the eyes to start.
Exactly!
That’s called mars in the 12th house. Or generally a weak mars placement. It takes a while to find out that you’re spewing anger every which way. You don’t know you’re angry. Usually people are passive aggressive and shoot their energy every way except forward because they’re afraid of what they’ll lose if they’ll get really angry or afraid of the repercussions. They were taught not to get angry. Or everything could come apart. They’re scared of retribution. I try not to behave like this to people who can kick me out of places.
It takes time to realize you’re projecting or not owning anger. Pete Holmes has mars and other placements in pisces.. he says he was never angry as a kid. It can take years as owning anything in the 12th house does.. you just refuse to face that shit. You really don’t think you’re like that. People who are open in their anger scare and piss you off and either you have no reaction or an over the top reaction.
I do not know how a Mars in Pisces person can access their energy and use their motivation or even find a sport they like. It’s the great mystery. My solar return chart has this placement and I’m less able to do things especially if I don’t feel like doing them even more than my own 12th house mars does. Also mars in Taurus must be a challenge to navigate. Tough mars placements are tough, that’s all there is to it. We can rhapsodize about their positive points but until we give people the keys to awaken their dormant aspects, they’ll keep circling the sink and eating their own tail.
Mars in the 7rh
I have Cap Mars in 12th and that doesn’t describe me At All, except one point — hard to do whatever I don’t feel like doing, like chores.
How would you describe it? Maybe you have a handle on it and I don’t.
You’re not sensitive to others dominating you?
For me, more like taking action to get what I want from behind the scenes, in hidden ways.
The only “others” who have dominated me were those I wanted to dominate me.
In childhood, I never suppressed anger. Only as an adult did I learn to bite my tongue when necessary to keep my income.
Well, clearly you use your mars better than me. What other aspects does it take?
My mars expression seems to be closer to what Satsun said
Aries Sun/Mercury in 3rd, Virgo Moon in 8th, Cap Rising…
Mars in pises athletes are for example Lebron James. He sees everything around him, and thats a pisces thing. To see through all the situations, all whats going on.
Do you have mars in Pisces? How do you activate your motivation?
I have a friend with this aspect who I watch sort of self loathingly avoid everything. Including sports.
I think you’re the one who wrote about the unconscious mars. The person might not notice they’re firing a cannon at someone. I know I hate to feel humiliated and dominated and like a runt by someone who is screaming and trying to make me submit. Or dominating me successfully. I usually stew until I get back at them in an indirect way. So it’s usually better to be up front. And say stop it now!
Yes, I did write about the unconscious Mars, quite a bit as I recall.
There’s that. There’s passive-aggressiveness.
I’m not sure if this is one or those, both of those, or neither.
There is another state of being I can think of… you know you don’t like someone but you don’t know why! 🙂
Yeah and I think you wrote about how someone like that, such as a Scorpio, grabs you by the balls. And you said it depends on how much you like being in your uncomfort zone.
I could be misunderstanding your question. But I’ll say what I know.
In my experience, it’s people who remind you of the negative part of yourself that trigger unconscious hatred. i.e. virulent homophobes turning out gay.
It’s also synastry in my experience. Difficult synastry makes me hate people.
I have Venus mars opposed and I can hate people instead of disliking them because they bring up childish feelings of powerlessness and being dominated. Feeling like I’m trapped and can never get what I want. I think people don’t like people cause they wanna control them. They can’t accept the way they are or leave them well enough alone (like that anecdote you told about your sister leaving a mall because of someone wearing white boots?)
If I spend a lot of time hating someone or a situation it’s cause I wanna control it and don’t like it and can’t walk away. I used to hate being fat and I hated everyone who was attracted to me for that. And I used to hate everyone who didn’t want me. I was bitter and distracted and couldn’t turn away from it.
A person who bugs you is like a dirty stain on your wallpaper you can’t wash off. What to do? How to control your reaction? Is it immature? I’d say so. I watch a lot of relatives fuming about their kids shitty decisions. It’s not your damn tattoo. So I’d chalk it up to people who can’t control themselves controling others, as you taught me in your past posts.
For instance, I don’t like people who let their dog come real close and bark at me, but jerk it away when I try to pet it. But when you point a finger three more point at you? Yeah I’ve been selfish with the big things.
Also you wrote about scapegoating. It could fall under that possibly. And if it’s toward you, how people like to misread you and come at you.
This is just my stuff I remember/observation. I could be misunderstanding.
I often feel unreasonable strong anger at people and don’t notice myself picking at them. I also get aggressive with strangers about little things (staring, hogging the sidewalk)
I chalk it up to my Venus Mars opposition
Anyone who feels weak can be ‘scrappy’ or full of jizz or whatever. Ready to prove themselves. Mars in the 12th and feeling runty are similar feelings.
I think narcissists probably come at people really aggressively when they threaten their narcissistic supply. I had a friend with mars midheaven Pluto in scorpio and first house stellium I believe.. I said something mildly negative to her that hurt her ego (it was actually a listening noise that she mistook for agreement with her saying she needed to go to the gym) and she came at me with all she has.. very serious insults, and never saw the need to apologize. Right then I realized she is a mess.
“Also you wrote about scapegoating. It could fall under that possibly. And if it’s toward you, how people like to misread you and come at you.”
~~~
That is an interesting comment. I just had someone close to me, apologize for “coming at me”. Its’s not a phrase I use of hear… maybe it’s becoming popular?
I suppose this could fit if a person is such that every once in awhile, someone has to go down. I’ve written about that before too. Elvis Costello sings, “…It’s nobodies fault, but we need somebody to burn…”
I am a spectacular target in that regard. So exposed here, for nearly 20 years. An astrologer you can mock for one thing, but also how hard would it be to cull someone’s decades of writing… personal stuff, to find a problem?
But that’s another issue, I think. Are any of us really “above” hate?
I think my grandfather was.
There’s a priest I admire… he’s a lot like, Henry, but I am pretty sure he feels rage at times. You just get pissed off. And if you stew in it then… kaBAM!
Coming at me is probably popular because of the ‘come at me bro’ meme
So many memes, so little time.
I must be tuned to a different movie. 🙂
I started listening to the priest, Father Mike Schmitz.. I’ve been listening to a few of his podcasts.. he has a decent podcast voice.. he’s a very handsome man with a huge mouth (physically).. he had a stellium in Sagittarius and Venus at 0 Capricorn.. he always starts with a really understanding tone and then comes out with a conservative stance (i.e. that Catholics who marry should definitely have children, you can’t have an outdoor wedding, curiosity is a sin, ‘hell is full of the talented’..)
He used to be an actor before he felt the call to priesthood. I bet he has a few impure things in his past. I think everyone would agree he’s very handsome.
where does gut intuition stand…true gut…the one one that when opposed makes one nausea….gut truth that circulates in the blood
*** in what house
*** with what transits is it formed
*** under what planetary pressure
*** what makes one more in-tune with absolute truth in their
inner
world
*** how does one decipher within all odds against them
Welcome, hazel.
Hazel, I don’t know… Really don’t. Those are thought provoking questions. Thanks!
Are my gut reactions keyed to my 8th house Sun? Or to my chart ruler, Venus, which aspects so many planets in my chart – Moon, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Neptune & Pluto…? Both, each aspect several asteroids.
What I do know is, when my gut (gut intuition) sends me a message, I do well to listen attentively.
Have to say again, thank you so much for such excellent, thought provoking questions! 🙂
Interesting Poppy!
My sun is in the 8th house in Cancer. I am a fierce proponent of truth. I feel that truth has an electrical connection with the heart. The spark of truth or intuitive doubt hits the electromagnetic field of the heart instantly and ((boom)) starts to circulate within. Funny I call the Vagus Nerve the Nerve of Truth…maybe that’s how it circulates within 🙂 Then comes the mind (prefrontal cortex)…Is it open, closed or is it selective based on subjectivity to the information being received.
Targeted anger. Hmmm. Everyone needs a whipping post? Not sure. I think that is why the dammit doll was invented. Why those places were created where people can just go and throw plates against the wall and smash them. Or go into the restaurant freezer and scream at the top of their lungs. I don’t know about my retro mars in pisces, anger seems to paralyze me. And true, anger can be triggered by a certain behaviour pattern. It tells me what’s important to me in that the thing has been breached. So does anger cause hate, or does hate cause anger. Both really extreme things.
Cancer moons break the pattern because it doesn’t feel good. We like to feel good. Couldn’t believe it when another cancer moon told me that. I get it.
“Or go into the restaurant freezer and scream at the top of their lungs.”
LOL – I used to do this! And then after I finished screaming, I would eat a frozen chocolate chip cookie. 🙂
With Venus in cancer, I’ve stayed in situations because I didn’t think they could get better. Had a terrible roommate, annoying jobs. Most of the big decisions I made were moving house.
Do you have any advice about how someone with mars in Pisces can access their drive to achieve something they want? How do you do it? Any sports they might enjoy?
My friend and I have been struggling in tandem for years.
I do think because Neptune is rather rather uhhhh uhhhh rather whatever that is that neptune is, there is only energy to do what is important to you. Mars in pisces. If I need to do it, I will have the energy to accomplish that. The need, for me most likely could be explained by Mars 4th house placement in the moon’s house? And if there is something I need to do and I can’t seem to get there, I let it go until I get down to the energy to do it (moon in 8th house). Stressing about it or pushing myself to do something does not work. I have to get down to it. Now on the opposite end of the spectrum my sun and jupiter are in the 10th so when I take on a 10th house responsibility I will follow thru because a promise is a promise, a deal is a deal. The energy comes from the commitment I made. Right now someone is trying to change the deal we made, so I have to remind them, that was not the deal.
So that’s me. And when someone pushes me to do something that is not in my wheelhouse, talk me into something, like a responsibility I am not willing to throw myself into, good luck, because I just can’t get down to that.
That is a really good insight for my Neptune transit.
My friend has Sun/Saturn and tends to grind down into a paste with criticism if the thing doesn’t get done. Half of the personality wants to do it, but Mars in Pisces just can’t find the energy.
I wanted to add to this that when my energy level is down it is usually because I am de-hydrated. Need fluid fill up. Not coffee, not carbonated beverages, not alcoholic beverages. Herbal teas or fruit infused water or just plain water. As a practice I strive to keep a 2 quart jar of fruit infused water and a 2 quart jar of herbal tea in the fridge. I mix them together and make sure I drink at least 2 quarts a day. I tend to drink more through a straw so I have my big stainless steel container and a reusable stainless steel straw. I need to like my container. It makes the experience enjoyable. Unlike my alcoholic lunch partner who would rather just drink a water tumbler full of wine, I like my wine with dinner in a wine glass. It’s part of the experience.
And the other thing, I have now defined, for the moment anyway, as the need to ‘commune’ with what I am doing. Leaping out of myself to do things is just exhausting. I need to take me with me.
I’ve talked to my friend about drinking water but he also sleeps very badly because of depression and insomnia. When his environment is kind of crappy he gets affected, like living in a poorly ventilated place next to a busy street. Or when there’s a lot of traffic and loud music when he commutes somewhere. Also when there isn’t a lot of physical touch and too much loneliness (not enough friends or love) and little confidence in his life which has kind of been something to deal with for many years (sun/Saturn in the 5th). There’s a lot of environmental factors that bring him down when he already has challenges. But as to sports he might enjoy, it’s an unsolvable mystery to me. Mars in pisces is in the 8th house. It does conjunct Jupiter.
‘anger can be triggered by a certain behaviour pattern. It tells me what’s important to me in that the thing has been breached.’
That is a very deep insight. Sometimes I get angry when someone has crossed a line. But a lot of times, it’s something I can’t control. As in, it’s a normal thing I have to do. I got angry recently when someone assigned me a job I find very difficult out of the blue and I wasn’t prepared.
There are many times when I get angry when I have to do something I don’t want to do. I don’t have the right to be angry in these situations. I typically get angry at people I can’t get angry at, people I can hurt with my anger. Authority figures, bosses, relatives, spiritual figures. People who have done nothing to me. Maybe forced me to fall in line or be a certain way by their presence. It’s a weird pathological anger I have (Mars in 12th). One easy way to make me angry is to guilt trip me into being somewhere. I felt a sense of OCD anger in an ashram once.
Lol! Lately the most back stabby, disingenuous quick to flare people I know are the same ones riding the love and kindness twinkle train loudly on social media. We often roll our eyes at this at work. The fake kindness veneer seems to be the new trend?
The kindest people I know, who wouldn’t be able to muster hate for anything and are quietly genuine in heart and soul, but would never say so, are somehow now lumped in with all these kindness posers. Somehow, that bothers me.
I miss my kinder, younger self who was more naive i suppose. Sometimes lately I have felt hateful. Exactly this. Pinched. and bitter. IN this moment, no. I am joyfully listening to Bayo Akomolafe; the times are urgent, let us slow down.
The anger is beyond the conflict between two opposing forces. There is something beyond the hero’s win. The younger self could avoid the hero needing to win, success frame. Then I could no longer avoid the race and the game. It perturbed me. Expansion of the present moves all of this into something else entirely. “things are already living in your cult of innocence” BA
Happily living with Neptune in the 9th before it hits the MC and another universe unfolds.
I think it’s a lack of boundaries and putting up with things that are flat out wrong (to them), too much. Throw in some jealousy and insecurity, all fronted by a facade…this could happen. Bruised ego. (I may have too many ideas)
Personally, I don’t think hate in general is necessarily a bad thing, but that’s a whole other topic of conversation!
Yes, it exists, the hate thing. The problem I see with it, is when there is vindication. Then a person’s hate becomes somebody else’s problem. I know scorpio usually gets pinned with revenge and all that but I have always had scorpio suns in my life and I see no vengefulness in them. Exculding one, but he was an alcoholic, so I think he was about something else, or maybe never got to find out what he is about because of the disease.
“…You might say you have no hate in your heart. You may feel the people around you do?”
Elsa, this is an excellent question!
For all of us, to ponder.
I’ve, inevitably, wondered myself about all sides of this, because I was born with natal Mars – in Cancer – squaring my Ascendant (Libra).
Something I’ve learned thanks to the internet: ADHD people, i.e. everyone in my family, and many people I’ve known, have difficulty processing anger – the most difficult emotion.
Jumping (sorry!). Hatred is a different category, anger misplaced by an (Mercury function) illogic… imho.
I strive to rise above hatred, any kind – continually – toward anyone. And I pray… for all of us, always.
Poppy, you have reminded of what I have been hungering for after being thrown off course by the last couple months of hectic. My touch down is the state of love. However, did I forget that? So easily distracted by the demands and manic-ness of the ADHD goings on in the world around me. I accept that. It is. I am scratching escapism and getting back in touch, getting back to that all encompassing love. It’s a decision. Thanks merc rx in libra. I have a choice here. Now that’s a Ceres’ place I can surface to. Coming in for a landing.
If mars is what one wants as Elsa has written, then when one doesn’t get what one wants or it doesn’t go to plan, mars can go ballistic? And anyone who represents what is not wanted or gets in the way of what is wanted would be a hate target, I’d think.
My mars is in pisces and I don’t want to be imprisoned or locked into institutions. Perhaps that is the jupiter opp to mars that is the freedom fighter? And I don’t like people or groups that try to do that, the entrappers. I don’t think I hate them. I don’t know that they make me angry, even though it is irritating. The thing is in those situations I am more interested in how to escape. That’s where my focus is. Because after all, I like to feel good. And being trapped does not feel good. Being hunted does not feel good. Oh so that makes sense, mars in pisces, I want to escape. If I could not escape and was subject to the torture of the captor, yeah I think I could come to hate them. This will be fun to explore, cognizant escape. I do it naturally, but naming it, being aware of it, I can play with it, develop it, sharpen my axe as they say.
Why would anyone say “I have no hate?” That’s BS, of course we do, hopefully for all things evil.
Anger festers if suppressed — then, bam! Be strategic, not stupid. It’s not worth your paycheck or a broken nose.
I think Kri & you have really good insights above.
I feel it’s a projected Mars or Pluto on some level. A 7th house mirrored effect. I’ve seen it in my mom sometimes when she can’t express her Pluto and someone has gone over her boundary but she doesn’t feel she has the power to say so. Though it hasn’t My dad (8th house Sun) and I sometimes carry the Pluto energy around for her.
I feel a bunch of people straight up say the hate now though… I’m pretty depressed about that GAH.
Venus-Mars-Neptune with Pluto in a difficult spot in Libra is my experience. I have had a tendency to date guys with unrealistic expectations to love, and when the illusion about me pops like a bubble, I had to burn because they have surpressed their anger and can’t face/own their anger at themselves….
If you want to love, hate.
If you want hate, love.
Note: I didn’t own my own anger and fear and feelings of powerlessness towards men either.
I had to own it to clear it. Even then. It’s not a guarantee.
This is super powerful. Thanks.
This really resonates. Someone I considered a friend did me and my family wrong. Really wrong. And I hated him – I really, passionately hated him, wanted all manner of things to befall him. I realised soon enough it was eating me up, this hate, so I let it go, I kind of surrendered it and him to karma, or whatever you want to call it. I still get twinges, but realise he has to live with himself every single day, and that pacifies me somewhat.
Scorpio mars, 9th house/10th house cusp.
“What is this? What sign(s) or aspects are prone to it?”
Speaking for myself, with Mars in Libra in 12th. I don’t like to be angry, feel that I’m not allowed to do this, so contain myself – until I don’t. Then the anger usually comes out all wrong, wrong expression, too much, too little & not “rational”, it’s more like emotions breking out. For me it’s difficult to be cold-blooded in anger. I pops up when I can’t control it, and I feel very bad afterwards, ashamed and stupid. However, big outbursts are pretty rare wih me, I bottle anger up (and get depressedd).
“It is a form of passive-aggressiveness?”
Speaking for myself again. I think it is, but not necessarily conscious. Like, it’s not done with intent, trying to appear nice when all you want is to bash someone’s face. For my part I fear repraisal, do not like to start fights. This keeps me passive, and very frustrated!
“How can a person break this pattern?”
Avoid people !!!! Or at least I try not to engage with people I think will get me riled up.
“Is this a love/hate thing?”
No too sure about that. It might be in some cases (when there’s a personal relationship involved), but plenty of people I absolutely don’t know piss me off just by being in my path. I just go on my way, seething, hoping they’ll walk in dog shit or get bumped by some heavy who’s in a bad mood.
I am jumping in without reading all the comments above, so forgive me. But my sister, who is a Sun, Mercury and Venus Taurus with Moon in Libra and one of the kindest person you could want in your life, also has Mars in Cancer in the 12th house. I can identify her triggers because she is 75 and I, as the little sister, am 68. She’s the oldest of my siblings and the family tale is, after my mother brought home three baby boys she was thrilled when I, a baby girl arrived. I say this so you know she and I have adored each other my entire life. But her weakness is opening her home to people in need, expecting them to be appreciative and then discovering they have in some way (and often only because of her expectations) screwed her. When she lashes out there is no response anyone can have to calm her down. My brothers and I fear she will have a stroke because of her violent reactions. She has threatened to take her life on several occasions. And once the anger passes, she is sorry, begs for forgiveness but tells me she can’t remember what she even said. Passive Agressiveness? You bet. Heartbreaking? Oh yes.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice,…”
Sounds like an unresolved spiritual or philosophical conflict.
Mars in Cancer, 12th house.
She sounds likes she’s completely blind to her Mars problem.
Also, 12th house/Pisces/Neptune will give and give, and then whine and play the victim when others don’t validate their efforts or worse yet, take advantage of them (in their opinion).
My late husband had Mars in Pisces (Mars/Neptune exchange). I lost count of how many times he cried and raged over how one caregiver after another let him down after he’d bent over backwards to help them. I wanted so bad to rip the rose-colored glasses off his eyes and tell him to wake TF up and see these people for who they are. Or tone down his expectations of other people. But nothing worked except hearing him out and letting him cry.
My 2nd comment got deleted but thinking it was mix-up, hoping I didn’t mess up somehow!! T__T
Anyway, I just remember that it’s a hard time right for our nation, our world. I think….Hate develops because we don’t feel like we have control over our lives, or anything about it, then we put a label on the “other” because we feel like it had to be just that person’s fault, when it’s more complicated, and may be more of groupthink thing. But then we scapegoat and are angry too because we feel powerless. It’s easier to jump to conclusions & find someone else to put in the shadow, when we can’t find a way to release this pent-up energy. We don’t know how to discuss & argue most days. Everyone has valid points but then suddenly it “goes there” because it’s easier to do so, and because it’s meme-flavored, because it’s too painful. It’s heartbreaking. That’s all. How do we be like, we’re angry without taking actions that hurt & destroy? Hate happens when we’ve already put the other person in a box.
I have a question, let’s say, we’re in a situation where we’re just brutally hurt. I mean like workplace gang-ups, deep family stabs at the heart, or feelings of being abused…. Is there a place for temporary anger/hate here? Maybe temporary feelings for specific people who took the action? This is where I start wondering. How we be the bigger person here, when the knife is in your back?
Do you think it’s these little pent-up pains that have added up to the bigger more destructive hate, because it (Mars / Pluto) got kind of messed up in the process, in our individual lives? I don’t know if you have answers, of course but maybe just trying to ask in general anyway
Something that I have noticed, it is like a psychic wave in the air and my Neptune on my Midheaven is saying this, so, it will look strange.
My theory lately: People who were known as nice and stable suddenly turn rabid and want to rip someone’s head off. I think it is a supernatural thing like a psychic wave that people just step into unknowingly and suddenly their tempers flare over everything. That energy emanates outward and hits everyone near it and kaboom, little things get people fighting.
Also, in this time frame, a lot of fear is in the air and it can lead to anger because people feel that they are out of control and they blame others for this.
Maybe people world wide should set a time to join together in prayer, etc to cleanse the rage and fear?
This could also be my Aquarius Rising talking too. Weirdo here.
This is a very interesting point. Some react to uncertainty with rage, those nice people were probably repressing their anger and letting people walk all over them to keep their friends (codependent people pleasing sometimes).
Some react to uncertainty with despair or pensiveness, some with libertinism (‘i would like to abuse my lungs, smoke everything in sight with every girl I’ve ever loved’), some by completely losing control of their emotions.
Neptune seems to accept lack of control. In a Neptune transit, some part of us is out of control. Interestingly, TM has some global groups that meditate together at the same time. It’s very nice.
Tell me about it with the Neptune transit. That watery planet is sitting opposite behind my Mars/Mercury conjunction and waiting to start heading to oppose my Sun/Pluto conjunction in a few more years. It made my mind so jumbled that I couldn’t hold a thought in my head for a while. That angers a Virgo, to not be able to focus clearly upon any given subject.
What is TM? I’m old. Lol.
Transcendental Meditation 😀
Thanks. 😀
Interesting how many 12th house Mars people have come out of the woodwork for this topic! I think the issue may begin with the desire to not be seen as hateful, because this sentiment could cause someone to repress their anger, or even other elements of their true self. I get that we don’t want hate to live in our hearts, but maybe we need to accept that it sometimes passes through? It’s ok to not like everybody – with the caveat that every time someone rubs us the wrong way, should be seen as an opportunity to look inside ourselves to understand the source of friction, and find compassion for people who may be acting like jerks because they are hurting.
I’d say it’s about fear of retribution or fear of losing social needs or social connection. Holding your tongue when someone can take their love from you. Like with a friend who can’t take any negative feedback, a boss who can fire you, you can’t be open with them. I think a lot of people hold in their anger because of what they can lose and people please for fear of losing friends. Or the other person is louder and meaner and can hurt you. Or depression, which is anger you feel you don’t deserve to have, Saturn guilt, or its irrational or aimed at the wrong people. Prosocial emotions control antisocial impulses. If you are raised in an unstable environment or lonely and lacking friends, you will people please..
Perhaps your anger is so intense it can burn everything down. So better turn it against yourself.
I think in some ways if my anger is immaturely expressed, I still have the unreasoning anger of a child who got punished or thwarted or um said no to.. not complicated by adult understanding, and I just push it down.. my anger is almost other worldly.. I don’t know about other people’s experiences with bratty childhood anger.. maybe I wasn’t given the tools to deal with it.. or how parents deal with their children’s anger
I’ve been a hatefulass B****; but it gets lonely and scary feeling that out of control. So you try to temper yourself, then some one crosses a line, and bam. I thought I was good?! Oh, no. Maybe a different way is needed.
I’ve Mars near Aldebaran that sextiles Aries AS & Leo Jp, and trines Saturn in Aq.
It’s only recently I decided to temper Mars. I think the nature of Mars to be intemperate, prone to extremes, and unevenness is at the root here. Accepting that tendency is something I’m tentively trying; as indulging, and repressing are not quite it.