My husband reminds me how little people care. These are people in ‘caring” professions! The first time he explained this to me it was jarring but I’ve come to learn how right he is.
“They’re just doing their job,” he said. “They don’t care one whit what happens…”
Initially he sounded jaded. But as I got deeper involved, the truth of what he said was undeniable. Comprehending this has opened doors.
It is one thing so say you care. It’s another to actually have the emotion. I’m not judging this. There are people working in various fields who see so much crap, they’ve no choice but to shut down their feelings, in order to function. I strive to keep this mind when dealing with various systems because I actually do care and I always have.
I was a bartender from the time I was 15-23 years old. I cared about my customers so much so I became unable to do the job once I got old enough and sophisticated enough to see how destructive drinking was in their lives. When you want to tell your customers to go home, as soon as they walk in the door, it’s time to quit.
I care about my clients now and the people who read this blog. I care as a way of life and this is something I project.
I figure if I care, the other person must care. The fact is, often they don’t care at all. People care about things but they do not necessarily care about the things you care about or the things they say they care about. The next question is what do you do with the information?
I have Chiron in Pisces opposing Pluto . I think I own the Pluto and project my compassion on to humanity. I have survived via this mechanism. I have also been destroyed.
When you say you care about something, do you or is it just words or a function of being social?
The emotion part…so crucial. You can think altruistic thoughts but the emotions so vital to this caring business.
If I don’t care, I’m not there. What would be my motivation? Stupid cancer moon.
I realized a few days ago, theres a difference between being empathic or feeling strong empathy even to a point of identifying and…. being social.
So you can be very social and not super empathic! It is not the same! You don’t have to be amical to be empathic. Actually people can be very empatic and not social or amical. Right?!
So I guess you can be social and not very empathic.
In the dictionary it says: “psychological identification with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others”. So perhaps you can also have a spiritual or mental or soullevel identification ie. more intense.
Empathy and sociability is not the same.
Wondering how charisma fits in this.
My Chiron is in Virgo conjunct Mercury and opposite Saturn. I realized early on that I could never stop caring or detach my emotions enough to work in a field like that. On top of that my difficulty to express my emotions, would be greatly frustrating and having the moon in the 12th I’m easily drained.
Very interesting. I also have chiron/pisces opposite pluto/virgo.
So do Millions of others, its not particularly specific.
By golly, I’ve got this same placement.
I have this placement in 5 and12 Chiron in pieces. The childhood wound started very young , and grew. I new something was wrong but didn’t know what it was. Totally alienated by the family and torn . I loved my family but never felt I belong .a feeling of percicution unloved . School was the same , I found it hard to find my nishe . I had learning difficulties , which I didn’t understand , I now know it’s dyslexia .for myself it was about nurture , the lack of it.
And parental guidance .
My relationship I had with self , outside influences school . No support no one to turn to.
And yet I love them . School was a terrible experience in 70s britian . And the teachers
Weren’t bothered . My journey is a spiritual path , forgiveness education . Astrology is a wonderful tool , I have learned so much and still do . The past the history , it’s gone and now it’s time to break free and be me .
A humble man that listens and helps …
Opposite Pluto and Uranus in Virgo and conjunct Ceres in Pisces.Hope ceres nurtures the wounded healer as they’r both under fire
chiron/Pisces opposite pluto conj NN/Virgo
Drained of many feelings through witnessing and experiencing cyclic trauma since childhood. In age, ability to cry out of happiness and/or sadness when it comes to humans has become a challenge. Victim/Saviour/Healer cycles exhaustion. Drained after Chiron return and subsequent Chiron on Sun too. (like boom, boom, boom ….). Looking for an island paradise to retire to….
Chiron in Pisces is transiting into opposition to my natal Pluto in Libra, the aspect will start in mid-June. (Sound the scary movie suspense music.) This is about something very INTENSE involving PAIN – and if you’ve ever had to brace yourself for pain you KNOW is coming? You know the knots forming in your shoulders, up your neck. You know the clenching of your glutes, the clenching of your jaw, the holding of your breath. You know that you’ll have to cancel all your appointments, to focus all your energy on managing and coping with PAIN. This isn’t a surface pain. It’s a deep, burning one you will carry in your psyche long into the future. It might even be a recurring one, that returns again and again relentlessly.
I’m trying to prepare myself. Your article helps me get that head start to meditate and consider what I’ll be dealing with.
It’s a familiar theme I’m sure to all of us. But there was a time, when I was younger, when people expressed admiration for how I truly didn’t give a [expletive]. It wasn’t that I’m not emotional, empathetic, or any of those things. It’s just that I recognized that when my value is not being reciprocated in a relationship – the other person should not be receiving long-term loyalty and care from me.
Most often people give me their care, with an unspoken expectation of something from me – its not what they say they want in return – there is some underlying power they want to have over me in return for having given their care to me.
It’s like they desire to have authority to decide my value, how much income I should or should not be getting, and I should live up to that obligation – why? I was born free in reality! Because they “care.” Not because they have given me a roof over my head, or something I need in terms of my human need for affection like a nice long hug. No, they just “care” – an empty word which if I fall for it and allow myself to depend on them to come through for me if I am in need – they will not be there and are still withholding what I am entitled (yes I used the word) to from them.
In my experience, if someone says they “care” about me? I had better watch my wallet, my earthly goods, watch out for my income source, and be very suspicious. I had better question their authority and position. I have better know the law and figure out how it is enforced, and whether those enforcers are honest and not on the take with this particular person. I hate that it’s this way, but it is for me, perpetually.
I dislike having to gather my defenses in the expectation they are about to bully me for my lunch money, from a position where they can do it for a very long time. I have to think long-term in every relationship I have – with these contingencies in mind. I resisted this. I wanted people who CARE ABOUT ME, as human, as a person. But somehow those people don’t seem to occupy these particular positions in my life! Just a small kindness is amazing, a relief, a wonder of wonders!
These are people who are supposed to be contributing to me – people positioned in my life from my 8th House. Was I left an inheritance? I’m not likely getting what was willed to me. Was I due a return on my taxes? I have to fight some power/control figure who doesn’t want to give me what I am due. In the divorce, he gets the kids, the dog, the house, the truck, etc – and I get bullied as his family pulls strings to ensure I can’t earn a basic living. Oh, I’ve experienced even worse abuse than that, but suffice it to say – with Chiron in my 2nd House in Aries, and Pluto in my 8th House in Libra – I pay attention when Chiron transits Pluto from any aspect, from any sign!!
Libra is about the scales of what is just and right. But I have not been given what is just and right very much in my life. I have had to FIGHT for my very survival where many others around me (not all) simply receive that 8th House contribution without a constant, never-ending, stubborn, bully power-crazed-tyrant who wants to deny them on the other end. Everyone experiences such obstruction of justice once or twice in their lives, profoundly affecting them long-term. But some of us, with Pluto and Chiron positioned in the 2nd and 8th house – get dished up more than their fair share of serious deprivations.
I remember one woman who I went to for advice witnessing the abuse happening right there in front of her, and asking me, “Does it ever stop?” No. It hasn’t ever stopped. I’m conditioned to it. I can’t CARE too much about it not stopping, because it won’t. What I do have to care about is UTTERLY DEFEATING this dynamic’s destructive impact on my life. I’m committed to that end like nobody’s business. This is my 2nd House we’re talking about. My Sun is there.
I’ve been told terrible psychologically abusive things like – it’s my own self-esteem. That’s totally false. It isn’t my self-esteem and I am not the one controlling the abusive behavior of others. I don’t MAKE them behave the way they do. I reject that false notion, and if it’s crammed down my throat against my will, I will vomit it out on the dinner plate of the person who crammed it. Let them eat what they serve. That sounds extreme, but where Pluto is involved – extremity is involved.
It took astrology for me to understand that the extremism was NOT originating with me! It really and truly is that Other, who feels threatened and insecure because of my Aries Sun. Yes, I can stand still and be as unassuming and humble as can be – it doesn’t matter. I exist. And I cross paths with these particular people who can’t stand the JOY of my existence! It’s this JOY that is attracting better people, but even so – when it comes to forming 8th House relations or dealing with 8th House matters? I have this dynamic, no matter what I would prefer
It does seem this was a card I drew in life – that I’m supposed to just suffer and endure, and become stronger, every time some asshole discovers they are in a position where they can burn down my life – and chooses to do it, just to enjoy that sense of superiority and power trip. Sometimes, I look up at the sky and cry. I say, “I’m tired of being made stronger. Must I be pressured into a diamond? I don’t want to be hard-hearted person! I’m tired of fighting about it.”
How could I form relationships where I might share anything that might make me vulnerable to someone who will use their intimate knowledge of me to deprive me? I don’t cry out for a savior. No one answered when I did. I just found that deep inside of me – I truly have grit, a will to LIVE.
But that’s not good enough anymore. I refuse to just survive. No, I’m going to thrive. I don’t care if they don’t care. I care – about me. When I have pain, and they ignore it? Like those doctors all those years since I was a child ignoring my endometriosis, telling me I had mental issues, when I was bleeding internally the whole time? I have to BELIEVE: the scales of justice are NOT tipped in the favor of those who position themselves in charge of those dependent on them and abuse that position!! At some point – PLUTO is there and will turn that back on them.
And pain – the levels of pain I have endured – let’s just see how STRONG THEY are when they must endure it and who really cares about them. I’m not obligated to care, as I’m not in a position of authority that obligates me. I care about humanity, but I’m not obligated to care about abusive people. That is reserved for the people who they hurt!!
A caregiver is in a position of power over the person they are giving care to. There is a major gap in legal recourse for when someone has not been given the care they were supposed to receive from the caregiver managing things that affect that person’s basic ability to live – in so many cases, and in so many ways.
An executor of a will is in a position of power over the estate they are supposed to ensure is received by the people named in that will. Legal recourse costs more than anyone can afford, so a dishonest executor can continue to own power of those assets as long as they please in many, many cases. It takes a long time for any justice to be done, if ever.
Chiron opposite Pluto. It’s a doozy! You are not a victim! You are a spirit warrior spitting in the furnace of hell, quenching its fires.
“No man is fit to govern another without his consent.” – Abraham Lincoln
I don’t get it, are you saying the caring is inauthentic because Virgo is self serving? I can see that in people I know who have this.
I’m not sure if you are addressing me. I would say that it serves Virgo to serve others. 🙂
Their caring may be authentic or otherwise. I wouldn’t make a blanket statement on that.
Pluto in Virgo involves the whole of Gen X. And the Chiron Pluto opposition was in place for ages and not just in Pisces/Virgo.
Unless personal planets or points are involved its far too general to load so much on.
Very interesting. Thank you. Got this too. Chiron, Pisces, 8th H., tight conjunct Mercury and SN (+Pallas), and Pluto right on NN, 2nd H., then, of course. Increasingly realizing the degree of sensitivity I´m functioning at. My job for quite a few years now is taking care of elderly people. The organisation is far from perfect, and it often does hurt as you empathize with the people you are sat there to help, and you´re stuck in limits put by to little time and resources. But I´ve also come to understand that I can sometimes use this interacting, to alleviate people´s pain. Mainly by just being a human being speaking to and handling another human being. This work has been a perfect school (though often unwillingly so on my part…:)) in many, many ways and it´s probably not over for some time.
Very interesting. Thank you. Got this too. Chiron, Pisces, 8th H., tight conjunct Mercury and SN (+Pallas), and Pluto right on NN, 2nd H., then, of course. I´m increasingly realizing the degree of sensitivity I´m functioning at. My job for quite a few years now is taking care of elderly people. The organisation is far from perfect, and it often does hurt as you empathize with the people you are sat there to help, and you´re stuck in limits put by to little time and resources. But I´ve also come to understand that I can sometimes use this interacting, to alleviate people´s pain. Mainly by just being a human being speaking to and handling another human being. This work has been a perfect school (though often unwillingly so on my part…:)) in many, many ways and it´s probably not over for some time.
I just found this. I have the same Pisces Chiron- virgo Pluto aspect. It definitely refelcts in my job. It has to have some use and my need to help out in the darker aspects of life are errily accurate. I love dealing in large scale disasters but also work with cancer patients and their treatments.
I am enamored of this and others see that. Im glad I am not in a position to have to be “detached” from the emotional side of this business. But I am glad I can retreat into detachment if it all becomes too much if need be.
I see Elsa. I used to be like this. Really thinking that people are in those jobs because they care. Perhaps they do start out that way and then become numb as a defemse mechanism. Working in a nursing home for 5 years, I can understand that. Luckily Ive gotten better at spotting that lip-service insincerity in people who really dont mean it.
And I am brutal at calling out those people who do that kind of lip service if I know there are vulnerable trusting people involved.
I just want to thank Hildegarde’s Girl for all of their insight. You write beautifully!, I learned a lot from your posts.
But I am the opposite, but since it is a opposition it is easy for me to see how it plays out for me. Jupiter/6degrees conjunct Chiron/8 in Pisces in 7th(western) or 8th(vedic) house depending on the chart opposite pluto/10 in virgo (sun at 15/virgo and 1/uranus/virgo) leo rising at 20degrees. grand trine with 10 mars cancer 12 or 11 and neptune 11 scorpio ( venus 1 degree scorpio)
Happy delusion of people trying to take advantage of me because of childhood abandonment.
Seems like my largest challenge is people at my jobs taking an attitude well maybe a projection that I am some kind of threat to their job. when saturn6aquarius conunt south node8aquarius 6th house of chores/job. so I get to a new job and after the relief that some one has showed up to help I get attitude, like I am trying to take over, wtf you were just happy some one was here to take care of your mess now I get attitude? I dont know if they know how much I read into their every nuance. I see everything and I feel everything even when I am not looking every raised eyebrow, every move of their body tells me everything I need to know. every sigh or miss phrased comment the way they deliver their words. no one can escape it. and if I decide to, I change on the dime and if I decide to stick to it that’s it i’m out!(in a comment above I read that I can tell lip service, certainly)
so I am at the job getting all kinds of projection (I am such a clear mirror for some reason). and now a days I just take it because I know that some thing will come up and once they so my overwhelming compassion everything will be ok. sometimes it takes about 3 to 4 months of me taking their crap until it happens then I am good. everyone then again appreciates that I am cleaning up their mess real good.
the most predominate challenges are pluto opposite chiron jup and mars square mercury. so while they are sitting on me I have to keep my mouth shut. at my last job I did not keep my mouth shut and I was out they decided I had to go and squeezed me out.. it was good something better came along. other than that is it all trines so I am super lazy what I could do if my ambition was geater!
I had to scroll the old comments to see if I’d responded here and I guess not.
But this placement is exactly what I have, although it’s probably a great amount of people considering the Pluto In Virgo and Chiron in Pisces generation. I’m a first house Pluto 16 Virgo and 7th house Chiron 15 Pisces.
You get those epiphanies where you can’t unsee things and are torn between letting others have their own autonomy and stepping in to help because if they get hurt or worse, you’ll feel responsible.