Chemistry In Relationships

There is a gal in my husband’s arena, he can’t stand her. I’ve heard of another person who doesn’t like the woman either but this is not a piling on.

“I hate that woman,” he said. “I can’t stand to be around her.”


“I don’t know, P. I’ve not been able to isolate the cause.  Right now it’s just a chemistry thing, I don’t like her the least little bit.”

“What does she do that irritates you? Did she say something?”

“Nothing in particular. It’s nothing particular, I just don’t like her.”

“Well, ______ doesn’t like her either. Does he know why? Maybe it’s the same reason,” I said.

“_____, doesn’t like her because he thinks she’s an idiot. I don’t know if she’s an idiot and I don’t dislike people for being idiots anyway. What do I care if you’re stupid? I don’t know what it is, P. It’s chemistry for now. Maybe she reminds me of someone.”


“I don’t know. All I know is she makes my skin crawl and I have to remember to watch myself around her because I don’t like her, the least little bit and if I ever get into it with her, I am going to steamroll her ass.”

I wish I had this gal’s chart to see what was there but that aside, have you ever had a reaction like this?  What was the basis of it?

22 thoughts on “Chemistry In Relationships”

  1. YES I have had this reaction. I call it chemistry too. Sometimes it’s someone’s teeth, their haircut, the way they fold their hands. Sometimes it’s how condescending they are (even notice the condescending ones usually condescend to people who are smarter than they?) People who try to control me or tell me what’s what… But even more than that, there is some kind of physical cue or sign that just… bugs me and I would steamroll if they tested me.
    It works conversely too. I may be attracted to someone because of their teeth or hair, the way they fold their hands, the way they don’t try to control me, etc.

  2. Yes! Ha ha. I was afraid of this woman as a child even though she had never ever done anything to me. I didn’t see her for years and had forgot she existed.

    Then I was working at my first job and she walked in and had me cornered in the office and I almost freaked out! Still no logic to any of it. She was very much like the actress Zelda Rubinstein. Zelda doesn’t freak me out though.

  3. I have reacted to people like this. A couple times I’ve given people the benefit of the doubt because my husband became friends with them. With two of them I proved correct. Only one turned to be okay but he actually changed alot from when we first met him.

  4. I have and the first thing I try to do is discern if it is the creep vibe or do I see something that I don’t like, that is really a part of myself that I don’t like within myself. So yanno, is it the creep vibe or the shadow thingy?

  5. Right off the bat, I smell a rat. Chemically and otherwise, the warnings flash: “Danger. Do not trust.” Sometimes it takes months or even years to register as intellectual knowing. “Ohhhh. That’s why I never trusted them from the start.”

  6. Yes !
    In high school there was a gurl in class with me
    Never got into a fight or never she did anything that pissd me
    Nothing at all , but for as long I remmber I never liked her !
    N I have always thought I don’t like her I dunno why I just don’t

    When we went to university two of my gurl frnds who knew her from diffrent places disliked her as well !
    I said yes I feel the same but why ? Thy just don’t knw :s
    N finally my boyfriend who really hates her n says she is a pain in the ass
    He can’t stand her at allll !
    I can’t tell why really
    I wish I has her chart as well !

  7. Yes! I’ve analyzed the hell out of it too, keeping my own dark side in check…nothing. Just a chemistry thing I guess. When I analyzed her chart I could kinda tell why, I think. Eh

  8. It happens to me too but I can usually figure out what my problem is pretty quickly. My husband has had a couple months to evaluate so it’s pretty strange situation to me.

  9. Yes, I get this kind of visceral reaction to quite a few people. I just hate to be around them… hard to explain why, they just repel me. I’m not often wrong either – I mean something usually happens to show I was picking up something very negative which later shows up in action and attitude

    And I know some people react to me like that too!

  10. I think “bad chemistry” can be caused by hard aspects to one’s first house. Pluto could be an issue too. A former colleague had her sun and mars in my seventh house in exact opposition to my ascendant–she was sweet as pie to my face but not so nice behind my back. I suspected she was behind a number of shenanigans (problems with my computer, missing files, rumours) but I have no proof, just a very strong feeling. A former sister-in-law had her Saturn and Pluto in Virgo sitting right on my Mars/Pluto conjunction in Virgo in 12th house. She took an instant dislike to me, and I to her. For two years I had to endure her at family events. It was torture. She and my brother divorced a while back and since they didn’t have kids I will never have to see her again. I pick up “creepy vibes” from one of my husband’s work friends but I don’t know his astro data.

  11. I definitely get a ‘vibe’ from certain people. I call it the ‘hinky’ vibe. I really don’t feel the need to explain the ‘why’, just ‘knowing’ it’s better to keep my distance, is good enough for me.

    My husband and I have developed a silent form of communicating this, he’s always at the ready to ‘fend’ off those that I get the ‘vibe’ off of.

  12. Avatar

    Anna, very interesting point, that 7th house theory actually fits my sitch perfect. In fact, I believe their planets actually fall in 6-8. Makes sense, 6th and 8th house are not exactly 5th house type fun.

  13. I have reacted to people like that before (it happens rarely). They didnt do anything specific to me. It was just a feeling that I had when I was around them. I ended up ignoring their presence because it didnt felt right.

    I agree that its about chemistry. I wanted to know their birth chart.. just to compare it with mine. .! But I dont :/

  14. I can only remember a hate-at-first-sight when I was a kid. It was basically being overwhelmed by a feeling of repulsion and anger…

    I’ve never had that again, only its milder form: dislike-at-first-sight. But it was more because my gut was telling me: “Oh boy is that person going to be reaaaaalllly annoying”. I walk the other way when i get that and minimise contact.

  15. He’s just picking up her energy. As an empath I do it all the time. Some people make me physically sick. She obviously has some negative energies that people intuitively pick up on, and know to stay away from.

  16. Man I’m know what this is about. There is a person at my job that sucks the energy. I don’t think other people are aware of it but I’m a bit more sensitive to it. Its like all the attention has to go to that person. They have to forcefully interact with everyone trying to be their best freind as they suck up people’s energy. This person is a vampire. He’s a bit negative always complaining about his miserable life and he’s only twenty. Gosh when I see him I just go stand in the farthest corner and hope the vampires doens’t try to feed off of me.

  17. We had to interview a guy at work one time and well… if you remember the stapler guy in Office Space, it was that guy but a billion times worse. I don’t think he was a serial killer or anything, but he just sucked all the air out of the room and I could barely stand to look or speak to him. He could have done the job, but I didn’t want to breathe the same air as him!

  18. There has been a few times that I had an immediate bad vibe about a person. The person will just creep me out. Each time that person turend out to be a child molestor.

  19. I think it’s the opposite of love at first sight, you know? You see someone across the street, they grab your attention, you need to get to know them? I think the same thing exists, except instead of love, it’s revulsion. Who knows what causes it. Certainly, if someone subtly reminds you of someone that makes you sick, you’re going to (consciously or not) feel ill at ease in their presence. There’s been times where I was able to pinpoint the root, other times not. I think it’s definitely in the stars. In the former case (of love), I have realized after the fact that two people I inexplicably fell for for no discernible reason had the same sun and moon.

    Then again, I think when we’ve reached a certain age or maturity, when we’ve interfaced with so many different people, we begin to pick up on cues. I say this regarding the psychos – the emotional vampires, the predators that you guys mention. Sometimes it’s in the eyes or their vocal cadence… In these cases, best to trust oneself!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top