It occurred to me this morning that just because someone is contemptuous towards me it does not mean I am contemptible. They may just be a contemptuous person and as a matter of fact, this is probably the case.
I post this primarily for others with lives like mine but also for people to consider. You think you hate me because everyone hates me but really, you just hate.
What if its not me who is contemptible? What if it is you?
Have you ever seen a hateful person play innocent and/or actually believe themselves innocent as they spew and defame another?
Yes, and when I ‘ve called them out on it the stock answer is ALWAYS ‘I’m not being nasty, I’m just saying.’
So?
It begs the question, does your average witch know that they’re a witch?
::laughs::
I really think if you drip with contempt it is because YOU drip with with contempt and the other person is a bystander.
How many nice / happy people do you know who drip with contempt?
Yes, this totally happens to me, the most recent being somebody accusing me of being dishonest when *they* are really the one who is dishonest.
It’s like those job interview personality tests, where they say, “Most people are honest,” and you’re supposed to mark it down true or false; what they’ve found and what they are testing for is that the people who are generally honest will say, “Most people are honest,” because they ascribe their own characteristics to others, while the ones who say, “Most people are DISHONEST,” are usually the people who are dishonest themselves! So when people accuse you of certain faults it is *Many times* the case that they have those faults within themselves in abundance, and think everybody else operates like they do!
This used to happen to me and it would just confuse me to no end. I’d always blame myself for being such a mean person, when it was not me at all. Glad I can see it now and know it’s not me, keep my balance and move on.
Angie
Yes and it used to upset me no end. Now I recognise it and it reminds me of ‘gaslighting’ and I’ve had plenty of that in my life as I have been easily confused and ‘taken in’ by people.
I can see through it now. Better late than never, I suppose!
When my husband and I were dating, one thing that spoke volumes about his character is that he never held contempt for people.
Very timely post for me, as I found out last night that there’s some gossip/lies going around about me among people I care about, including my own (grown) children. One of them approached me last night to tell me about it and ask if it was true.(it isn’t) I was shocked and really hurt, but also grateful that she cared enough to ask.
I also realized that some people love to be negative. It hurts when it’s people I care about and they’re feeding their negativity at my expense, but there isn’t anything I can do to help them if they don’t ask me if what they’re hearing is true. Even if they did ask me, certain of them would not believe me because they’re SO committed to tearing others down. I see one young man in particular, taking up where his father left off with being a major “pot stirrer” aka shit disturber.
Just gotta learn who to associate with and who to avoid.
I see it a lot.
One of my Saturn in Libra lessons appears to be, “stop taking in other people’s contemptuous attitudes or you’ll end up spewing hate yourself.”
Stellium – is your picture a taurus with a leo asc? I’m saying because of the “hair” on that bull 😉
In any sense, I think it’s awfully cute.
Don’t have much to say except that I have this natally and the struggle there is the contempt for myself. It’s very bad.
Yes, and honestly I find the level of delusion + hate frightening.
This post is great! Thanks Elsa!
Thanks for that, Kash. It does not scare me but I do wonder sometimes if people are as transparent to others as they are to me. Or are people buyin’ it? Are they? I never know.
Then tweet it for me or somethin’, would ya?
Oh yeah! I’ve seen this. I had a run-in with a Libra last year who was just like this. Terribly hateful, mean-spirited and accusatory. But it was SO plain (at least to me), that every hateful thing she spewed onto others was something she did herself. She might as well have been hating on herself in a mirror
yup I’ve seen it. I’d rather not waste my energy on contempt myself and when its been focused on me its been clearly projection – still hurtful but when you realise what it is, its easier.
it’s them. and they’re usually dreadfully unhappy. i tend to avoid them. and pity them. (hard to empathize. and pity is such an unpleasant thing…)
still working on a better defense than avoidance, though. but most days i can’t spare the energy to deal with that kind of interaction.
ps i have the venus/pluto opposition. i have dealt with a LOT of these people over the years. they seem to find me an appealing target.
one of the nice things about pluto is that it can teach you how to break free… in this case, of the need to be loved by everybody.
Don’t you guys think there are certain folk with certain energies, that if not harnessed properly…it’s just, bad? I have a neighbor who keep trying to project, but oh well, I guess she can brush up on her performance for the Academy Award. I just walk on by thinkig to myself “wow, that’s a boat laod of expending useless energy!”
Some people can’t UNCROSS their wires…
@D – not sure, but the Libra I knew who was doing this had Venus tightly conjunct Pluto. Seems like Venus/Pluto is a dangerous energy that can go south far too easily.
Can Pluto make Venus a hater instead of a healing lover?
Eh, nothing wrong with most witches.
What I hate is when people retaliate against d-bags, and then the d-bags act all innocent and hurt.
Too bad, so sad. Whining doesn’t make anyone appear like less of a d-bag.
I see people, transparent, and try keep quiet because I don’t like to stir the beast….ie. their beast. It’s like stepping in dog poo…I try to avoid at all costs, LOL
Someone who tweets, tweet Elsa!
I never think hateful people are hating because of me. I have my flaws, but I don’t deserve to be hated or held in contempt. I think it’s a pretty extreme reaction to have to people so there is no way it is about the other person. And yes, I stay far, far away from people like this because you can’t win, it’s not about you.
I have to say, I have Neptune conj. Mars. So *shrugs* I probably wouldn’t notice!
Happens to me all the time. Just glad I’ve finally realized that it’s more about them, then it is about me. Yes, I have sun/pluto conjunct energy, and it’s easy to project all sorts of abuse of power things onto me, but I also have Saturn squaring the two, and trust me, he keeps me in check.
I’m such a newbie here, but I’m learning. I am Ven conj Pluto and do have these types come at me. It’s getting easier as time passes and for the most part now, as with the neighbor, I look straight in her eyes and just see the pain she has. I do get worried though that she may suck my soul right of me, so I look away. I shouldn’t fear, but it’s like the “poo” analogy above….just avoid it!!!
Sure, and if I’m partnered with someone who shows contempt for others I just think “What a contempuous person”, and walk away.
@mudlikesubstance – haha thanks. Aqua rising…. still fits, doncha think?
Great post, Elsa! Poignant comments.
People just love to put the proverbial “poop” on the scapegoat!! But, if I can contempt like that, I can also be quite contemptible, right?!! =O
I’m personally trying to stop this disgusting behavior within myself, especially in regards to roommates! ….The hardest time for doing the right thing is when you THINK they despise you. It’s hard to resisting putting up a defense (or offense?!) for yourself when you’re convinced they’re spewing things about you. Sigh.
Again, I may be wrong about that too and cause unnecessary damage. Hold your tongue without leaving them holding the whole bag! You’ve got enough shit to carry =P
Yeah, I’ve had to stop and think whether I was the masquerading “innocent” as well. Scorp Sun-Pluto. Scorp Merc-Saturn on Descendant.
Well Elsa i have met so many contemptuous individuals, the list is so long.These people i guess are something else, and now if at all i come across any such person i prefer to just walk away. Thanks for passing a nice post on Venus opposite Pluto….!!
This makes me want to dig out my “f*** u and your shadow speech.”
It may need to be dusted off and brought back out for my personal use anyway.
Best retalliation? Know who you are. That’s your fire extinguisher right there. When you KNOW you are not that, the sting is less and you are able to see that the ugly is in the other person and you are a great big movie screen for their projector. Yes, this comes to me in waves. I’m done defending myself over it.
I have Moon/Venus in Leo in 10th sq Pluto and this happens all the time…and my libra thought something was wrong with me
Mostly I get this from Moon in Scorpio, Moon,Venus/Pluto, Sun opp Pluto and Mars opp/sq Saturn people. SO MUCH HATE was in them, but still, it was all others fault
Welcome,Tajga.