Cutting Your Losses Is A Learned Skill

Mars is the planet the rules all cutting. The concept of cutting your losses is a learned skill rather than something you can reliably leave to human nature. I learned to cut my losses by playing cards as a kid. There are times you’ve got to fold your hand and absorb whatever losses result. You have to train to do this  because humans by their nature seem set up to throw good money after bad.

This applies to all situations. Many people won’t leave the casino, be it a stock they are invested in, a relationship, a war they’re waging or an actual casino, even when their losses are staggering.

Evidence of this is all around, from the woman who stays with a man who beats her until he beats her to death to the person or corporation who spends and spends and spends, time and money, trying to win a lawsuit that eventually nets them something insignificant or nothing at all.

In all these cases, there would have been indications that it would be best to quit. But you’re invested, headed in a certain direction, most have a difficult time turning back or changing course. The results are often devastating.

You can see what an important skill this is. Now is a good time to pick this up.

Learn to weigh things, realistically. If you check yourself and find you are barking up the wrong tree, consider cutting your losses and finding a new tree. Because while your back is turned to focus on the wrong tree other opportunities are passing you by, you can be sure of that.

Related – short video: Step Away From the Corpse.

Do you cut your losses?

84 thoughts on “Cutting Your Losses Is A Learned Skill”

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    Once I realize things have gotten so bad that even if my worst fear materializes as a result of ending a situation, I still have to end it, that’s my change activation point.

  2. I LOVE this phrase that I learned here at elsaelsa. I carry it with me, but it’s still a work in progress, it’s still something that needs to be refined. I’m pretty terrible at cutting loses, actually – but there is hope!

    I’ve got something that might need to be cut but I still cant say for sure. I’m still holding on. I should probably take the loss, because the loss is actually quite good. I don’t know, I’ve still got some things to sort out.

    I had a flash of insight yesterday or maybe the day before and it was AWESOME.

    I’m obsessed with family, the idea of it, the reality of it… I just want a family! But I suck at it, I just got divorced. I’ve had a lot to learn. (Saturn and Moon in the 4th in Scorpio).

    I thought my family had to be a certain way to be successful …but my idea of what my family could be in the future just EXPANDED. I was given a vision… I’m just making sure that it’s not a delusion. Only time and patience will tell.

  3. I too think about cutting the losses. It is an uphill task. It will take time.
    Mars and Moon are the 2 planets which will harbinger change. One astrologer has told me that coming Feb 2017 will bring relief. This is due to Jupiter which will dominate my chart.
    I need to get some home truths across the society.

  4. I’m learning. Mars in Capricorn in the fifth does not dig accepting defeat in matters of the heart. But Mercury in Pisces in the seventh is clearly insane. “Gee. My splattered brain decorates his brick wall sooo well.”

    1. I don’t think that sounds insane at all, Misti. Maybe you’re summoning up those intense thoughts to process the pain the way a cat purrs to heal itself when it’s injured.

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          Mars in Cap is tough as hell, Misti. Survivors. They don’t make just make lemonade out of lemons, they make beverage companies.

  5. Such excellent timing. I am Fixed to a fault with Mars conjunct Saturn on the other hand and Pluto on the other to form a 7th/8th stellium. I don’t turn away from legacy (8th H) once and for all. All that squares a Scorpio stellium so the cutting of losses isn’t a clean break.

    But, last night the reality of how much the loss would cost me was huge. Near psychosis. I woke to find this post. Mars is direct in my 1st house asking “Who am I now?!” Can I be here and there(in my past) at the same time? Not physically, and that’s the learned skill thing, karma learned over lifetimes.

    This is helping, Elsa. Thanks for being there with the scissors/knife. Now, to take it on.

  6. brizo – I just had to write,because I just went through the same situation. I had knee replacement and that was the final straw. I sold my big, beautiful house. But, it wasn’t as hard as I thought that it would be. I bought a simple ranch that didn’t have all of the yardwork.
    As we age, circumstances change. I didn’t want to spend my time taking care of the house anymore. I had other things that I wanted to become involved in.

  7. I’m not good at it. I stay too long. Even my therapist says I need to promise myself to stop ENDURING so much shit in relationships and just get the F out…

    Well, moon in 8H Libra square Mars in Cap. A double whammy of hoping for the better/durability. My friend once said “Loyalty is great, just make sure you know why you are loyal to something or someone”.

    That’s what I’m thinking about these days….

  8. With Pluto in the 3rd and in square to Mercury in Cancer, I’m always analyzing potential losses and strategic risks. I overthink and I’m probably too quick to cut my losses when the pressure turns up. My Moon in Gemini can’t handle too much enduring stress, which I dislike. I wish I had more of my Leo ascendant’s stubbornness to dig in and fight over the long haul.

  9. I’m not good at it. For years I made effort for family member who in no way returned any level of kindness, but I believed in it. Then he didn’t even call once over a year when I got a tough diagnosis. I was just shocked; and, I felt stupid. I asked him about it, he called me a martyr, drama queen, and other really ugly stuff. I am still hurting a year on, but I have no doubts I had to let it go. Still trying to figure out the astrology; I have no Scorpio to mention, but Cap moon so I’d’ve thought it would’ve not send me so reeling. Picking up my strong Jupiter and moving on.

  10. Oh, sorry everyone. I was commenting here and there in response to your stories (as if you had just told them) and then realised they were written back in 2010. Just ignore me! But thanks Elsa; I am enjoying the topic.

  11. Thank you Elsa. Your timing is impeccable I must say.

    Mars is transiting through my 1st & coming up to my Asc this week & is at present squaring natal Mars/Pluto (Virgo). I have just begun some private contract work setting up books of account for a couple of a similar age to me (parents of my son’s friend! awkward – much?) They have had a business he started about 3 yrs ago & are now wanting to do it properly as it is growing. Initially, I was being asked to set things up with what felt like my hands tied behind my back. Uncomfortable to say the least. Questions asked about their numbering/naming conventions being used ignored or I suspect, deliberately misunderstood.

    The wife, while a nice person, is a bit of a control freak & he is quite demanding. Anyway, as I have been entering the July data, I can clearly see they are cooking the books by charging everyday living expenses as business expenses, couple nights at expensive diners as business meetings, etc. Today, it started to get to me. Cynically, I would liken them to what we call here in Australia as the entitled Liberal blue bloods; those who have this expectation that they are above being caught or the law. (FWIW, I vote neither Liberal nor Labor nor Greens – what we call a swinging voter as I want to know what the policies are first).

    Today, I started to look for other work & I’m seriously considering cutting myself away from this contract(in a nice polite manner) as soon as practicable. If I do not, then I can see the bookkeeper (me) being blamed for any or all wrong doing should they get audited (which is bound to happen with govts everywhere looking for money).

    This would not be the first time I have cut ties with a role once I discover immoral business practices. I last did it in 2003 with a research professor squandering govt grant monies on personal projects rather than what the grant was provided for.

    Interesting that Scorpio is my h12 ruled by both the traditional & modern rulers placed in h10. Says it all doesn’t it. Great subject matter.

  12. There’s one more option. The woman who stays with a man that beats her can decide to grow a a spine a bash the motherfuckers head in. No questions asked. Bury the motherfucker in the back yard where nobody can find him.

  13. Man oh man have I been in a process. I am thinking that mars is not the cutter. But there can be something(s) that deplete the martian energy to do. The energy I use to work and to play. I went through the election process witnessing the president elect. I could hardly believe the gift he was imparting. All of his tactics I had seen before in the abusers in my life. It was uncanny. When the vote was over, I felt really clear without quite knowing why. I happened out on this site and read the post election piece. A lot of comments. An overview I thought. What hit me was, the comments about not unfriending haters. Bingo. That was it. I was taught to tolerate abusers, to enable abusers. I came into the world to an existing motis operandis and that is what I learned from. And it never was quite right with me. It took arduous work for an extended period of time to get here. I liken it to the severe trauma I experienced, being in shock for a very very long time on adrenaline overload. 2 months down the road I said to myself wow I was really in shock. 4 months I said wow I was still in shock. And so it went at 6 months, a year, etc. A long time to dissipate. It not only affected me mentally, but physically, where I still struggle with returning to balance. This abuse issue has taken a lifetime. There is no use in defending myself, that was exhausting. There is no use in trying to reason. It just is. But I no longer have to enable the abusers. And I don’t have to fight them. You know how the game goes, the victim becomes the abuser becomes the victim becomes the abuser. I don’t think I was necessarily attracting abuse, but I was allowing it, enabling it in my life. Status does not justify abuse. The holy books do not justify abuse. Money does not justify abuse. And the I give to charity plaque on the wall doesn’t justify abuse. The abuse exists. We have free will and that is a choice. So the long and the short of it all for me personally, is that I like clean clear mars energy, the energy I use to do my work and my play. What was depleting my energy needed to be eliminated. Chiron is making its last pass over my natal mars in pisces. Woo hoo I made it.

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    I think I sometimes do this. I’m better now only because I have been to some dark places and never want to be back there—–ever. These stories up there attest to some dark places! Sometimes the product or outcome is not ideal and basically sucks because of the obstacles in my head and limited time, but then again it’s done, which is better than not done. I repeat: good / done is most times better than perfect. Leave it. Move on.

    Still, I realize I have to learn this better. So much to learn! In short, fuckeroni lol. But I’m willing to put the work in. I’m realizing that I don’t work as efficently as others, possibly due to some brain differences. But I work with love. So, I need to find other ways to contribute positively. Or better yet, once I do… find some place that appreciates me. I’m no robot and I’m never going to be one. If I want to create a place where I want children and people around me to feel at ease to grow, it is better to face my mistakes, fix them to the best of my ability, and then realize when it’s time to stop. Defend myself because I’m worthy of respect and love, while not damaging and insulting folks because they are also worthy of respect and love…. but don’t have the self-control to stop hurting others. (E.g. Bye trolls cool thx-deleted) 🙂 thanks Elsa and everyone for great perspectives.

  15. Yes have learned, amputate
    Beats the alternative
    No fix no cure just run and don’t look back
    Swim away like there is no land
    And breathe deep

  16. It took me 4 years and many failed attempts. But moments ago, I just walked way from THE Corpse. Again. I hope this is the FINAL time.

    BTW, it never ceases to amaze me how, every time something major happens in my life, I come here, and sure enough, there is either a pertinent blog post or a pertinent discussion happening in the Forum. It never fa

  17. I cut my losses recently.

    Was to start a business with a friend, but even though he, say for instance, talked shit about people who smoked cigars he still wanted to sell them for profit.
    That didn’t sit well with me. It stirred for months until the powers that be intervened and created a nice situation for me to leave honestly. Big fucking lesson I learned.

    He was my best friend and confidant. I was the godfather of his kid. Now we are done entirely. Sad, but it was needed. I changed, he didn’t.

  18. I learned to cut my losses at such a young age that I don’t remember not knowing when and how to do it. If anything I cut my losses to quickly some times. Mars in Sag conjunct sun, Mercury, Venus, and the ascendant.

  19. i’m learning. although i seem to be better at it than a number of people i know. i still catch myself and wonder why i stuck with the thing that was bleeding me for so long… (i blame mars square neptune.)
    it’s called sunk cost bias.

  20. Perfect timing, there’s a shelf in my brain and it just saves good stuff , for some bizarre reason it is song twinkle in Little glitter light on Lately😱
    Like some little woman with her favorite hummels ,all that horrible awful crap somehow seems to skip out of your brain
    No shelf???after 35 year marriage and teenage courtship. 42 years ,” look ma no hands“ Just 1 foot flushing that bowl.
    Like the Gong show,”Booingggg!!” trap door Psssh! Gone !
    Like the slap and crash of thunder!!Kkraaaaa!!
    When I finally packed hit shit up and moved it out !PKraaa!!!I had found three fillet knives in the side of the bed ???WTF ??He’d been putting holes in the walls so to watch me in different rooms 😵I lived with this monster????? Oh yeah amputate, nobody should live with a monster they should be alone in a cave. I am doing the yippee Skippy dance eight years ago damn I was strong thank God for strong women are used to think strong women were Obedient total BS , Thank you Elsa ,here goes this strong woman off to work laughing all the way, With thunderclouds above may everybody have a powerfully personal day

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