Neptune-ruled disillusionment is a strange phenomena. I notice that people tend to become disillusioned with others or with entities like “banks” or their government but they are rarely are they disillusioned with themselves.
I am not sure if my experience is universal or not. I have Neptune conjunct my midheaven (public). People on this blog become disillusioned by me as a matter of routine. I don’t know them and always feel it’s their own life their unhappy with.
What are your experiences with disillusionment?
I don’t think humans have an easy time admitting they’re wrong because the feeling of disillusionment with oneself is so jarring.
I’ve experienced it recently and it is very difficult to say the least – confusion, instability, lack of faith in my beliefs…it’s a loss of control of my abilities that affect the core of “who I am and where I belong” in the world.
I think I have been disillusioned with certain parts of my personality for a long time. I’m quite capable of seeing it, admitting it, telling other people about it. Perhaps Neptune on the IC gives me that ability.
I too have Neptune conjunct my MC, cusp 9/10th house, and it’s not until I read your explanation above that this may explain why I have a feeling I fall short of others peoples expectations. When they’re singing my praises I’m bewildered; is it me they’re talking about? as sure as eggs are eggs sometime later they are disillusioned and disappointed. I am regularly disillusioned by myself and at times it can be very tiring to bolster myself up. I am going through one such period right now.
((((Lulu))))
I only have a few loose-orb sextiles to Neptune, so I really feel for people with a conj! That’s got to be rough. (Having Nep sitting in my 7th House is no picnic, though. Maybe I’m underestimating it… )
I’ve had the veil drop over something I’ve been deluding myself about myself before, but I can’t really call it disillusionment because I’m always aware of my (possibly delusional) strengths, too. *smiles* It feels like a course correction, a re-evaluation, rather then full-force disillusion.
Such is the life of Leo sun trine Neptune. 😉
I agree that people are clearly raging at “something” because it’s too much for them to face the truth about something in their lives.
That’s when a shadow person/entity sets them off or becomes a convenient target. They ignore the disconnect or flawed thinking when it is pointed out them, getting very creative with smokescreen stuff (emotional outbursts/finger pointing) to avoid facing the reason for their true disillusionment.
Moon conj Neptune means I had to learn thru painful experience about emotional projections, both mine & others projecting theirs on me. Brutal at times . . .
Dang. What a perfect topic for me today. I just got my student evaluations back, and it was like geting a paper cut and then adding lemon and hot sauce and salt to the wound. Overall, their comments were attacking towards my teaching mannerism and methods. I wish I could say after all these years, their comments didn’t bother me, but they do. I thought I gave so much of myself, spend extra time with several students. And I noticed students made great progress in regards to their writing as a whole. Yet, there comments, many which were untrue, (which is exactly what infuriates me) showed their contempt for me. Contempt that I didn’t even know was there.Said things like, I lost their work. My f-ng car was stolen and their work was in the car! I explained this to the class. Geez!
@PixieDust, what great insight. So needed to hear it.
Oh, brother. I hadn’t realized that most people were not generally disillusioned with some aspect of themselves most of the time.
I’d just kind of assumed as part of the human condition: dissillusion->dissatisfaction->change/growth
My Jupiter/Neptune are conjunct. Both rulers/former ruler of pisces. In the eight house, no less. Trust issues galore. Trust someone who I *know* I’m giving the benefit of the doubt, and not trusting people when I really *do* trust them. I’ve always got my guard up. And it’s all in my head. (?)
Some people confuse me, but I think I’m the one confused. I think that’s how neptune works. I think it’s other people that are confused, but I think it’s me. I’m the one that’s confused. (?)
I’m disillusioned with myself, and others.
That need for space you posted about yesterday? I was freaking out over a man being here for the holidays, a previous troublemaker who had made out that I was delusional and a liar (and stupid for not wanting him around), after he’d made a pass at me, started a huge argument here and ended up in a motel – years ago, but he caused a lot more hurt and trouble a few years later.
I was trying to adjust for my sister, but she has been quietly and calmly mocking me for over a week now, and I wondered why I was putting myself through that, when she was acting that way towards me, and obviously not caring about making me severely uncomfortable. She was told this morning that he can’t come, and she woke me up, throwing books at my head, and then ASSAULTING ME. She wrestled the phone away from me, as I threatened to call the police, and kept yelling at me until my mother told her that she was going to drive me insane if she didn’t stop.
My sister also shoved me as I walked by her, and I almost ended up down the stairs. I no longer have a sister. She would rather murder me, than give me the space that I need, and take off the way she usually does at this time of year. I have nowhere else to go, without infringing on anyone else. my own sister assaulted me over a man.
My morals are just fine. It’s everyone else’s morals that bring drama into my life, and I am at the end of my rope. I called a hotline last night, and I truly do not want to be around anyone. I just want to disappear, and never speak to my sister again.
oh Angela, that’s just HORRIBLE! I’m so sorry! whether you’re religious or not, did you know that church ministers (of most major denominations) are trained in counseling? if you feel you need more support than a hotline, you could go to a church and get in-person support. I’m so sorry. (((Angela)))
Great post here.
Great subject – pushed a few buttons
@Angela – wow, had the exact same thing happen myself 23 years ago, with my sister.
You’ll come out the other side of this such a strong person, it won’t happen to you again, that is for sure.
Hey trublue, students whine. I’m one of them. Especially at the end of tough semester, when we are wired to the gills. Review is an art. Ya just can’t forget to mention the good stuff, too. I mean, is my input something to be seriously considered as having value or just a trash bin for my stress?
Oh Angela, that shoving thing, that’s physical aggression. That is not good. And goodness knows if you would have stepped aside seeing it coming, she might have gone down the stairs? Oh course, that probably would have been your fault too.
I’m not sure about this, but I really did feel that my brother’s attacks on me, were really about the fight he could not have with his mate. And we just can’t know each other right now or maybe ever.
Elsa, I don’t think I’d get disillusioned. You is who you is, but sometimes I gotta take a break, because I don’t wanna work so hard. It’s the thought provocation.
Don’t experience it often personally. Guess you could say I became or am disillusioned with most Orthodox religions.
I have a very mixed belief system that has evolved since I was probably 13 years old. Although I have been baptised and have very core beliefs. I find it very annoying for people to try to convert me to their beliefs just because they don’t understand I have a personal relationship with God. That they don’t understand. Personally I believe there is only one God and way to many religions.
I have in the past I have been disillusioned with spouses when this occurs I usually become single once again. I am currently on husband #3 we have been together 16 years and I rather doubt I will become disillusioned with this man as I have grown to love him more each day.
Over the past few years, I’ve become disillusioned with others, and now, myself. Sometimes I can’t stand the person I see in the mirror, or the one that lives in my skin.
Neptune conjunct ASC (3 degrees both Scorp) – I am apparently disillusioned with myself! lol!I am not sure about this but I know I am probably confused about myself at times but I like to deny it. 🙂 Happily disillusioned! As well as others – big time misunderstanding me. Neptune = disillusion and ASC = self (or personality) right? Either way I am big foggy woggy! :)(good then I leave them all wet!)
I also have Neptune conjunct my Moon (10 degrees) – The Moon is in my first (but in Sag and not Scorpio) so everyone sees my emotions and I am pretty straight forward with them so not sure if I have any negatives regarding this – mostly I consider it a positive aspect because it give me an insight into the finer aspects of things – things others don’t notice. I have a knack for photography and I think it is because of this aspect. I know there are some supposed “negatives” – like being too sensitive etc but I don’t necessariarly consider them negatives – I guess it depends on how one uses them too. I am liking many of the positives of this aspect – except I can sort of escape myself into music too much to often but it helps me get through. Healing aspect. 🙂
I’ve met some people who are disillusioned with themselves, but they don’t introduce themselves as such. Neptune in the first or the fifth, Pluto in the first–scorpio south nodes with stressful pluto angles–almost all of them are disillusioned with themselves.
I’ve been disillusioned with myself. But what am I gonna say? Hi I’m __________ and I used to be great, better. Actually that doesn’t sound so bad now..
I don’t get disillusioned very often. I am fully aware that dreaming is a survival tactic for me, and when reality hits I just take the hit and keep on going.
Neptune/Saturn/Mars in a Grand trine.
Some People will disillusioned with the read their Astrology or Horoscope. if they heard or read anything wrong from the Astrology or Horoscope news They people will Disappointed Themselves. They Belief and will wait It Must Happen Something,
disillusionment in vale/self. venus/neptune. comes and goes. i think maybe i expect too much. but i’d rather that than not enough.