Do Women Marry A Man Like Their Father?

Degas womanIt’s said that women end up marrying their dad while men marry their mother.  I think this is true to a large degree. It’s uncanny.

Sometimes a woman is conscious of what they’re doing. They may love their dad and look for someone with similar qualities.  A woman may be semi-conscious of what she is doing or not conscious at all.  And here’s the trippy part: even if a woman thinks they are marrying their “anti-dad”, provided they stay married long enough the similarities show themselves!

I’m satisfied this is true in families where the girl was raised by her father. But I wonder what happens to girls who were raised by a stepdad or had no dad at all.

Is the imprint on the baby, who would be tied to the bio-dad?
Or it this more tied to nurture?
Would  girl growing up raised by two different men, find herself a hybrid?

Here’s an old post regarding the physical similarities between dads and husbands…

Marry A Man Who Looks Like Your Father?

I wonder about the astrology.  Certain aspects or themes do run in families but my father and my husband’s chart have virtually nothing in common.

I’m thinking about this today after talking to a client whose father represented raw male energy (Aries) and decorum (Libra). She’s out there looking for this and she knows it.

What do you think? What have you seen and what’s true in your case?

27 thoughts on “Do Women Marry A Man Like Their Father?”

  1. I had a conflicted relationship with my mother and my ex was very similar to her. I think people unconsciously seek out partners looking to heal the wounds from those ambivalent parental issues

    1. I agree…same here Lara. My ex husband had very similar, yet unique to him traits of my mother and both areTigers in Chinese astrology. They have a similar look too.

      1. Adding to this, my dad was a Pisces and my ex husband has a Pisces Moon and is a painter and poet just like my dad too. My mom was an almost stellium Scorpio and he’s got Venus in Scorpio but they did not get a long. Too much ego or power struggles involved. But we had those too and still do.

  2. It’s known that more than 50% of behavior is genetic, and that step parents have little influence on behavioral patterns, so even if the biological parent is missing, that’s going to be the model….In my case, I bear no resemblance to my wife’s father, so she must have been rebelling…..

  3. Haha um, YES. And I tried not to, but whoops.

    Similarities are:
    Dad – Taurus Sun (6th house) hard aspect to Saturn
    Husband – Virgo Sun (10th house) hard aspect to Saturn
    Both have Sagittarius rising and Cancer Venus
    Both have charts heavy in fixed and mutable signs.
    Both have Mercury in ruling signs of Virgo and Gemini and in hard aspect to Saturn.
    I’m sure there’s more that I don’t see because I’m so-so at chart reading.

    They work in the same profession. There are definitely some differences and they look nothing alike whatsoever, but sometimes I tell my husband he’s acting like my dad, or saying something my dad would say.

    (As an aside, my father in law was a Virgo and is similar to them both…)

    1. The only similarity I can see between my mother in law and myself is our Suns are in water signs in easy aspect to Saturn.

  4. I did the first time.

    Then I finally got smart in my late 40’s.

    I have South Node conjunct my Capricorn Descendant. My “spouse”
    of 10 years knows me intimately and accepts me fully, warts and all. Something my father refused to do. I was rejected and abandoned by my father. When he did visit with me briefly, he humiliated me and made me feel less than zero.

    I will NEVER accept such treatment from a man again.

    I spent the first half of my life accepting all the abuse men dished out to me, because it was all I knew from my dad unfortunately. Never again.

  5. I married parts of my mother, parts of my father and many parts belonging to my husband (and also belonging to family patterns passed on to him by his parents/family.)

    I was conscious of it. When my parents are no longer around he’ll remind me of them!

  6. This is an amazing topic. I dated three men from college to early 20s and as it turned out, ALL had Virgo mothers (I am a Virgo) born on (1) the same day as me, (2) the next day, (2)the third day after (obv not the same year!). Yikes. I eventually married a man who over the years has shown many more similarities to my father (yikes, but it’s nothing negative) although they have no bold chart similarities I can find — ah except both are Cardinal signs. And yes, my husband’s mom is a… Virgo.

    1. that is very amazing, hmmm… my first husband’s mother was a leo sun, but she was heavy virgo weirdly…with virgo venus and virgo mercury. So it wasn’t with birthdate similarities but energies in chart. For example, 2nd guy i was with …his mother was a virgo, and sadly she was an abusive mother. the first mother in law type was not physically abusive but she complained and nagged alot due to bitterness. she was lucky and had found a 2nd husband who was good to her but she still was sore and bitter over the first husband who left her….who was strangely enough a sagittarius man with strong scorpio and virgo influence. ALthough she was a leo with virgo energy …the ex husband, my late father in law was heavy virgo with sagittarius sun and Aries moon. Her bitterness was so horrible that the children couldnt stand to be with her. but i think personally she was a good woman. Its just super sad.
      late father in law ended up with a super sweet woman who was always forgiving and kind. I guess in the end thats what he really wanted, someone who did not portray bitterness and always portrayed kindness no matter what life threw at her. It is a tough act to follow. i dont remember her birthday to be honest. but im guessing there’s virgo in her too lol

      my current mother in law is capricorn but she has virgo mars, and strong Aquarius/pisces in her. Its still super interesting about the virgo energy in there. And guess what? i also have virgo lol
      my mother in law has bitterness but i can tell she fights it and tries to bury herself in work like volunteering and doing many services, and she is loved by her family and people in her community and previoius work places. so she is kind and good always. i can see where bitterness can get to her, due to her failed marriage with the virgo/ virgo venus, scorpio mars and libra moon, and she isn’t the type to go out to find men. she just doesn’t care about that.

  7. Astrologically yes… both Leo’s. Born 1 day apart. I have sun conjunct dc. Dad and husband have mars conjunct Pluto prominent Uranus. I am aqua asc. Similar astrological signatures(Virgo/ libra heavy) but they do not look alike at all!

  8. I’d say no, my Scorpio Dad’s chart is very Pluto & Saturn based (we get along quite well/very naturally) while Mr. Leo/Libra’s chart is very Neptune/Venus based. Really the only similarity in their charts that I see would be they both have Mars in Leo.

  9. I didn’t marry my dad at all, but I’m a lot like my dad in temperament. I think my husband sorta married his mother, in a weird way. MIL is a Pisces and I’m a Virgo but I think we’re both more expressive and open with feelings than husband

  10. I totally married my mother with a smidge of my father. Uncanny stuff like falls asleep with TV remote in hand or hand a small vault for their vitamin collection. Lots of little stuff that they didn’t do till later. The parts like my father are more fun. I think we’re all looking for the family of origin familiarity. I think my deepest loves have all quite a bit in common.

  11. I think I ran from my Dad and his friends, he was the Marlboro man
    We( my sisters and I) we were looking for a cowboy.;but now I think
    Someone afraid of spiders could understand me

  12. My father is a Cancer. Embarrassing secret: every man I’ve ever dated with any degree of seriousness has had a Cancer Moon. Every. Single. One.

  13. Avatar

    I think I was imprinted on 2 male figures and have been trying to find a balance between the two: My brother, a playful, kind of smart-quirky Uranus-affected Scorpio with Leo moon. And my dad, a stubborn (kind of a mean-grump), traditionalist, plows through us, obsessed with informing us of dangers, gets his way, but keeps his promises, awkward but chatty, stays on routine (possibly has Aspergers) 8th house Taurus, Pisces moon type.

    You can see the conundrum. Like oil and water. But I see the personality similarities across the exes. All quirky. Boys with glasses. People who need time to open up. Introvert. Playful banter-y grumpy is cute to me, though I’ve learned that distrust grumpy is not (no no no no, go away).

    I don’t see a Astro-match with my exes though. But I see some pattern in that I date people with earth &/or fire in the sun and moon. I need to stay away from Aries or early Taurus moons & Venuses though. Too much hidden away with subterfuge in my 12th house, which weirdly enough comes from their moms. (Nooo)

  14. I remember this question. And answering above. It was interesting to revisit it, so I would like to add that although my husband and father have chart similarities and some personality aspects that are the same, it’s interesting to me that I married a strong alpha male and my father is a weak, cowardly man who strikes out at perceived threats to himself in a nasty way, and was never protective of me. In fact he often relished in my discomfort and pain.

    So I think I found what was missing. Being raised by a weak (fake strong) father made me want a for-real strong husband. And although he’s flawed like anyone else, I feel better about how my children are being raised.

  15. They say we replicate our childhood stuations and then try to fix problems that we couldnt fix as children, so yes, marrying either your mom, dad or an amalgum of them. Something that feels like home. I kept choosing nuerotics like my mother so I could heal the power imbalance we had. But my most recent sweetheart also has a good dose of my dad’s easygoing charm.

  16. My first husband was like my mom verbally and physically abusive. he actually repeated the pattern of abuse and then crying , begging for my forgiveness. My daughter actually married a Leo Sun with a scorpio moon. Her dad a leo , I am a scorpio..

  17. Yep, my long time love – 32 years and counting – has a lot of traits of my Dad: confident, decisive, masculine, practical,
    courageous, honest.

    My ex: impractical, wishy-washy, insecure, dreamy, vulnerable.

  18. My husband is nothing like my dad. Although I love my dad.
    I am like my husbands mom, but only in certain interests.

    I think it’s a myth.
    It’s only true in some cases. Sometimes people marry someone who is like their sister or brother, or like a favorite aunt/uncle, or as you said, a surrogate parent, or even an ideal of a parent, or some side of themselves they think they lack (if they were missing a parent, they may marry someone who takes care of them for example)

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