I try to ignore what people think of me, because I’ve got Neptune conjunct my Midheaven, squaring Venus. Discerning how people see me is not a strong suit. Further, people tend to not see me, for these reasons and more.
This is true in real life, but particularly true online. It’s sort of an all around hall of mirrors.
I learned this, hardcore, back in the 90’s when I first started using the internet. I learned it, along with 500 other astrologers.
Everyone in the group was floored when this was revealed, but no one more that me. It was a smackdown-like, but also a happy experience, simply because I really do like to learn.
I explained what happened, here:
Venus Square Neptune On The Midheaven, Projection And The Virtual Elsa P
Back in the present, I run into evidence of certain people holding me in contempt. It not like I don’t know people feel this way about me. I know! I know! But some of this stuff surprised me. This is related to the backend of this site. Sabotage, so to speak.
I set it aside because I’ve always had dark fan clubs. You’d expect this with a packed 8th house. But then someone who I thought, loathed me; dismissed me as crazy and such, expressed her true feelings which were opposite what I thought. I was stunned and it made me think about this some more.
You can expect people to be disingenuous in this day and age. Honestly, a good percentage of them have no choice. They’re at the mercy of someone or some thing. I don’t think I can judge this; especially if I’m not in a circumstance, similar to theirs. I’ll give you an example…
I hired two men on Fiverr to work on this site. Now I happened to be low maintenance in both cases, but even if I had acted an ass, they would have told me I was great, why? It’s because the site gives the buyer the overwhelming share of the power. A man has a 5 star rating and I can go in and ruin that. This could easily put him out of business, for weeks if not months, if not all together.
We’ve all got the “cancel culture” stuff going, or whatever it might be called this week. It’s so bad, human beings have stopped talking, allowing bots, ai, paid whatever, to speak for them. It’s tragic.
Worse, the Fiverr buyer can leave a glowing public review (and receive one in exchange). They can then go in and crucify the seller, privately. Fiverr encourages this – they email you three times asking for that private review! They invite me to be disingenuous. Repeatedly! When buyers do this, the seller gets your rating, lives to work another day. Then their rating changes and they don’t know which buyer betrayed them with a private review. Wasn’t me!
Now here’s a weird thought. As of today, it’s one of the more superficial signs that are most likely to be real with you. I’m talking about LIBRA. Yes!
I have Libra and I can speak to this. When the whole world goes one way, Libra has to go the other. We have little choice, especially BRAVE Libra, like my Mars in the sign. We just don’t like to see everyone gathered on one side.
The Saturn-ruled signs are also good in this circumstance. Capricorn really cares about integrity, as does Aquarius, who love to rebel.
For the record, I told both Fiverr sellers, in the middle of the project, I would never mess up their 5 star rating. Not that they can believe me, right?
I thought it might be interesting for people to consider this stuff.
Do you tend to know how people feel about you or are you often surprised?
I have Neptune in the 1st house. I’ve often been surprised by others views of me.
I get a lot of inexplicable hatred from people for no good reason. I blame Uranus in the first house.
i feel this too!!
I have a similar thing. I have Mercury square Uranus and Jupiter. When I write, I can seem very brash, very pompous even sometimes, but in real life people think I am the most gentle, most compassionate person.
People really think they know you online but as we know we are all multi faceted beings. Most of the time people I only ever saw write online shock me with their full presence/self.
I also think I seem a little more brash than I really am sometimes online because I want to be seen/heard. It’s like, how do you get attention with words alone? I’m not the most intelligent person by far. I know how to get attention irl, it’s easy— just be present. Everyone pays attention. Like you say -8th house. Energy exudes. It’s easy. Being attractive is also easy at least for now while I’m still relatively young.
But to answer the question, yes, I typically know how people feel about me and with great accuracy. I think it’s normal to care what people think of you but I think I maybe care a little too much, maybe. I’m definitely sensitive to it.
I feel for you and your sensitivity, because I have it too, to a degree. Venus Neptune. But I also have 7th house Uranus and can easily detach. If I do, Venus Neptune erases the record. I feel no pain as it washes out with the tide.
In reality, the only people who matter are those that stick with you. My husband told me that a number of years ago. It’s truer by the day.
Get this! Dead friends have more power, in that I recall them and they’re with me. It’s a cool idea. Catholic, I guess. Communion of the saints.
I know what others think of me but ONLY by what they TELL me, whether it’s a reflection of the real me or not. But …
This is the one part of yourself that you will never know, what it’s like to be AROUND you in lived experience; what the other person physically sees, hears, feels, what their inner true thoughts and feelings are at the time they are in your company. We will never physically experience that for ourselves. Ever.
And that I find truly fascinating! 🙂
I am more shocked when someone has a good opinion of me, than the other way around!
Because of this, I find life to be essentially, excruciating, not to say I don’t want to live it,
No, not really. I have Neptune aspecting Sun/Venus/Mars/Mercury/Jupiter (chart ruler)
Neptune in 10th, square pisces rising. People continually project onto me. They see what they want/need to see at the time. This can be initially annoying, but then I get a laugh when they’re shocked and their fantasy is eroded.
Sometimes I know what people think and sometimes I don’t. I like being pleasantly surprised. I admire those that don’t project, and have an accurate perception of me.
I have Neptune conjunct sun. Here is the textbook def. and most of it applies.
With Neptune aligned with their egos and their wills, people born under this aspect seek out some added dimension in their lives. Whether that is spiritual, artistic, or simply “different”, there is some kind of quest for higher meaning with this aspect. Neptune acts to soften the will, which can translate to a weakened willpower and susceptibility or impressionability. On the other hand, it can also signify a person who doesn’t want to be defined by the ego–someone who seeks to breakdown ego boundaries. Divine inspiration or a life of delusion? Much depends on the rest of the chart and how evolved the native is.
These people are dreamers and idealists. They resist being labeled or defined. It’s truly hard to pin these people down. Neptune acts to heighten or add a dimension to whatever planet it contacts. With the Sun, there is a need to experience something more than the simple self. Those born under a Sun-Neptune conjunction may glamorize their role in the world, or they seek to connect to something higher than themselves. They want to be something special, and it can be easy, with this sensitivity, to feel disappointed with the ordinary grind. Their memories of their lives and their experiences can be far removed from reality.
Sometimes those with this aspect have dreamy ideas about men in general. There may have been a missing or weak father figure in early childhood. The experience of this confusing figure is carried with the child through life and is partly responsible for the grown-up child’s identity problems. Sometimes it doesn’t have to do with the father or father figure specifically, but early childhood featured a confusion of boundaries or a lack of clearly defined rules or direction.
A great appreciation for music is usually present, and often for other art forms. An attraction to spiritual and metaphysical subjects is usually characteristic of these people. A distinctly emotional and sensitive personality is also common. At their best, people with Sun conjunct Neptune in their charts are very compassionate and tolerant people. They are susceptible to being led astray or used, as they too readily believe in others’ integrity.
Most of this is true. The missing dad. The deep love of music, listening, playing and singing (Taurus Moon)
But…. what also comes with this is heightened sensitivity to vibrational energy. I already know when someone is effing with me, lying to me, using me, or talking about me. I already know when they just don’t like me. This is never hidden from me. And I wish I cared. I don’t. I have always had this weird life filled with family, colorful people…. and I have stayed very busy. So… no time to care – no room in my life to make it better. I get projected on. All the time. Many times, it is really hilarious. And I let them do it. I guess what I am saying is I have a pretty good idea, and I don’t care. I have learned my place with people, and this was not easy. I care what my husband and children… and theirs are doing, thinking. Besides that, the only other people I deal with are people I pay. That is a transaction. So, I don’t care.
Why? Because I fully understand I am different people at different times. I am so many things. A wife, mom, grandmomma, was an employee and a business owner. A neighbor… a sister daughter …. I am not the same when I am grieving as I am when things are going well. I am not the same at work as I am with my granddaughters. I am not the same when I am really sick as I am when I am healthy. I am all things to all people but cannot possibly make all those people happy all the time. I do my best. And beyond that…. I just don’t care.
Hades Moon: but then I get a laugh when they’re shocked, and their fantasy is eroded.
I totally agree with this ^^^^^^
Neptune conjunct sun only messed me up when I was young and thought I was in some fantasy butterfly love relationship with some dude. Who ended up being a nightmare. Today I have a blackbelt in discernment.
I have neptune conjunct sun Libra in the first house – this happened to me too “Neptune conjunct sun only messed me up when I was young and thought I was in some fantasy butterfly love relationship with some dude. Who ended up being a nightmare.” Also my father was gone a lot when I was young – military. I also have a strong relationship with music but it comes out more in dance. Mars in Pisces 5th house. I’m not sure how people see me at all. sometimes they change abruptly. I love the thought, mentioned elsewhere “Your perception of me is a reflection of YOU.” That’s a helpful thought for me. And also that the people who matter are those that are there long term. Also the ones who have passed matter. This post was very very timely for me today. Thanks Elsa and to everyone who commented.
Picses rising, Neptune Scorp. 9th, Soup. I read this through twice. Yes. Yes. We are different things at different times…Sometimes, l will go along with ‘whatever’ to get things done, if l think it is worthwhile. But l will not go against my principles to prop up anything or anyone. The bottomline for me ‘l have to live with myself’. l get to spend a lot of time alone (a health thing) I cant avoid self reflection.l cant avoid myself. Some people seem prepared to throw away core self respect for external approval…always leads to an nasty end game and all sorts of manipulation(s).
You also made me think of how we handle difficult chart aspects. We can express them in a positive way, or not. Terrible things happen, the past never changes, but how we think about it can. I dont want to be trapped in the past and have it ‘ create my future’ .Follow the same pattern and it will. I have Pluto Virgo on the dec. sometimes l think the power is in the hands of others. Only if l let them. Yes. Discernment. Then action. But first choices.
My response slipped down the line, Soup.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the need to be disingenuous in this world at this time. You must say you believe in various things, and demonstrate it, maybe go record making donations to various causes, in order to work. You must wear a ,ask,
I don’t think this is good for mental health. It’s definitely not good for self development. I guess with Pluto in Aquarius, it may very well be, conform or die. I don’t see the individual empowered at this time.
The Fiverr is horrible for sellers. This type scenario is spreading rapidly.
I understand what you are saying. For me personally I can’t care at this age/stage in my life. If I am wishing on a prayer, I may have 20 years left and that is if there are no accidents, and my health is stabilized. I am retired. I have no desire to set the world on fire with a gaggle of new friends. However, I will be cordial to and help my neighbors. Then there is family. What do I care what a bunch of other people think about me? I stay in my lane. Which is with my immediate people. sons, dil, the kids and my closest friends. If someone thinks I am a (blank) outside that I just don’t have the time left or energy to give to what people think of me. The ones who know me know who I am and that they can rely on me, and my word. That is all that matters. For me personally, anyway.
No one can know who people really are through the internet. To really know someone, you have to be in their personal space. And even then, we don’t know all of it. And a person’s perception of you can change over time.
I love that meme. Your perception of me is a reflection of YOU. It’s true. No matter what I present a person is going to think of me with their mind, experiences and feeling that have nothing to do with me.
I used to be really sensitive to all that…. but not anymore. People will think what they want to think. Look at the world right now. You can present literal facts and people can’t see them. Dates, money exchanged, times, a damn photo….. folks still can’t see it. So, I gave up worrying about it. This is why so many famous people don’t even try to defend themselves anymore. They let time pass. That group is off disparaging another poor soul in 20 minutes. That is the cancel club for ya..
Yeah, I scare the shit out of people. Pluto ASC in Scorpio opp my Sun.
My dil is Pluto asc in Scorpio. Cap sun. Strong woman.
I always seem to rub people the wrong way – well this is my perspective…and lately ive been in turmoil with my family, I feel so unheard and undervalued in all aspects – family, community and workplace…i have no idea what is going on?!
though 2024 would be a good year for this double Cappy?!
My Rising (28 Aries) is in a tight yod with Venus (29 Virgo) and Neptune (28 Scorpio).
With all that and a Libra Moon they expect a people pleaser. Uh, yeah is all I have to say to that. I AM charming and polite and easy to get along with. Just don’t try to take advantage of me.
I have to comment on the ratings musing because it was one of the reasons I was let go from my last job. The place was more concerned about getting bad customer reviews than properly training a new employee. I made mistakes and I own them, but I got no grace when trying to fix them. It honestly is pandering to the lowest common denominator. I’m tired of it!
I have no idea what most people think of me. Either too quiet, or too chatty, depending on the context. I got a compliment this weekend that surprised me – I teach a class every other week, and I had a sub as my assistant. She told me I was an amazing teacher and doing such a great job. I was shocked; I’m always worried about my teaching abilities.
As for anyone’s ability to really know me, I don’t show much of my real self these days because I don’t feel like one of the normal ones. It’s rare I feel like I can open up beyond a certain point.
I think l am going to leave home again…
(Leo 21 moon 6th hse) OK, I do go along with things, sometimes …we all do(but I am finding even the ‘easy to ignore’ is hard to ignore atm)l (appear) to let things slide to avoid stress(I avoid stress like the plague ) l have decided not to play along anymore…. I dont want to ‘prop them up’ at my expense. Their energy field is not my energy field. I dont have to ‘feed’ it. Does me no good. Exhausts me. Bores me. I am simply used to it ‘l grew up with it’.
‘The familiar masks a slave…’ a line from a poem l wrote.
But this time l will do it a different way.
My Cousin is over from China. 4th wife. (Aries Sun coj. my Sth node, 2nd. …so many big chart contacts. How many times have l known him?) He said speaking of the family (he is a Black Sheep like me) “They (the parents)ruled by divide and conquer”. This is true. But l would add by ‘withholding’.
Something incredibly powerful is not allowing me to continue on with the same old, same old anymore. This is not about superficial things…
For the tarot readers todays cards:
(Chiron Aqu 12th)
9 Wands/ Fool/ Tower (Queen Cups) qualifier.
I am just not doing it anymore. I have absolutely nothing to lose…the support is fake support. The post is rotten. Has been for a long time…l will fix this myself. (No ladders required)
That should read natal Chiron Aqu 12th house.
I woke up thinking…what did l write? ‘The post is rotten’ is not about ‘here’ it is about my (real world) ‘house post’. Too much going on atm.
I even managed to misquote myself LOL (The line from a poem. Mine)
‘The familiar fosters duty but masks a slave’.
How do people see me?
Few do.
Well, my spiritual leanings in general like to err towards seeing the world, ourselves and people as mysteries and such. But that is how I TRY to see the world.
In practice, I am usually quite explicitly correct as to how people see me and I can’t think of an example where I have been surprised. I have often known they dislike me and had to wait out until they actually do something to prove this so I can then move against them.
The one exception to this is when attractive girls start getting nervous and flicking their hair around me. People have told me I look good but when I look at photos I don’t really see it.
I have noticed that what you say. I find there are two ways it can go. One is that, ever since lockdown companies found out they did not need to actually do any of this customer service stuff and hence, they no longer do it. The competency crisis is real. When you complain to those types you get nothing back. Just bland admin speak that doesn’t even hide they are not going to do anything about it.
The other is the type you mention where a wrong word can almost destroy the company it seems. Like sellers on Amazon.
There is a great malaise in society at the moment. Eventually something will turn up to impact society and shake all this stuff up.