Hello,
I’m a 29 year old female and I’m in such an emotional rut! I’m extremely lonely, depressed, and negative about the my past and future. The person I’ve been living with for 5 years has moved out to find his own place and I’m in emotional ruin. Throughout our relationship I was very jealous, possessive and controlling and this is what finally drove him away. Now I don’t have much hope for the future.
Why and what am I going through?? I’m hoping you will be able to offer me some insight.
Bereft
Dear Bereft,
If I could wave a wand and help you through this next year, I’d do it just to ease your pain. But it’s just as well I can’t. Because although it would do you some good short term, longer term it would leave as empty as you are now. And what would be the point? You’re much better off to face this… your Saturn Return, head on.
Now in astrology the Saturn Return marks the start of real live adulthood. What kind of adult are you going to be? And without fail, people at Saturn Return age (28-30 years old) see their lives slow down and get very serious.
In your case, this failed relationship is key. You plainly state you were possessive and controlling and now it’s cost you big time. And I don’t point this out to hurt you. I point it out because it is time for you to decide what you’re going to do about this. Have you had enough pain?
Have you had enough pain to decide to never, ever, ever, ever behave this way in relationship again? What if you have? What if it hurts so awful bad you say ‘uncle”? What if you say, okay I will do the work? I will do what I need to do to be a decent partner to someone?
That right there will mark the turning point. At that point, you’ll be off your back and with your feet on the ground, staring up at a big honkin’ mountain which you will be forced to climb over this next year.
And though I cannot climb it for you, I can definitely provide a map. And I think you deserve one, so think about this tonight and come back tomorrow and it will be here.
Good Luck.
I can’t wait to hear the rest of your answer to this. I have another year or so till my Saturn Return (I’m nearly 28) and have had the same issue my whole dating life of being jealous and controlling (Venus,Scorpio,8th)and it all leading to the same conclusion (will I ever learn?) I’m hoping to avoid that this time around, hope ‘bereft’ will come out of it ok.
Bereft will get through it and it can be mighty exciting. On my first saturn return at age 30, I got my first email account, two weeks later I ‘met’ a guy in Italy via an online forum, a month later I left my alcoholic boyfriend and moved back to my parents, 8 months later I moved to Italy without ever having met the Italian in person– and we got married the following year.
Ahem.
It changed my life.
Pay attention, there’s all kinds of weird opportunity knocking, right Elsa?
In several years, I get to face my 1st house saturn return HeadOn, Apply Directly To The Forehead. (I couldn’t resist.)
WOW, Sylvia. That’s some saturn return…
WOOOO Sylvia!
plug on Bereft. It’s worth it.
I’m almost getting my Saturn Return, Saturn 4th House in Virgo, but i think i will not wait one more year because my girlfriend allready had left me… She never’s come back again… i’m also in ruin and i think it allready started saturn return for me. Actually my Saturn it is still in the 3rd house but maybe it is preparing for more bad times… I hope not.
I have had such a battle the past few years only to discover that I was experiencing Saturn return in leo!! I’ll tell you it is something that I hope I will not have to go through again! I’ll give you a run down on the choices I have made and other things that just happened during these few years. I was 27 almost 28, broke up with my one and only boyfriend. We were together since I was 14 years old. I’m a hairstylist and felt I was doing wonderfull in my career, stable in every which way. I met a guy who swept me off my feet. Everything seemed to be perfect. Soon after he lost his contract with work and we moved in together rather quick, and being the LEO that I am, I took it upon myself and supported him, maintaining a lifestyle for 2 ppl for 6 months put me in a bad fiancial situation. Not only that but he was starting to show signs of being a liar. He is a pilot so he had to go elsewhere to find a job. I was left in a city alone in an expensive apartment stressed to the max about credit cards and paying everything alone ECT…. this was october 2005.. november: I was talking to my dad on the phone and he didnt sound well. I told him to go the doctor, he didn’t! Finally my family had to literally carry him out of the house and on Dec 1st I got a call at work telling me I had to go home ASAP. So here I am in Calgary alone, living in an apartment credit cards maxed out, my boyfriend is living in another province starting a new job, and now I have to go home to what I wasn’t sure. I was on the plane the very next day …my father passed away Dec 28th 2005. Now I was a complete wreck! I stayed home with my family for awhile, no income, my apartment, my furnature, my car, my career, my boyfriend living somewhere else. I was extremly confused!! So, I decided to give everything up and move with my boyfriend. Not thinking very clearly we both flew back to Calgary, I sold what I could and gave the rest away. My boss was in utter shock. I was shocking myself as well. I just didn’t know what else to do and was lead to believe that everything would be fine when we moved. Here I am driving my car accross Canada crying my eyes out the whole way. Saying please god , what is going on with my life?? It was completly flipped upside down! I had no idea about saturn return at this point. I just couldn’t figure everything out. Finally I got here and things became worse. I wasn’t working he began to cheat on me I smashed my car 3 times. I had to declare bankruptcy. My grandfather passed away Dec of 2006. I had a robber come into my bedroom while I was sleeping. My tools for work were stolen out of my car. I have had so many bad things happen to me over these past few years, I am sort of getting used to it. I finally started to work and that’s when I met one of my clients who informed me of what I was going through. She asked me did I ever hear of saturn return? I of course listened to her very well. What she explained was making sence. I wish I would have known prior cause I thought I was going insane. Or I had some sort of curse put on me. I know it is leaving me soon.. September 2007 to be exact. It is going into Virgo and I won’t see it for another 30 years, god willing. The next time I will at least know what is going on! Things are already starting to look up for me. If nothing else it has given me a firm reality check. I believe I am alot stronger because of this and I never will give up hope. I don’t know how saturn will treat virgo’s? But heads up people!! Hold on tight!
Shaunna