I don’t care who you are, eventually you are going to hit a difficult period in your life. You’re simply going to have to pass through some kind of keyhole. It might be akin to crossing a field of fire. It might be a lonely period where it feels as if you’re floating on some iceberg which no other human beings in sight. It might be a period of confusion, loss of energy or insight. You may feel powerless, frightened or angry and it may be that you simultaneously suffer more than one of these things combined.
As an astrologer, I meet and work with people who have minor problems but I also work with people who are deep in despair, with cause. Often times there is just one consultation. Other times I consult with a person every few months as they make some kind of transition but sometimes I work very closely with someone for a period or weeks or months or even years. I may talk to someone twice a day or three times a week for a short period while they’re in the eye of the storm and then six months pass before I hear from them again. Sometimes I talk to someone once a week, or most weeks or really, whatever they want or need. I like variety and I like to help, so I enjoy this.
Part of what I do is provide distraction from the pain! If you’re going to have to endure a difficult period, it’s nice to have access to someone of good cheer. We need humor to survive. No one wants to go through hell with a morose person for company. It turns out that jokes and practical advice is a good combination for getting someone from A to B. It just makes all the difference in the world if you can keep perspective and your sense of humor.
Have you made a difficult transition in your life? If so, did you have a distraction?
I lost my husband in a car accident when I was 42 with 2 kids to raise. This was May 1, 2001. My mother was diagnosed with cancer 3 months later, I have no idea what kind of transit was going on, and it wasn’t long before 9/11 hit.
I had only one good friend who stood by me. I also met a man 3 years later who loved a good laugh and told a great story and that’s what pulled me off the iceberg. Being widowed makes you, what my dad calls, a “third class citizen”. No one wants you at their parties because you are single and they are all married. I poured my energy into my work and went on to have two exhibitions. It wasn’t easy and it still isn’t. Being an artist helped me hang on to my identity and gave me a focus, also my kids. I believe the discipline of being an artist made me strong. So having laughter in my life helped me yes, but it was a longtime before I could laugh. But I could always pick up a pencil and draw.
(((Patricia)))
Yes, I am in one of these phases right now. I do have a couple of distractions.
I would be lost without humor. My life has been a series of transitions (Pluto ruled chart), and being able to laugh along the way, helped to make each one an adventure.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my Aries Sun in the 5th and Jupiter conjunct my IC. 😉
I have been morose, but not as often as some might think. On the boards, for example, I can commiserate in one thread, and laugh at something in another. My sense of humour has been shaky, but it’s one of the few things that I haven’t lost completely, I just need someone to shake it out of me. I can’t think of anyone who would *want* to be that morose person. I never used to share it, since most of it was anxiety-related stuff that I was sure would pass, and I also had my optimism. It’s deflating to know that you’re sinking, and yet you haven’t seen anything yet. Just circumstances combining with shaky emotions and adding to them = a bad combination.
I’m glad when other people are happy. I noticed Michele posting about feeling guilty, a week ago, but I also know that we all go through our cycles. I’ve been the one in the past, to keep everything to myself; I’ve also noticed that as it got easier for me to make friends again, it became easier for me to share, and it’s been frighteningly easier for the negative to also spill out. Someone here asked me, in July, why I was erasing posts, and it was because I felt so all over the place- like I was saturating the place with my presence, and it felt so different for me, and not a good thing.
Anyway, I’m experiencing something different now. I would usually be the one helping to distract, keeping busy. I love happiness, I love focus, I love practical advice and jokes, and don’t want to be a drain, but I might laugh at something in the afternoon, only to cry about it at night.
Damn, attack of the long comment. Drawing always used to get me through, too – but I stopped doing that regularly, thirteen years ago. Pain/numbness in the hands and a restlessness/lack of focus have taken over. I grab my camera, and walk around with it whenever I can. I thought I’d be feeling better by now – I started out this year determined, and focused.
For me it can be something as simple as watching some guilty pleasure tv.. I can’t always watch a deep movie or get into a heavy, long book. Sometimes I need something light! Humor is the spice of my life.
in it right now- we are close to the bottom financially but working to get it back up.
I thought the worst thing happened when I was a teenager (date raped) but this is ten times worse. It has caused so much tension and stress in my life that it sometimes feels like a forever pit- and if someone tells me again its going to get better I think I am going to slap them!
The bad economy has killed my business- those of us who are smart are doing our best to survive but its been very tough!
One particularly bad year (2002-03). A lot of loss, a lot of grief, a lot of daily hardship and it was imperative I not slip.
My distraction at the time were (as always) books. I re-read the Chronicles of Narnia as well loads of books on Buddhism. The Dalai Lama’s book Path to Freedom was an anchor for me. I also read Sławomir Rawicz’s The Long Walk at that time. I was inspired by the hardship he and his friends endured after escaping the Gulags.
My chart ruler Jupiter is in Gemini/6th. No doubt reading buoys me!
These days I read the ElsaElsa blog for a bit of oomph. Thank you for you humour, Elsa. You and your infectious approach to life have buoyed me again and again.
Kash, yeah. One of the major functions of this blog is to be a diversion. When my husband’s son was in Iraq, I took on this role with him too. It’s just what I do, I guess. The light of the Little Match Girl.
During all the hardest periods of my life, this blog has served as my source of strength and joy. It’s nice to be around people who have been to the depths and are still able to laugh about it.
Aw, I just got myself all choked up. When I get paid on Monday I’m SO sending in a donation. I love you guys!
I am in one of those places right now. Last several years actually. Health problems, money problems, very lonely and lost my sense of ‘self’. Had to leave work last year and it’s been so hard to not feel worthless..I’m only 32. I’ve never actively participated on the forums here because I still have SO much to learn about astrology (though it’s all starting to click into place for me) but I read here all the time and it’s a tremendous help to my spirit to read about other people who are facing similar hurdles in their lives. Humor is SO important, esp. on those days when life just doesn’t seem worth living anymore. Hugs and Love to you all 🙂
My family and friends have helped me through. Also being aware of the small simple things which are really wonderful, a smile or a comment and being thankful for what I do have.
I thought I knew what ‘difficult’ meant. Then, at the end of 2005, a “series of unfortunate events” demonstrated that any hardships up to that point were training wheels and water wings. The true test of my mettle, character and convictions was underway–pass/fail, closed book with no “do-overs”.
There is no silver bullet or one right way. I think you first decide to survive and which core elements are vital to carry with you–and then you figure out shotgun hit/miss what will get you through. And then you wake up the next day and keep doing it.
For me, my distractions were tied back into what I was struggling for…why I was fighting so hard rather than running away or laying down and giving up. So, a few stolen hours riding through my land or just ‘being’ with my horses.
The other great distraction was how often I’d ‘bump into’ someone in a difficulty I could now relate to in a very personal, compassionate way. Giving comfort with an understanding ear or being able to provide material support gave some small sense of worth and purpose to my troubles.
During difficult times, I turn to the Cappy moon part of my self…which means getting on a regimented schedule for at least 90 days. After the 90 days is up, I find that my perspective has changed and the difficulties become more bearable.
I read this blog everyday for 3 months straight after enduring the break up of my engagement from an Aqua Sun/Scorp Rising/Cap Moon, a miscarriage and the death of my father. These events all happened within 6 months of each other. Luckily, I had a lot of people in my corner. My mid-heaven is in Pisces and my Lilith is Capricorn which also helped I think. 🙂
I got divorced and found out my 15 year old daughter was pregnant on the same day – then that my ex and I were both losing our jobs because the company we worked for was sold so niether of us would have any income – nothing like the bottom falling out of everything at once. So what else could I do – I took in a foster teen with a mohawk. Keeping him straight kept me distracted long enough to get myself back on track. As long as I had him to worry about, I didn’t worry about myself. That kid and I saved each other. He’s now a productive adult and I’m not a crazy person.
Great stories of strength and grit! I’m proud to hang with all of you! (((squeeze hug))))
Sometimes all you can do is keep puttiing one foot in front of the other. Eventually you should clear the rubble.
I’m still going through my difficult period, but I must say, God has blessed me more than I ever thought possible. I stepped off the cliff with nothing but my Faith, and so far, I am amazed at the miracles that come from all places.
It’s no coincidence that I re-established contact with a friend I have not seen in 20 years. She is going through an unwanted divorce, and I have been able to show her life goes on, and it will get better.
I always make sure I am funny and upbeat around her, and that helps me from wallowing in my own depression. Laughter is so good in so many ways.