Estranged From Family

“Sometimes a kid goes off and joins a cult,” I told a friend. “I’ve known a few mothers this has happened to over the years. The kid takes off and that’s it. There’s nothing you can do. Your kid flew the coop!”

The are many reasons people break away from their families. Drug or alcohol addiction may be involved. Your family member may be out there homeless and no one knows where to find them.

My hair stylist’s mother died recently, leaving an inheritance to be split between her three children. Problem is, one brother is long gone.

My stylist and her other brother are trying to find him, but they’ve not been successful. He is a veteran and receives benefits. They were able to discover the city where the benefits are sent (by direct deposit). This doesn’t mean he lives in that city, or even that he is alive and accessing his account.

In cases where a person becomes estranged from their family, I would expect to see an outer planet aspecting their Moon or fourth house. Jupiter tied to the Moon may be another indication as people with this combination tend to leave home.

Are you estranged from your family or has one of the members of your clan pulled away? How do you feel about this?

50 thoughts on “Estranged From Family”

  1. I have Uranus, Pluto, and Jupiter, connecting to my moon as well as Merc.

    I am distant to my family some would say estranged aswell. I will admit there is truth in it, as I live on the otherside of the world in a completely different hemisphere.

    I did it, because I felt trapped. I don’t want to feel trapped. And I don’t have any regrets. I pulled away because I was unhappy. I had 2 options, be a substance abuser or leave and make myself happier.

    I choose the latter, even though I still love them.

  2. I think I’m black sheep, for sure. But not estranged. Things may change but there really isn’t any reason to. Unless I bring a steady gf over and they flip out, so far the immediate family is good over that. They are more accepting the relatives would know slowly and would accept slowly too. They should have a clue. They are all pretty conservative and heterosexual and I am the only ‘gay’ one out of about 50 or more people I mean maybe all my family.

  3. My family is toxic. I want no part of toxic people, especially not people I personally dislike and society seems to think I’m obligated to hang around because of accidents of birth.

    No thanks.

  4. I’m estranged from my family, even my son, even though I love him dearly. There was a lot that went into that situation, but all of it was loving and *deeply* considered by me before I opened the gate and let him loose.

    I love my brother also, and I guess you could say we’re close but the family detonated after my mother died and we all went our separate ways.

    The rest of them are dead or otherwise unreachable. Frankly I don’t think any of them liked me very much. Neptune on the moon, squared by mars.

  5. Moon conjunct Chiron on the nadir, this stuff is deep and painful and helped by occasional travel away from its root.

  6. I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time, but in light of recent events, I’m going to go so far as to amputate them afterwards.

    I wanted to jump the fence and can legally. So I talked to them about it (because I had the illusion that they were reasonable), but I was informed that I can only leave unscathed on their terms. So, I’ll play along for the stakes, though there are no guarantees they won’t change the deal later. They could, but I don’t know if they would.

    I have Moon-Jupiter, and Uranus is transiting my 4th. I sure get the urge to jump the fence and just leave the stakes behind, **** their terms. It would be better in several ways, but it wouldn’t in others.

  7. I talk to my family like only twice a year. Most of them are bad apples (even to their own blood). I don’t care if you treat other people badly if you’re family, just don’t treat me badly.

    I keep a distance and one day may amputate the many in my family that are self-destructive or want me to destroy myself. I’ll go as far as to say they enjoy their self destruction and exalt the members who destroy others.

    Why amputate family? They treated me badly. It’s not so complicated.

    The astrology? Chiron in Cancer.

  8. Yep no family, a little contact with a sister. I’m far better off, but I don’t love it. Right on the money with the astro. Moon aspects Neptune and Jupiter, which honestly, are some of the most well loved and best used bits in my chart. : )

  9. Scorpioandproud

    I had to let go of the people who were either drug or alcohol addicted. They were dragging me into a hole with them….calling at all hours of the night for no good reason. Causing pain to anyone in their path…I was unable to move forward with all of that going on. I was left no other choice. It doesn’t mean I don’t worry about them or care for them. There just comes a time when you have to let go of something you are unable to fix.

    I have moon oppositions Merc/Jup/Neptune in H4…

    I will never be disconnected from my kids but other family, I am just done with it. It was too painful to continue. I gave them far too many years as it is.

  10. No bad aspects to my moon. 11th H Moon is trine 3rd H Mars. Neptune is in my 4th H. I left my squabbling family and have never regretted it.

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    My sister has her Moon & Jupiter in Scorpio..she is 31 this June…she bought a house at the age of 20, no one else i have ever known has been able to afford a house & mortgage at that age, in my town.

    She has since been in & out of home in between boyfriends..currently in the middle of a divorce & is living back at home, it seems to be a never ending cycle for her. She is very close with my mum & i reckon she will be back at home for a while now. She seems to love being at home with my mum. Myself on the other hand left home from a very young age, & barely kept in touch with my sister has always been the one to be more family orientated than me. & i’m Cancer Sun, Mercury & Mars..
    Virgo-Moon & Aquarius-Jupiter (”.)

    I have no planets in my 4th though…

  12. I would love to be estranged from what’s left of my family after my mom died. After my dad goes, it’s bye bye forever. Everyone is playing along for the potential inheritance, which is obvious. (in my family, there is a lot of manipulation around money). I’ll be relieved when it’s over and we can go our separate ways. Even if there’s no money left. I’m willing to be civil and respect my dad even though he drives me nuts. My siblings, I just don’t really care that much. Meh.

    My moon is aspected by Neptune, Saturn, Pluto, Uranus, mars, and Venus.

  13. My mother’s brother disappeared for about two years. He came back, then left again a few months later. She and her siblings think he is in some sort of trouble, and had to run off again.

    My mom herself left her family’s home around age 19, because she didn’t want her life to turn out like her parents’. Her parents never strived to achieve more, and have always wanted everything handed to them. So now she maintains contact with them and helps, but doesn’t visit.

    She is saturn-ruled, with uranus/pluto conjunct in the 8th house in Virgo, and Aquarius moon in the 1st house

  14. Uranus square moon. Pluto square sun/moon midpoint on nessus. Uranus ruler of 7th to sun, or 1st house by Asc. Jupiter/Neptune last degree of scorpio in the 4th or Nessus in 4th from Asc.

    When pluto transited my scorpio 4th my family was brutally abusive and destructive, led by my mother. Prior to that pluto was in my 3rd(siblings), so i’ve pretty much been pluto’d since birth in my intimate surroundings. Brother tried to kill me when i was a little girl several times. Sister took great joy in manipulating, bullying and being abusive, mother was like a possessed evil demon. It destroyed everything. As i was only young, i’ve never known anything else. I left over 15yrs ago, never regretted it, but it took a very long time to accept all the hurt and finally let go.
    I don’t tolerate abusive and damaging people in my intimate surroundings anymore. If you choose to react to you’re issues in a destructive and irrational, or disrespectful manner, i’ll dump you’re ass within 5mths. No matter who you are, no matter how much i care for you. It is an absolute waste of energy going down for people who continuously choose to behave negetively.
    I’ll put in every effort to assist, but if the improvement or atleast the effort to do so via a change in attitude does not follow within 5th mnths, it’s definitely Saturn time.

  15. After surviving all that pluto rolled into my 5th, husband set fire to my home tried to kill me and ofcourse lost house. So..yes i left again. Pretty much i’ve had to except that with pluto dogging me i’ve just had to die alot. Now he’s transiting my 6th and wiped out my career and my day to day life got completely rolled, as it’s natally in my 2nd the financials and all i secured are gone too. Don’t get me wrong, somehow i’ve managed to be a very strong, kind and loving and appreciative person. I enjoy life greatly, but always with a sweet sadness. Every moment is filled with a joy of gratitude minute by minute, but also shadowed with a parralelled sorrow for all things. It makes every smile, every bite of food, every breeze and sunlit spot seem so brilliant and full of blinding awe. I am all too aware of the instability of life. Everything constantly changing evolving. For me.. there is no stability or security in life, betrayal by those closest is a given, not a fear (nessus). There is only survival until one day you don’t and then you die. I don’t hate any of them. I don’t believe i am entitled to anything. I don’t think i am worse off than others. Rather i feel quite blessed in a depth of knowledge and understanding that far surpasses many. The whole damn world is my family. Yes..sometimes we break up and take a different path.

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    Reading every ones stories here has reminded me that i am not alone in cutting ties with my narcissistic father for GOOD 2 years ago. It hurts everyday questioning myself about it..but i know i must remember that i have to put me 1st..not my fathers manipulative emotional blackmail that will only end up taking me under to the depths of hell, over & over again, like a revolving door.

    If it was not for my christian up bringing…i would be screwed right now..probably dead.

    My father creeps me out..& also many other people say the least :-/

  17. Ugh my daughter has this big time. However, I have it in my chart too. It has taken years, including moving far away and then back closer to my immediate family, to establish boundaries that make me feel okay living this close to them.

  18. I *am* estranged from my family – haven’t heard from them in months. I do have Moon-Jupiter (Trine), and, also, my 4th House ruler is actually squared by Jupiter. I don’t really fit in with them and they don’t understand me. I feel much better on my own, living my own Life. When I’m forced to deal with them, there’s always friction and contrasts.

  19. I have natal Sun and Mercury in the fourth house, in Capricorn. I love my home/family/roots a lot. But I also have Saturn in Aries in the seventh house. Twenty years ago, when Uranus and Neptune transited my fourth house, I married my husband and we began moving all over the place for his job. But I still “took care” of my siblings through long phone conversations, drama-packed visits home, and constant worry. When Pluto began its transit of my fourth house a few years back, my father died. I was only able to be there for the last week of his life, and my siblings definitely resented me for that. But I have my own kids to raise, and I would like to fully inhabit the life I have now. Uranus transiting my seventh house is prodding me in that direction. I will never be able to completely “cut off” my family. But I need to take care of the new family I have as well.

  20. Definitely estranged from my family. Chart shows Saturn in the fourth house. Father was alcoholic rage-aholic in deep resentment at being pushed to give up high school to help educate 7 sisters. His thanks? He was disinherited by his mother and cheated out of real estate developed with his brother. He was very scary to live for several years and died just before I turned 10. His siblings didn’t like my low-class greedy bitch mother (I wonder why), so once he died I lost contact with them. My mother then proceeded to cheat me out of my share of the property she sued my father’s brother for. My mother has been so vicious, critical, and abusive I’ve been forced to keep her at arm’s length. I only maintain contact in hopes of finally getting what she stole from me with interest when she dies. Recently I’ve been seeing lots of omens and astrological signs that I’ll be rid of her soon (I hope, I hope). It would be nice to live stress-free for a change.

  21. I am estranged from my family. I won’t get into detail about what my mother did (financially related) but it was severe & I was done (yes, my unaspected Mars in Scorpio is showing…). This was about 10 yrs ago.

    Anyway, I have a stellium in Sadge in my 4th, and as we know, Pluto was just barreling through that house. It hit my NNode, Mercury, Neptune, Sun, and Venus…squaring my ASC/DSC & Jupiter…

    As for my Moon (2nd house), it squares my Saturn & Chiron. Saturn is in Cancer, in the 11th…

    I always felt as a kid that I was going to move away (I am the black sheep Sadge in a highly Cancer/Virgo extended family). Childhood was happy but my parents divorced early (alcoholic dad – my Neptune loosely conjunct Sun and square Jupiter…hints?).

    1. I can so relate, people are human and make mistakes, but after a certain point, you just get tired, and as you’re said one is just done, just finished with it all.

  22. What if the family unit just doesn’t work for you – like hard angles all around – only squares and oppositions. I would atually love to be estranged from my family

  23. I am a Scorpio born on November 21, which in the birth system that assigns playing cards is the Queen of Hearts. I can relate to the suit of hearts as for many, many years I was present, loving, giving and nurturing to many family members and while I did receive some support from some family members, I was never truly acknowledged for the generosity and love I gave, and what I have made of myself. I started pulling away several years ago, but after my father’s death in 2012, and experiencing really cold and abusive treatment from a sibling, and hearing my mother defend him, and accusing me of provoking him (this family member physically and emotionally abused me when I was a child) I just could not be a part of their lives anymore. I have seen some of my nieces and nephews, but that is the extent of my contact. Other extended family members have chosen to “side” with the abusive person, and others who have not treated me well. I am gone from their lives. Sadly, since I made my choice, my mother’s health has deteriorated significantly (I am the only daughter, and was very present in her life for many years, while she always preferred her sons over me.) I wish them all well, and bless them in my prayers, yet have no desire to reach out to them in any form. This has not been easy and it actually really hurts, but I just got tired of not being appreciated and repeatedly devalued and worse. Such is life.

    1. from The Secret Language of Birthdays, Gary Goldschneider 1994 ps All of this is just you being you. You got the VERY PEOPLE to act yourself with. No judgment. Hope this helps. Forgive and LAUGH.
      November 21 THE DAY OF ELEGANCE

  24. I wonder if the same thing translates to a general inability to attach.

    I have this in my chart (moon conjunct Uranus/Neptune). when I was a little girl I ran away from home 🙂

  25. You nailed it. My 4th house straddles aquarius+pisces. Chiron smack in the middle of the 4th. Moon in Pisces opposite a Jupiter/Pluto mashup.
    We have a family history of abandonment vs enmeshment-at least 4 generations. All my kids live out of the country, eldest is officially estranged from me.
    How does it feel? I’m a Leo with venus in cancer: Heart Crushing.
    So how do we resolve something like this?
    As a Christian, I see the cross axis throughout the chart. The only thing I’ve seen that helps me, is to get healthier myself, and bring the wounds and opposites to the Cross, for healing and integration. 🤷🏼‍♀️

    1. Brilliant! It’s the only way to heal anything on a Quantum level! Remember, once on the other side, we are FREE. Actually, we are already FREE when we real-eyez this mirror world of “wounding” is Illusion, and the only thing Real is Love.

  26. How very interesting! My Moon makes a very wide trine with Jupiter. Some would say it is an unaspected Moon. And yes, I am estranged from my mother, stephmother, half-sister and brother. I prefer this situation above gaslighting, blaming, lying, stalking, etc.

  27. Escaped Scapegoat of a Narcissistic family dynamic. Despite many attempts to unite the family, being left to drift apart. Discovering my mother had smeared me to siblings for years and thus caused divide and estrangement. Felt a lingering sadness and loss for a family that is but isn’t, that never was and likely never will be. Flying the nest and in another country, experiencing Instability in home life through the years, including homelessness and loss of entire home to a fire. Yet developing empathy and compassion within a family of robots. Heightened intuition as curse and blessing.

    [Neptune square 4th House Pisces Sun & Mercury]

  28. i have neptune & uranus squaring my moon. i guess i’m estranged from my family, although i’d use the word “alienated” or “exiled” to describe what happened

    1. it happened as a result of pluto squaring my moon and conjuncting my sun. pluto has been transiting my capricorn stellium and destroying my life since i was 16.

  29. Under the equal house system (which Elsa swears by), my 5-planet Taurus stellium (Moon, Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Mars) is in the 4th house. Jupiter in Scorpio 10th house is exactly opposite my moon, to the degree. Under Placidus, everything shifts to the 3rd/9th house. I’m estranged from my family. I might be convinced of the equal house system based on that alone, Elsa!

  30. Avatar

    I’m astranged from my family. It started when I graduated from undergrad and my father died unexpectedly and left me a huge inheritance. My aunt and uncle who raised us when that father went to prison weren’t speaking to me at the time but once they found out about the money they turned greedy. It opened my eyes to how disgusting people are over money. My father was a vet and the money came from his disability. Anyway everyone turned on me when the money came unexpectedly and I was able to move to start graduate school. I’m a sun, venus, mercury in 12th with jupiter and neptune in 8th. My moon, mars, Saturn , south node is conjunct pluto in 6th. Before the inheritance I was treated like a child and a nuisance as the youngest and only girl. Once the money came they finally treated me like a worthwhile human but it’s disgusting how it changed overnight due to the money transferred to me.

  31. I am a Cancerian with Moon conjunct North Node. I am guessing that in this life family issues are a key part of my evolution. However- my Sun is conjunct Uranus- I need a lot of space and freedom. No desire to be attached to family or origin although i keep in tough (i am a cancer after all) I moved across the country (Canada so thousands of miles) when I was 24.

    I’m still trying to understand the Moon- North Node thing. Jupiter is widely square. My son has same aspect – born at my North Node return.

  32. Observation from March 2020 and continuing…………….

    2020- The world is thrown into uncharted territories sorta speak, what is the number one comment I see absolutely EVERYWHERE on social media or hear of very sparsely in human form…ALWAYS just ONE – ONLY ONE member of the group/family.

    goes something like this…..

    “I am the only one who’s sees this…I am doing/have done everything possible…I have sent them all the info I can find… they now think I am crazy…I have now been shunned from my family and friends (other family)….I did everything I could of done…I am alone… this is so hard being the only one…I am no longer aloud at my parents home or to see my grandchildren or to see my brother etc….I have lost so many people in my life…etc…”

    What happens if you connect these DOTS/PEOPLE globally on a map?! ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN ESTRANGED FROM THERE FAMILIES IN RAPID SUCCESSION FROM 2020….ongoing….

    What does that estrangement burst look like ‘pattern wise’, when visually mapped does it make a flower pattern like the path of Venus or does it make an odd chaotic shape.

  33. I became estranged from my dad’s side of the family when Uranus squared my natal Moon about two years ago. Ironically Uranus rules my Moon and my 4th house so go figure there.

  34. I have Uranus opposing my Moon,Saturn and Neptune squaring my Moon, and Moon is in chilly Capricorn.I was rejected by 3 parents: My mom, my bio dad abandoned when I was 6 months old, and my step Dad also not interested. When my Mom remarried,she and my step dad left me to Nan, and went off into their own romantic world. Luckily a loving grandmother raised me! I have 5 half siblings, none of whom wish to be in close contact with me.We did not grow up together but when I found them, they wanted very much to keep a distance, no happy “reunions” like you read in womens’ magazines!! I built a happy (small) family of my own.But now, since 2021, when our son became gravely ill after his vaccination, my own sacred family is also estranged.Our son is angry, desperate, ill, and has pulled away from the help and love of his Mom (me) and Dad. He needs our help, but is unwilling to accept it. It’s all a very hard life lesson.i thought I had these aspects conquered, only to find them in my life again at my ripe old age of 69. I thought I would get to “rest on my laurels”..since our family was so idyllic and close, up till covid.I have come to realize I will not have the kinds of unconditional Love I would have liked, in this lifetime.I seem to have a karmic debt to pay that involves lonliness, and abandonment and lack of family.I am a Cancerian so this hurts. but, so far, I still have a loving husband who holds me up in these rough times.Lately,I also feel estranged from friends. Have lost many (covid,cancer,etc.) but the ones sitll here, I feel oddly detached from and even annoyed by ,lately.. just feeling hermit like,I guess.. I am ALWAYS working on myself,spiritually,mentally, physically. Life is what happens while you’re making other plans. Pluto in done with my 19 degree Moon and 6 degree Sun, but going into my 12th or 1st house, depending on the house system..still figuring it all out. …

    1. Wow, Madeline. You are so not alone. We are with you, so much, going through so much similar, as we live through this death cult Genocide. The psyche emotional drain has been like nothing else ever, in our collective lives. Fortunately, the Unconditional Love part comes when we too cross over. (*Near Death Experiencer*). In the meantime, Keep The Faith and Hold the Line. PS Much thanks to your hubs.

      1. Yeah,when I write it all down it seems so monumental but, I am a pretty well adjusted and most of the time happy individual. More cynical than I used to be, but mostly pretty cheerful,and positive thinking.. I guess it goes to show we can use our strengths and work through the weaknesses.. I am not one who spent my whole life working on inner child” and all that, lol. I got the heck out of the rough situation and built what I wanted to experience.,I believe meeting my soul mate was really an important piece of my having a good life. And being able to build it.

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