Feeling Mortified

Recently, I’ve been part of a number of scenarios that left me feeling mortified. Capricorn is most inclined to to having this experience. Public image and all.

You can embarrass yourself, but sometimes your humiliation comes at the hands of another.  This can be intentional on their part, but it can be also be innocent, accidental, coincidental or whatever. The shame lands on you, just because you’re there and it lands on you. No one can really say why, other than it happened.

The latter situation applies in this case. It’s such a horrible feeling. It’s like being hit with a stick, so hard I’m knocked off my feet.  I’ve been caught speechless and clueless as to what to do with these feelings, which I experience, viscerally. By that, I mean I feel them in my physical body. My arms ache. My head spins…

Well then someone told me I could offer up these times I feel mortified, since I can’t stop them. BINGO! I instantly knew what she meant.

Someone has to be mortified. If it’s me, then someone else is spared. I understand this due to my background. It’s funny how you know something but have to be told again.

Try this, the next time you feel mortified in public.  Endure it so that someone else doesn’t have to.  Since seeing it in this light, I’ve been able to process my feelings, quickly.

How do you deal with intense public humiliation?

55 thoughts on “Feeling Mortified”

    1. I know what you mean. But there I am and it happens…again and again and again.

      This forced me to look for resolution, a way to deal. I found it.

      Not that I won’t try to avoid this circumstance, but I just can’t, at the moment.

      1. Yikes, I am sorry. I usually try to be a good sport about things like this hoping that a good attitude will expedite a quick end to it.

      2. I’ve spent so many years trying to hide from this phenomenon. Find a way out, become invisible, live in a tiny space to try to avoid the lash of it. I never once thought to offer it up. Thank you.

      3. It happens to me all too often :/ I am left speechless but it makes me appear to be taking the high road when in reality I wish I’d have spat back. For instance I ran into my neighbor the other day. Many years ago when my daughter was acting like a teenager somehow she ended up staying at the neighbors unbeknownst to me! There I was worried sick and my daughters friends told me ‘not to worry she is safe’. The neighbor never mentioned a word and I walked my dog past everyday like a damn fool not knowing. Although I never said anything I still seethe inside. So there she was walking her unleashed dog who was running all over crappy on everyone’s yard when suddenly she mentions how good a freind she has been to everyone (but me) and still keeps in touch with everyone. It was my moment to say I bet you didn’t screw them over the way you did me’. There is something about me that causes her to want to humiliate me for the last 40 hrs. She’s a Scorpio but I know plenty of Scorpios who wouldn’t hide someones child. Or woudl they….

      4. Capricorn Sun exact conjunction Chiron here. I’ve the opposite problem. When someone makes me feel this way, I instinctively turn their psyche onto a pile of rubble by what I say. Oddly enough, I get the same physical reaction of heart pounding, blood pressure, the aches and pains many have described when avoiding confrontation. I’m going to try offering, and spare my body these damaging reactions.

  1. I have a long-time Cap stellium friend, who’s regularly mortified by aggression coming from other people. It’s not shame, it’s just that she can’t understand how/why this can happen to her.
    Actually, she is so irreprochable that the manifest injustice of others is simply not understandable to her. She does nothing wrong.
    That’s the price of being perfect. There are slobs out there who can’t handle her perfection! It’s their fault, not hers.
    But, to answer the question, I’ve rarely had to deal with intense public humiliation, I’m not public enough. My humiliation is private, and I don’t much like to expose it, too private.

    1. It’s true! Those situation that publically humiliate you call for a very big view beyond hurt feelings otherwise your destroyed in a way. When I feel destroyed like that that sense if indignation and pride is unbearable but if I can find the bandwidth to not take it so personal at least or for someone else still at most it’s like medicine. In some way to have a bigger view. Saturn can get so bound up.

      1. You not only find your own big view, you can see who around you as a big view as well.
        And who does not, for that matter.

        A lot of this has to do with kindness. You’re either kind, or you not.

        If you’re not, I guess there are any number of reasons. But when things like this occur in the course of life, much is revealed.

  2. P.S.
    By that, I mean that she is a public figure, so will attract that type of thing, no matter what she is doing, good or bad, right or wrong.
    The only way to avoid public humiliation is to be out of public view. But sometimes even that is not enough. You can find scapegoats even in the lowest conditions. I in fact, the lower you are, the better chances of being abused.
    It’s all relative. Think “Kardashian” – how high can you fly, how low can you go? Some people have the guts to get hit all the time and they like it!!! It’s a challenge, it’s a game. It takes a strong personality to play it.

  3. Oh man, I feel you. I don’t know what to say. But planets in the 8th can also feel deep mortification being exposed and all. I think it’s more of an 8th house feeling. Offering it up is a good way to soften up the blow.

    How do I deal with intense public humiliation? Well similar to offering it up, I think, I’d could be worse’ I try to normalize whatever it is I’ve done in my brain.

      1. I say to myself, this has happened, move on. And then I do it.

        And it exposes me to higher realms, for sure. Because the sacrifice really is for another. And I am learning. About nuance, kindness, manners, how to act in the world.

        It’s a little strange.

        When I was a little girl, my grandfather would stand on his head in the middle of the grocery store. That could have been mortifying, yes?

        But we (his grandkids) never felt that way. We thought he was so cool. It just never felt embarrassed of him or any kind of shame. In hindsight, I see how odd this is. It’s only NOW, I am really seeing the spectacle of this, which I was part of many, many, many times.

        I mean, my grandfather’s headstands are stuff of legend. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, search, “Henry” on this blog and be amaaaazed. 🙂

          1. The more I think about it, the more I can tell it’s an 8th house thing. Its a transformation of energy. Not really the same as transcendence which would be Neptunian. This is like taking a different perspective (perspective is 8th too I believe) and the new perspective shifting energy around. I relate because I do this in a lot of ways. I have 8th house too.

  4. I am mortified at just the thought of public humiliation. Cap MC and Capricorn rules my 10th house. I went through a very public humiliation once and it was right after I had done something “bad”. I still feel embarrassed when I see someone who knows about it even though it was over 20 years ago! They probably don’t even think about it but I certainly do. Ugh

  5. Such a deep paralyzing feeling. But this is the tool. I can feel that as well. This is valuable counsel. Thank you so much!

    1. Hi Dorien!

      What a unique perspective you have on this, Elsa. I never thought of handling an episode of humiliation as “taking one for the other souls team.” It sounds very effective and like it would stop the knee-jerk reflex some have to extend the pain and humiliate themselves when something like this happens, whether done maliciously or accidentally.

      1. Hallo Scottish!

        This story of Elsa is golden!! And if you can take this attitude it will work for many more things.
        Without flights!

      2. We have choices for sure. But it’s not my perspective. This concept is part of the Catholic faith.

        Like there are some nuns who do nothing but pray for the good of others, all their lives. This is their calling. And if I am going to suffer public mortification, I can offer it up. And I do…but I do so with far more consciousness, since someone tipped me to that.

        1. This keeps me busy since I read it. It gives me more and more insight, in the past forinstance (the feeling “oh…that was then” and see it in another light) but also in my family. It is painful but fascinating!!

  6. I used to be motioned a lot when I was younger. .worried about “how it would look”…my mother often told me not to worry because most people are so self involved they won’t even be looking at you…I think I must have grown out of it or else gothen used to the feeling because I can’t remember the last time I felt that way.

  7. I also use this technique: identify with what/who is watching the mortification…..I can observe myself….the heat in the face, the kick in the gut….if I can see it ….who is watching….that part of me doesn’t feel that stuff…it’s watching.

    Capricorn (sun, mars, venus, mercury sextile Neptune)

  8. If I can laugh about it, I laugh. It becomes a funny story. Otherwise, I just try to forget about it. I don’t want to remember it. It never happened! Hit delete! I’ll just Neptune it away! Accepting it happened and moving on is probably better than denying it though.

  9. I’m a Pisces, so making me be seen is a horrible experience. I want to be invisible, you see? LOL.

    My Capricorn Moon disagrees sometimes though.

  10. Stuff like this sends me down under. So amazing when you find a way to transcend. I have looked for relief. I have only found it when I am sleeping.

    I have often wondered why this has happened to me. I get it mostly from within my family rather than out in the world. It hurts in such a deep place there is almost no sure way to recover. So, I bandaid it up and try to forgive and move forward for the greater good of everyone. Still, there is a place deep inside me that never forgets and it becomes almost too much a burden to carry. If I could just let it go…if I could just lose my memory…If I had just done this or that in the beginning. If I could just….

    Then, I just recoil. I am in a recoil right now. In an almost unforgivable situation. This is a humiliation and a deep cut. A private humiliation that has been made public. Deep cut the way to the bone. Leaving more than myself hurt, and probably beyond repair. There is probably no turning back. At least for a time, and probably a very long time if ever.

    No matter what the outcome there is no way I can correct it or forgive it. I can hold my breath I guess at some point and look up and over it. I am not there yet. I am paralyzed. I haven’t even taken down my Christmas tree yet in the hope of ….I don’t know what.

    I am trying to find the place where I can say this has happened so move on. If I could just tell it to my heart. I can go from deep sadness to anger easily. The emotions aren’t getting any less with time. I am however finding there is a longer period of time between feeling gut punched.

    I daily try to reach for the place where I take it so someone else doesn’t have to. But there seems no justice in that. In fact the perps just go away happy as a lamb chop not feeling a thing. What has been stolen can never be recovered.

    I count on the universe to even the score at some point. In my situation its known (somewhat) publically and what I hate is how ‘sorry’ people feel for me. I don’t like pity. I am not a victim. The whole thing is so embarrassing. I put myself in the position. I only have myself to blame. Still, who’s not for unconditional love?

    I have no idea when I will resurface. I may not be able to this time. I was sick for a long time. This situation probably didn’t help and may be part of the reason. I am amazed I am able to physically recover in the absence of the daily dealings….but internally I am certainly empty and used up.

    The humiliation is bad, the loss is far worse. Like Elsa says….Because the sacrifice really is for another.

  11. Avatar

    I had a nephew who, when he was about 4 years old, hated water. Nobody knew why but he would cry when someone tried to bathe him. He was one of those spoiled brat temper tantrum kids so we (being about 10 years old at the time) tried to force him into the bath. He got free and ran outside buck naked. We (me and my siblings) decided to spray him down with the hose on the front lawn. Instead of being embarrassed, he thought it was funny and laughed while we chased him around the yard. It was at that moment we realized we couldn’t humiliate someone who didn’t feel it. He didn’t care that he was naked in public. I think of him when I’m in a situation that is suppose to be humiliating. I think “Yeah, humiliation is subjective.” What is humiliating to one person is not humiliating to another. Most times I just don’t feel anything so it doesn’t matter what other people think is mortifying. I have two modes…laugh hysterically or kill. If I was really truly mortified I’d probably be lashing out with all the hate in my body. But that would have to be something serious.

  12. I would not call it, “karma”. I give this to my 8th house. I’ve written in the past about containing negative energy. You can search, “Elizabeth Smart” on this blog. That girl was kidnapped and raped by some creep for months. While she was contending with this man, other girls were spared.

    This is what I know a lot about…unfortunately, I guess you could say. So this is in a similar vein, though maybe a less even exchange.

    We see this in life…one person goes down while the other is spared. Some say the one who goes down has bad karma? Whatever. I laugh at that. I think it’s idiotic, truth be told. 🙂

    1. I hear you. I wouldn’t call it karma, either. Just was curious where you are coming from with the sentiment of when one person is afflicted, another may be spared. Thank you!

    2. Just read her story this year wow yes she has great spirit me too just starting to feel how I spared people just gettin a peek into the wild universe of mine its pretty big Ive touched alot of people and saved many.. In the dark side of show buisness.

  13. I don’t look at the universe in this way. Yes I feel like things have to happen. Every energy has to be expressed somewhere. But I don’t think every energy has to be expressed upon me. I don’t know for sure that I’m helping anyone by absorbing things like this. I like your perspective though. It takes the victim hood out of it.

  14. Elsa it hurts so bad my best friend in chicago is loving with my man. Who is still currently chi bound. Same song and dance??❤️Gemini Brett was gonna help me but I could not meet him white snakes’ “and here I go on my own” keeps replaying in my brain,
    Big love baby I love you so much.

  15. What is the difference between feeling mortified and feeling shame? When I was young, if I or someone close to me had done something wrong, I felt an inordinate amount of shame, especially if I felt it was known to others. (Capricorn moon.) Actually, I walked around for some years with my head hung down! Recently, I was publicly blamed for something so untrue that I filed a lawsuit. I don’t feel mortified but disgusted! Does feeling mortified mean you have done something wrong?

    1. @libra rising,

      it boils my blood when people accuse others of something they didn’t do. It’s infuriating. I hope you win the lawsuit.

      I often wonder if some people get ‘blamed’ because there’s some kind of subconscious envy towards that person, like they’re successful, pretty, etc, etc.

      I also hate prejudice too. I often wonder if some people just fit some people’s description of something, or someone, bad??

    2. I had a thing put on me at age 11 then to whoever since to my 60 yrs to whoever it befits his image close relative.. with many problems that are very serious.

  16. When it happens to me I just think it’s one of many and I say over and over: “you’re ok-you’re going to be ok.” Then it sinks in and I start to believe it. I don’t know… it just works. My best friend (an Aquarius) died of breast cancer not too long ago and she would here me go on and she’d always say, “You’re crazy, let it go and bounce to the universe – it’ll take care of it!” I finally realized she was right. (Leo w/Aquarius Saturn)

  17. No, not everything is karma. Sometimes you just get the horrible piece of the pie. And sometimes there’s a bug in the pie too!

    I wonder if it’s just people’s envy of someone’s charisma, or just the person has so much intensity/energy, people can feel it?

  18. ughh . . this has gotten better over time. Nowadays I’ve learnt to immediately ask myself if this is my true worth, very often it isn’t, it’s just part of the specific dynamics I find myself enmeshed with. I find strength in reminding myself of that, detach myself from the devaluing it brings along . . I try to teach that to my students as well – ‘if you know this isn’t truly who you are you don’t have to answer to it, just let it go, don’t get stuck with it . .’. I hope it helps . . for me maybe it helps that I have asc conjunct retro Neptune and I’ve grown accustomed to b attributed things I am not. I think of it as water on a waterbird’s back, it’s not soaked it, it slides off

  19. I suffered my first public humiliation at the age of 13. It has haunted and defined me ever since. All these years all I’ve wanted is a chance to somehow undo it (or redeem myself). Just this past year I’ve begun to slowly detach myself from that powerful wish.

  20. I do mortify my enemy now I don’t care its a close relative.. there is no other cure. Not for my situation its given me tons of freedom from the bottom where the devaluation was laid. On a wide plane of loss I had to buckle up.. and dish it out.

  21. I have Capricorn rising so this is my Achilles Heel. This is such an amazing post. I will think of ‘enduring’ for others the next time this happens. I’m sure it will be soon. LOL

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