How Do I Get My Scorpio Man To Open Up?

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Hi Elsa,

I’ve been seeing my Scorpio boyfriend for almost a year. As a Scorpio myself, I’m used to getting in peoples’ heads fairly easy… but he’s a tough nut to crack. All his friends tell me he’s crazy about me, and I believe that – but why doesn’t he talk to me about real issues? I am the kind of person who needs a deeper emotional connection, so it’s very upsetting to me to find out he is opening up to all these other people besides me. And to be honest, he rarely says he loves me or gives me a compliment.

Every time I try to talk to him about all this, he freaks out. But I really need for him to reach out to me. Sometimes I feel as though my feelings and emotional needs aren’t important to him. I love him a great deal and I would love to take this relationship to an even deeper level. But if he’s not opening up because he doesn’t want to be with me or doesn’t feel this is long-term… then I feel I have the right to know.

How do I get him to open up?

Scorpio Lover

Dear Scorpio Lover,

Forget about manipulating Scorpio! I don’t think you’re going to get this guy to do anything. WYSIWYG. Think, What You See Is What You Get, because this is the deal but it doesn’t mean you have to go hungry.

You can solve some of this if you go deeper yourself. For example, what do you care what he says and doesn’t say? What does he doooooooooo? Most particularly, how does he screeeeeeew? Does he share his energy? Is there a deep and meaningful sexual exchange? Because this is how Scorpio loves and communicates. Beneath the surface.

If you can feel his energy on you – if you can feel his focus – then you’re best off to just focus on feeling it. Because you’re not dating Gemini here. You’re not dating “chatty”.  A Scorpio man’s energy is most personal thing he has!

If you can do this, I think it will lead you closer to where you want to be. Because pressuring a Scorpio, even subtly, will not endear them to you. Appreciating the intangible things they give you will.

And regarding his friends, don’t worry about them. He doesn’t sleep with them does he? Well then, it’s not that personal.

Good luck.

14 thoughts on “How Do I Get My Scorpio Man To Open Up?”

  1. i once dated another scorpio. she is married now and we’re not in touch much but when we do meet again – and we will, and we both know it – there will be that look in her eyes that I miss, and what I miss is that wordless communication that was so easy, so natural. I loved it then and value it even more now.

    If you FEEL that he is NOT with you when he’s with you, that’s one thing. you may be onto something and yes, i think you have a right to pursue that – to tell him you feel he’s not present. BUT, if he IS there, and you feel him there, as Elsa so succinctly put it, then yeah, maybe go a little deeper. is that “vibe” something you can’t abide, long-term? ’cause like she said, WSYIWYG here.

    and back to my silentscorpio experience…she, as i did, had other people with whom she could share deep conversation and/or trivial chatter. and obviously we talked, but we weren’t looking to each other for conversation. some people need that and i understand that but some people want mainly to be able to simply BE with their other, and have that BEING shared and not pushed to try to be something else.

    assuming he IS there when he’s “there,” and that’s obviously a big point, he MAY be wondering why it isn’t apparent. why it isn’t enough.

  2. Ooooh yay I love the advice posts, they disappeared and now they are back! soooo Good elsa. I love your work <3

  3. as a scorpio moon conjunct neptune, i totally agree with Elsa. The complete surrender in sex, being fully present, the silent communication, the supportive actions in life, loyalty, these mean everything to me… i ‘talk’ more with girlfriends.

  4. Avatar
    Le Ciel du Scorpion

    Holy shit. Has someone been reading my diary? Scorpio v. Scorpio. It’s a fucking power struggle. I have to turn my own inner hysteria down a notch to hear the messages he’s sending me. Sometimes it makes me want to scream. But the quieter I am, the better I can hear it…and, my father is a Scorp. So, I have some experience with this. Scorpio men are really good at playing it close to the vest. I find that things get better when I stop doubting and simply assume that he thinks I’m amazing. Mostly, because I am…;)

  5. The “communication” between Scorps happen on an energy level. There’s no other way. Words don’t matter. Everything is shared on the silent mode. It’s a vibrational-communication, hard to explain to people who can’t feel this. I won’t even consider a relation with a person who is not going to be able to respond to this type of communication. It all happens on another level.

  6. Forgot to say…It feels like a magnet surrounding your body. That’s when you’ll know he is there, around you. With this kind of attention, putting his energy on you, you will know what he feels for you.

  7. Hmm. I had one Scorpio (sun) boyfriend. The unspoken-between-us emotional aspect was not at all an issue for me; heck, as a Cap moon/merc, I prefer it that way! I don’t think any sign plays emotions closer to the vest than Cap – which was what ended up being the dealbreaker with this guy. The talking-behind-my-back stuff. It was all good, his communications to his closest friends and parents regarding our relationship – I heard nothing but good things. He would even tell me what he’d told these people about us. But ultimately, I wasn’t having it; it’s either 100% private and closed-circuit or it’s not, and there’s no in-between for me. So I had to blow that one up into about a million pieces, which was un-fun. Now, my husband? Totally different story. He may be Scorp Venus but he’s Sun and Merc Cap and he doesn’t tell ANYONE his feelings about anything, LOL!! Works much better for me.

  8. I had one intense affair with a Sun Scorpio which was my first encounter relationship-wise with this psychic link/communication. In friends, have encountered this with scorpio moon and venus in which is a really nice link. Have just recent years understood how incredible this energy is. Currently am doing a (mutual) ‘circle the wagon’ with a scorpio venus man as we test each other for loyalty… he may be the ONE, i hope so. It’s been a long road with a lot of toads…

  9. if you have a real problem he will help you. Scorpio loves to play in a safe clean room. Let him take care of you. After he’s fixed your problems, BTW love honesty, let him do the cooking. Don’t move any of his stuff, don’t clean his room or cloths never flirt with his friends or show a hit of neg. towards his family.

  10. I am a Pisces and he is Scorpio. I know he loves me and I don’t feel it, I only get physical contact if he is drunk, sex is even more rare. When I talk to him there is always excuses like he misses his mom, his daughter, he tired, hectic day even when I’m half naked next to him. I can crying feel like iminvisable to him,but he talks of marriage etc

    1. Ive been feeling similar about my husband of 16 yrs. Saturn is conjunct his Venus in Sag. Fucking shit up. Not to mention Uranus on his Asc. Jupiter in Libra kicked our ass!!! Hoping Jupiter in Scorpio now can resuscitate us. Honestly its not just us. Every single couple I know is going thru the same thing!!!! This cannot be a coincidence. Havent u noticed this??

  11. I’m Cancer he’s a Scorpio! It is good, but he got drunk today and started talking crazy. I respect that he told me to run to the hills cause he ain’t ready. He sent me a text on Nov.4th while I was at a funeral and said I could marry him! After 6 months of texting back and forth I decided to go see him. December he called me and told me he loved me! I reciprocated. Today while drunk he said he still loved Michelle!
    He says his ex- wife wants him back and wants to have sex with me until he can get Michelle back! So much for the tarot cards and the zodiac compatibility. I’m thru with Scorpio crap! Li’a

  12. Avatar
    yatmedah Christian

    I’m a libra and my male friend is a Scorpio. You can probably Can tell it’s a complicated situation because I used “male friend”. I’m usually not the type of girl that is naive or that sees things for more than what they are but it’s something about him I can’t shake. One minute he makes me feel special the next he says something that makes my insecurities show through. And I feel like shit. I want to get to a place where I can be vulnerable with him but then It’s hard for me to open up to him about my feelings. We don’t communicate good emotional. I think that’s our issue.

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