Getting Married, Provided I Don’t Pass Out

tombstone.jpgThe soldier and I, continuing on the phone last night…

“Well are you going to marry me then, hen we get to Tombstone? Are you P?” the soldier asked last night.

“Well yeah. Yeah, I think I am. You should probably have some valium on hand though. Something. Jeez, I don’t know. Getting married is not the easiest thing in the world for me to do. It seems to be almost impossible.”

I know,” he said with a groan. “P, if we get down there and you say no, I’m gonna be pissed. I will be pissed OFF.”

“I know. I know and I will try to not be or become a problem. I really will try. I would like to be married to you, I am sure of that. You know that but I can tell you right now I am going have a hard time. I will not enjoy it, I think you should hypnotize me like you said you would.”

“Well I am going to trick you,” he said. “I’ll be tricking you for sure.”

“Oh no! How?”

“Oh we’ll be practicing and then the guy will say, no that was it. You’re really married. That was not a rehearsal, you guys are married!”

“Oh God. Well l I’m not going to worry about your tricks. You go ahead and use them, you will probably need them. Um… well if I start having a problem, you could hug me or something. You could hold my hand.’

hannibal06.jpg“Now, P, we can’t be hugging each other when we get married. We’re going to have to stand there, facing forward, not hugging and be married.”

“I know. But I am telling you, I am going to be standing there, dizzy. You just know I am going to spinning,” I said feeling dizzy even though I was lying in bed. “Jeez, I’m not kidding,” I said, taking stock of my feelings in the moment. I was lightheaded. “I think I may faint. We’ll be lucky if I don’t. I really think that could happen, I am going to have a very hard time.”

“I’m putting you in one of those Hannibal Lecter things then,” he said.

I laughed my ass off. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. At least I’d be upright. Some bridal planning this is…”

36 thoughts on “Getting Married, Provided I Don’t Pass Out”

  1. super, super gratz on your marriage plans Elsa … I didn’t know!!!

    With your worries and fears, puts me in mind of my skittish Jup/Ura conj. … when you speak of fainting and all that.

    Here’s something … chanting helps. I had to chant to myself the whole ride there to my big wedding. Especially when my mother almost made me late to my own wedding because she thought she forgot her shoes that matched her dress.

  2. Well thanks you guys but lets just see if we can get it done. I personally will believe it when I see it but we do absolutely have the intention and feel married in the ways that count already. I mean we are together and will not separate… we are completely committed to death do we part but we would like to manage this other thing if we can manage it and we are going to try,,,


  3. Snap – I just saw your comment and thanks for it. It really is something… I was deeply terrified to marry him when I was a kid and I feel the same feelings now.

    And keep in mind it has taken us FIVE YEARS to get this far. We’ll get married when and if God says we can get married. You just would not believe the forces of nature we have to deal with. I’m not kidding you, spin your head ’round like the exorcist.

  4. Oooh, don’t bring up that nasty, scary show – it terrified me! I try not to see any image to this day, if i can!

    Elsa, in response to post number 5, what else is there? But trying? That is what a marriage or commitment is, right? TRYING. Always making the effort. The commitment that I WILL ALWAYS TRY.

    I don’t know, that’s just the way i see it…

  5. And I really do think someone ought to give me a drug. Just for the day or a few hours or something. Be fine once it’s done.. I just don’t think I can stay in my body for a ceremony. Going into a coma is more likely. I wish I was kidding but I did have a dream last night after we talked.

    We did have a wedding… I was there and it was okay. I thought the whole thing miraculous. Both the (good) wedding the fact I dreamed this. If was also a very strange wedding in a certain way but I don’t want to say how because I don’t understand it myself and think it would be too revealing. All this stuff is just so sensitive. I guess you just have grok the 30 year old root and what passed between us back then… what happened pretty much every time we looked at each other and then what we did… we separated.

  6. Can I ask you a question Elsa? Do you believe in Karma or anything of that sort? This is an actual question, not a lead in or anything…

    What DO you put it down to? Have you made any kind of peace or come to any kind of decision as to why you guys seperated?

    Also, I am wondering if you feel more fragile without the soldier around.

    You seem to have been a very strong woman throughout your whole life… you might surprise yourself and find the inner strength to be there for the ceremony. After all, isn’t he incredibly important to you, and wouldn’t you like to be able to remember things about the ceremony, for instance the look on his face? And your son(s ?) will be there, too…

  7. You’re already married. Just think of it as a weird party where you’re stating the obvious in semi-public. ^_^

    Go Elsa go! Excelsior!

  8. I think Venus-Neptune is always a little scared about marriage, but it’s a good thing to remember that no matter what frame we use, it’s still and always about ourselves. Marriage can put an end to fantasy, but never to true love.
    I wish you many blessings and lifelong happiness, yours it’s a wonderful story and shows that true love is invincible.

  9. Venus-Uranus might be another one that doesn’t feel too comfortable in face of marriage, I’m not sure which one is worse because I’ve got them both and I was scared to death… never mind, I survived and would do it again, but this time with the right one.

  10. I fought with my fiance all the way up the courthouse steps the first time I married him,then divorced, then the second time I married him I laughed uncontrollably to the point of leaving the room KNOWING I shouldnt be doing it again. Que sera sera. Happily unattached. Pisces on pisces…not good, but wishing you both the very best. Congrats!! 🙂

  11. Many, many good wishes for the day Elsa P, for you and your good Soldier!

    “Gooooo-in’ to the chapel and we’re goooonna get ma-air-air-air-reed!”

    I am so happy for you – congratulations!

    I feel for you about your dizziness though, and all the stuff that’s coming up about a wedding ceremony – but you’re strong, and you’ll get through it with your usual aplomb and grace I’m sure. Just remember to breathe!

  12. Elsa, this subject is driving me CRAZY! (No, not marriage) I believe that you said you use the Whole house system – but I would imagine that a lot (if not most) of the people that comment on your blog use Placidus.

    Of course you know having planets in houses using one system doesn’t mean that you will have them there in another (there seem to be a few different house systems). In Placidus I have four planets in the 8th! In Whole house (am I identifying that correctly?) I only have one!

    Seems to me that a person with 4 planets in the 8th house would be very different than a person with one!!!!

    Aaaargh! It almost makes me want to completely ignore the houses!

  13. I stand corrected, but with your method I go from 4 planets in the 8th to just one – Venus – in the 8th. That seems like quite a difference to me. And it seems to me that it would make a big difference to the chart as a whole.

    Guess I’ll have to go back and check each one, and see which “seems” more like me. With 3 planets in Virgo (I guess I can attribute it to this) this lack of exactness bugs me.

    I’d love to take a class, but school starts tomorrow – and this time I’ll be juggling two courses, work and kids! :o(

  14. My chart is pretty much the same with both house systems (born close to the Equator), but it was a major revelation when I found out my real birth time, and my rising sign changed from Capricorn to Aquarius. For many years I’d been doing my best to be a good Capricorn and behave well, wondering why it didn’t work…so when I found out I felt relieved. Though Saturn is still there watching from above, I embrace the Uranian side with less remorse 🙂
    And here is a question to the collective, do you think that knowing your rising sign influences the way you see yourself? How would you feel if after years you found out that your rising sign was not Leo, but Scorpio, for instance? Who can relate from their experience?

  15. Whoa Conny – that’s an interesting experience and a great question!

    I am a Scorpio sun, but my ascendant is Pisces. I really feel the Pisces influence. All The Time. I am so dreamy all the time, it can be quite the struggle to make myself behave, and buckle down! That’s just one example. I also notice it love-wise.

    If anyone told me that Pisces was not my ascendant, I would probably not believe them.

  16. Conny – that has happened to me. My sis calculated my asc. wrong when we were kids. We thought I was aquarius rising, and she Cap.

    Then Michael Erelwine came up with software to calculate charts:

    I went to a metaphysical bookstore to get mine (cost $3 at the time to have a chart calculated) and lo and behold found out I was Cap.

    The chart was only off a few degrees so all the planets were in the same houses but my sister quit calling me DETACHED and that was a relief!

  17. Elsa, thank you for posting this interview with Michael Erlewine. I like what he says “As I understand it, we are surrounded by messages all of the time. They are everywhere around and just waiting for us to pick up on them.”
    The scene at the bank trying to get a loan is a hit – I can relate to that so well…

  18. You two are just the cutest. Of course hugging is allowed in marriage ceremonies! What are they going to do, tell you to stop hugging? 😉

    “Hey now, you two… quit acting like you love each other!”

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