Hi, Elsa.
My father committed suicide during the blood moon, September 27th. And beyond somewhat wondering what was behind that, I mostly struggle with getting the love for the full moon back. Instead of a message of subconscious and perhaps release of things that have come to fruition that need to be let go, I feel pain and foreboding. The full moon – the first which so recently past again for the first time since my father’s death brought beauty to my friends and felt so unbearable to me.
So I ask for myself and perhaps others – what do you do when a significant astrological event marks a reminder of great tragedy or trauma? Can you gain back a different meaning? Or somehow heal beyond that specific meaning? My experience was hearing this news while staring straight at the blood moon. I’m sure others have had something similar – whether it be Orion’s Belt in the winter or something else. A distinctly painful memory matching up with a distinct astrological
event.
How can I gain back the love, awe and wonder? I know it’s not an easy question but I’m curious your thoughts.
Daughter
Dear, Daughter,
First, I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m going to make this short, not because I’m insensitive but because I want to help you with this.
Right now, you’re in a vacuum (of pain and loss). The full moon is tied to your father’s death, because you’ve simply not had a chance to process or heal.
As times passes, doors will open. Your father did die under a full moon, but that’s not the only thing that happened. It’s just what you’re considering at this time.
Now I mean to indicate that people feel in love under that full moon and had fun and dreamed or whatever. But this is also personal to you and your father. Your father died, yes. He left this realm. But who is to say that he’s not in a better place, right now, on this day?
My point is that right now you are thinking your father died under a full moon. But next month or a year from now, or ten years from now, you may be thinking that your father transitioned or was released from the bonds of this world under a full moon. And that will be very different.
So my answer is that this can and will resolve if you expand your view.
My second idea would be that you come up with a ritual for the full moon that is appropriate for what the moon means to you. For example, every time you see the full moon, you might pray for the repose of your father’s soul.
Thanks for writing. I wish you peace and healing.
If you have a question about astrology or life – ask here!
Beautifully conveyed, Elsa.
I agree with Kimberly Elsa, very nicely written, brought calm to me after such a sensitive post. My dad (83) is in hospital at the moment, tubes and drips, while yellow taurus full moon in the window on MOnday. So sorry Daughter for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
My dad suffered a sudden stroke and died miles away from home when Jupiter was on my IC. I know it’s not the same as the full moon but I distinctive remember worrying about dad’s trips away from home and thinking nothing can happen when Jupiter is on my IC. I thought I can see a tragic event like that reflected in my own chart. Ever since, I don’t like Jupiter transits anymore.
elisei, were I you (and I’m clearly not you, of course) I’d take a little quiet time, when available, to reflect on Elsa’s words: who’s to say he’s not in a better place, now? When we grieve, it’s because we miss the relationship with that person (oversimplified definition… sorry). I believe that when we die, we can experience greater beauty, greater love, greater peace. I, also, identify dying with Jupiter: a transition more awe-inspiring than we, here, might guess.
As someone that can relate to this… I’d definitely advise as well making the full moon a ritual… It would be something very sacred & a way to always feel your father very profoundly. It’s actually a gift that you will understand later when the pain has subsided. I wrote a piece about this actually, grief evolves and one day you will likely be empowered by the full moons.. I say that bc you are clearly seeking, so that’s a good sign to someone that wants to heal … And you will
My father died on a full moon (Hunter’s Moon) 24 years ago. It took a few years before I could associate the full moon with pleasant activities. The grieving daughter needs time to heal and to come to accept this loss and find peace.
Dear, sweetheart Daughter, first off, big hugs from me. Your father killing himself was an aggressive act, to those who cared about him – my own father was similarly twisted.. But, he died from disease. Nevermind, he got loads of attention while on the path to dying. What he wanted. Honeybunch, sweetheart, much love to you, from me.
My deepest sympathies on your loss, losing a parent is so difficult. I lost my Mother unexpectedly in 2007, my Mom died about a week before Mother’s Day. Every year since I not only have the anniversary of my Mom’s death but the reminder of most everyone else in America celebrating their Mom. But the pain disapates and as Elsa mentions your perscpective of the situation evolves. I hope this helps, your wound is fresh and raw and my heart aches for you.
Dear grieving Daughter, my heart goes out to you. May your father rest in eternal peace. Perhaps the reason you happened to be gazing at the moon at the moment you learned of his death is so that, as Elsa has so wisely advised, every time you see the Moon, full or otherwise, you will say a little prayer for the peaceful repose of your father’s soul, which will also help you heal.
My father died accidently when I was 18 monthe old. I don’t know if it was a Full Moon (May 24, 1951), but for my early years it did not affect me. This was all I knew and and life with my mother and grandmother seemed normal. The older I got, the more I began to feel his abscence. I miss him deeply and know that many things in my life would have been different and for the better had he lived. While I can’t predict what could have beeb, I can say what I know would not have been.BTW, I have Uranus natally in my 8th house Cancer. I also read that Saturn in the 10th house may be an aspect of an early loss of a parent either through death or divorce.
“But next month or a year from now, or ten years from now, you may be thinking that your father transitioned or was released from the bonds of this world under a full moon. And that will be very different.”
My father also committed suicide. I used to dream about him almost every night. I do not dream of him that often anymore. My feelings of this are that he doesn’t need my energy anymore, he is on to a better place in his progression of life.
I feel you can use the full moon to reach out to him and extend your energy to him. Perhaps it created a realm where you are closer than at any other time.
People say that suicide is an easy way out, but I feel it takes the most courageous to commit.
use this as your tool to send him supportive energy to move on. for your father, and for yourself.
(((blessed thoughts))
I am new to this full moon and I have paid attention it has been 4 death back to back the first one was the and the first death was the first time for me to go out to manifest the next morning I got a call saying that my brother close friend had a heart attack that same night as the full moon.im sorry it just too much to write.i will stop here.