How Can I Get My Boyfriend Back: Stellium in Sagittarius

Dear Elsa,

In April, I began a relationship with a man. He was actually my first crush in grade school, and I even had a baby doll named after him. But since then, we had not been factors in each other’s lives at all.

I got married to a man in the Army and our lives took us far away from our small town to Germany for most of the time. When we separated and divorced, I came home again after being gone for almost 13 years and this man from my childhood and I began dating. He was head over heels in love with me, it seemed. He put me up on a pedestal, called me Mary Poppins (perfect in every way) and said he was floating when we were together and our kids meshed very well.

We went too fast probably, but things were fine and everyone knew that I was very much in love with him. After a couple of months, my son went to his Dad’s for the summer and then I got very, very needy. I’d also just gotten out of a relationship with a man who had treated me very much like a princess and I guess in some ways I pushed him to be more like him.

Things deteriorated and he began to pull away just when I needed him the most. I got very angry and in my Sadge way said too much and went overboard – including putting a bag with all the things he’d given me on his porch covered in the word “liar.” I behaved childishly and broke up with him on a text message. He had recently gone through a divorce as well, after his wife cheated on him and didn’t need me hurting him, that’s for sure.

I pretty quickly realized my mistake, missed him terribly and began to try to talk to him again. He would not take my calls or return them, would not respond to text messages or emails. He cut me off completely, which for some reason drove me insane. It was rumored (by him later) that I stalked him, although I think that is a gross overstatement. I did call and text too much, left two gifts on his car, and dropped by his house TWICE. To me this is not stalking but I guess he felt otherwise. I sincerely was sorry and wanted him back and I still do.

One day I went to his house and we talked for about two hours, had sex, and he said we’d “turned a corner” and that he was just really scared but that he wanted to start spending time with me again. From then on… nothing.

I haven’t “stalked” him since then, although I will drop him a line every now and again, just to let him remember that I’m still sorry and still miss him. Sometimes he will text back indicating that he is going to call and doesn’t. My problem is this: how do I get him back? How do I convince him that I’m sorry and I really honestly want another chance. He’s done plenty of things since that were, in my opinion, a lot worse than what I did but he won’t let me back in.

Is there any way to get another chance?

Really Sad

Dear Sadge,

I don’t think you can get anybody to do anything, so consequently I don’t think you can get him back. He can come back but that’s a very different thing. Is he going to come back? I doubt it. Here’s what I think is going on:

You have five planets in Sagittarius and you like things to be bigger than life. You like being a Princess and you like being Mary Poppins and so forth. But in fact you’re a mere human being living alongside everyone else in the same condition. Sorry!

So you left the relationship where you were a Princess (why?) and leapt into the next one where you were Practically Perfect and you knew you were going too fast. But this doesn’t count when you’re a Practically Perfect Princess, right? If you’re involved it’s got to be special. The thing is, who do you think has to hold up this illusion?

It’s the man and this is a burden for him. It’s obvious you need copious amounts of attention. You need the focus on you and if you don’t get it, there is hell to pay. And this is justified, right? Because just look what he did!!

And what kills me is you managed to manifest all this in just a few months time. You have a big ol’ love affair that crashed in two months time and I don’t know. Does this sound healthy to you?

So he’s gone and you want him back. And I’m not surprised. You want to be Mary Poppins again. You want to do anything but stop and look in the mirror!

So you make calls, text messages, buy gifts… and is any of this for him? Of course not! You just want him back! It’s not that you actually care about him. You just want to reestablish a connection to what he can supply. So now you write me and what do you say?

You say, “I am special, and my love is special. The bad things I do are irrelevant, they’re justified, now how do I get my boyfriend back?”

::sigh::

Look. You are 35 years old. It won’t be long before Saturn goes into Virgo (2007) and squares all your planets in Sagittarius. At that time you’re going to come down to earth, big time. Let this be your heads up.

Good luck.