How Can I Let Go Of My Ex-Husband?

Hi, Elsa.

My ex-husband left me 3 years ago because of my infidelity. After a messy separation, I came to terms with the pain I caused him and have been trying to make up for it ever since. Since our divorce, we have maintained contact and have moved past most of the negative feelings we had for each other by trying to remain friends. Granted, the love is still there or I don’t know why he would keep in touch.

Anyway, we have both moved on to other relationships but talk frequently, especially since I am helping him with school and work. He calls me about everything (or so I thought) from problems at work to personal issues he’s having. However, I just found out through social media that he recently got remarried. I know it should be none of my business, but the news hit me like a ton of bricks and I am heartbroken all over again. I can’t say whether I had hopes of us getting back together or that his marriage solidifies the finality of our love, but it hurts all the same. I realize that my feelings could damage my current relationship and would like to just cut ties so that I can move on with my love life. The problem is that I don’t know how to do that because I feel so strongly for my ex. Any advice you can give would be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Stuck in the Past

Hi, Stuck.

When I put up your chart, I was expecting to see some harsh Saturn transit. Still paying off the cheating debt or whatever. I was pleasantly surprised and I think you’ll be happy to hear this as well…

This shocking happening is part of a Uranus transit to your Venus.  It may be sudden but it is meant to get you free. I would highly recommend you accept the invitation to detach.  Here are several reasons why…

If you shut this door you’ll be free you to have a completely new relationship. With Uranus transiting your natal Jupiter and Venus, I don’t think you’ll be waiting long.  Further, the next relationship should be fortunate for you.

There is a “do the right thing” portion to this as well. I just don’t think it’s punitive.

Saturn in Capricorn is squaring your exalted Saturn in Libra.  Boundaries! This should mark the sound of the door shutting between you and your ex. First, because it’s not right to get emotional support from another woman’s husband but it also makes sense to accept the rejection.

I say this because you’ve been “around” for three years and for some part of that, he was courting his new wife. He made a choice.  Now you can make a choice to let go,  knowing that if you do place a boundary (in both your relationships) this can be the end of your penance for your cheating. You are truly free to go.

Detach from your ex; focus on your current relationship. If you find you’re not actually in love with the second man, then let him go as well. The decisions you make now (with Saturn squaring natal Saturn) will determine how your life looks, seven years from now, when Saturn opposes natal Saturn. Seriously, look that far ahead.

Good luck!

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