How Hard Is It To Change Your Life?

Scorpio colorfulI was talking to my friend, Ben, this weekend. We’ve known each other for 35 years or so.  He was recalling a conversation he had with someone he knows…

“They you are. You’re moaning away. You’re moaning and moaning and I understand. You want to moan away and you’re welcome to do it. Be self-indulging. Moan, to your heart’s content!  But call me, when you actually want to do something about the problem. Call me when you want to fix it and. Until then, go moan away, elsewhere. I just can’t stand it anymore.”

Ben is a Scorpio who has these great boundaries.

The next day, I asked my husband (Taurus, with a Scorpio moon) how people tended to wind up in the exact same situation they tried to escape… ”

Change is hard,” he said. “You have to work to change yourself, even the least bit. It’s nowhere near easy. This is why people tend to avoid it. You’ve basically got to kick your own ass to do it and most people want no part of that…”

I’m putting this out here so others can hitchhike. Uranus is headed for Taurus – this a great time to break free from your rut.

Have you ever changed something about yourself? I’m talking about permanent change. What was it? How did you do it? Was it hard?

23 thoughts on “How Hard Is It To Change Your Life?”

    1. I agree ! I’m in there kicking a very old habit a rut of wearing the rug… (doormat) That started too long along & this weekend I’ve started kicking and cussing to break free. It feels great, strange like meeting a long lost lover so familiar but covered with shit.
      Yea I been blue for too many Christmases & now? I’m gonna try me a different color.

  1. Yes. Complete career change, move from the East coast to the Midwest, sharpening of my values and life philosophy… first house Uranus in Sagittarius probably makes this a little easier to do. I have found change to be exciting, but perhaps it’s because I don’t come from a good family and needed to get out of that environment. I pray every day that God points me to my path, so there is also the faith that change is part of that direction (12th house Mars conjunct Saturn).

  2. Change or be changed. That s what I think Uranus will do for me. I’ve been in my rut so long I’ve begun to accept and tell myself it’s safe. Uranus might throw me into a headwind, but I might like the is going into my 11th house, I need to meet some new crazy friends!!

    1. Ykno.
      I’m feeling similarly.
      Uranus has resided in 7 for like ever. Naturally I’m single n have lost all tolerance for the illusions of romance, love etc.
      No one seems fo real or relevant to or for me or my life.
      Whilst in 7 it opposes (right now) Neptune in 1 (Libra) and sq Uranus (cancer) in 10.
      It’s also trine Pluto n Jupe (Leo) in 11 and sextile Venus in Gem in 9.
      Once it goes into Taurus it’ll conjunction my Sun in 8 but not befo it squares not Moon and Mars (conj) in 4 (Aquarius).
      Surprisingly my fears have instead made me isolate to avoid allis cosmic zaniness.
      I’m sho dat ain’t da best but I’m tired of frustrating myself constantly w/less den adequate results.

    1. Its hard to see your part in things. I think sometimes people just need to have their struggle acknowledged. Its the inner child crying out for love.

      Ive changed things that I dont feel like going into. I had to change them so that I could live with myself. I was basically backed into a corner. Im not sure it needs to come to that for most people. Im pretty fixed, but enough mutable to know when Ive been beat.

      I changed it by surrendering and simultaneously looking at what I did to contribute to it. I looked for my own hypocrisy, took accountability for it. Balanced the karma where I could. Hell yes its hard. When theres no one left to blame…..

      1. anonymoushermit

        What does it mean to surrender, in a spiritual sense? I’ve heard that word a lot in spirituality, but what does it mean? You don’t have to answer, but if you do, I’m reading and getting my popcorn! Teehee.

  3. It means the same thing in a spiritual sense as a literal sense. Acceptance. Allowance. You realize your limitation and accept it, because it becomes obvious, and obviously absolute.

    The natural result of that is surrender, or fight to the death I guess. Thats your choices in that moment. Its joyous though. The ego will tell you its a loss, but its really the greater part of you absorbing the lesser. Thats the only way I can put it.

    Theres lots of implications associated as well. Theres integration, expansion, reconciliation of karma, peace.

    Have you ever just realized that something or someone was never going to change, and somehow that freed you from trying to change them or the situation?

    1. Yes to your last paragraph, Libra noir. I realized someone had been gaslighting me all along and that I wasn’t wrong or crazy. I was done. Vindicated.

    2. anonymoushermit

      “Have you ever just realized that something or someone was never going to change, and somehow that freed you from trying to change them or the situation?”

      Yes! Some people who were very close to me. I had to admit once that one of my siblings loved real life trolling. Everyone jokes and trolls, sometimes. But he does it a lot! It can hurt, sometimes. He can’t ever be honest with anyone, not even himself. I believe he does these things because he hasn’t owned his feminine side yet! He doesn’t want to admit that it exists. Heehee!

      1. Well, in spiritual terms, and in the context of changing your life, the same thing applies to things you dont know how to change on your own. That realization comes “hey, I dont know how to change this about myself, Im at a loss about how to approach this” (admittance/acceprance) then its natural to acquiesce to God/Goddess or Life or whatever you concieve of it as, and allow that force to change you, if it wills it so.

  4. Avatar
    Hildegardes Girl

    Im petrified. Change isnt always good. You can say its all about attitude but who would be grateful for a reverse in fortune these days when you were doing ok?
    It will be transiting my 8th house where my moon is and then into a quieter 9th house(no planets)
    But for the next 2 1/2 years it will be a painful screwy time. Just in time for my 3 year Saturn return in Aquarius in 5th…..yay
    Anyone got a cave or remote hut somewhere in the wilds of Nova Scotia I could rent?

    1. Hildegardes Girl – maybe you’ll just be required to further review your financial and legal obligations. Formulate a plan and that’s always a good thing.

  5. I cannot seem to manage it personally. Not without someone guiding me slowly and gently for years on end, which is about the only way I ever made a major change.

    Basically I just have no clue, don’t know how, don’t want to do what it takes if what it takes is horrible, etc. Plus being a Taurus, which makes it worse for wanting to change yet not being able to.

  6. I am a Capricorn, I broke free
    From junk relationship took forever
    Now though in a holding pattern Feel like the fish on the bottom of a jelly cup on the windowsill of a child
    Looking up sounds muffled just my little bubble sounds hoping Uranus
    To shoot a flaming arrow thru the corner of me, perhaps to meet a spontaneous fireman and wake me up

  7. Oh yes! I had to completely change my friends and how I lived to do it! But it comes naturally because I am a double Scorpio-we are meant to transform, built to do it! I am sort of in the process again with my daily habits and health (Taurus is my 6th House).

    I love what Ben said! I wish I had boundaries like that with this one person I know, but they are in a deep well and I can’t quite let go yet, but hopefully, they will be strong enough one day to do it on their own, because there is nothing I can do to pull them out. All I can do is assure them there is someone at the top of the well waiting for them to come up.

    1. Avatar
      Hildegardes Girl

      I like the well analogy!
      Mmmmm …I dont know Ben or his lifepath but people can definitely whine endlessly. I personally just listen. Which is all people want you to do. It can wear you out I know.Everybody deals with it in a different way. Bens way is best for Ben.
      I dont know… I just listen anyway. Doesnt cost me anything out of pocket. When they are ready they are ready. I just remind them of time passing and ask WHY they dont resolve it.
      Then again. I do alot more listening these days.That seems to be my schtick. I guess cause I had infinitely patient people in my life to listen to me when it was my turn.I guess Im returnibg kind karma with karma.who knows…

  8. I’ve had to break free from a couple of people I’ve known for years, basically just fled which is not my style, usually try mightily to work things out. Sun Gemini, Taurus ascendant and Venus and Mercury, plus a load of Virgo. Maybe the Mars Leo and Jupiter Aries helped this change during this Aries Uranus period. I also left jobs and moved many times. I’m feeling much more stable recently, and slowly steadily becoming independent through self-employment. It makes no sense but seems logical given my chart. I didn’t have the courage before, everything had to be torn down repeatedly before I could see this. I am being called on now to provide support in a big way and am grateful I’m up for the task. Leaving people and positions which drained me, I can now help those who’ve been there for me all along, because I trimmed the fat, so to speak. This includes myself, oddly enough. Like a side benefit of doing the right things.

  9. It’s hard. I’m resisting it and still finding comfort in old patterns. However, Uranus doesn’t seem to be allowing this. Longtime friendships feel stale even some family relationships are kind of wearing thin requiring boundaries to be more firmly established. The thought of seven years of this does not sound appealing to me but there doesn’t seem to be any other available option.

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