In astrology, it’s common to refer to the ascendant as a person’s “first handshake”. This is true outside of the fact it’s not nearly that simple.
I’m writing this to pair with an earlier post. If you care about relationships and if what I assert in that post is true, it makes sense to consider this.
Can Relationship Patterns Be Changed Or Is Synastry Hard-Wired?
I’m mutable, with Mars in Libra. I tend to take social cues from the other, and then adapt. It sounds disingenuous when put like that, but it’s authentic to my nature – Capricorn rising. I think the key question is this: who’s going to lead?
Personally, I don’t have a fixed MO. I entirely capable of crossing the room and starting a conversation with a stranger, especially a man, if I am interested in him, but that would not be usual for me. More likely, I allow the other person to set the rules. I think this is because I prefer to get along and I know how easy I can switch up. Just imagine, having ten billion things to say or not say. I have so many ways to go. Basically, I’ll wait to see what I’m dealt. But here’s what usually happens…
If the other person leads, the ask a lot of questions. They probe me. They want me to explain myself, but not in a bad way, usually. It’s the “What makes, Elsa P, tick?” question.
People tend to get very personal with me, right away, which doesn’t bother me at all. I tend to enjoy it, especially if the person making the queries is intelligent. I read it as an interest in getting to know me, as opposed being nosy, in almost all cases. Also, these conversations trend away from superficiality, which is my preference.
If the person wants me to lead, I certainly will. In most cases, what comes to the front is my natural curiosity. What are you doing, why are you here, what were you thinking, do you like that food..? Really, anything. There is nothing I can think of, I’m not interested in knowing. This is probably the hallmark of my personality. If a person does not want to exchange ideas and/or knowledge or share experiences or whatever, I am not going to appeal to them at all.
If I do get to talking, I’m going to be forthright and I’m very likely to drop something different into the conversation; probably because my mother told me it’s a sin to bore people. I guess you could say, you may not like me but you’ll know we’ve met! That’s seems “Aquarian” to me, which is why I think it’s inherited from my parents, who were both mega Aquarius. When I lead in a first meeting situation, I look for a pickup point. How can this person and I, enjoy this interaction? This is true whether we’re on a date or merely standing in line at the post office.
Considering this as I type, I’m okay with how I first engage with someone. Friendly, open, happy, honest and interested. Whatever emanates from my 8th house can’t be controlled.
What about you? You’re meeting someone new. How will you present yourself?
I always first present myself with a smile. Leo Rising. I don’t do this purposefully but I noticed I kind of always give people a slight bow. Super engaging with Leo Rising but it takes more for me to keep being engaging. Chart ruler Sun and the Moon in the 8th. I like for other people to initiate conversation with me. Mercury-7th. Like you, I like to get a feel for the person and what may interest them before talking much. Also I have that 8th house emanation thing that I can’t help.
Unless I’m working. With clients I will initiate conversation. It’s my job to probe people.
Come to think of it, I lead with subservience. However, once you choose your position, I’m ready to play and then some.
Replying to you, because our 8th house in common. Your initial burst of sunshine is going to be countered by your 8th house, where I have the 9th house – I pretty much always want to tango! Meet you on the dance floor! But also the card table, the debate stage and if has to be that way, boxing ring works for me too! 🙂
Yes I have 9th house also and a strong Jupiter signature. Jupiter/Uranus conjunction in Sag. I’m down to have a good time if others are up for it, but most people my age I’ve found are fuddyduds now-a-days so I rarely have that kind of fun anymore, lol. Now I use that energy in a more spiritual way. I use it in my work a lot. I still dance and sing at home on the regular though. My husband is my main audience.
Pisces Ascendant: I usually wait for the others to approach but try to show “open” body language and may make eye contact. I feel more assertive when surrounded by people I do know. I used to hug walls and corners at big parties but quickly attract someone to talk to and then go from there. The vibes I feel are important and I will flee from people I feel intimidated by or ill at ease with. This has saved me more than once from actual harm.
I like how you explained this. This type /personality is why I like it here. You are very engaging spiritually.
Thank you! I like it here too! I always, always want to learn, whatever, from whoever!!
You have a really great Gift and use it well spreading your seeds.
I agree with ALICE, it’s the reason I keep coming.
The way I appear to people, in the past 15 years (since living with MCS) have been a life lesson in understanding my chart. I’m by nature caution with Cappy moon in the 12th. But have Jupiter conjunct Venus in the Sag 11th so does that mean I love adventures or take off if my love of people, place or circumstance no longer suits?
With my highly sensitive nature amplified (multiple chemical sensitivity/environmental illness) Both those characteristics challenge my ability to be in face-to-face interaction with a mask.
I have Libra, 9th house and seek relating; the universe sent the virus and everyone wore/wears masks and the internet created Zoom and FaceTime.
To deal with these later in life humblings I’ve turned my old Red Dress into art: first online storytelling and now hand drawn stories to create a way to meet others and share from my heart what is difficult for me to “explain.”
I guess it matters that all the planets are pretty much dredging the bottom half of my chart these days(inner workings) in contrast to a very public natal chart.
My Scorpio Sun etc. and stellium in Leo 8th square have challenged me to be real , in a dramatic way. Like Rob Breszny once wrote about us Scorps “Not everyone can handle your honesty, not even you. Cherish wisdom more than knowledge. Serve soul more than ego.” I’m still learning.
Virgo asc. My skills are rusty as i’ve had to live under a rock to heal. But I’m rolling that off …so to speak
Libra Ascendant w with my boatload of Leo hiding behind it.
My Mercury retrograde and Saturn in my third made conversation and meeting people very difficult. On the Meyer’s Briggs scale I came out as an extreme introvert. I actually had to take classes on how to copy extrovert behavior. Me with 4 planets in Leo!!!
I think I’ve outgrown that problem and I think I’ve become comfortable initiating conversations. My progressed chart has a Libra sun an Sag ascendant. A little easier to handle.
The first thing people usually say to me is “Wow! You’re tall” 😂 The way you describe yourself in interactions is very much the same as me. I’m always curious to know how and why about everything.
I’m Pisces with Aquarius rising. And I’m tall😂
Pisces with Virgo rising. Love being connected and meeting people and hearing their life stories. I treasure little magic moments of beauty smiling at the cashier, or sharing a rainbow with strangers and feeling genuine warmth towards all people. When I work I talk alot as I teach but when I play I enjoy not leading. I look forward to one-day meeting a right match. I just cannot be in relationship to help broken ones any more.
I’m a Pisces Rising with Virgo Pluto on the Descendant and identify with what you are saying. Gemini Sun too, so you know I love to talk!
Sag rising. Warmth and humor and a smile, and I’ll talk to anyone about almost anything. Tangential connections don’t bother me. A fun conversation can just be one time, as though we are travelers telling tales of the road.
I have an early Sag moon in the 9th house and almost always get talking to a Sag Sun or Ascendant wherever I find myself. Instant connection.